Do you think that thin people hate fat people, and why?

I never hated ' thin' people when I was 'fat'..and I don't believe that 'fat' people hate be now that I am 'thin(ner)"

But yeah, I have friends who have lost a significant amount of weight like I have and don't like their snarky remarks about overweight people...they clearly have very short memories.

Usually overly confident or nonconfident people judge. Fat people dont like skinny ones because of jealousy and skinny ones think fat people are just gross in most cases. Personally the only "fat" people that make me think anything are the ones that slop down food like no tomorrow and the skinny people that annoy me are the ones that are 110 lbs saying that they are fat. I have been fat and I have been skinny. Its best just to keep your mouth shut and stay out of peoples business.

I imagine people feel more comfortable giving "skinny" people grief because being skinny is socially acceptable whereas being fat is not. nawmean?

its a hard issue. I am fat (not as much anymore but still a "big guy"). I was 50 lbs fatter. So I know both sides, and hopefully I'll also sooner than later know how it feels to be thing/inshape. People automatically judge you based on what you look like - this includes body shape, color, beauty, clothes, get-up, comliness, and mannerism (and mood). This is how we biologically work, so putting aside biology/psychology discussion, there is no getting around it. Add on the car you drive the house you own, your education (and some others) and you get a truer picture. It all matters, but none of it speaks to who you are inside. but should it?

when a stranger sees you they automatically and very quickly size you up. they don't need to know you more because you are a stranger passing by with whom they'll have limited interaction. I'm sure there's evolutionary advantages at play here as per survival strategies. If people know you know they'll change this first impression. but the first impression is so incredibly important in so many situations.

isn't it one of the reasons we all want to change? other more important reasons trump of course (like health, longevity, mood etc), but its a huge thing to walk into a room, have a stranger see you, and know they look at you as a fattie who is unnatractive (so much so that many of us are guilty of jumping to this conclusion whether it is the case or not).

I for one know people see my as a "big guy" and I long for just blending in and being considered "normal". And as I slowly, painfully start to progress to being more and more normal, I find myself losing patience w/ people who are fatter....in my mind I'm thinking, if I can do it, so can you...it took me a long time to get up the nerve to get healthy, and I deserved all the scorn I perceived from people during that time - and so do you.

I will probably absolutely hate fat people eventually. I hope so - but as I think is clear its more self hate than anything else.

so bottom line - I think people do hate fat people (especially those they don't know or care about) - and that is probably the way the world should be. some people have biological conditions that cause fatness, and for them its tragic, but for 90+%, its just the same as for me - a mental game I was losing, and one I want to win (although can I truly even "win" after losing so many years of my life as a "loser"). hmmm.... hope so hope there is light and peace at the end.

I went to school with a girl that was really mean to me from 1st grade until we graduated high school. I saw her the following year in the grocery store. At that time I had lost about 60lbs since I graduated school, she was super nice to me and told me I looked great. A day or so later I told a mutual friend about her being so nice and she told me that the only reason she hated on me in school was because "i was a fat slob" in her eyes! I can't believe people are so judgmental!

I’m an average size person and let me state for the record that I don’t think her weight really affects her ability to be a stellar news anchor. She’s good at what she does and I give her props for attempting to turn a negative remark she got into a good lesson for kids.

That said… I saw that video and what bothered me is that she called the email “bullying”. I think that woman needs to read the definition of actual bullying. Also, she says in the video that his words don’t bother her, but obviously they do since she is making an issue out of it, although it’s questionable whether part of that was just for “show” so she could try and turn it into a lesson for kids on the air.

Either way, she is attempting to latch on to the topic du jour, bullying, and while I appreciate her wanting to tell kids that their looks don’t matter, I’m sick of the term “bullying” getting tossed around every time someone gets their feelings hurt because someone says something they don’t like.

Here is the definition of bullying from a very reliable source:

http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/definition/index.html

Calling something like the email she got “bullying” undermines that seriousness of real bullying that hurts our kids and makes them afraid to even go to school.

The email she got was not that bad. I’m not clear as to why the guy even sent it to her (was it in response to something? Is he just a jerk? I don’t know) but the writer didn’t even use the words “fat” or “obese” in it, let alone call her names or taunt her.

The only part of it where he was out of line was saying that young girls shouldn’t look up to her because of her weight. On the one hand, she’s a strong woman who is clearly successful in her chosen career. Girls should absolutely look up to that. But on the other hand, she IS overweight and just because she claims to be okay with it, doesn’t make it healthy. So, my take: young girls should aspire to be successful in whatever field they choose to be, regardless of their appearances however, they should also aspire to be a healthy weight.

