Ladies, How do I show my wife I love her?

I got married when I was a teenager and I learned very quickly that a marriage takes two. One person simply cannot do it alone. That husband was a good provider, but he thought he could keep me happy if he bought me things, no matter how despicable his behavior was. I made it 22 years, until the kids were grown, and escaped. Not bailed, escaped.

Two years later I remarried and although we've been together for 8 years, we are still on our honeymoon. Both he and I humor each other's every whim. My opinions count to each other and unless there is something we happen to feel strongly about, we give the other one their way all of the time. We both give 100%. Whenever we think something positive about each other, we tell each other....the goes on all day long. We joke with friends that we make them sick, but they all wish they had what we have.

I want a strong man, but I also want him to understand that I am a strong woman. I don't want him to stifle me, but I also don't want to stifle him. When it comes down to it, we're a team. We do have differences, but differences in opinions mean nothing. The fact that we always knows the other one loves us trumps everything, even during disagreements. We never tell each other no, but we also expect to be kept abreast of every decision that affects the other in any way and we always expect the other to make decisions that are good for the two of us, not just one. We trust each other to do that.

We NEVER say an ugly word or even a harsh word or tone of voice. We protect each other with all of our being, be it physically in a bad area or verbally with others. We never discuss the other's imperfections with anyone. We're both human and we accept that; neither of us are perfect. We completely look out for each other's best interest. We both will make huge sacrifices to make the other happy, but at the same time, neither of us will ask the other to sacrifice for us ever.

My husband and I have great communication and we love the feel of each others hand. We "pet", not saying sexually, each other all the time. We embrace often and one of us never leaves home without a loving hug and a kiss and a minute or two of intimacy....no quick pecks on the cheek and running out of the house. We both think the other is worth a few moments of our time before we leave. We revel in the blessing of each others love.

I have this problem with my husband. I can tell you what would make me happier:

The looks that say "I need you" or "I want you"
To have a compliment everyday, like, you look beautiful, dinner was amazing, you are a great wife, things like that.
The occasional sweet note, thinking of you, I love you, can't wait to hold you when I get home, miss you already, etc.
Touching, not necessarily sexual, but, caressing, like when she's cooking and you just walk up and put your arms around her, or the occasional hand hold, hand on the knee, etc.
I kiss and an I love you everyday, and not at certain times, randomly, just out of no where, then it doesn't seem like habit.
Gifts are pretty low on my list, but the occasional flower is nice.

Hope this helps.

EXACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Make her sammiches.
Do the dishes.
Bring her a mixed drink when she's watching her favorite TV program, then rub her feet.
Keep her happy in bed.
Listen when she speaks.
That is all.

(Yes, I'm lampooning certain other threads in this forum today!)

When women say "listen" what the hell are you talking about? I really think thats a woman's issue. I think if we stop talking in f**king code and beating around the bush, just be real and say what you think, then maybe, men wouldn't have to "listen". Come one people!

With 6 kids just help her out. I would be upset if my husband would put personal things on a public forum. I would next time talk to your Pastor, Priest etc for advice. There are many other things to do without making babies.

See her. As you would a new painting, not a piece of furniture...

This sounds sexist, and really old-fashioned, and I don't mean it to be either way (I'm a diehard tomboy myself). But over the years I've found that when the guy I love DOES things for me, i.e. laundry, dinner, tucks the kids in, cleans the bathroom... it takes such a huge load of stress off me and then I actually feel calm enough to be loving towards him. We're all so burdened by the daily tasks of life, and if someone helps lift those burdens a bit it's amazing how we open up to each other.

Also, compliments are so important. Women know that you find us pretty, sexy, sweet, etc. But we need to hear it sometimes.

And finally, for the ladies - both of the above things are true for men too - they need help w/ stuff to ease stress and they need compliments too. Just let 'em get those jars open and kill the spiders, so they don't feel less-than-manly.

Agree. Helping out is a big thing thing. Bringing home flowers without a reason. Back or foot rubs.

Hold her hand when you're doing something mundane like watching tv together.
Find ways to touch her often (I'm not talking about walking up and grabbing or smacking her *kitten* while she's cooking, I mean like touching her hair, her face, rubbing her arm)
Hug her for no reason. Hold her tight and make it last for several minutes.
Plan something special for just the two of you, like a picnic or a special dinner that YOU cook and clean up

Look around the house, see what needs to be done, and do it. I swear some guys think there is a magic fairy that just takes care of everything. Now, you may not be that guy. But if you look around and you can't see what needs to be done, ask her what you can do. Most wives have two full time jobs these days. First they work all day, then they are almost exclusively expected to manage the household. Yes, that is a generalization. And for those men who do not allow that to happen to their wives, my apologies.

But if you really want to show your wife you love her, it isn't the words you say or the flowers you buy or the gift cards you give her for massages and manicures, etc. She needs you to vacuum, dust, replace the toilet paper roll, give the kids a bath, clean the tub, and do some dishes. And then not act like you've done her a huge favor by doing so. It's your house too!

I appreciate that you read the bible and know that there's more to that chapter than "women submit to your husbands".