Embarrassed for Trying to Lose Weight

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SunnyLuc87
SunnyLuc87 Posts: 60
in Motivation and Support
I am just wondering if I am alone in this. I have been keeping the fact that I am on a mission to lose 87 lbs and finally reach what I consider to be my ideal weight to myself, aside from telling a few close family members and one friend. I am definitely obese and it should be a good thing that I am trying to reach a healthy weight, but in the past I have gotten some annoying mixed reactions including:

Unsolicited advice from people who don't need to be giving it. (ie "all you have to do is stop eating after 7 and don't drink soda." or "I lost 50 pounds and all I did was give up junk food and work out once in a while. You should do that and you'll lose weight!" Really? That's all you did? May I please have your metabolism?!?!)

Comments that I am fine the way I am (50 pounds overweight) and that I am not fat and do not need to be on a diet. (What!?)

"You're about the same size as me and I'm healthy" type comments from people half my size (Are you kidding me?)

Comments like "You can have just a little bit of (insert diet-disaster-food/drink here). A little bit won't hurt."

Etc, etc...

I also don't want to tell everyone and then fail and have that embarrassment because I've done THAT before.

So my main question is just this: Has anyone else ever felt embarrassed to be on a diet or that you wanted to hide it?
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Replies

  • branson101
    branson101 Posts: 173 Member
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    I've only told my immediate family that I live with. It's no one else's business. I have a lot of overweight relatives and co-workers that would see it as me offending them if I mention that I am on a diet.
  • Hmrjmr1
    Hmrjmr1 Posts: 1,106 Member
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    I didn't tell anyone I was losing weight until they noticed it. For many of the same reasons. For your to be successful it all has to be about what you want yourself to be. Once it starts to show you'll still get the clowns but more folks will support you than deride you or offer stupid advice. Most will be asking how you're doing it. Get er done kiddo.
  • Graceious1
    Graceious1 Posts: 716 Member
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    I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.
  • sunnyside1213
    sunnyside1213 Posts: 1,205 Member
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    You have already lost 16 pounds. That is great. Ignore everything the unsupportive people say. Don't tell them anything. It is your journey to being healthy and fit. Looking better is just a wonderful benefit. Friend people on the site. They are on the same journey and will have your back. Remember, it's not a diet. Its a life style.
  • jmc0806
    jmc0806 Posts: 1,444 Member
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    I wasn't really embarrassed to be on it but I didn't really tell anyone for the first month just in case I didn't follow through with it (happened in the past). After a month though I didn't care who knew
  • skelley331
    skelley331 Posts: 38 Member
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    first of all you should never be embarrassed for wanting to be healthy and this journey is for you and no one else, please who tell these things are not your true friends. I quit smoking 12 yrs ago and i just turned 57 today but i gained 50 plus lbs and i lost all but 9lbs in the last year and i didn't bother telling anyone what i was doing because it was what i wanted to do for myself, i feel great, yes i had my ups and downs but just jumped back on plan and this past june i went to the Metabolic Research Center for Weight loss and signed up and OMG they are wonderful and i've lost my last 32 lbs with their help. So please do not listen to them, listen to your heart and become healthy. There is alot of supporters on MFP!!
  • 45taylor
    45taylor Posts: 21 Member
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    Be proud that you r taking charge of your health!!! I found myself to be way more accountable for my eating and activity the more people knew I was trying to lose weight!! Ignore the "advice" and stick with your healthy plan. You may help inspire others with your determination.:wink:
  • besaro
    besaro Posts: 1,858 Member
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    I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

    Same here jmc, I have kept this to a few people, unlike you though, I will continue to keep it to myself. At some point I am sure someone will notice but so far...only 1 neighbor has even said anything.
  • stepheatscake
    stepheatscake Posts: 167 Member
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    This is YOUR body so who cares what anyone else says.. its different for everyone. We all find success by a different road.

    There's nothing to be embarrased when you are changing your life for the better. It's not just about losing weight it's about EVERYTHING. You'll think different, act different, feel different of course and have so much more confidence. You CAN do it, that ideal body will be yours.

    In the end it all boils down to you. Don't listen to anyone else unless they have encouragement for you.
  • nardoiaa
    nardoiaa Posts: 6 Member
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    I'm in the same boat you're in. I recently lost my job and now I finally have the time to go to the gym after I drop my son off at school. I didn't tell anybody I was going, but then I started to see people there. I would just say that I had nothing else to do since I don't work anymore ;-)
    It's nobody's business. I feel exactly the way you do about getting unsolicited advice from people. Just keep doing what your doing and what makes YOU happy.:smile:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.

    THIS! The only person I really disclose this with is my twin sister.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
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    Oh absolutely I've felt this way. Especially having failed so spectacularly in the past regaining everything and then some more than once. I don't talk about what I'm doing. I just do it. I don't discuss how much I've lost (except here) or how much more I want to lose.

