Embarrassed for Trying to Lose Weight
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So sorry to hear that you feel this way. And that stupid minded people offer their negative opinions.
Like other posters I have done a lifestyle change. I'm not on a diet that I will eventual stop. I see my weight loss as secondary to the increased health and well being I strive for with better eating habits and exercise. I quantify a successful day with no pain in my left knee, my right shoulder, doing some exercise and eating better than I used to. The cherry on top is the pounds coming off.
This is your life and it's your choice what you do with it. Hats off to you for wanting to have a healthier body so that you can participate in living your life and not just watching it go by. Head up and shoulders back and give that negative people a smile and say thanks. Then carry on doing what you know is best for you. The thing about opinions is you don't have to agree with them, accept them, or even defend your own. They should be based entirely on what you know and what you have experienced. Maybe next time some one gives their opinion you could ask them how they came to that conclusion. It could prove to be highly entertaining.0 -
I'm not on a diet. I'm on a mission.
I do agree with you though, it's not worth it to tell anyone honestly.0 -
I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.
This. You have to do it for you. I don't understand why, but there are so many people out there that seem to purposefully try to hinder your weight loss if you tell them. They are just jealous that you are taking that first step to getting healthy. Ignore them and do it for you. You'll feel better in the long run.
Good luck!0 -
This is a good post. I lost alot of weight in 2010, Dr told me i needed to drop 90 lbs, i said "i need to lose a9 year old kid?!" Do i went ahead and dropped 54 lbs, didn't tell anyone till they started saying stuff, then i got pregnant, found it all plus 10 lbs. Lol.. I'm now back to losing it,
Any way, when i did it the first time, i did it mostly by walking two miles a night, and by doing taebo.. Thus time, i decided (since i have a baby to take care of) to attempt to run on my road, I'm big, i now this, but omg was i embarrassed! I just knew that ppl was talking about the fat girl running down the road, and to make it worse, i would havbe to run right where the "kid" (14/17 year old kids hung out.. So i KNEW i was the thing they was giggling at. But what I've learned losing 50 lbs again, put on your headphones and dowhat ever you want! And to say to you're self ( this is what really helped me) at least I'm trying to lose weight, not sitting around slamming ppl for trying to better them selves, and they don't know me, y do i give 2 sh!ts or a phart what they think. Screw that. Just do it.0 -
Same here, I didn't talk about it until after people noticed it''I didn't tell anyone I was losing weight until they noticed it. For many of the same reasons. For your to be successful it all has to be about what you want yourself to be. Once it starts to show you'll still get the clowns but more folks will support you than deride you or offer stupid advice. Most will be asking how you're doing it. Get er done kiddo.
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I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"
I bet you could make a fortune selling those.0 -
In the beginning I didn't want to tell anyone I was trying to lose because I didn't want them to judge me if I didn't!
That approach didn't work very well. Now I'm in a biggest loser contest and 20 people I work with know how much I weigh. Since that started, I've lost 20 pounds.
Until you admit you want to lose, people will always tell you that you look good the way you are.
Until you tell people you want to lose, you only have this virtual support network. When you tell real people your goals you'll be amazed at how supportive they can be!0 -
Let me just say that I haven't told my Hubbs that I started weight watchers again. I joined ww back in 2008, and lost 25lbs. However, I gained it all back and more! So, I decided not to tell the Hubbs that I am trying to lose weight this time. I don't want to have to answer how much weight loss I had week to week. The only people I have told is my 2 sister's. So far, my dad and my brother have asked me if I have list a lot of weight. That is a nice feeling. Considering, it has only been 12 lbs so far, I'm glad that people are starting to notice. It will be a bonus when my Hubbs begins to notice. I am 36lbs away from my per-pregnancy weight. I will be thrilled to get to a healthy weight of 166 again. So, with that said, I am just trying my best to get to a healthy Bmi again. This time, I am going to keep it off! I keep saying that nothing taste as good as skinny feels!!0
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I don't mind agreeing with people that I obviously HAVE lost weight.. I just don't care to discuss my tactics with anybody outside of MFP. So no, you're not alone.
