Relationship advice...Please!

Fat2Fit145
Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
in Chit-Chat
Hey yall, i know this site is about weight loss, but this has been bothering me, and when things affect me emotionally they affect my moods and eating and well u know the drill.............so this happened going on a year now....

My boyfriend told his female friend " if I was single, you wouldnt be single"....... now i didnt receive that well... and to date it still bothers me....so im not comfortable with them being friends

what is your honest take on that statement??.... ( want both a male and female perspective)... as honest as possible...

thanks much
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Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?
  • ILoveTheBrowns
    ILoveTheBrowns Posts: 661 Member
    hes saying if he was single he would nail her ........or may be doing it anyway (
  • Fat2Fit145
    Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?

    Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?

    Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem

    I don't buy it. But you would know him best. Does he have any other past behavior that may prove him to be unfaithful to you?
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    jH8sI.gif
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    It would depend on the circumstances. I was once approached by a fellow student back i the day, she asked, if I did not have a girlfriend would I date her, and that is what I said. To spare her feelings. I would not go out with her, but she did not have to know that.
  • KatKisses
    KatKisses Posts: 296 Member
    dump him!
  • Fat2Fit145
    Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
    It would depend on the circumstances. I was once approached by a fellow student back i the day, she asked, if I did not have a girlfriend would I date her, and that is what I said. To spare her feelings. I would not go out with her, but she did not have to know that.

    True....and thats the basis of his argument, that he was just trying to make her feel better about her self.
  • madworld1
    madworld1 Posts: 524
    I would be pissed and uncomfortable with their friendship.
  • Joshacham
    Joshacham Posts: 467 Member
    How long have you two been together? Throughout this time you've been together, has he given you any reason to doubt or fear that has or will cheat on you?

    Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
  • Joshacham
    Joshacham Posts: 467 Member
    jH8sI.gif

    Love it. XD
  • Fat2Fit145
    Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?

    Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem

    I don't buy it. But you would know him best. Does he have any other past behavior that may prove him to be unfaithful to you?

    he did send other females messages that i didnt approve of like " there's something about you i really love"....sooooo......yeh
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    A statement like that is in Gonzo's "no fly zone"
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?

    Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem

    I don't buy it. But you would know him best. Does he have any other past behavior that may prove him to be unfaithful to you?

    he did send other females messages that i didnt approve of like " there's something about you i really love"....sooooo......yeh

    God no, there world is FULL of men, get a better one - that guy's either a cheater or a cheater in the making...
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
    It would depend on the circumstances. I was once approached by a fellow student back i the day, she asked, if I did not have a girlfriend would I date her, and that is what I said. To spare her feelings. I would not go out with her, but she did not have to know that.

    True....and thats the basis of his argument, that he was just trying to make her feel better about her self.

    If the girl initiated the conversation there, that is the only answer he could give. We do not like to make girls cry. Then I will have to defend his position. On the other hand, if he just went up to her and said, yo baby, if I was not hitched, it would be you and me, then toss him.
  • Icelandic_Saga
    Icelandic_Saga Posts: 2,926 Member
    hes saying if he was single he would nail her ........or may be doing it anyway (

    Agreed
  • Fat2Fit145
    Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
    How long have you two been together? Throughout this time you've been together, has he given you any reason to doubt or fear that has or will cheat on you?

    Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

    no actually....i dont think that he will now....we have been together for 2 years now. when he said that it was about 13 months into the relationship.....but that mesage made me concerned about their emotional bond, and if he secretly likes her....idk
  • ktaqt3399
    ktaqt3399 Posts: 141 Member
    He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?

    Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem

    Honey ive always had this motto....if your truly worried about unfaithfulness get out of the relationship. My husband has female friends and ive never had a thought about him cheating and visa versa we have complete trusts.....if it smells like a cheater it probably is
    I don't buy it. But you would know him best. Does he have any other past behavior that may prove him to be unfaithful to you?

    he did send other females messages that i didnt approve of like " there's something about you i really love"....sooooo......yeh
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
    In what context did this convo happen? How did that subject come up for him to say that? Did he say that to her in front of you?

    Need more details.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Well....it's a bit rude and may have implied more to the girl... does he realize this?

    If he does and was apologetic, I may let it pass.

    If he had an excuse, I'd question it more.

    AND I just read down that this happened a while ago and it is bothering you....you either trust him or you don't.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
    To be honest... it depends. She may have been having a low self esteem day and he just wanted to perk her up a bit. He may not even have meant it. If he said that, then nothing after that, don't worry. Now, if he says it like ALL the time, or repeatedly goes on about how pretty she is or wants to spend a lot of his free time with her rather than you, maybe then I'd be a bit more worried. But if it was just a casual supposed to be friendly or complimenting style, don't worry. Guys say things a bit more directly than girls do, so try to keep it simple. "If I were single" he's saying he's not, he's acknolwedging he's with you.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    Check his text messages.
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
    I've said "similar" things to girls before. I WAS SINGLE (just clarifying, so my wife doesn't shoot me), but we were a few thousand miles away. I had no intention of ever doing anything with the girl, but it was said to make her feel better. It was along the lines of "if I was there, you definitely wouldn't be single" or something to that effect.

    With that being said, there are nice guys, then there are the deuchebags who say that just to sleep with a girl. I'm an *kitten*, not a deuchebag :happy:
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
    My honest opinion: if you asked him about it and it is still bothering you, and he has exhibited doubtful behavior not just once, then it is time to consider if this is the best fit for both of you.

    I don't agree that not wanting to hurt her feelings is an acceptable reason for him to say that. What about your feelings? Were hers more important?
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    Check the scale.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,716 Member
    DTMFA
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,851 Member
    That comment in my opinion is inappropriate, no matter how you look at it.: 1. If she asked him-she's wrong AND his response was wrong. Means she thinks of him that way and he thinks of her the same =They do not respect his relationship. FAIL.... 2. If he told her just for GP: He is wrong all by his self. Means he thinks of her in that way and by hanging out with her puts him in tempting and compromising situation everytime they're together= he does not respect you and/or your relationship. 3. You the OP confronted him and he has not A. quit being friends with her B. Earned your trust after making that statement initially, and therefore may not respect you and/or the relationship. Just my opinion. If he wants to be with you, your feelings she be his number 1 priority. Again this is just my take on the situation, based on the info that was given. Obviously I dont know all the ins and outs of your relationship, him, or what occured that caused him to make such a statement in the first place. Hope everything works out. Good Luck Love :wink:
  • twerkthat
    twerkthat Posts: 23 Member
    Hey yall, i know this site is about weight loss, but this has been bothering me, and when things affect me emotionally they affect my moods and eating and well u know the drill.............so this happened going on a year now....

    My boyfriend told his female friend " if I was single, you wouldnt be single"....... now i didnt receive that well... and to date it still bothers me....so im not comfortable with them being friends

    what is your honest take on that statement??.... ( want both a male and female perspective)... as honest as possible...

    thanks much

    It means it's time to pack his duffle bag and point to the left..the end is near because he is not the one..at any given moment if given the opportunity he will be with her..SORRY :brokenheart:
  • Fat2Fit145
    Fat2Fit145 Posts: 385 Member
    In what context did this convo happen? How did that subject come up for him to say that? Did he say that to her in front of you?

    Need more details.

    they were talking about her relatinships.... he brought it up, he asked how things were in that department... she told him, and then he told her not to let guys use her and to run them... d convo continued and then he made that statement..... and they were talking on skype
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Hello! People, she did just say that he's sent messages to other girls too - QUOTE: *'he did send other females messages that i didnt approve of like " there's something about you i really love"....sooooo......yeh'*

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