I am an enormous failure

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  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    You're not a failure until you stop trying. It's hard, I agree. There are times I want to just say eff it. Forget finding a girl, just stay where I am. But I've come too far to throw in the towel.
  • phillips0911
    phillips0911 Posts: 41
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    Sending a friend request.

    How about we refocus all that negative energy on a nice walk, or something calming. Then make a plan to get you back on track. This happens to everyone. It's painful and I know your situation cannot be easy. You need motivation and that's this site is for. :) There is no better time to start than now! :)
  • amandafranks32
    amandafranks32 Posts: 36 Member
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    This breaks my heart, I know to some degree what you are feeling. Have you tried antidepressants and the drug Topomax? I have seen that this can help people conquer eating issues. It is shown that some people use food to self medicate and that these drugs can counter the urge to binge, I think that whatever you do, you need to know that from this point things can get so much better! When you feel hopeless it is hard to imagine going on or that you could ever feel better but it is actually possible! I will say a prayer for you...,
  • justrunjon
    justrunjon Posts: 30
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    Your not a failure until you quit! you have lost 100lbs before you can do it again! be a winner because they never quit!
  • ImprovingEla
    ImprovingEla Posts: 396 Member
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    Please do not let the number on the scale hold you back from reaching out to others.
    I saw your photos and was like: huh? he cannot find a girl? You look really nice and kind, so please give the girls a chance, maybe she is out there and just has no clue how to approach you!

    I will send you a friends request and hopefully make this a little easier to be around!:flowerforyou:
  • Icon699
    Icon699 Posts: 8
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    Man, don't be so down on yourself. I was 33 and nearly 400lbs and found a wonderful woman who eventually became my wife. I'm now 41 and this fall was 415lbs my wife is still with me! I decided that was enough though. I purchased a concept 2 rower and I've been givin er *kitten* for almost two months now. I've lost 17lbs so far (I know all you out there will say it's just water weight, but I don't care). Hearing your story is inspiration though as you did lose a tremedous amount of weight. If done once it can be done again. There's no time limit on this stuff man, like they tell smokers don't quit quitting. Well, don't quit on yourself, you obviously have what it take to do this, so DO IT!
  • AmberJo1984
    AmberJo1984 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I am so sorry you feel this way. I know you said "no lecturing", but I want you to hear just one important thing... please don't give up on life. There is so much more to life. And, I am sure that there are so many people out there that love you. And, probably someone out there that you still just haven't met.

    And, before you say I don't know how you feel. No... I don't know exactly how you feel. I don't know about being 400+ pounds. But, I have been 300+ pounds. I have been raped. I have been abandoned. I have felt self-hatred. I have felt worthless. I have felt like trash. AND... I have attempted suicide twice since 2007. I am thankful, though, I was stopped both times... and I finally found the help I needed. It sounds like you may need to see someone as well. Please... don't give up. Try one more time. There are many people out there that understand how you feel... and that will help you. I am one of them. If you need a friend, I am just a message away.

    Weight loss is not easy. It is hard. It is brutal. It is exhaustive. BUT.... IT IS WORTH IT!!! Please don't give up.

    God doesn't create failures. You only fail if you quit trying.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    I just wanted to say you have a great resource here, and tons of people for support! I have seen some amazing success stories here, and I'm lucky enough to be friends with several amazing people who have lost over 100 pounds. Yes, it stinks that you have to trod the path you've already been down because you regained the weight, but you did it once and you can do it again!
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
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    I really don't know what to say. You are not a failure. Love happens to all kinds of people. It just has to be the right person at the right time. There is someone out there for you. Never give up!!! I agree with some of the others that said you need to go and get some professional help with your depression.

    Again Never give up!!!!!
  • Love_flowers
    Love_flowers Posts: 365 Member
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    Please don't give up. I don't even know you and have not been in your situation but you must do this for your own sake.
    To make yourself happy and content with your life and you can not truly be content if you arent happy. That starts with your body. Don't think WOW I have to lose like 200 lbs or something and feel defeated before you even start.