If someone asks and you don't feel like getting it to tell them "lots of diet pills and vomiting" with a little laugh. Bet that stops the questions.0 -
I don't tell peole because i don't want theitr ridiculous opinions!!0
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I certainly have. I have as a result tried in secret to lose, and failed almost every time. Though I still have no interest in unsolicited advice, I have made it very public this time, in order to make sure I am held accountable. BTW it has been 161 days now and I have lost 56.2lbs of my 107lb total goal.0
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I did not tell anyone,
I did ask around about the by-pass surgeries
But did not want to spend money that way
so I hooked up here and I am down 112!
I have a job that I am off the summer when I went back to work
they were shocked at the change!0 -
A lot of these comments are just absurd to me!
Losing weight is about changing your lifestyle and how can a person do that without informing people in their life about their new lifestyle.
It's like if I was a smoker and wanted to quit, I'd go out with all my smoking friends and let them blow smoke in my face the whole time not telling them I was trying to quit! What good does that do?
MFP is a great tool, but in my world weight loss starts in reality and involves all the people I'm around.
Just my opinion.0 -
Unfortunately you will always have those people who doubt you even those close to you. But the great part about being on MFP is finding a core group of people who will support you and lift you up when you need it. It’s important to surround yourself with people who can share experiences that will motivate you when needed, support you in accountability, and be willing just to listen when needed.0
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There is absolutely nothing embarrassing about tyring to be a healthier you. I told a few people that I am on this site and really trying to follow it. I hear all the stupid advice from people and just ignore it. This is why this site is so great. We ALL are going through the same thing and no one here will make you feel anything but great. Keep your head up. You are doing an awesome job!!! 0
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So if you want to be successful, your goal should not be to "lose weight." Your goals should be to live a healthier life annd make better decisions with food and exercise.
Dropping the weight will be a side effect.
You can't always control whether the scale moves, but you can ALWAYS control the decisons that you make. If you stick to it long enough, you will eventually get to where you want to be, but as I said.. that's a side effect.
As far as telling people, I tell EVERYONE that I know that I've made a change in my life. I think you would be very surprised HOW supportive people are. I work at 11 different offices, and I guaranty you at any point in time, 1/2 the staff at each branch can tell you how much weight I've lost, and how I do it. They are SO incredibly supportive. If they're eating candy, they'll put it up when I'm around. (which I tell them they don't need to). If they know I'm coming, they make sure to bring healthy things to eat. They're amazing.
When people see how committed you are, they WANT you to succeed. Sure you may run into people who will say, "oh are you still with your diet?" Just ignore it and tell them that you're NOT on a diet, that you've made a decision. Negative people feed off of negativity, so if you don't give them something to be negative about, they'll stop.
Also sharing your life's decisions will hold you accountable... so now more.. "what if I fail." Make a decision and stick to it.. No excuses. Everyone has things in their life that makes it difficult... winners rise =D0 -
I have only told my immediate family. A few friends have found out because I have mentioned working out and then they ask if I have lost weight. Just within the last couple weeks have I had a couple people ask me if I had lost weight. For me, it is a private thing. Of course I am on here but, for some reason it is different than telling family and friends. Like recently I told my Mother-in-Law that I wanted to lose a total of 115lbs and she told me that I didn't need to lose that much. Well, if I want to get into a normal weight range I need to lose at least that much so, I think the less people know the better. It is interesting though that when you start losing a significant amount people think it is ok to constantly ask you how much you have lost. Nobody would dare ask you how much you have gained.0
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I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"
My shirt would say... 'I may be fat, but you are ugly... An I've lost xxx pounds already!' (Not directed at anyone in particular)
Be proud of your decision to lead a healthier life. People will notice, and tell them that you have changed the way you live... It's not a 'diet' you will live with it long after you are done!
I think a good saying for a t-shirt would be 'I'm fat and watching what goes in my mouth. Please be careful what comes out of yours!'
It sounds to me like what you're doing is self-protection, survival and a wise plan. Good for you! I didn't tell anyone but my husband, my doctor and folks here that I was making changes to get lighter and more fit. When people say they've noticed I've lost weight, I just smile and say "Yes, I have." and then move the conversation on to something else unless they are someone who also wants to lose weight. Then I tell them about MFP. In a way, I think people mean well when they try to give advice (no matter how wrongheaded it is) but they just don't think about the impact of what they're saying. Some people are also threatened by others making changes because they feel it points to the changes they are not making but know they should. In any case, congratulations on having the courage to be on this journey!