The writers email was unnecessary, maybe the anchor is trying to lose weight and get healthy? But it really does not meet the criteria to be called bullying.

Also, she is in the public eye. This was her own choice when she chose to be a news anchor. Like it or not, when you choose a profession like that, your looks will be judged. Right or wrong, it happens. I model. I’ve had photographers and other models tell me I’m too fat, too skinny, have a weird face, have bad hair, you name it. I expect it. It’s part of what I do. When you choose to do something like act, model, perform, be on tv in any sense you really need to grow some thick skin and ignore the haters.

You should NOT read their emails on tv and give them attention and try to make an issue out of it. It’s equivalent to feeding the internet trolls online. If it had been me, I would have read approx two lines of his email, deleted it, and moved on with my day.

As a person that use to interview people for jobs, I pass over heavy weight people!
I was over weight myself and knew how hard the work would be for a obese
person and rejected them.

As a person at the "interviewing level", one would assume you could use correct grammer...perhaps they should have passed on you!

I'm all for putting rude people in their place (though I think in this case it maybe was for a particularly physical job so weight might be a factor), but you spelled grammar wrong and the comma should be inside the quotation mark. And that ellipses really doesn't belong there.

If you're going to correct someone else's grammar in a post, you should probably be sure your correction is perfect.

It's a law of the internet that when someone corrects grammar or spelling they inevitably make mistakes in their correction.

I imagine people feel more comfortable giving "skinny" people grief because being skinny is socially acceptable whereas being fat is not. nawmean?

I think there's a reverse tolerance thing going on. It's not PC to criticise fat people. But skinny people are fair game.

Kinda like how middle aged white males are a fair target, even though they are often the majority.

You can continue the parallel. Skinny people, like white males, tend to have more advantages in life, so it's only fair that they be ridiculed and put down whenever possible, right? To even things out. Some sort of perverse karma.

yeah, that

They don't necessarily "HATE" overweight people, they just don't usually see eye to eye. Obviously a thin person will not have the same interests or world view as an overweight person and therefore will not run in the same social circles, etc, etc. We as a society and as innate human beings tend to go towards the familiar and the "like" we gravitate towards those that are like ourselves so that we may feel comfortable. Then you have some people who are just insanely rude and judgmental about overweight people because they don't understand what had to transpire for someone to get to that state and they never will. Those people can fall off the earth as far as I am concerned.

As a person that use to interview people for jobs, I pass over heavy weight people!
I was over weight myself and knew how hard the work would be for a obese
person and rejected them.

As a person at the "interviewing level", one would assume you could use correct grammer...perhaps they should have passed on you!

*grammar.

They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.

Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.

I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?

Just because your goals in life are diet and fitness related doesn't mean everyone's are.

I want to be a published, best-selling novelist and I'm working towards that. Are you less of a person because you're not? You shouldn't judge others' worth or self-worth based on what you choose for yourself. You have no idea what's going on in that person's life unless it's someone you know very well. And if someone has such low self-esteem that he or she doesn't even have the drive to take care of him or herself (if that's the case), does that deserve hatred or judgment? Or compassion?

I don't know if you were quoting me or the person I quoted, but let me clarify what I meant.

I didn't say anything about people's self-worth being less than mine, because they don't make the same choices as I do or don't nor did the person I quoted. He said, "They have the appearance of not caring about themselves" and this leads it being difficult from him to care. I was just simply stating I understand where he is coming from, but how does he know that the said person isn't already trying to take steps to better their lives. I can see having a non-caring attitude to someone who doesn't want to be helped, doesn't think they need to be helped, etc. But once again, things are not always as the seem.

I am sure some people who see me at first glance probably think I am a chunky person who eats McD's every day that ends in Y and sits on the couch in my spare time watching reruns of Friends. When the fact is I work out at least an hour every single day and for the most part watch everything I put in my mouth and try to make the healthier choice. I was simply trying to make the point things aren't always what they seem.

As far as does the person deserve hatred and judgment or compassion, I try my best not to judge people on first glance and put them in a stereotype. I think as humans, it happens, whether you like or not and whether you admit it or not. When you see someone, even if you don't have an automatic thought about them, you usually have some sort of feeling, such as anger, compassion, sadness, etc. If it's someone I do not know, they usually get compassion. Whatever problem they are going though I try to sympathize or empathize. If it's someone I do know, it depends. You can only help someone that wants to be helped. If the said person has become "toxic", meaning whatever their situation may be is starting to negatively impact me or those I love, I no longer associate with them. If that makes be a b!tch, so be it.

