Embarrassed for Trying to Lose Weight

SunnyLuc87

Thanks for all the replies! It's getting to be that time of year though with lots of get-togethers with family and friends. I'm feeling intimidated by the fact that I'm going to have to explain why I'm not eating much at Thanksgiving, having dessert, or drinking any beer/wine/cocktails. I'm not going to be able to keep it to myself at that point because people will know that's not how I normally eat. I'm hoping to have lost a noticeable amount of weight by then so at least I have some evidence to back it up.

krazyforyou

Don't feel bad, we've all been there with causal callous comments from know it alls who thibk its OK to say whatever. Let this be your safe place to come and talk. If someone notices you lost weight dont make a big deal about it until your ready.

strawberrytoast

The only person you can let down is yourself, BUT if you have a bad day forget it and move onto the next day!!

I dont have any starting weight pics as was too embarassed to take them and didnt think id ever lose anything. Wish i had as they are great for comparing the difference.

Get some pics taken no matter how much you dont wanna, get logging your calories and get moving your already on the way there so stuff everyone else.

ChildrenCryinNCoffee

Honestly, nope. I'm not on a "diet". It's a PERMANENT lifestyle change that I made. I eat REAL food, not diet supplements(vitamins are a different story here)/shakes/instant freeze-a-meal stuff. I like to cook/bake, so I am aware of everything I'm eating. My profile, diary and weight are public on here, Facebook and Twitter. I do not shame myself into darkness until I finally lose the weight, nope it's a process and it's out there for everyone to see, for MY accountability! I know life isn't perfect and I can't always eat clean, organic, non-processed foods. But I also know that life goes on after a night out with the girls, or date night with the husband. Hell I have 4 kids, that's a lot of birthday parties (and a lot of cake) and I know that I can reel it back in after the event is over. I'm honest with my friends and if they're your friends they'll understand and keep your lifestyle/goals in mind. IF you're really serious about making a change, you can't make excuses, and you cannot have saboteurs/enablers as friends. You have to make the conscience choice to change for the better, the healthier, the fitter and you cannot be embarrassed about it.

NatashaShen

Oh I know this feeling. I only talk about my weight with my dad and sometimes my brother. I don't want anyone to tell me that I look fine or that I look smaller, because I know I don't. And a lot of people are complete downers, like you said, unsolicited advice or like my mother... attempt at sabotage or sarcasm.

SunnyLuc87

I also want to say I've read everyone's post and wish I could respond individually to each. But for anyone here who wants more supportive friends feel free to add me and I will accept. You guys are all so great and supportive.

jynxxxed

I didn't tell anybody except family.. I'm not really embarrassed that I'm actively losing weight, I just feel like I should pretend as though I never gained all of the weight in the first place lol.
It was easy to go unnoticed until this week for some reason. Two people came up to me separately mentioning how I've clearly lost weight (first time anybody has said anything except for family).. I just awkwardly thank them and proceed before the obvious questions roll in about how much I eat/weigh/junk that isn't any of their business.

I don't mind agreeing with people that I obviously HAVE lost weight.. I just don't care to discuss my tactics with anybody outside of MFP. So no, you're not alone.

aStrongerSteph

I used to be mortified if people thought "I was trying to eat less or exercise for weight loss". I thought they were all mocking the fat girl for even trying to change. I remember when our Pastor moved first came over for dinner and I had the stationary bike in the living room. He asked who used it and the kids all said, "MOM" I wanted to crawl through the floor. I had only lost about 15 lbs at that time. Now I am at the point where people can think, say or believe anything they want becaue, my living room looks like a home gym. I have my equipment all along one wall right there in the main room of the house. It's where my family spends their time so it's where I want to be. I use it more and I am PROUD of it being there now. Don't let shame or your perception of what others think, keep you from staying motivated and on track. You deserve to live the best life possible and they can kiss your left toe if they don't like it

Steph

Rawr1978

I get ripped a new one for saying. ive eaten anything except veggies by some people...and they're freaking bigger than me.

SunnyLuc87

I love that... they can kiss my toe. I need to adopt that attitude. I think I just need to gain the confidence to believe that I WILL reach my goals, that I DO know what I'm doing (for the most part), and that if anyone doesn't love me when I'm fit (or trying to get there) they aren't true friends.

