Relationship advice...Please!
Replies
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I'm sorry, but that's just sad. Maybe you're the one that doesn't deserve him? Why is it so wrong for people to have friends of the opposite gender AND compliment them?0
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Hey yall, i know this site is about weight loss, but this has been bothering me, and when things affect me emotionally they affect my moods and eating and well u know the drill.............so this happened going on a year now....
My boyfriend told his female friend " if I was single, you wouldnt be single"....... now i didnt receive that well... and to date it still bothers me....so im not comfortable with them being friends
what is your honest take on that statement??.... ( want both a male and female perspective)... as honest as possible...
thanks much
I would not be happy about that if I was in your shoes. Sounds like he was hitting on her. :explode:0 -
You asked for honest, and you're getting it. DUMP HIS SORRY *kitten*.0
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I'm sorry, but that's just sad. Maybe you're the one that doesn't deserve him? Why is it so wrong for people to have friends of the opposite gender AND compliment them?
You have a strange view on the term compliment.
"You look nice today." = compliment.
"You're smart, funny and gorgeous. You'll find someone amazing." = compliment.
"If I wasn't with my girlfriend, I would be with you." = Seriously?
Have your man say that to some chick and see how you react to it.0 -
Give him his wish and let him date the other chick.
Forbidding him for them to be friends? Yeah...good luck with that.0 -
bawhahaha!!!!!0 -
By sparing her feeling he hurt yours. You should be priority. If it's one slip up then i think it's something to look past. But if it really taints what you have with him (which it might for me), then there's little sense in staying with someone when such a roadblock is there. Again, if it's just a minor slip up you might need to step up and forgive : )0
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Just break up.0
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men aren't mind readers. if you didn't make it CRYSTAL clear that you are not comfortable with him being around this girl (especially in a one on one situation) you can't blame him for assuming it would be okay. sounds like you need to speak up and set some concrete boundaries.
This. Especially if the other girl - a couple weeks ago - basically asked him out on a dinner date. Remain calm and tell him that what she did was over the line and you don't want them fraternizing any more than with circle of friends - if even that much. If he respects your opinion and agrees, great. If not, then don't keep yourself in a (likely) bad situation.0 -
he needs a slap thats an awful thing to do0
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I'm sorry, but that's just sad. Maybe you're the one that doesn't deserve him? Why is it so wrong for people to have friends of the opposite gender AND compliment them?
You have a strange view on the term compliment.
"You look nice today." = compliment.
"You're smart, funny and gorgeous. You'll find someone amazing." = compliment.
"If I wasn't with my girlfriend, I would be with you." = Seriously?
Have your man say that to some chick and see how you react to it.
I was about to say the EXACT same thing.0 -
He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?
Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem
what a gem. so he either places more importance on her self-esteem than his own girlfriend's, or he wasn't thinking of you or how such a comment would make you feel. obviously if its been a year it did bother you if you are posting about it now. it probably wouldn't still be bugging you if you fully trusted him. after a comment like that, he woulda been single if it had been my guy0 -
no actually....i dont think that he will now....we have been together for 2 years now. when he said that it was about 13 months into the relationship.....but that mesage made me concerned about their emotional bond, and if he secretly likes her....idk
being together two years does not mean that he will not cheat.. my relationship of three years ended last month because he started an affair on the side two months ago. If he has some sort of insecurity or is a commitment-phobe (my-ex cheated because we were moving in together and discussing rings, blah blah blah, this 31-year old woman (he's 24) was pursuing him and he just eventually fed into it) and there are other women that are feeding these insecurities or making him feel good about himself, he can stray. But what I learned from my situation is that you should never EVER be worried about someone elses actions. I was willing to work through the cheating issue, but then I came to realize that I, or any other woman for that matter, should NOT be a second choice in her relationship. You deserve someone who will make you happy and who will give you all their love. You're not going to be able to enjoy a relationship if you're constantly worrying about your security in the girlfriend position. It's hard..but I think you need to move on if it's still bothering you.0 -
If you are worried enough about it to ask now, all this time later, it's not worth it. Don't sneak around & check his messages or anything like that. Just dump him & move on. Life is too short to live in constant doubt. Somewhere out there is a man who won't give you any reason to doubt where his heart is.0
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If you're still festering about it a year later then whether it was innocent of not, the damage is done. Time to move on and either find someone who won't give you these feelings or check yourself to make sure you don't have jealousy issues. Good luck!0
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This happened 11 months ago and is still bothering you enough that you are seeking advice and others opinions. I think you have your answer right there. You know the nuances and particulars about your relationship and you know your boyfriend. And something that you know is bugging your consciousness enough to not let go of this nugget.0
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Run, don't walk. My husband had a woman who was his best friend and it didn't turn out very well.... When you are dating, you are on your best behavior. I wouldn't waste any more time at all. Let her have him.0
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From a girl who has been in a happy relationship for 10+ years. Get over it and don't sweat the small stuff...
