Embarrassed for Trying to Lose Weight

I know how you feel, my family supports me and all but girls my age (I'm 19 tomorrow) don't understand and they make comments that are rude. You just gotta keep your head up because all in all no one knows your body and what's healthy for it like you.

I used to be mortified if people thought "I was trying to eat less or exercise for weight loss". I thought they were all mocking the fat girl for even trying to change.

That's how I feel about it too. I started running before I started seriously trying to lose weight (i.e., watching what I eat instead of out-eating my running) and I felt embarrassed about that too. I still don't really tell people, even though during the winters due to daylight I am jogging around during work at lunch. I certainly don't let it get out I watch what I eat nowadays.

I feel like people are so competitive and that no matter what you accomplish they'll always be trying to outdo you in some way or point out your shortcomings. I think how nobody said anything when I gained the weight, so I don't want them to say anything when I start to lose it either, then maybe I can pretend nobody noticed :laugh: I guess I'm also afraid that I'll fail. Or that my weight loss will be so laughably slow that it would feel like failing if anyone knew. I am proud of the 4 lbs I've lost. But if anyone kept asking me "how many pounds did you lose this week?" even if they were trying to be supportive I would just feel like a failure. If I know I can do it on my own terms and take another year to lose another 20 lbs, then I don't feel so bad. It's just me in my head, not someone else's expectations.

Honestly, nope. I'm not on a "diet". It's a PERMANENT lifestyle change that I made. I eat REAL food, not diet supplements(vitamins are a different story here)/shakes/instant freeze-a-meal stuff. I like to cook/bake, so I am aware of everything I'm eating. My profile, diary and weight are public on here, Facebook and Twitter. I do not shame myself into darkness until I finally lose the weight, nope it's a process and it's out there for everyone to see, for MY accountability! I know life isn't perfect and I can't always eat clean, organic, non-processed foods. But I also know that life goes on after a night out with the girls, or date night with the husband. Hell I have 4 kids, that's a lot of birthday parties (and a lot of cake) and I know that I can reel it back in after the event is over. I'm honest with my friends and if they're your friends they'll understand and keep your lifestyle/goals in mind. IF you're really serious about making a change, you can't make excuses, and you cannot have saboteurs/enablers as friends. You have to make the conscience choice to change for the better, the healthier, the fitter and you cannot be embarrassed about it.

Exactly! When I got my head back in the game, I started cutting out the things and people who were helping me make a mess out of my life. I've found that people are quick to have an opinion because they need the light to shine on someone else while their flaws hide in the shadows. I'm a live-out-loud type of girl, so here I am in all of my flawed glory!! I will be a better version of me. The weight loss is just a perk. Those who want to journey with me are welcome. Those who want to be negative can ramble on....

Sometimes. But I don't want others to see me as they see my friend.... My very good friend has been losing weight at a very rapid pace. She is excercising but she is NOT eatting healthily. In her defense, it is a very difficult time in her life right now and she's coping to the best of her abilities. Regardless, she brings her weight loss up every 10 minutes or so. And while I'm happy for her, it has become a bit tedious. She's proud of herself (and I don't blame her), it's a big ego boost (which she really needs right now) but it's just too much self obsession. Anyway, as of now when I mention my weight loss I always think "I hope they don't think this is all I'm about anymore" and "have I brought it up too much".

* yes, I have sat down and expressed my concerns/ healthier choices with her.

I've received a lot of the same comments actually. At first, I was embarassed. I didn't want to talk about it. Just let me do my thing my own way. I didn't want the criticism. I didn't want people to tell me I should eat this and this not eat that and blah blah blah. People still noticed I was losing weight and still put in their 2 cents, but I brushed it off.

THEN, you get the whole "how are you doing it?!" like you're some sort of God. I even had one person ask me how much weight I lost and I told her 50 at the time, and she replied "You haven't lost that much, have you?" I looked at her dumb founded. Then, she preceded to ask me how I did it. I bluntly replied diet and exercise.

It all comes to down not giving a flying *kitten*. If you do care (which who doesn't??), brush the comments off. Do it for yourself. If you fail, you fail. TRY AGAIN. Give yourself a break every now and then.

I kept my weight loss from pretty much everyone excpet for my husband and a 1 co-worker until people started to notice the wight loss. I did it for some of the reasons you did, didn't want to fail and have everyone know. I am a pretty private person and don't need to share my life with everyone. Eventually people will notice and then you will have to talk about it, but when people ask how or what am I doing I always just say eating better and excercising. Not everyone needs to know my business and and much as I thank people when they do comment on my weight loss and congratulate me it is still uncomforatble for me.

Everyone is different in what motivates them and for me it is not other people. I don't mean to sound cold about it but I think in order to be successful you really only need to do it for yourself and the praise and comments from others should not be your main motivator. I think I will more open to it if in a year from now I have maintained the loss and people comment then.

Nope. And it should not be a diet, it should be an entire lifestyle change.

Look at this way; You are strong, with enough self respect to change your life for the better. No shame in it!

