the fake 'I'm so fat' comments

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  • fun_b
    fun_b Posts: 199 Member
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    I have a friend who is thin and I have no issues when she grumbles to me about having a fat day as I can relate. But I know she is being genuine and isn't doing it to try get compliments or trying to make me feel bad for being bigger. I'm not saying that you can't complain about being fat if you are thin. I just can't understand someone going over to a group and saying as loudly as possible 'OMG I am so fat' and they they respond 'Are you crazy you look amazing' and giving a coy smile and saying 'Oh do you think so? You're so Sweet' in a fake way. I can give more examples but sometimes you need to witness the situation/know the person to see that they are being fake. I am only saying that I find it annoying not that I hate the person or anything.
  • bradphil87
    bradphil87 Posts: 617 Member
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    Sometimes people will tell me I look great and in my head I'm thinking "I've got a long way to go and I'm not pleased with my physical appearance.) it's not a "fake" compliment fishing type thing....it's how I really feel. Perhaps just because you think someone looks great or good or whatever, doesn't mean that they think they do. Just something to think about....
  • CasablancasTX
    CasablancasTX Posts: 108
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    These are the same women who take pictures of themselves in their bathroom mirror and post them on Facebook so people will say, 'you're so pretty.' Just trying to get attention. Ignore them.
  • WillUAre
    WillUAre Posts: 81 Member
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    Thank you for reminding people.
  • Verity1111
    Verity1111 Posts: 3,309 Member
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    I wonder if anyone ever thought that these men and women need the attention because they are dangerously self conscious of their-selves and it is what keeps them going sometimes, just to hear a compliment once in a while? I don't think it is right to judge people when you don't know if it is fake or not. I truly felt fat and used to say it and my friend would get mad, but I did not see her as fat even if she is bigger than I was. Personally, the word "fat" to me is something applied to ugly people and someone can be "big" or "overweight" to me without me thinking they are fat, but that is just me.
  • bufger
    bufger Posts: 763 Member
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    I'd just say 'yeah you are packing a few extra lbs!' that'd stop her from doing it for attention in future
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    I'd just say 'yeah you are packing a few extra lbs!' that'd stop her from doing it for attention in future
    These kinds of answers (the majority of this thread contains them) really bother me. What if this person really does have low self esteem and really views themself as fat? Does belittling others really make you feel better about yourself? How is it okay to tear down someone like that?
  • Amo_Angelus
    Amo_Angelus Posts: 604 Member
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    Does anyone else get annoyed with thin women who talk about how fat they are all the time? I am not talking about the insecure type who feel they are fat and have body issues. I am referring to women who know they have an amazing figure, like to show it off and are very aware that they look good. I know someone like this and it really annoys me when she will come up with a random 'Oh I'm so fat' when she knows there is a group of people (mostly bigger people) around and someone will say 'Noooo! you have an amazing figure' or 'Don't be ridiculous you are stunning'. I wouldn't mind if I thought it was genuine but it is so obvious that she is just after compliments. I know there are a lot of people with genuine body issues but I know this person isn't one of them.
    I turn around, smile sweetly at them and respond with "You have gained a fair bit recently, have you thought about dieting?" Continue to smile sweetly and watch as they stop fishing for compliments, turn on you and start ranting, then shrug and respond with the fact that they brought it up. You wouldn't have said anything otherwise.

    Yes, I am a *****. I don't care.

    Of course, if it's genuine insecurity it's different, but you can really tell who the attention fishers are.
  • bufger
    bufger Posts: 763 Member
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    I'd just say 'yeah you are packing a few extra lbs!' that'd stop her from doing it for attention in future
    These kinds of answers (the majority of this thread contains them) really bother me. What if this person really does have low self esteem and really views themself as fat? Does belittling others really make you feel better about yourself? How is it okay to tear down someone like that?

    Do you think they consider the effect their comments have on the overweight people they are patronising by loudly stating they believe they are fat? no, probably not. I try to stop protecting other peoples feelings the minute I can see they're not considerate of people around them.

