Can you still be best friend with your ex after a break up?

Depends whether or not you are better friends or lovers and that takes time to figure out . I am friends with 3 of my exes that all were there for me at a low point in my life, One was there when my brother died and the other thawed out my frozen heart and taught me that love is not a stupid emotion. The 3rd was there 8 years ago when my longtime and current boyfriend broke up with me and wasn't speaking to me for several months. The last went from friends to more and I missed it completely and went running back to my boyfriend when he expressed interest. But he is still the one person who gets everything about me and likes me even with all my quirks. I would not ever want to lose touch with him and I still love him which makes it hard on the boyfriend. He says he wants me to stop talking to him and since he is out on a boat somewhere near Japan with no cellphone or Wi-Fi for a year it's likely he will get his wish for a year at least.. My point is some friends are always something more and some relationships grow into friendships. I adore my exes, they were there for me when it mattered most and they will always be friends. Just be careful not to lead him on if you are not interested .

Absolutely you can! I am still friends with a few of my exes and there are no issues. It obviously depends on the person and your current relationship when they find out that you are still friends with your ex. A lot of it may be due to insecurities as they are not sure if you would hook up with the person and not feel remorse because its not like your hooking up with someone random but a trusted friend..

It works for some people, not for others... Really depends on the people, why the break-up, etc... I have a child with my ex-husband. We are "friendly" in our contact - cordial, civil, respectful. However, he is one of those who will take advantage and try to worm his way back in whenever his current situation is not to his liking. So I maintain a strong degree of aloofness and keep my guard up at all times, stay aware of his manipulations... He tries to get all "best friend" on me, but I am not "friends" with people I cannot trust! And I find it very difficult to be friends with a guy who clearly wants more, and it is usually best to maintain distance in those situations!

I would like to read this whole thread later, as I am currently involved in a messy "second breakup" with my ex. We dated for close to 4 years, lived together for 6 months, broke up last December and he moved out. We almost immediately began having ex-sex and admitted that we still loved each other, but there wasn't a way to make it work unless he got his isht together (which is never going to happen, because I already waited 4 years for him to do so). We remained very good friends, talking or texting almost everyday mostly just to say hello or to fill each other in on anything particularly bad/good that happened, and hanging out once or twice a week.

This week, totally out of the blue, he told me that he's done and doesn't want to be friends anymore, and that he thinks it would be good if we didn't talk or see each other for awhile because it's time to move on. I agree that it is time to move on (I would like to find someone to spend the rest of my life with), but the fact that he laid this on me so suddenly, in a really harsh and mean way, and has cut off ALL contact has brought up all of the icky emotions and sadness I went through when we broke up almost a year ago, and it hurts. A lot.

I can't imagine not having him as one of my best friends. I think (I hope) that maybe after time passes, maybe a few months or so, we'll be able to resume our friendship, but I'm really not sure. What I DO know is I've been holding back from starting any new relationships because of the feelings I still had for him, and I'm sure he's in the same situation, and that's not fair to either one of us.

I would say no---you can't truly get over someone until you give yourself space + time. If you stay friends, you are prolonging the hurt. Clean breaks are the way to go in my opinion---or friendship after a long length of time apart from one another. But I can't speak about you--this is just my experience.

No. Absolutely not.

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. Your ex is an ex for a reason and that baggage should be dropped immediately or you run the risk of jeopardizing any new relationships.

No.

(I'm in very, very rare instances it might work... but it never has for me)

Personally, I think it's silly to stay friends. If you have children together, it is best to be friendly, but friends, best friends, not so much.

If you were together for a significant length of time and with significant depth, then best friends is not going to be anything but convoluted initially. To not be carrying excess baggage (we all carry some) time apart is needed. When being friends with them is not an issue between a couple, it's the same time it doesn't matter to have the friendship either.

It's a self-fulfilling situation to not be friends either. Of course, like everyone, this is opinion, but with billions of people on the planet to have for friends, why would you potentially inhibit future relationships by being stuck in past ones?

I don't know. I have many friends now that I've dated in the past. We're all grown up now, married or divorced, children or cats. And we all get along well, and can speak as often or as rarely as we want.

That being said... it really depends. If I was living with someone, with them for years, ready to marry them... and then it fell through? I might be a bit raw about things. Depending on the note it ended in (positive versus negative) I'd be willing to try friendship, but it might be strained and distant at first. I agree with those who say to give it a bit of time.

Absolutely. My ex is my best friend. We don't talk everyday or anything, but next to my husband, he is the one person that I would trust my life to. Besides my husband, he is the one person who knows me better than I know myself. Just because you know it's not going to work between you, that doesn't mean he can't be in your life. But it takes communication, and being honest with each other. It is a two way street, and he has to be able to accept the fact that you are friends and nothing more. I still love my ex, but I am not in love with him. It is a different love than when we were together. Hope this helps :flowerforyou:

my hubby was very threatened by x boyfriends in my life. One X My husband and I attended his wedding and my friend's mother kept telling me she wished I was marrying him (in front of my hubby). So, out of respect and love for my husband, I gave up on a couple x's that I had. They were not my best friends anyway. My husband is. I don't think if you do meet the right one, he would want you to be picturing you having sex with someone else. I can understand that.