Honest male answers and opinions wanted

have you ever just walked up to him while he was watching tv, got on your knees in from of him, unzipped him and just went at it???? that usually does the trick...if he turns you away, it wont be for very long!!!
works for me every time!!

Me too! Works EVERY time! Once he starts complaining about being tired.. I step in and make sure he isn't for long..

Do either of you ladies know anyone that has the same methods that live in california?

I am 39 and have been married for twenty years. I also have six children two of which are adults. First off, cheating or divorce is just shameful advice. My wife and I have been together since we were sixteen and having history together is awesome, even the hard times. Anyway, I love having sex with my wife but as I get older it matters more about relationship than just the act. Their is nothing more sexy than my wife being kind and attentive to me though out the day. (even though she is extremely attractive physically). Caring enough about your husband to really seek him out and help your marriage might be difficult but if you go to him humbly to talk and have a desire to change yourself, if nessecary, things will turn for the better.

He has high blood pressure and low testosterone.

His cardiovascular system is succumbing to the injury caused by our western diet (high fat and high carbs).

What he's experiencing is a physiological response to poor health that unknowingly leads to diminished sexual desire.

Put him on a (mostly) plant based diet that's low in fat and carbohydrates, along with testosterone therapy in some form or another, and watch EVERYTHING about him change for the better in 60 days.

Trust me...

http://www.peaktestosterone.com/

KCwebguy, you are consistently make claims that are unfounded.

How did you come to a diagnosis of hypertension and hormonal imbalance? I understand that a lifetime trying to convince yourself the 4.5 equals 6 can skew your perspective, but the clairvoyant assessment of a complete stranger is too much even for you.

FOOL:
1. a silly or stupid person; a person who lacks judgment or sense.
2. a person who has been tricked or deceived.

With so little background info, hard to give some really helpful advice, but... a few things to consider:

Has sex become a "weapon" or bargaining chip in the past?
Is he having some medical issues you don't know about?
Does he have someone else?
( remember, don't ask questions, you aren't prepared to hear the answer)
My best advice is at a neutral site, away from the house, just have a candid conversation about how you feel, how it makes you feel when he rejects you, ask what it is....

Good luck, hope the outcome is what you desired. But asking this board when you should be asking him isn't in my opinion the best solution.

Seems to me this is good, honest advice, and nobody else on this thread is being very realistic or helpful.

good advice indeed.

I want honest male answeres and opinions and if you want to be confidential to protect your manhood then great, but I need answers.

Been married a long time and my man is 49 - I am 40.... so yes, I may just be in my prime and with a dud. I get a lot of "I'm tired's" and "It's too soon's". Really? So sex is only when convenient for him, and it's like planning a calendar. Usually Friday nights but sometimes Saturday instead - never ever two nights in a row and not more than once a week. His choice, not mine.

Yes, we have kids; teens. AND while I may look forward to action because we will have the house to ourselves.... he would rather watch tv. We have the house to ourselves.... um, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is this really how it is when you men reach this age?

How do you approach the use of drugs? toys? or is this just a crush to your manhood? Seriously

I'm 5-7, brunette, curvy but not fat, and I think I am pretty - I really don't think it is the scenery that is turning him off. When I get his attention, I can keep it.

ALSO, I'm 40 - I've changed over the years. How can I tell him that he is doing it wrong and not hurt him?

OK, now that I am about to post... mock away with witty sarcasm but some real insight into your male psyches would be great.

Toys don't worry me in the slightest. Drugs... I could see smoking a joint together or something and going at it once in a while, but other than that... no thanks.

Get hubby off his butt and working out/ consider testosterone gel. Both will improve libido.

Just do this:

Sometimes I just want to be held.

That's okay. Sometimes I just wanna roll over and eat a sandwich.

Both of these made my day. lol

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Actually, he does have high blood pressure. Takes medication for it. And Metformin for diabetes. The diabetes is under control though.

Will have to set down and talk about the testosterone. Good ole country boys-MEN really don't like to have open and frank discussions in my experience.
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If he is diabetic, there is a very good chance his testosterone is low, even if he does have his diabetes under control. The two often go hand-in-hand. Low testosterone increases the risk of developing diabetes, and diabetics tend to have lower testosterone levels. Definitely worth testing to find out. If it's a matter of wants to but can't, it could very well be testosterone related. If it's a matter of can but doesn't want to, that's an entirely different issue.

Is there any chance he's getting what he needs somewhere else?

A lot of these suggestions are well intended but pointless… Toys? Sending the kids away? It won't work. Compare sex with food and someone who's just not hungry. You don't want eating to become a chore. No matter in what shape you cut the potato, it's still not appetizing. A binge-weekend? Forget it. At times I just don't want to think about food. I don't want to be confronted with it and I certainly don't want to talk about it!

This is going to sound harsh, but I will say it anyway since you wanted an honest opinion. The point is not to find out what he DOES NOT like about sex, the point is to find out what he does not like about having sex with YOU. How to find out? Just ask him. The problem with sex is that for sensitive men it's hard to answer that they DON'T like something… maybe it's something that you THINK he likes but in fact he finds a chore and is too afraid to tell you in order to not hurt your feelings. Sex is not the same as food, but there is some comparison. For me, even when I'm not hungry, there're always ONE or two foods that I can't resist. Ice cream for example, or chocolate.

Someone here said that sometimes he just wants to be held, and that's also true. If passion shrinks, intimacy often takes over. If you want passionate sex, you must be asking yourself whether you are willing to sacrifice your own desire in order to let your husband be the beast. Let him be selfish. Do not start complaining, or tell him he's wrong. You are! (from a man's standpoint). LET HIM BE IN CONTROL. If you establish that, things might get back to normal.