I have found that telling anyone other then my husband has lead to them trying to sabotas mine efforts. :C So I recently told my family I wasn't doing it anymore, then started again in secret.

I totally sympathise. I started out not telling anyone, even myself. This is very much a mental and emotional journey, not just physical. I didn't even know if I could do it at first, so I didn't want to announce my hopes and then fail. My first huge step was to tell a supportive friend that I wanted to be healthier - I didn't have a pound goal at that time. Then the weight started coming off and people started noticing. It was also hard for me to start talking to my husband about it because I was afraid he would judge me. I was suprised to learn that everyone was very supportive and it wasn't wierd to them at all that I was counting calories. In fact, most of my friends' reaponses were "oh I've done that too, I was on weight watchers." Now I'm very open about it with everyone and I've gotten a lot of support.

Oh yeah I've been embarrassed to admit it! It brings upon you unsolicited advice and also judgment if you happen to slip up.


On the other hand it gives you accountability...so there are good sides of it and bad sides of it.

I've told my family and wish I hadn't.
I went to a get together last weekend (after not seeing these people for 2 months) and no one asked about or noticed my 30 pound weight loss, even though they know I'm trying to lose. Super supportive. /sarcasm
I splurged a little at the party and my mom and grandmother looked at me like I was doing something evil! I'm just not talking about it with them anymore.

I used to feel the way you do. Honestly. I have been morbidly obese ALL my life. After ridicule and teasing, I became introverted and unsocial. After three decades I decided I had had enough. So, I started working out, trying different diets and ended up yo-yoing like a crazy person. In February I finally found a diet that worked. Just simply lowering my carbs, giving up refined sugars, and junk food. I also started working out 15-30 minutes per day. I don't know your body type, but with me, I found that "normal or fad" diets just wouldn't work because for MY body, I couldn't process all the carbs like 2/3's of the population can. I just started on a Monday and didn't say anything to anyone, except my hubby because he lives with me of course. I also found MFP. It keeps me grounded. The support from others in the "same boat as me" is a gift from God. Also, logging my food intake and exercise keeps me focused and accountable for what I put in my face and what I do with the energy I am consuming. MFP also shared something with me that NOBODY ever gave me: hope. I found on MFP a saying that I have printed up and placed on my bedroom door. It is a few words, but they pack a punch. I hope that the words help you and make you realize that the only thing to be embarrassed about is NOT doing anything about the problem and giving up because what others may say or do. Ignore what others who don't have a clue about weight issues, keep focused on your goals and keep your chin up. You'll get there with hard work and dedication to yourself and the way YOU WISH TO BE PERCEIVED.

Here are the words that I hold so dear to my heart. I hope they help you to understand that this is YOUR journey.

It takes four weeks for you to begin seeing the changes in your body. It takes eight weeks for friends and family to see the changes. It takes twelve weeks for everyone else to see the changes in your body, your health, your outlook and your physical being. Keep going! Never give up!

My mantra since February 2012 has been, "Keep Going and NEVER Give Up!" Don't let THEM distract you and if you need some support, friend me, and I promise to support you, chide you when you need it, and I will praise you for your committment to yourself and your willingness to change. God bless, Sweetie!

Firstly, good for you for wanting to make a change!

Secondly, do not call it a diet! Diet's are short-term, this needs to be a lifestyle change!

Thirdly, do not say "What if I fail" take that right out of your vocabulary. You have just started and your already thinking about the embarrassment from people if you fail? Stop thinking like that.

The last thing you should be worried about is what other people think. Look YOURSELF in the mirror, and tell YOURSELF that you will do this. Letting down friends and family is yes, maybe embarrassing, but letting down yourself is even worse. Other people's feelings shouldn't even take place in your new healthy journey. When starting a new healthy lifestyle, that is your time to be selfish. To take care of yourself and only worry about yourself.

Do not be embarrassed to lose weight! Yes, people may be saying now "What for, or why?" but give it a few months and they will ask you "Wow, how did you do it!"

Take charge and give it your all. It's not going to be easy, but it is going to be SO worth it. Focus on one day at a time. And don't worry about quick fixes or fad diets. Healthy choices, moderation, portion control and exercise are the only 4 things you need.

You got this!!!

And P.S. Criticism will never go away. When I was overweight NO ONE said a word to me that I was unhealthy. Now that I'm at my goal weight, people are telling me that I need to relax and eat a cookie. I just tell them in a creative way what they can do with that cookie

I am at times. I feel like I want a t-shirt that says "I'm fat, but I used to be fatter!". or "ya, I am fat, but you should have seen me last week!"

Same here jmc, I have kept this to a few people, unlike you though, I will continue to keep it to myself. At some point I am sure someone will notice but so far...only 1 neighbor has even said anything.

Love this! I want one of those t shirts too.

I didn't read other responses, but losing weight is one of those things that's like an antenna for people, like buying a house, etc. Everyone's got an opinion/method (whether they've been through/done x, or want to.)

If you want to keep people off your back, just tell them you have some kind of allergy or digestive thing and HAVE to eat what you eat, thanks.

(I didn't mind talking about it, but if I just wanted people to shut up, I'd do that.)