    Its like in school. I wouldnt consider the bullies deep rooted problems causing them to pound on the overweight kid. I'd instead do my best to show them up and disarm them infront of as many people as possible, whether thats with a taste of their own medicine or by wit. Some people act and others analyse (i've always found the acting route more effective).
  • littleandysmom
    littleandysmom Posts: 173 Member
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    Maybe someone already said this but different people have difference ideas about what is fat for them. I was fat when I joined MFP and I was 130 and 5'4". To someone else that might seem crazy because that might be their goal not their starting point. Sometimes I think there is more genuine support for people who have a whole lot to lose numbers-wise. Losing weight and NSV are just as meaningful to the individual whether you have 10 or 200 pounds to lose. It seems as the number to lose gets smaller people just don't think it's as important to offer encouragement. I understand people don't want to encourage eating disorders, but someone say my height ( 5'4") is perfectly healthy at 115. When you look at it that way I hope you can see how 130 is fat for some of us.

    I don't think it is fair to say that someone seeking support or opinions about their weight is instantly trolling for compliments, a b!+<#, have insecurities, or an eating disorder. I hope this makes sense and doesn't seem petty or insensitive. For the record I'm not saying I don't get support -I do. I'm just saying it's disheartening to read threads like this when so many assume people who don't have a lot to lose don't have goals or that subtle changes (both good and bad) aren't as important to us.

    ETA just because someone is saying something about their weight doesn't mean they are talking about you. If someone says something like "I'm hungry" do you instantly think "what about me don't you think I might be hungry too?!!" Probably not so why assume someone is talking (or thinking) about you while expressing a personal feeling?

    Agree!

    Getting older I've noticed how easy it is to accumulate belly fat and even though I might not be overweight by others standards, it became depressing....which just led to more eating.

    I can see how these comments would be annoying. Although since we are unable to walk in someone else's shoes....it might be better to live by the golden rule. Tends to make life less stressful! :smile:
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
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    I'd just say 'yeah you are packing a few extra lbs!' that'd stop her from doing it for attention in future
    These kinds of answers (the majority of this thread contains them) really bother me. What if this person really does have low self esteem and really views themself as fat? Does belittling others really make you feel better about yourself? How is it okay to tear down someone like that?

    Do you think they consider the effect their comments have on the overweight people they are patronising by loudly stating they believe they are fat? no, probably not. I try to stop protecting other peoples feelings the minute I can see they're not considerate of people around them.

    Its like in school. I wouldnt consider the bullies deep rooted problems causing them to pound on the overweight kid. I'd instead do my best to show them up and disarm them infront of as many people as possible, whether thats with a taste of their own medicine or by wit. Some people act and others analyse (i've always found the acting route more effective).
    How on earth is complaining about their own body issue patronizing you? Project much? Guess what, there's people bigger and fatter than you. That means you should be belittled if you dare to feel bad about yourself and made to feel worse.
  • davery1985
    davery1985 Posts: 142 Member
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    To be honest, there have been girls at my work say that they are fat when they are about a size 6 or 8. If they say this i normally just tell them they are being ridiculous!! They do look lovely to me and id be happy to have a body like theirs. It does upset me sometimes as im alot bigger than those girls, but hey what can you do. They will always keep saying these things as i dont think anyone deep dwwn is happy with how they look. Maybe they fish for compliments so they can try and accept who they are (even if we think they are thin, they pobably see different)
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    I'd just say 'yeah you are packing a few extra lbs!' that'd stop her from doing it for attention in future
    These kinds of answers (the majority of this thread contains them) really bother me. What if this person really does have low self esteem and really views themself as fat? Does belittling others really make you feel better about yourself? How is it okay to tear down someone like that?

    Do you think they consider the effect their comments have on the overweight people they are patronising by loudly stating they believe they are fat? no, probably not. I try to stop protecting other peoples feelings the minute I can see they're not considerate of people around them.

    Its like in school. I wouldnt consider the bullies deep rooted problems causing them to pound on the overweight kid. I'd instead do my best to show them up and disarm them infront of as many people as possible, whether thats with a taste of their own medicine or by wit. Some people act and others analyse (i've always found the acting route more effective).
    How on earth is complaining about their own body issue patronizing you? Project much? Guess what, there's people bigger and fatter than you. That means you should be belittled if you dare to feel bad about yourself and made to feel worse.

    TOTALLY AGREE with this comment. This is just another take on the skinny bashing thread where all the overweight people suggest that skinny girls are snobs and in love with themselves. There are bigger people than you, there are smaller people, find something else to be annoyed about!
  • Susanthecatwhisperer
    Susanthecatwhisperer Posts: 141 Member
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    Get some pamphlets about eating disorders, hand her one, and tell her to get help. :)
  • jcstanton
    jcstanton Posts: 1,849 Member
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    It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.

