Before You Weigh In...
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Good thing I no longer have tonsils. Also, I'll have to weigh myself after I get my hair trimmed. Which reminds me to remind you: Don't weigh yourself until your hair dries! This can really screw with your weight if you have long hair. My house is cold, though. Weighing without clothes is too much to ask. I love my fuzzy pajamas.0
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Exfoliate. Sit in the sauna and sweat it out. No hair products! Men especially--all that hair gel gets heavy!! Oh, and you should only weigh in when there is a new moon, because clearly that is when the moon exerts the least gravitational force... :-D0
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Make sure your scale is balanced, in the same spot each weigh in, and take the best weight out of three times in a row.
Weigh yourself at the same time each morning right when you wake up nude after you pee.0 -
Do you guys think that getting rid of a leg will help me lose weight? I'm really desperate heere!111!!1110
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...Oh, and you should only weigh in when there is a new moon, because clearly that is when the moon exerts the least gravitational force... :-D
shi7, I totally didn't know this! Awesome sauce!0 -
Make sure your scale is balanced, in the same spot each weigh in, and take the best weight out of three times in a row.
Right on! My scale is a bit temperamental. I step on the scale several times. I take the weight once it agrees with itself three times. I think it's due to it getting "off" if I pick it up before it's actually turned off. So that's another one. Make sure there's a completely flat floor... or that your floor has a slant which favors you.0 -
If you're a breastfeeding mama, make sure to feed/pump before stepping on the scale.
LMAO! Sadly, I actually do this! Those ounces do add up! And Yes.... I'm serious! lol
Oh, I do it too! And some of the other suggestions! hahaha
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The only rule that makes sense is the third one. Everything else is just crazy and excessive.
I think you may need to check the batteries in your sarcasm detector..... 0 -
The only rule that makes sense is the third one. Everything else is just crazy and excessive.
....funny0 -
Unclog those pores. Biore or something.0
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I've been meaning to sign up as a kidney and bone marrow donor (seriously) just thinking of the added benefits of weight loss puts a smile on my face!...and of course helping out my fellow man too...but really, the weight loss is nice ; )0
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Ok, so I'v shaved my head/body, gotten rid of unnecessary organs, sold my soul, cleaned my belly button, trimmed my nails, scrubbed away the dead skin, lost my sense of humor.... and I'm still fat. Now I look ridiculous.
I think I just timp. (Tinkled in my pants).
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Me too!!!!!!!
Me three! Added weight loss!0 -
Ah, come on! That can't be it...I still have some more pounds to go to get to my goal!!! How necessary are all of my teeth???0
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go ahead and peel your skin off while you're at it.0
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Talk to the scale, build a rapport. Love it, and squeeze it, and call his name George... Or Pedro if you are Hispanic like me.
I named mine Fredrico...does that count?? We have a good long talk about how he needs to support me a little more every week, but sometimes he doesn't listen. What if I traded him in for a female scale? Do you think she would understand a little more?0 -
Yes, I do think a female scale would be a bit more understanding - BUT may be more in tune with its emotional side as well which could go either way.....0
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That's true, Sarah... If I mad her mad, she may just add a few extra lbs as revenge. Hmmm...
I might just get a few organ removed and shave my hair, as others have mentioned. Sounds like a good plan to me. And I sure don't need my left hand, so I'll just get rid of that too!0 -
best way to get at that damn scale is to adjust it before you begin...move it back 20lbs or so..then come back later that day step on it without looking and just look at the final number
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best way to get at that damn scale is to adjust it before you begin...move it back 20lbs or so..then come back later that day step on it without looking and just look at the final number
I like your train of thought dj...hmmm, I have a digital scale so I don't know if it will work though. Maybe if I hang on the towel rack to hold myself up a bit the number will go lower....I could probably do it that way. :laugh:0 -
best way to get at that damn scale is to adjust it before you begin...move it back 20lbs or so..then come back later that day step on it without looking and just look at the final number
I like your train of thought dj...hmmm, I have a digital scale so I don't know if it will work though. Maybe if I hang on the towel rack to hold myself up a bit the number will go lower....I could probably do it that way. :laugh:
^^^^^ Yes. That.0 -
best way to get at that damn scale is to adjust it before you begin...move it back 20lbs or so..then come back later that day step on it without looking and just look at the final number
I like your train of thought dj...hmmm, I have a digital scale so I don't know if it will work though. Maybe if I hang on the towel rack to hold myself up a bit the number will go lower....I could probably do it that way. :laugh:
Don't think you got a whole lot to worry about anyway0 -
Hold as many helium balloons as can fit in the room with you.0
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Hold as many helium balloons as can fit in the room with you.
What kind of rope/string should I use? Should I stick with the little string that's usually handed out with them? Maybe I could use some type of twine? Or would that be extra weight added on?? Should I use a specific color balloon? 'Cause I know that the dye to color those balloons can't be weightless!
This is all so confusing! :sad:0 -
Sewing thread, very short sewing thread. Balloons can be any color, you just need a really big room so more balloons will fit. If you can rent an outdoor stadium that would be perfect.0
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bump! Good laugh!0
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Floss your teeth!! Make sure to get a chemical peel as well, burn off a few layers of skin... lose weight, and look years younger all in one shot!! 0
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Use a netti-pot to clear out those sinuses. And an enema to clear out other parts.0
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Cut your friggin toenails, pick that nose....0
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hhmm welll i dont plan on getting naky in the hall at the med clinic.. but i am going to go see bout donating blood before i weigh in in a couple weeks..lmao0
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...Oh, and you should only weigh in when there is a new moon, because clearly that is when the moon exerts the least gravitational force... :-D
shi7, I totally didn't know this! Awesome sauce!
I think you want the opposite - so weigh yourself on the full moon. If the moon is exerting gravitational force, then it is pulling you away from the Earth.
You can always drink some olive oil the night before.0
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