So, are you seeing anyone?

chauncyrenayCHANGED
chauncyrenayCHANGED Posts: 788 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have been toying with the idea of writing this as a more extensive blog, but wanted to get some feedback from the general public.

Whenever I go back home or visit someone I haven’t seen in a while, the question most often asked is, “So, are you seeing anyone?” It makes me cringe. The question is annoying for a number of reasons, but the main one is – how is my relationship status anyone’s business? If I wanted that person to know, wouldn’t I have told them?

If someone really wanted to get a brief synopsis of the quality of my life, wouldn’t a more appropriate question be, “What are you doing for fun these days?,” or “How is school coming along?,” or “What’s new?.”

Singles, swingers, serial daters & the committed, how do you feel about this question?

Thx!
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Replies

  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    You aren't seeing anyone...are you?
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    It doesn't bother me. People are just making conversation.
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    Is that a touchy subject for you?
    When I was single I got asked that a lot, specially by my married friends who wanted details. :wink:
  • Ruger2506
    Ruger2506 Posts: 309 Member
    Maybe they are just asking cause they want to stick it in.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    You are single....we should hook up! :love: :flowerforyou:
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    dc465b38-22a8-4462-9e13-c96fe7a92861.jpg
  • _JR_
    _JR_ Posts: 830 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have MY baby?" :grumble:

    Fixed that for you. :wink:
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Just say, "I'm seeing a LOT of someones." And then wink.

    I did this when my ex husband said very accusingly after he left me (for another woman), "I KNOW you have a boyfriend."

    I said, "Oh honey, I don't have a boyfriend. I have a LOT of boyfriends."

    Leaves them speechless. :drinker:
  • NoMoreFlubbering
    NoMoreFlubbering Posts: 95 Member
    It's just people curious about how your life is moving forward. Now that I'm married, I always get asked when we're going to have kids. It drives me batty too, but I grin and bear it because I know they're just wondering how life is going.
  • Growtinymusclesgrow
    Growtinymusclesgrow Posts: 152 Member
    I tell everyone that I don't have time to see anyone since most of my time is already spent feeding my midget porn and meth addiction..

    That tends to get them quite pretty quick!
  • totallydevious
    totallydevious Posts: 309 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    I get this too! So frustrating considering I'm only 23 but I don't get that question a lot but what I do get is, "when are you going to find a man" like really? Dx
  • supahstar71
    supahstar71 Posts: 926 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have MY baby?" :grumble:

    Fixed that for you. :wink:


    Next week work for you? :wink:






    TotallyDevious...try I'm 41 and I've gotten the question since my mid20s. :grumble:
  • xxloveiswarr
    xxloveiswarr Posts: 124
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    i'll second this!!!
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    I used to get that a lot too & now I have 2 it's like "oh, you aren't having anymore, are you?"
  • Growtinymusclesgrow
    Growtinymusclesgrow Posts: 152 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    nice legs supa...
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
    Yea sometimes that can really bug me only because I don't like the when are you having a baby question! All I know is I don't want people to know when I am having a baby until I decide to have a baby. Not that they need to know that we are trying and then they really know you are getting down in the bedroom LOL. Then again that could put some disturbing images in their minds :devil: HEHEHEHE!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
    Just say, "I'm seeing a LOT of someones." And then wink.

    I did this when my ex husband said very accusingly after he left me (for another woman), "I KNOW you have a boyfriend."

    I said, "Oh honey, I don't have a boyfriend. I have a LOT of boyfriends."

    Leaves them speechless. :drinker:

    Can I be one of the many?
  • strawberrytoast
    strawberrytoast Posts: 711 Member
    Usually people in relationships ask this question. I think its cos they are bored and its exciting to hear of someone going out with someone new or dating people. People in relationships sometimes miss this.
  • Litlbeast
    Litlbeast Posts: 340 Member
    It's just the opposite for me; I seriously think my folks wish I'd become a lonely cat-lady and never date again. (3 kids, never been married, boyfriend's 15 yrs younger than me). They'll ask about anything except my relationship. ANYTHING.

    "So how's your jade plant doing any new sprouts yet?" +_+
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    I'm single by choice and yeah answering that question would kinda irk me because like you say is there no other way to evaluate the success of my life? I heard somewhere that a survey of young girls showed that marriage is no longer their number one way of determining if they are successful or not. I think the top answer was being happy but I'm not sure.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
    Just say, "I'm seeing a LOT of someones." And then wink.

    I did this when my ex husband said very accusingly after he left me (for another woman), "I KNOW you have a boyfriend."

    I said, "Oh honey, I don't have a boyfriend. I have a LOT of boyfriends."

    Leaves them speechless. :drinker:

    Can I be one of the many?

    Awwww- I'm remarried now. Not sure how that happened.

    But now I'm getting the "When are you guys going to have another baby" questions. Um. Uh. What. The. F**k are you talking about? This baby making factory is closed. My new MIL still hasn't accepted that. I have to tell her to stay out of my uterus. And that's how I answer THAT question:" Stay out of my uterus. It's a hot mess up there." Then I wiggle my eyebrows. It's the right mix of defensiveness, hostility, and creepy. You guys should try it.
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    Doesn't bother me .. of course.. I'm older now 46 - divorced and have a grown son. Sometimes people "back home" just want you to be like them .. married / involved. I think most don't know what to ask and hoping you're seeing someone. Maybe they know someone that is interested in you .. maybe they're interested in you.

    I usually get that question not from my friends back home .. but usually when someone is interested in me and is feeling out the situation. My friends know I would tell them if I was seeing anyone .. or in some cases .. they wonder if I'm still single LOL.

    I wouldn't read too much into it. If it bothers you .. be blunt and say .. umm.. I prefer to keep that information to myself. Wait until I'm ready to tell you.
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    I wish guys would ask this before they hit on me LOL.
    Besides that, yeah I wish it wasn't one of the first things that people in general asked.
  • yessicasue
    yessicasue Posts: 10 Member
    I think people mean well by the question, but I totally get annoyed by it too sometimes. I just say "Oh, nobody special" and change the subject if I'm not in the mood to talk about it...which I'm usually not. Dating is exhausting.
  • aubreydarko
    aubreydarko Posts: 18
    I don't get the "are you seeing anyone" question, but I am asked if I am dating anyone when I come home, my aunts are constantly telling me to go on eharmony or match.com and I roll my eyes because I am fine being a single 23 year old woman... I've never been in a relationship before....

    I think things change in general when you've lost a significant amount of weight, you transition from being "one of the guys" to a potential partner with guys, some of your old girlfriends may see you as a threat because not only are you sweet, funny, charming and likeable, but now you have a great body to go along with that personality, As a bigger girl for half of my life, I developed a big personality.
  • nikinyx6
    nikinyx6 Posts: 772 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    This

    11 years now with my SO...people seem to REALLY want us to procreate...
  • loriaqui
    loriaqui Posts: 55 Member
    I don't really get the 'seeing someone' question as much as the 'when are you gonna start seeing someone'. (my family) Or (from men) 'why aren't you taken?' My answer is pretty much the same...have you seen the type of men that are my age?

    I know there are some good ones out there...but I haven't located many...
  • atsteele
    atsteele Posts: 1,358 Member
    I always get "when are you going to have a baby?" :grumble:

    I used to get that a lot too & now I have 2 it's like "oh, you aren't having anymore, are you?"

    Yep. I've been hearing this since Baby No. 3. LOL
  • evereadysmile
    evereadysmile Posts: 137
    Just say, "I'm seeing a LOT of someones." And then wink.

    This. Even when it isn't true. People stop asking pretty quickly.

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