There is so much more to a happy healthy relationship than a couple of inappropriate statements.
That being said, no one can tell you how to feel so ultimately you have to do what makes you happy. The hard part sometimes is figuring out what that is.... (Guess I wasn't really that much help eh??:flowerforyou: )
Good Luck,
Alsison0 -
He sounds like a douche. Did you ask him about it?
Yes i confronted him about it, and he said he was just trying to boost her self-esteem
I don't buy it. But you would know him best. Does he have any other past behavior that may prove him to be unfaithful to you?
REALLY, SERIOUSLY.... that's BS.0 -
to put it nicely... he's a d*ck0
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My advice? Dump him. He sounds like an *kitten* and is probably already sleeping with her.0
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If it happened to me as often as he's done this to you... I'd tell him he IS SINGLE until he can figure out how to treat you properly.0
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That comment in my opinion is inappropriate, no matter how you look at it.: 1. If she asked him-she's wrong AND his response was wrong. Means she thinks of him that way and he thinks of her the same =They do not respect his relationship. FAIL.... 2. If he told her just for GP: He is wrong all by his self. Means he thinks of her in that way and by hanging out with her puts him in tempting and compromising situation everytime they're together= he does not respect you and/or your relationship. 3. You the OP confronted him and he has not A. quit being friends with her B. Earned your trust after making that statement initially, and therefore may not respect you and/or the relationship. Just my opinion. If he wants to be with you, your feelings she be his number 1 priority. Again this is just my take on the situation, based on the info that was given. Obviously I dont know all the ins and outs of your relationship, him, or what occured that caused him to make such a statement in the first place. Hope everything works out. Good Luck Love
Appreciate it... very valid points... and the thing is, a few weeks ago she asked him to take her to a dinner, he then came and asked me if it was ok.... ummmmmmmm! shouldnt that answer be obvious? i guess it wasnt.... they ended up not going cuz she called it off... but still!
men aren't mind readers. if you didn't make it CRYSTAL clear that you are not comfortable with him being around this girl (especially in a one on one situation) you can't blame him for assuming it would be okay. sounds like you need to speak up and set some concrete boundaries.
when i asked about the dinner i said "i am not comfortable with it"... but i left it up tp him to make his decision....and well he was going if she didnt cancel0 -
From a girl who has been in a happy relationship for 10+ years. Get over it and don't sweat the small stuff...
There is so much more to a happy healthy relationship than a couple of inappropriate statements.
That being said, no one can tell you how to feel so ultimately you have to do what makes you happy. The hard part sometimes is figuring out what that is.... (Guess I wasn't really that much help eh??:flowerforyou: )
Good Luck,
Alsison
lol... yes u were... thanks
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^^^This. If you aren't comfortable with them being friends, you really aren't sure he won't cheat. So, either you trust him or you don't. And, based upon what you've written, I wouldn't.Go with your gut feeling ... it's usually correct. The fact that you needed to post this means that you doubt him so stop tormenting yourself0 -
If you're still festering about it a year later then whether it was innocent of not, the damage is done. Time to move on and either find someone who won't give you these feelings or check yourself to make sure you don't have jealousy issues. Good luck!
yep. i wont deny the jealousy issues.....but arent we all at times0 -
I personally feel that you will never be able to fully trust him. He's doing things that would make any girl worried. My advice would be to move on, but usually people in these types of situations don't. They stay and continue to get hurt. Break the cycle! There are a lot of men out in the world, why settle for one who obviously has roaming eyes?0
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Oh no, none of that nonsense for me. What to do depends on you though. If you can get over it, then get over it and drop it. If nothing he says can make you feel better then drop him.0
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YES0 -
How long have you two been together? Throughout this time you've been together, has he given you any reason to doubt or fear that has or will cheat on you?
Freud said sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
no actually....i dont think that he will now....we have been together for 2 years now. when he said that it was about 13 months into the relationship.....but that mesage made me concerned about their emotional bond, and if he secretly likes her....idk
So, this happened a year ago?! :huh:0
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