All that being said, I have friends that vary significantly in race, religion, ethnicity, etc. I have friends who are smokers, non-smokers, daily drinker, people who don't drink etc. i have book smart friends and I have street smart friends.I have fat friends. I have chubby friends. I have athletic and I have skinny as a rail friends. I treat all of them equally and don't pass any judgment.

They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.

Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.

I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?

Just because your goals in life are diet and fitness related doesn't mean everyone's are.

I want to be a published, best-selling novelist and I'm working towards that. Are you less of a person because you're not? You shouldn't judge others' worth or self-worth based on what you choose for yourself. You have no idea what's going on in that person's life unless it's someone you know very well. And if someone has such low self-esteem that he or she doesn't even have the drive to take care of him or herself (if that's the case), does that deserve hatred or judgment? Or compassion?

I don't know if you were quoting me or the person I quoted, but let me clarify what I meant.

I didn't say anything about people's self-worth being less than mine, because they don't make the same choices as I do or don't nor did the person I quoted. He said, "They have the appearance of not caring about themselves" and this leads it being difficult from him to care. I was just simply stating I understand where he is coming from, but how does he know that the said person isn't already trying to take steps to better their lives. I can see having a non-caring attitude to someone who doesn't want to be helped, doesn't think they need to be helped, etc. But once again, things are not always as the seem.

I am sure some people who see me at first glance probably think I am a chunky person who eats McD's every day that ends in Y and sits on the couch in my spare time watching reruns of Friends. When the fact is I work out at least an hour every single day and for the most part watch everything I put in my mouth and try to make the healthier choice. I was simply trying to make the point things aren't always what they seem.

As far as does the person deserve hatred and judgment or compassion, I try my best not to judge people on first glance and put them in a stereotype. I think as humans, it happens, whether you like or not and whether you admit it or not. When you see someone, even if you don't have an automatic thought about them, you usually have some sort of feeling, such as anger, compassion, sadness, etc. If it's someone I do not know, they usually get compassion. Whatever problem they are going though I try to sympathize or empathize. If it's someone I do know, it depends. You can only help someone that wants to be helped. If the said person has become "toxic", meaning whatever their situation may be is starting to negatively impact me or those I love, I no longer associate with them. If that makes be a b!tch, so be it.

All that being said, I have friends that vary significantly in race, religion, ethnicity, etc. I have friends who are smokers, non-smokers, daily drinker, people who don't drink etc. i have book smart friends and I have street smart friends.I have fat friends. I have chubby friends. I have athletic and I have skinny as a rail friends. I treat all of them equally and don't pass any judgment.

I was responding to both of you and I stand by it.

You assume that because someone is out of shape, if that person isn't doing something to fix it, that person doesn't care about him or herself. Some people really and truly are not unhappy about being out of shape. To some people, enjoying life and "taking care of themselves" is something other than being fit.

You cannot look at a person you don't know and say, "You're fat, so you apparently don't care about yourself." You just don't know what that person's lifee goals are or whether weight is an issue to that person. Just because it is TO YOU.

There are a lot of people on this site whose specific goal is to build a lot of muscle and drop body fat. I want to be a healthy weight and lose my jiggle, but I have no interest in having a six-pack. Does that mean those other people care more about themselves than I care about myself? Nope. Just different goals.

And, again, if the person in question really and truly is overweight and not doing anything about it because he or she has low self-esteem, then that person needs compassion and not contempt.

I'm sure some do, as I'm sure some fat people hate skinny people and some white people hate black people and some smart people hate stupid people etc. Some people are *kitten*.. this shouldn't surprise people any more.

They have the appearance of not caring about themselves. That gets into all kinds of weird issues when you are constantly, everyday, are working so hard on restricting what you eat, exercising, and making good food choices. I, personally, just have a very hard time with respecting that. I don't think they are bad people and that they don't deserve the best things in life, they do. But, inside, I feel like they just don't really care. And, therefore, it's just difficult for me to try to care.

Call me what ever name you want. I'm being honest about how I feel about the situation. This doesn't mean that I'm mean or derogatory, or anything at all. I just have a hard time when they might bring up a medical issue, or talk about how it's hard to walk up the stairs and have to take the elevator instead. Or they take pills for this problem and that problem. And I just keep thinking, all that can disappear fairly quickly.

I see where you are coing from and I sort of agree with you. But in the same situation, how do you know that the said "fat" person hasn't started their journey to "caring about theirsleves" or just started working out and eating right that day?

Just because your goals in life are diet and fitness related doesn't mean everyone's are.

