Cheated on, and got through it?

I think it's to each their own. Some people can overcome it, others cannot. I for one, cannot.

Ugggh so sad you are not a sad panda for realz. Now, I am a sad panda...so sad.

ohh been cheated on before. Don't tolerate it or waste my time....cheaters are disposable to me.

Love always,

Sad Panda Lover.

I walked in on my ex wife having sex with another man .. I saw her for the true person she truly was. All the doubts and paranoia, all the me feeling guilty that I kept accusing her of cheating and she would deny it saying I was crazy.. All the thoughts of am I actually insane ? All that channeled through my fists that night..


I went on to beat that guys *kitten* buck naked form my bed room to the front lawn.. Those 15 minutes were a life time of therapy. I felt like I got my man hood back that night so many years ago.

To my knowledge, I've been cheated on once. I tried to forgive him but I found it impossible. I turned into the kind of girlfriend I never dreamed I'd ever be - super jealous, always suspicious, checking up on him. I didn't want to be that person any more so I did the only thing I could think of to stop it - I dumped him.

I don't believe in the saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" though. The love of my life confessed early on to having cheated in a prior relationship. He sincerely regrets it and I trust him not cheat on me. If he does, we're over...no matter how much I love him. I simply refuse to be that crazy person again.

The first time I had good solid proof my husband was cheating (not just a hunch, but proof), he finally confessed. It took time, but I truly forgave him and we moved on. So I thought. 8 months later I caught him with the same woman. That was all that I needed to end the relationship. Sorry, but once a cheater always a cheater. Walk.

I have told my husband from DAY 1, if he decided he wanted to be with someone else he better tell me. I would deal with it and it wouldnt be easy but, I would much rather he tell me and us move on from that, separated most likely, then to have him cheat on me. I told him just this: My dad cheated on my mom numerous times when they were together and when it finally ended, she was DEVASTATED to find this all out...and humiliated. And, i will NOT go thru that myself.

My husband cheated on his ex wife and I told him we could be together but, I would NOT stand for it!!

Cheating is forgivable but, not forgetable and we wouldnt stay together if that happened!! :-)

GOOD LUCK thru your situation!

Yes, I have been cheated on. It was after being married for 7 years to a man that I considered my hero. I have dealt with a lot in my life, but this was by far the hardest. I am a strong woman, but this absolutely almost killed me. I always said it was a deal breaker too, but it turned out not to be for me. Now I am two years out from the incident, still married, and believe I made the right choice. It has been VERY hard, but we have gotten through it and our marriage is strong.

My husband cheated on me in January with two different women. One he was having a "relationship" with. It came out in the beginning of February when girl#1 sent me a facebook message. It was very difficult for me. These women were quite larger and I was sure that it was because I had lost my weight. I was willing to work it out when I found out. Hell, I already knew. For weeks he wasn't acting right, hiding his phone, he just wouldn't admit it. He made me feel like a crazy person. When it finally came to light it was almost a relief, I wasn't insane. I was willing to work it out. The next day my girlfriend *who happens to be a mutual friend of girl #2* shows up to take me to sympathy taco bell. Here is girl#2 in the car and I am like WTF. She admits to me that she's also had one sexual encounter with my husband. I go bat**** crazy.

I kicked him out of our house immediatly. It actually got so heated the cops had to come mediate. He took a backpack of stuff and that night I packed a suitcase of the rest of his clothes and he came and got them. Because he had burned so many bridges he had to sleep at his work (the airport). After a week of cool down time I texted his phone. I had been called by his boss to inform me that he was eating basically what he could fend out of a machine (our airport is too small and only has one "higher end" restaurant) and hadn't showered. I texted him that he could come back to the house, have a hot meal, shower, and we could talk. I needed answers. He was hesitant to come over but he did. We calmly talked and was up all night. He wasn't doing the typical take me back I am sorry baby bull. He was just asking me to give him 6 months to prove to me that he could be a different person. I wanted to be with him, I have shared 5 years of my life with him at that point and so I told him we're married, We are either in this together or we aren't. He came clean that night that he was trying to spark back up with girl#1 out of desperation but immediately gave in to all my terms. The phone got shut off, he was going to sex addicts anon for porn issues, he was going to therapy for himself and we would go to couples therapy.

It has been a tough year but we are surviving through it almost better than before. It is funny, when I watch shows like cheaters I am still like AWW HELL NO SHE TOOK HIM BACK!? but I forget that when put into that situation it is more than what meets the eye. In therapy he explained to me it was always some sort of fantasy that in reality was a nightmare. He is still dealing with it on a personal level, as I am. I trust him however this takes time. We may not have internet at our home and he has decided to have a phone with no internet access but we are heading in a better direction everyday. I will not say our marriage has been perfect, but the man I fell in love with finally came back.

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You forgive them once, its license to keep doing it.

This. And for women who think their spouse doesn't or won't cheat again, he just found a better way to hid it. Or he will find a better way to hid it.

I was in denial about the first few times. He cried like a baby and I genuinely felt his regret. He did everything he could to make up for it... But he did it several more times, including WHILE I was in the hospital with our newborn.

Never again will that fly.

Deal breaker. I'm a very trusting person, especially with my husband. If he cheated on me, that total trust would be gone in a flash and I couldn't imagine living life in a constant state of suspicion.

I suggest a real therapist's office, not a Chit-Chat, Fun, and Games forum.

Cheated on after nearly 5 years -H.S. sweetheart. We didn't make it. I felt disrespected, disgusted, and I could NEVER EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN.I figured that there are TONS OF MEN WHO'D NEVER TREAT ME THAT WAY....so I moved on. His loss.

In my profession I saw a lot of this, and it can be devastating to someone. Devastating as in, 'totally ruining the life they had, their self esteem, and how they interact with people. "
People going through a break up can go through the stages of grief, too. Many get stuck in ' anger".

It CAN be overcome, but requires lots of couples therapy with a very good therapist. Both parties must make a commitment to repairing the relationship, and even then, it takes a long time to repair trust and it isn't pretty along the way. There's still lots of stuff you have to work through.

If the other party won't go, YOU go to therapy-- it's hard to make enough progress to have a new healthy relationship without it.

If someone out there is thinking of cheating because the 'spice" has gone out of their relationship, ask yourself if you would be willing to marry the person you want to cheat with, or if you would be willing to divorce due to it. If not, consider why not and ask yourself if you really want to do it.

When a married person who is also a father/mother cheats, it's even worse-- it's devastating to the family unit and the kids are collateral damage.

Good luck to anybody going though this. And no, I'm NOT a therapist.

It depends. On you, on him, on the circumstances. I used to think I could forgive anything but then my ex husband cheated and it turned out that I couldn't. Of course the fact that he said he wasn't sorry and he wanted to keep seeing her was part of the equation. The only thing I would say is to make sure you give it enough time and thought before making a decision. The last thing you want is to rush.

Thanks a lot corn63. Believe it or not, I'm a person with real feelings and I've been badly hurt. But no, I'm not a fruit loop or a troll. Keep moving....

Look. People suck. People do stupid things. People do mean things. People do things for no reason. The only thing you can control is your response to them. You can choose to allow them to run your life with their reckless abandon OR you can charge them to the game and move on.

Seriously, good luck. Life is tough enough without asshats, but y'know. They're everywhere.

+1