NZhellkat

So sorry to hear that you feel this way. And that stupid minded people offer their negative opinions.

Like other posters I have done a lifestyle change. I'm not on a diet that I will eventual stop. I see my weight loss as secondary to the increased health and well being I strive for with better eating habits and exercise. I quantify a successful day with no pain in my left knee, my right shoulder, doing some exercise and eating better than I used to. The cherry on top is the pounds coming off.

This is your life and it's your choice what you do with it. Hats off to you for wanting to have a healthier body so that you can participate in living your life and not just watching it go by. Head up and shoulders back and give that negative people a smile and say thanks. Then carry on doing what you know is best for you. The thing about opinions is you don't have to agree with them, accept them, or even defend your own. They should be based entirely on what you know and what you have experienced. Maybe next time some one gives their opinion you could ask them how they came to that conclusion. It could prove to be highly entertaining.

onyxgirl17

I'm not on a diet. I'm on a mission.

I do agree with you though, it's not worth it to tell anyone honestly.

_kannnd

I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.

This. You have to do it for you. I don't understand why, but there are so many people out there that seem to purposefully try to hinder your weight loss if you tell them. They are just jealous that you are taking that first step to getting healthy. Ignore them and do it for you. You'll feel better in the long run.

Good luck!

collingmommy

This is a good post. I lost alot of weight in 2010, Dr told me i needed to drop 90 lbs, i said "i need to lose a9 year old kid?!" Do i went ahead and dropped 54 lbs, didn't tell anyone till they started saying stuff, then i got pregnant, found it all plus 10 lbs. Lol.. I'm now back to losing it,

Any way, when i did it the first time, i did it mostly by walking two miles a night, and by doing taebo.. Thus time, i decided (since i have a baby to take care of) to attempt to run on my road, I'm big, i now this, but omg was i embarrassed! I just knew that ppl was talking about the fat girl running down the road, and to make it worse, i would havbe to run right where the "kid" (14/17 year old kids hung out.. So i KNEW i was the thing they was giggling at. But what I've learned losing 50 lbs again, put on your headphones and dowhat ever you want! And to say to you're self ( this is what really helped me) at least I'm trying to lose weight, not sitting around slamming ppl for trying to better them selves, and they don't know me, y do i give 2 sh!ts or a phart what they think. Screw that. Just do it.

tubaman58

I didn't tell anyone I was losing weight until they noticed it. For many of the same reasons. For your to be successful it all has to be about what you want yourself to be. Once it starts to show you'll still get the clowns but more folks will support you than deride you or offer stupid advice. Most will be asking how you're doing it. Get er done kiddo.

Same here, I didn't talk about it until after people noticed it''

Kjngrrl

I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

I bet you could make a fortune selling those.

Jennaissance

In the beginning I didn't want to tell anyone I was trying to lose because I didn't want them to judge me if I didn't!

That approach didn't work very well. Now I'm in a biggest loser contest and 20 people I work with know how much I weigh. Since that started, I've lost 20 pounds.

Until you admit you want to lose, people will always tell you that you look good the way you are.

Until you tell people you want to lose, you only have this virtual support network. When you tell real people your goals you'll be amazed at how supportive they can be!

glahlstedt

Let me just say that I haven't told my Hubbs that I started weight watchers again. I joined ww back in 2008, and lost 25lbs. However, I gained it all back and more! So, I decided not to tell the Hubbs that I am trying to lose weight this time. I don't want to have to answer how much weight loss I had week to week. The only people I have told is my 2 sister's. So far, my dad and my brother have asked me if I have list a lot of weight. That is a nice feeling. Considering, it has only been 12 lbs so far, I'm glad that people are starting to notice. It will be a bonus when my Hubbs begins to notice. I am 36lbs away from my per-pregnancy weight. I will be thrilled to get to a healthy weight of 166 again. So, with that said, I am just trying my best to get to a healthy Bmi again. This time, I am going to keep it off! I keep saying that nothing taste as good as skinny feels!!

Kjngrrl

I don't mind agreeing with people that I obviously HAVE lost weight.. I just don't care to discuss my tactics with anybody outside of MFP. So no, you're not alone.

If someone asks and you don't feel like getting it to tell them "lots of diet pills and vomiting" with a little laugh. Bet that stops the questions.

kakklespakkle

I don't tell peole because i don't want theitr ridiculous opinions!!