    Make a plan. A comitment. Figure out how much it is safe for you to lose each week.
    Write down mini goals. Like every 10lbs off could be a milestone. While losing weight you have to work on your confidence etc as well. You can do it. 10 pounds at a time and this time next year you will probably only be half the man you are now in terms of size.

    Be honest to yourself and recognize that there is a way out of this.
    You have to do something for yourself, the best thing would be to make yourself happy and the rest will take care of itself.

    Dont give up. I believe in you.
  • MrsSassyPants
    MrsSassyPants Posts: 223 Member
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    Fill your life up with exercise good eating, counseling and some self help groups! Get out of your own head!!! Fall into bed exhausted and look forward to a new day. Find some real people to share this journey with. Being alone is crap. You have to reach out...make something happen. Put one foot forward and then two. Fake it till you make it....AA, NA
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Today is today, and tomorrow is tomorrow, yesterday is yesterday!!

    Choose your day or learn from all 3???

    What I am trying to get across is you have lots of choices in your life and you MUST make those choices yourself???

    You will have lots of support on MFP and I hope you accept those that have added you as a friend.

    YOU can be where you want to be xxx
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    You are not a failure. Sooooooo many people have experienced this. Gaining, losing, regaining, again and again.Hang in there and be kind to yourself. You seem like a nice person (just a guess after looking at your profile) and there are women out there who will see that despite your weight or skin.

    You know you can do it again because you've done it before. =) Hang in there and just keep doing the next right thing.
  • Stevandv
    Stevandv Posts: 2
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    Like everyone else said. You've got this bro. You've already lost 100 Pounds before ( which is an INCREDIBLE Feat ). Take it one day at a time. Start today. Go outside and walk as long as you can. Watch what you eat / drink. I'm by no means an expert on weight loss. I'm just beginning my Journey so I may not be able to help much as some of these other people on here. But I plan on getting on here everyday. My wife was the one that pointed me to this website and so far it has helped me alot. Just getting on here and imputing my exercises really has motivated me to keep going so far. Add me and we can work through this together.
    PS. Heavy or not you've got to love yourself before anyone else will love you.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
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    I urge you to seek counselling - immediately, as immediately as possible, right now, today.

    You're carrying so much more than whatever weight, and I think you need help to see what's possible. Right now you've got blinders on, your vision is limited by your past experience.

    Believe me when I say the past doesn't have to predict the future.

    Your life can change for the better. You aren't able to see how, right now - you absolutely need direct and personal help with that, please seek it.

    I'm not a counsellor or anything, but you have expressed suicidal thoughts. This is urgent.
  • misalillstead
    misalillstead Posts: 407 Member
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    No, You're not a failure. :( It's hard sometimes, but it can be done! You've lost weight before and can do it again! Like you, I lost weight years ago and gained it all back and then some! But I started out slow... tracking what & when I ate... how I felt and started going for walks. Don't think about the big picture yet, but celebrate the small things. Don't give up!
  • sazzyp1973
    sazzyp1973 Posts: 517 Member
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    You are not a failure. You are here and you can get your focus back. You have done it once so you can do it again. I wish you all the best. Good luck, you can do it!
  • 4mydogs
    4mydogs Posts: 66 Member
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    I hear you, I have sent a friend request, I will be here to help and listen. Many of us deal with food addiction and the issues that surround that. I am sorry that you are feeling so bad today but just by posting you have not given up. I have struggled with my weight for 26 years and gained and lost more than 100 pounds until one day I woke up and saw I was 317. Today I am down 28 pds and I just try to take each day one day at a time and move my body each day, just walking 10 mins can make you feel better. Please know you are not alone.

    Margaret
  • hausofnichele
    hausofnichele Posts: 531 Member
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    If I could just reach through the computer and give you the biggest hug, I would.
  • jetscreaminagain
    jetscreaminagain Posts: 1,130 Member
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    You did something incredibly hard, which means you are capable fo doing things that are incredibly hard.

    I'm sorry that whatever it is got in the way of your awareness, and you find yourself dealing with a set back. However, you can do this again.

    You've gotten some good advice here, I won't really add to it. I do want to offer you this bit of truth, it generally seems most awful in the middle of it. You are in the middle of it. The sooner you plow through and get to the other side of it, the best for you. Try to get there.

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