I want to be a published, best-selling novelist and I'm working towards that. Are you less of a person because you're not? You shouldn't judge others' worth or self-worth based on what you choose for yourself. You have no idea what's going on in that person's life unless it's someone you know very well. And if someone has such low self-esteem that he or she doesn't even have the drive to take care of him or herself (if that's the case), does that deserve hatred or judgment? Or compassion?

I don't know if you were quoting me or the person I quoted, but let me clarify what I meant.

I didn't say anything about people's self-worth being less than mine, because they don't make the same choices as I do or don't nor did the person I quoted. He said, "They have the appearance of not caring about themselves" and this leads it being difficult from him to care. I was just simply stating I understand where he is coming from, but how does he know that the said person isn't already trying to take steps to better their lives. I can see having a non-caring attitude to someone who doesn't want to be helped, doesn't think they need to be helped, etc. But once again, things are not always as the seem.

I am sure some people who see me at first glance probably think I am a chunky person who eats McD's every day that ends in Y and sits on the couch in my spare time watching reruns of Friends. When the fact is I work out at least an hour every single day and for the most part watch everything I put in my mouth and try to make the healthier choice. I was simply trying to make the point things aren't always what they seem.

As far as does the person deserve hatred and judgment or compassion, I try my best not to judge people on first glance and put them in a stereotype. I think as humans, it happens, whether you like or not and whether you admit it or not. When you see someone, even if you don't have an automatic thought about them, you usually have some sort of feeling, such as anger, compassion, sadness, etc. If it's someone I do not know, they usually get compassion. Whatever problem they are going though I try to sympathize or empathize. If it's someone I do know, it depends. You can only help someone that wants to be helped. If the said person has become "toxic", meaning whatever their situation may be is starting to negatively impact me or those I love, I no longer associate with them. If that makes be a b!tch, so be it.

All that being said, I have friends that vary significantly in race, religion, ethnicity, etc. I have friends who are smokers, non-smokers, daily drinker, people who don't drink etc. i have book smart friends and I have street smart friends.I have fat friends. I have chubby friends. I have athletic and I have skinny as a rail friends. I treat all of them equally and don't pass any judgment.

I was responding to both of you and I stand by it.

You assume that because someone is out of shape, if that person isn't doing something to fix it, that person doesn't care about him or herself. Some people really and truly are not unhappy about being out of shape. To some people, enjoying life and "taking care of themselves" is something other than being fit.

You cannot look at a person you don't know and say, "You're fat, so you apparently don't care about yourself." You just don't know what that person's lifee goals are or whether weight is an issue to that person. Just because it is TO YOU.

There are a lot of people on this site whose specific goal is to build a lot of muscle and drop body fat. I want to be a healthy weight and lose my jiggle, but I have no interest in having a six-pack. Does that mean those other people care more about themselves than I care about myself? Nope. Just different goals.

And, again, if the person in question really and truly is overweight and not doing anything about it because he or she has low self-esteem, then that person needs compassion and not contempt.

And I stand by mine.

Being a novelist cannot directly hurt or help your health. Being overweight and even underweight can in fact lead to a lot of health problems. Just as excessive smoking, excessive drinking, drugs, driving without a seatbelt, etc. So yes, being under/overweight could be viewed as "not caring about oneself". So can a lot of other things. I did not say it could be viewed as them being low of self worth or not as good as me. You even stated "I want to be at a HEALTHY weight and lose my jiggle". So, you are agreeing there is a such thing as healthy weight and unhealthy weight.

Did I say I would walk up to them, hand them a "you need Jesus" packet and give them a lecture. Nope.

Would I treat them any different than anybody else? No, I would not.

Would the thought of how their choices where negatively or positively impacting them cross my mind? Maybe, just because I have been in both the "fat" person's and the "smoker/alcoholic's" shoes. What they are doing is unhealthy.

Am I going to judge them and think that they are a worthless pile of poo? Nope and they may even become a new friend.

Would I treat them any different then? Nope, but if they asked for my opinion on the matter, I would give an honest to God answer.

I went to school with a girl that was really mean to me from 1st grade until we graduated high school. I saw her the following year in the grocery store. At that time I had lost about 60lbs since I graduated school, she was super nice to me and told me I looked great. A day or so later I told a mutual friend about her being so nice and she told me that the only reason she hated on me in school was because "i was a fat slob" in her eyes! I can't believe people are so judgmental!

Unfortunately though- that is high school. Sadly some people have never left that mentality

laughing honey I have relatives that do that, why would other people not do it also? It has gotten to the point where I am just as rude to those relatives as I can be now just to push buttons, and they are clueless as to the whole thing. I have learned to laugh at it.