    This.

    If they were really that self-conscious about their body, they wouldn't wear revealing clothing. Anyone I've ever met, who has genuine negative body image issues, will wear the least revealing clothing they can find. Also, they wouldn't flaunt themselves at the opposite sex because they wouldn't have the confidence to do so. These are the kind of people she's talking about. I know what the OP is saying. I've met them. My SIL is one of them. She'll complain all the time about how "fat" she is (at 5'9" and about 120lbs), but, apparently it doesn't bother her enough to make her workout or quit eating junk food. Not to mention she loves wearing revealing clothing.
  • Ladyiianae
    Ladyiianae Posts: 271 Member
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    I always say, 'if you think you're so fat, then what must you think of me?' Normally shuts them up,

    HAHA! THIS! TOTALLY going to use it!
  • saktii2323
    saktii2323 Posts: 27 Member
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    I say worry about yourself and not what the other person is doing.
    Heck, when I was 118 lbs I thought I was fat. Ditto for 135, 150, 175, AND 200 lbs. Funny, that.
    If you should be annoyed by anything, it should be at a society that tells women that they should base their worth on how they look.
  • abbylg1983
    abbylg1983 Posts: 177 Member
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    It's probably not fake. Just because they are thinner than you does not mean they don't legitimately have low self esteem.

    This.

    If they were really that self-conscious about their body, they wouldn't wear revealing clothing. Anyone I've ever met, who has genuine negative body image issues, will wear the least revealing clothing they can find. Also, they wouldn't flaunt themselves at the opposite sex because they wouldn't have the confidence to do so. These are the kind of people she's talking about. I know what the OP is saying. I've met them. My SIL is one of them. She'll complain all the time about how "fat" she is (at 5'9" and about 120lbs), but, apparently it doesn't bother her enough to make her workout or quit eating junk food. Not to mention she loves wearing revealing clothing.

    Well, she is probably not self conscious about her body, per se. Maybe she thinks she has a great body. But someone who feels the need to hear how great their body is from other people, to the point where they will blatantly fish for compliments, does not have a healthy self esteem. Maybe your SIL hates everything about herself except for her body, which is why she wears revealing clothes and bask in the compliments of other people, telling herself, I may hate my job, I may feel stupid most days, I may suspect my husband is banging his assistant, but at least I have a killer body. At that point, mocking her or insulting her appearance to get her to shut up is probably doing more harm than good.

    For all those who reply that they tell their friend, yeah, you have gained weight, have you thought of exercising, that's a little over the top. I get it, nothing is more annoying than someone whining about something that is clearly not the problem, but if you don't want to play their games, just ignore them. Change the subject. If your size 0 friend who regularly wears halter tops and short skirts whines about how fat she is to you, and you never reply, she'll eventually stop. No need to suggest she go on a diet or workout to shame her into never talking about it to you again.
  • MrsBlobs
    MrsBlobs Posts: 310 Member
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    I get a bit stumped and lost for words when this happens to me, I usually say something along the lines of 'No, you look lovely' or whatever it is they are wanting me to say however, I do have a moment where I'm wondering - why they are saying it to me? I am quite clearly very overweight and most people who know me know that I don't like it - I don't let it govern me but, if I woke up 3 stone (42lbs) lighter one morning I most definitely wouldn't complain.
    Why is this person standing in front of me complaining that they are fat when a) they aren't and b) I most definitely am. What do they want from me..?

    I think it's akin to going up to someone with a broken leg and complaining about your stubbed toe.
  • annehart00
    annehart00 Posts: 42
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    So late to this conversation... I normally don't show that I mind when thin girls complain about being fat. I figure my "issue" with it is based out of my own insecurities.

    That being said, I had a "friend" in High School that seemed to say it an effort to make me feel bad about myself, especially after I had lost quite a bit of weight. She once asked to borrow a pair of pants after a sleep over. I had two clean options, older, baggy jeans in short or CK, smaller jeans in regular. She was taller and thinner than me but chose the short, baggy ones and then all day complained about how they were sooooo big for her. She was insecure despite being thin and seemed to need to make me feel bad about myself so that she could feel better. Those types of girls annoy me when they complain about being "fat".

    The other ones, I figure are in the same boat as me despite the size discrepancy. I feel bad for them because they can't enjoy their thinness.

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