Would it be a deal breaker..

Nope. My fiance and I have very different ideas as far as fitness and diet.
He comes and goes, sometimes he will get in modes where he works out a lot and eats well.

I try not to judge and let him be. If his doctors ever express concern I will make certain to help him the best I can.

No.

if it is one of your core values..... you can't waiver You have to believe in something!!!!!!. But if you feel it is what it is about health/fitness then I am sure it will be fine

For myself you have to be in the neighborhood......if not we can't talk about community issues!!!!! Ya dig!?

well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.

OK. But I've been married for 26 years. I've only gotten healthy for the last 2. She has not, so now what do you say?

For me, not a deal breaker, but very disappointing, indeed.

Love is a verb it is action,doing. It is work not just a feeling. Feelings are fickle. Make a commitment or don't. If you make the commitment then remember your promise in good times and bad in sickness and in health. As tempting as it may look the grass is not greener somewhere else if just looks different and has its own set of issues to deal with.

"In sickness and in health"

Eating so much food that you become obese is typically not sickness. It's a choice. yes, there are some people predisposed with genetics, but they can still exercise self control and staying active.
"To honor and love" You love me? you honor me? Then do that by choosing to be alive and healthy in ways you can control. You can honor me by not digging your own grave with one extra sized "value meal" at a time. Please, how is that honor?

"Til death do us part?" what? immature death? death you brought on yourself because they chose to eat large amounts of unhealthy foods? sat in front of their computer or on the couch for hours at a time?

You bring kids into this world. Isn't it your duty, as a parent, to be there with your best effort? Putting fast food in front of them several times a week, having excess amounts of soda and junk food in the house, routine unhealthy meals. How is this doing your duty as a parent?

Do I sound harsh? absolutely. But I didn't bring 2 precious kids into this world only to leave them motherless before they're adults. I didn't marry my husband just to leave him crying at my grave before we're 40.

But most of all, I love myself and respect myself too much to cheat myself out of a long, happy and decent life. I'm not asking my husband to run marathons or hit the gym 7 days a week. I'm not asking him to give up bacon or rum. I Just want him to stay in a healthy range because I love him, honor him and cherish him.

I have made one too many choices that is leading me in that direction. and I need to honor my vows and my children and get back on the right track.

You're wrong. It is a sickness. A mental one. Just like any other addiction to drugs or the like. Addiction to food is real.

Lol, we've been married almost 40 years and always eaten differently. I can talk myself blue in the face or just deal and eat my way and let him eat his. Doesn't bother me anymore but I tease him all the time about how he's going to be old and fat and won't be able to run fast enough to get away when he makes one of his smart *kitten* remarks.

Currently I'm single, but being healthy and fit has become something that's really important to me, so I'm not sure how compatible a future SO and I would be if we both weren't active. I also want to have kids and want them to be active and healthy. Both partners being on the same page is important to me.

If by SO you mean spouse or a person you've made a lifetime commitment to, I don't see how this would be a deal breaker. Now, if you're talking about someone you're just dating, then perhaps that isn't the right person for you.

If by SO you mean spouse or a person you've made a lifetime commitment to, I don't see how this would be a deal breaker. Now, if you're talking about someone you're just dating, then perhaps that isn't the right person for you.

Exactly! You don't just ditch someone because YOU have changed your values even if they are for the better. Encourage your SO. Help them see how important changing for the positive is. But you don't say oh well you're no longer what I want, we aren't on the same page so see ya! If you can do that, you were never truly commited to that relationship anyway.

well No because you should know this going into a relationship so if you have a problem with it, then you should never have gotten serious.

OK. But I've been married for 26 years. I've only gotten healthy for the last 2. She has not, so now what do you say?

For me, not a deal breaker, but very disappointing, indeed.

What if she had been the one to choose a healthy lifestyle 4 years ago, or 6 years ago. Would you have been ready to make the changes? What if it takes her 28 years or 30 years to change her ways? Would you have been ready at some other point in time that would be more coincidental with her decision? Likely not. You were ready when you were ready. She probably wasn't disappointed in you when you were living an unhealthy lifestyle. You shouldn't be disappointed in her because she's not ready to change just because you are. That's conditional love and really has no place in marriage IMO. The more you love her and support her just for being her, the more likely she'll feel able to step out of her own comfort zone. But even if she is never ready... that's what the commitment is for.

That's a very narrow minded view you have. No doubt he just wants them to have a healthy happy future because he really loves her. It IS disappointing when your SO is not willing to fight for it to. In my case my SO used to complain about my inactive lifestyle, I have chronic fatigue and pain syndrome but I've really had to fight to get fit and active and lose the weight... I've done it through major liver surgery, depression, anxiety, loads of other problems. Why? Mostly for us, and so we have that nice healthy life together,

He's gone the opposite way and now is not active and is unhealthy. Considering he made it obvious he wasn't happy with my previous lifestyle and he said he wanted a happy healthy future together, and I've fought for it and he won't.... Yes I'm very very disappointed. He knows as much as I do its difficult when your going in different I directions.

You don't know the full picture of this man's marriage, it could be similar to me and my partner, don't judge so harshly. I know exactly where he's coming from. Disappointing.

I love my partner to death, but at a time where I'm looking to the future and having kids, if hen doesn't really get with the programme it won't work. Yes I love him, I love his kids, more than you'll ever know. That is why I do want this for us.... Love is not standing by and watching someone sabotage themselves. Part of a loving relationship is kicking each other up the *kitten* when needed. If I ever started slipping away back I'd expect him to talk to me about it, nor ignore it blissfully because he loves me I don't see that as very loving! X

Just my 2 cents.

Not really. He would have to be supportive of me and my lifestyle, but he could do whatever he want. It's a personal choice and it would not affect me in terms of having a relationship with someone.

Definitely a deal breaker. It's such a big part of my life that I just can't see myself with a guy who isn't the same. Most of the guys I've dated didn't really have healthy lifestyles and I tried to look past it. My current relationship has been the happiest and it has a great deal to do with our lifestyles meshing. Since we are both very into bodybuilding and healthy foods, everything just comes easier. We can go to the gym together and I don't have to worry about my food options when I'm always staying at his place because we eat the same stuff. It's not about the physical appearance as much as it is about just the lifestyle. Besides my bf, all the previous guys were not in good shape and it never bothered me.

I think when you are in a relationship with someone... they have to share the same health and fitness goals... because it does help bond you as a couple

if you are not getting support and supporting each other in getting healthy and happy I think it will cause problems in the relationship

Nope, you dont get a SO based on their lifestyle

Nope. So long as they weren't pressuring me to do what they do then i'm good.