How do I deal with enablers?

If you really want to get the point across scrape the plate into the garbage in front of them. Firmly tell them that you don't appreciate them sabotaging you and to either support you or leave.

They may leave, so be prepared for that if you do this.

Unfortunately the only way to get your point across to them is to talk to them, you don't have to be mean about it either, tell them that while you appreciate them thinking about you when it comes to dinner etc. that you are really trying to watch what you eat and you know you can't control yourself when it comes to them offering you food. Ask them that they please help you out because this means a lot to you and it would help you if you had their support through it.

If this doesn't work, then you have to be firm about it, this is your health and your life and you have to take control, I understand though, it is ****ing Hard. My mother does it to me all the time. She CONSTANTLY buys snacky sweet foods that she knows I love and keeps bringing it around. Finally I just said "Mom, I know you don't have to watch your weight, but I am trying to really hard, please don't offer me snacks anymore." she still does but I just say "No" a flat out "No' if she tries to say "but its only this much" I say "No". One word and it is working for me so far. She stopped bringing it around.

No, I do not have a normal relationship with food, I am a comfort eater, it is my go to thing when I am depressed or sad. I am trying to redefine my relationship with food and it is HARD. Really ****ing Hard, but I am doing it and I know you can too

If your SO offers you something you know you can't eat and tries to justify it, just keep saying no and if that doesn't work, get up and leave. It will suck but you have to take control.

You probably don't want to hear this, but the fact is you might need to get a little bit confrontational here. You don't have to be mean, you don't have to raise your voice, but you might need to be very direct with a few people. They probably mean well and love you very much, and are used to expressing it in particular ways, ie making and bringing you food, which in the past, I have to assume has made you happy/feel loved. You might need to explain to them that you know they mean well, but in order to help you (if they really want to help you in this), some of their behavior will have to change. Be specific. Like, tell your SO that instead of bringing you food, he can rub your feet to show you he loves you.
Now, change is never easy, and it won't be for them, either. They are used to thinking and behaving in certain ways. You'll probably have to have some patience with them. Keep talking about what you need from them, but understand that they mean well and change is hard, when they don't do what you would wish. Good luck!

You may find out that they are afraid that you will leave them when you hit your goal weight. I've read that this can be the situation too, so it may be a question you need to ask them. Some how you will have to get the willpower to overcome the junk food. Eat what you know you can, count the calories and then push that plate away. Keep a water bottle at the ready and reach for that instead of whatever else is sitting on that coffee table. It's going to be all on you for the most part. If they offer to get you more food, ask them to fill your glass with water instead. Good luck and you can do this.

punch them in the face or junk depending on your relative altitude to their face or junk.

seriously....

or even more seriously, you may cringe at the thought of confrontation, but you have to realize that you are fightiing for your very life. So which is worse to you, that you continue down your path and to who knows how many health complications, or that you tell someone to stop helping you hurt yourself?

You might not be there yet, the point when the change becomes your goal, but eventually you will and then all your excuses will fall away and you'll be able to stand up for you and do what needs to be done.

^^This. But, seriously, I have the same issues. I am a binger and don't do well when I'm surrounded by temptation. I also hang out with a lot of athletes with super high metabolisms who can eat any and everything and not gain weight. They tend to say things like "Well, you can have some of it" or "Oh, you'll burn it off" or " You have to take a break every once in a while". What these people don't realise is that for some of us, it's not that easy. We need to have more structure in our diets in order to succeed and "one little piece" of a trigger food can send us into an all out binge-fest.

My advise is to just learn to ignore them and make it clear that their way of eating is just not working for you and if they want to besupportive they can and if they don't well they need to step OFF! You are the only one who can or does control what you decide to eat. YOU have to decide to make the decision to not have that "first bite".

you have to confront your SO and lay it on the line. at this point, he is hurting you. you need to be honest with him and tell it to him like this- at this point it's a matter of your health. does he want a healthy, vibrant girlfriend? or does he want to go to your funeral or take you to the doctor to get your diabetes meds?

tell him you understand he isn't doing it on purpose, but that it hurts you. and it needs to stop.

You definitely have to put your foot down if you want this bad enough. Different people need different fuel for their bodies. His can survive on junk. Your body cannot. Let him eat that crap, but YOU eat what YOU need to eat. Don't be bullied into eating junk just because you can't speak up for yourself. Put your big girl pants on and fight for YOU!!! If this means you have to make your own meals while he makes his, fine.

my SO was also very unsupportive of my weight loss at first, in the end i had to sit him down and explain that this was important to me and tell him exactly what i needed from him to support me. e.g. when i come home from a run and say how much i've done he needed to share my enthusiasm, to stop putting sweets, chocolate, biscuits etc infront of me all the time and to realise that i cannot keep eating junk and lose weight at the same time. since then he's been trying to find ways to support me such as helping me figure out a new playlist to keep me moving. i'm sure he loves you and only wants you to be happy, just talk to him calmly and explain how you feel and what you'd like him to do to support not hinder you. good luck x

I recently was watching a show about someone very obese losing weight and in one part they were talking about enablers and how they help people to become obese. I've realized that part of my personal problem in being successful is that there are two enablers in my life who bring junk around or will make me really bad food or tell me "oh, its okay just order pizza" etc. knowing that I'm trying to lose weight and it gets to the point where its pretty much pushing me to very much overeat. My SO will literally go and make me food that he knows I shouldn't eat in huge portion and then put a movie on and minimizes the caloric load and will tell me that I've been eating really well when I haven't been, etc.
I'm addicted to food and the only way I can really stay on track is to only have healthy food around but junk food magically appears everywhere in the house. It's hard to avoid binge eating when specific trigger foods appear in your house.

I know that much of this will make no sense to people who have normal relationships with food. I have binge eating disorder, I'm addicted to food. I know this. So telling me to just eat salad isn't going to help. I need some tips on how to talk to them about it without coming off as confrontational. I have a really hard time with confrontation and I'll usually just wimp out.

this is going to sound harsh, but i want you to be shocked back to reality.

STOP WITH THE EXCUSES!

these people aren't holding a gun to your head and forcing you to eat that food. if you eat that food, then you have only yourself to blame. i know the polite thing to do is accept their offering, but what you have to do is tell them firmly that you appreciate the offer, but cannot accept because you are trying to lose weight. if they persist after that, politely accept the food and immediately drop it in the nearest trashcan for them to see. they will learn to stop trying to force food on you after that. if they get mad at you for being rude for doing that, remember that they are the ones repeatedly ignoring your protestations and trying to get you to cheat on your diet. in short, they started it by being rude to you.

maybe you are too nice to actually follow my advice and throw out their food, but you can tell them that's what you'll start doing if they keep pushing food on you. they'll get the hint sooner rather than later.

I don't feel bullied its more like....I compulsively overeat. And I'll eat whatever is right there without realizing that I'm even doing it to the point of getting sick and its like he can't understand exactly what that means (like not putting a stack of brownies next to me on the couch).

You need to get ahold of your compulsion and learn to stop eating when your full and satisfied and push the plate away. Its hard I know but you can do it. Do it for yourself. Unless he ties you down and shoves it down your throat you still have control over what you eat. So push that plate away. Just do it for yourself. See a therapist if you have to. But ultimately its up to you to say "when".