Best wishes!0 -
When I started, I told the people I worked with that I was going to try MFP to lose weight. Mostly for the accountability and to explain why they were seeing a change in what I was eating. One had used the website in the past and immediately downloaded the app. Several others have also signed up. We occassionally talk about how much we've lost so far. A real life support group. As I ran into family, I usually brought the subject up and talked up MFP. Some seemed interested.
After reading the comments, a secondary effect may have been that no one has really tried to give me advise and it's hard for them to detail me because I'm on on a diet, I'm on a budget, and I choose if I want to or can afford to "pay" for the calories if they offer me something.
In the end, talking about it is up to you and what you're comfortable with.
Cheering us all on to continues success.0 -
I have to say this time I've told the world...I'm not bragging I'm not looking for sympathy or adulation I'm just proud that I've been able to stick to it and to do well. Some people have asked me and others have wondered and I'm willing to talk to anyone, anywhere and if you want help feel free to ask.0
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I try and not bring it up. Partly because of unsolicited advice, and the second reason is a little weird. I've heard people point out that those who talk the most do the least, and for some reason that translates into telling=failing in my weird brain. However my situation is different.0
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Bump0
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only my husband knows and it's because my health is involved. I suppose I can quit when I'm no longer taking blood pressure and cholesterol pills. Everyone has ****ty opinions anyways so I doubt you'll hear the end of it. This is for you and that is what is important....0
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I'm right there with you for every single reason I don't usually tell people that I'm losing weight, but I wouldn't really say that I'm embarrassed about it.
I get embarrassed when I see pictures of me make their way onto facebook.
I get embarrassed when I overeat to the point that I feel sick.
I get embarrassed when I'm the first person on the soccer field to take a substitute.
I get embarrassed when I lose 15lbs, and regain 5lbs.
But I'm not embarrassed about making a commitment to get down to a healthy weight so I won't be ashamed of pictures, so I know that I can stop myself when I'm satisfied, to be "that player" that has so much stamina that she draws all the defensive players to mark her, and to just maintain.0 -
I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.
THIS! It isnt a diet, it is a lifestyle change. On a diet I couldn't eat some of the food that I enjoy, I just make sure to log all of it. Also on a diet I would fail.0 -
I stopped calling it a diet. I call it a healthier lifestyle and people either take it or leave it. I don't tell people anything until they ask me or comment on my fat loss.
^ this is awesome. I think I'm going to do that!0 -
I'm right there with you for every single reason I don't usually tell people that I'm losing weight, but I wouldn't really say that I'm embarrassed about it.
I get embarrassed when I see pictures of me make their way onto facebook.
I get embarrassed when I overeat to the point that I feel sick.
I get embarrassed when I'm the first person on the soccer field to take a substitute.
I get embarrassed when I lose 15lbs, and regain 5lbs.
But I'm not embarrassed about making a commitment to get down to a healthy weight so I won't be ashamed of pictures, so I know that I can stop myself when I'm satisfied, to be "that player" that has so much stamina that she draws all the defensive players to mark her, and to just maintain.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I don't feel EMBARRASSED, but I completely understand where you're coming from and how annoying those types of comments can get. That's why I'm really picky with who I discuss my weight loss goals with. It's annoying hearing stupid advice from people who know nothing about what it takes to achieve permanent, successful weight loss.
And I hate the looks I get when I say "no" when offered pizza or chips or cookies or something, as if I'm crazy for turning it down or I'm denying myself. No, I just don't feel the need to put crap in my body right now, but you can go right ahead.
Sigh.0 -
I wouldn't be EMBARRASSED, but I don't tell people either. You're right, everybody wants to give you their stupid weight loss advice, including fat people.0
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I don't broadcast that I'm dieting and exercising because I usually don't announce real personal stuff like that. I'm more embarassed when people notice it and now a fellow employee will point me out and say "look how little she's getting". I just don't like attention drawn to me for my weight good or bad. I guess I just don't take compliments well. I know it's stupid but it's how I row...0
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