    Just do your thing and try to tune out the noise. You can be really polite without encouraging the inane advice!
  • kcoleman64
    kcoleman64 Posts: 2
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    You are not alone. I am shy and a very private person. I have friends but when it comes to things like dieting I usually dont say anything because i dont want to hear those comments, especially the ones about me not being very overweight. Technically I am obsesd and still in need of losing at another 40 or more pounds to be at average weight (currently I have lost about 30 lbs). This time around, however, when people ask about my weight loss i tell them i have decided to start living a healthier life style and in the process i have lost weight. This keeps the comments about dieting out of the conversation.
  • SashThompson
    SashThompson Posts: 130 Member
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    the first thing you HAVE to learn is everybody is a freaking expert..... they all know someone whose uncle's brother's daughter's pet worm once lost weight. Second thing to learn, for the most part, theyre all talking sh*!, theyre not you & they dont know your body like you do.

    Learn what works for you and stick to your guns. When people kept trying to give me unwanted advice and trying to tell me "one piece of cake wont hurt" I used to just tell them that I was happy with the changes and decisions i had made and then i changed the subject or left the conversation.

    Your friends will quickly understand that you've got it under control and when you want help you will ask for it =)

    and never be embarrased! like i said before, if telling the whole world works for you then tell them, if telling only a few people to keep you on track is what works then follow that.

    Good luck x
  • bpdai
    bpdai Posts: 46 Member
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    I have heard all the same sorts of comments that you mentioned, and they bother me just as much as they do you. I just find it easier to not discuss it - except on here! This is the place where people understand, and even if the comments get out of control some times, it generally is a pretty good place to find people in the same boat as you. Other than people fighting the same fight, I generally disregard their comments. This is my battle, and I will move toward my goals regardless of what those around me have to say. I know that I am overweight, and nothing is going to convince me otherwise. It is my life that is getting better, and I am damn proud of that. Keep coming back here for support! We are here for each other!
  • DaveC29
    DaveC29 Posts: 232 Member
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    I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

    My shirt would say... 'I may be fat, but you are ugly... An I've lost xxx pounds already!' (Not directed at anyone in particular)

    Be proud of your decision to lead a healthier life. People will notice, and tell them that you have changed the way you live... It's not a 'diet' you will live with it long after you are done!
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
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    I am just wondering if I am alone in this. I have been keeping the fact that I am on a mission to lose 87 lbs and finally reach what I consider to be my ideal weight to myself, aside from telling a few close family members and one friend. I am definitely obese and it should be a good thing that I am trying to reach a healthy weight, but in the past I have gotten some annoying mixed reactions including:

    Unsolicited advice from people who don't need to be giving it. (ie "all you have to do is stop eating after 7 and don't drink soda." or "I lost 50 pounds and all I did was give up junk food and work out once in a while. You should do that and you'll lose weight!" Really? That's all you did? May I please have your metabolism?!?!)

    Comments that I am fine the way I am (50 pounds overweight) and that I am not fat and do not need to be on a diet. (What!?)

    "You're about the same size as me and I'm healthy" type comments from people half my size (Are you kidding me?)

    Comments like "You can have just a little bit of (insert diet-disaster-food/drink here). A little bit won't hurt."

    Etc, etc...

    I also don't want to tell everyone and then fail and have that embarrassment because I've done THAT before.

    So my main question is just this: Has anyone else ever felt embarrassed to be on a diet or that you wanted to hide it?

    Everyone is a fricking expert. I usually don't tell anyone for these reasons, but I've never hidden it when asked, there's just no point trying.
  • ashlbubba
    ashlbubba Posts: 224 Member
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    I'm trying very hard to lose weight any not let anyone know about it.. eventually my secret will have to come out, but by then they'll be like oh- Ashley you've lost weight- looking great!! -- And I'll be like yeah a couple pounds, no big deal. ;)
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
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    I think it is only embaressing when I tell people and dont lose weight. I was fat and now I am finally normal weight (BMI) again. When I was fat (10 lbs overweight) people would say I dont need to lose anything. Now my BMI is like 24.9.
  • Julesbee19
    Julesbee19 Posts: 1
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    First, congrats on what you've accomplished thus far - way to go!!

    This has been a very personal decision for me and that's why I haven't shouted my plan from the top of a mountain...yet. For me, it's been about taking the time to process how I feel emotionally about changing my life and gaining the confidence in my progress before I freely tell people. I'll certainly discuss my plans if asked directly, but I don't bring it up myself.

    Prime example: I told one close friend what I wanted to accomplish and her response was, "Oh that will be easy." Easy?! No one has the right to tell me that what I'm doing is easy. Regardless of her intent, her comment still rattles around in my brain and frustrates me a little.

    You'll be able to share your decision with everyone when the time is right. Until then - focus on yourself! You're doing a great job!

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