Food Diary CHEATERS!

It's not a matter of proven or perceived. The point pressica and I were making (at least, I think it's the point pressica was making. Can't speak for her, obviously) is that, sure, these problems exist. People may 'lie' or be less than accurate in logging what they eat... but instead of posting about it in a public board (even if just to vent) it may be better just to delete that person as a friend. Because in drawing attention to the negative, it's sort of created an ugliness here. Though I know it wasn't your intent, people have had their feelings hurt. Others have been put on the defensive. And, really, people shouldn't feel like that at MFP (I don't believe).

For many of us here, MFP has always (well, most of the time) been a really loving, supportive, happy place. It's one of the few boards I've ever joined that doesn't have trolls or ugliness or bad attitude everywhere you look. That's what draws- and keeps- people here, I believe. But it's one thing to vent about someone's behavior when it affects you in a negative way. This situation, though, doesn't affect or hurt ANYONE- other than the person who's fudging in their food diary. That person, by the way, possibly knows that this thread is about them by now and may be feeling targeted or offended. So whereas before nobody was hurt, no people ARE hurt. See what I'm saying? You're basically saying, "If you're hurt, you should look inwards and see what you're doing wrong." What I'm saying is that, people shouldn't HAVE to 'look inward' or 're-evaluate' what they're doing. We're each here on our own journey. Yes, along the way, I want to support others as they support me. But let's be frank, most people don't join MFP because they want to be a shoulder. They join because they have their own fitness/nutrition/health goals, and they want their own support. And how the path each of us decides to walk on that journey is, by and large, up to us. If I want to eat pizza for breakfast, I will- I don’t need to justify it to anyone. It is up to my friends to decide if they will support me or not support me. Just because my newsfeed says I’m under my calories for the day doesn’t mean I’m looking for attention or congrats- MFP does that automatically, without my say. People who don’t like the way I eat, or exercise, or think or speak are free to delete me from their friends list, or not add me in the first place.

I really am not trying to be negative here, nor attack you in any way. I’m just trying to explain that some people are feeling hurt right now. Others are offended. Some people have gone from public diaries to private, merely because now they’re afraid that others will read what they’ve been eating and make them feel bad about it.

That’s why I made my journal private in the first place- because someone PM’d me, commenting on what I’d had for lunch. I didn’t ask for their opinion about my eating habits, but I got it- and it stung. This thread, whether you’ve intended to or not, has affected a lot of people. So I think it’s important to reach out to those people and say please, don’t focus on the ugliness and the negativity. We all have common goals here. Many of us came here in the first place because we couldn’t find the support we needed in our real lives. We’ve made real connections, created very real bonds. THAT should be our focus. We need to work on improving our bodies, becoming healthier and happier people.

I’m just concerned because I don’t want anyone walking away after reading this thread feeling bad about themselves, or their habits. NONE of you owe me, or anyone else, an explanation. If I fall, I would like someone to give me a hand to get back up. I want to offer that hand, too- and a kick in the butt, if you feel you need it! Focus on your own goals. If someone upsets you, take that negative energy and put it into a really great work-out. That might be a more productive way of burning off that “ickiness”- instead of creating a thread that will only cause bad feelings in the long run. Again, I’m sure it wasn’t your intent at all. But hey, it’s happened and we have to acknowledge it.

Just my two cents, of course.

This may be some crazy skewed view I have, but I didn't find anything about this thread offensive at all until the last few posts. :ohwell:

Well, you two cents just became worth a million dollars.

I do apologize if I offended anyone; I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, and, while I did post this thread, my feeling were hurt too by those that did not take the time to think about what they said when they posted. I was definitely not expecting that! I have mulled over this issue for a few weeks now because I did not want to hurt anyone. But, as a member of this site, I should be able to reach out to others on the site, for support, opinions, CONSTRUCTIVE critism, because I am, by no means, perfect. I have admitted that SEVERAL times on this thread alone. But it is frustrating for me to see people lie. Period. Personal issue or not, I thought that's what this site was here for.

I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with. You have proven your point elloquently and so I thank you for that.

Again, I aplogize if I hurt anyone's feelings; I truly mean no harm.

I know you didn't mean any harm. I think that feelings were hurt because people read too much into it, attached their own issues to it. I also understand how some people would feel 'called out', if they behaved in a way you described (Even if you weren't talking about them) .

But, really, the initial post turned into something else entirely. I know that you couldn't have seen that coming when you posted in the first place. I also think you're a smart woman with good things to say. :flowerforyou:

The point I was making was that, feelings wound up hurt, period. And that makes me sad 'cause we're all on the same team. So I wanted to say something to get that out there, because we shouldn't be fighting eachother. We should be fighting.... the fat-monster!

I do think people need to look inward if they are looking for change-but that is the only part of your response I disagree with.

Forgot to respond to this part... d'oh! :bigsmile:

I TOTALLY agree people need to look inward if they're looking for change. DEEP inward. I had to figure out WHY I ate the way that I ate, in order to put a stop to it. I think what I mean about people don't need to 'look inward' is simply that they don't need to re-evaluate the way they eat/log calories just because we tell them to. They don't 'owe it' to us. They're entitled to feel how they feel.

But yes, absolutely! If you want to change your lifestyle and get healthy, there NEEDS to be a huge amount of soul-searching. Because otherwise, it's possible you'll lose weight but just gain it all back because you never learned how to deal with the issues that made you heavier in the first place.