At what age would you allow your child to use facebook?
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30.......facebook came out when i was a sophmore in college....have always despised it.....i remember the days when every summer we would have pool partys to see what all the girls in school looked like in bikinis....now u just look it up on their facespace.....takes all the fun out of it.0
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Just because you are letting your kids be social outcasts and behind the times doesn't mean it's for all parents. My daughter has, in fact, created her own forums before. She doesn't let random strangers hurt her feelings.
*BECAUSE* we have taught our kids how to use the internet and *about* the internet at such a young age, they are *very* savvy. My daughter is a straight A student who knows how to create her own webpage. In fact, when some "mean girls" were saying mean things to her on one of her forums, she created a brand new forum and brought her friends with her. She is above all the petty drama of a typical kid because we have raised her that way.
Putting your kids in a bubble will not protect them. Giving them tools and knowledge is what keeps kids safe.
We talk about *everything*
Yes, and being dismissive of your child's pain (whether physical or emotional) is hardly a good thing. Like I said. I really hope they are never, ever bullied online. I really do.
You need to have a conversation with my daughter. She will straighten you out! :laugh:
I'm guessing that your kids are still small, so you still have a LONG way to go to make them strong and emotionally healthy. Here's a hint: learn a little bit about the psychology of a bully and teach that to your kids.0 -
Well I dont have kids.
But I was 13 before my mom would allow me to have Myspace (way back in the days when it was cool)
I probably wouldn't even want my children to have a Facebook, or whatever website happens to be "cool" when they're growing up. I see the *kitten* that gets posted on there. Not appropriate.0 -
Legally they can have one when they turn 13. That is when my son got his, and when my girls will get theirs. I have full access to it, know their password, etc, and have final say who is on their "friends" list. Computer access in general needs to be closely monitored due to the heap of bad stuff on the net.0
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AgreedEveryone knows facebook isn't cool anymore so I would do my kid a service and just not allow it.
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13 That is FB guidelines and when I allowed mine to join. I have their passwords and I know what goes on but I let them join when they hit that age. Maturity should factor in though. I felt they were mature enough to deal with it. So far they have proven me right.0
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My 7, 9, and 11 year old daughters have FB accounts. I have their passwords and they are only allowed to be "friends" with immediate and extended family. They are only allowed to log in to their accounts on my desktop computer or my wife's laptop. My two year old is too cool for desktop computers. She only uses tablets.0
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don't have kids...had a fb account since 13, but my parents and school taught me a hell of a lot about online safety...they've never had my pw, I once added my mum on fb...had to delete, she's back though...never accepted people I don't know etc, my fb sends me a message with a secret code whenever I try sign in, it also tells me where in the world I'm logged on and I can sign out from home, oh and I change pw every 3months, keep friends list below 200 etc. :bigsmile:
whenever they are ready and aware of the dangers and how to keep safe and minimise these dangers and you have that trust0 -
Just because you are letting your kids be social outcasts and behind the times doesn't mean it's for all parents. My daughter has, in fact, created her own forums before. She doesn't let random strangers hurt her feelings.
*BECAUSE* we have taught our kids how to use the internet and *about* the internet at such a young age, they are *very* savvy. My daughter is a straight A student who knows how to create her own webpage. In fact, when some "mean girls" were saying mean things to her on one of her forums, she created a brand new forum and brought her friends with her. She is above all the petty drama of a typical kid because we have raised her that way.
Putting your kids in a bubble will not protect them. Giving them tools and knowledge is what keeps kids safe.
We talk about *everything*
Yes, and being dismissive of your child's pain (whether physical or emotional) is hardly a good thing. Like I said. I really hope they are never, ever bullied online. I really do.
You need to have a conversation with my daughter. She will straighten you out! :laugh:
I'm guessing that your kids are still small, so you still have a LONG way to go to make them strong and emotionally healthy. Here's a hint: learn a little bit about the psychology of a bully and teach that to your kids.
HAH! I totally read that as: Teach your kid to be a bully and they'll be fine!!!
I just don't think kids are ever as strong as we think.
I was a 'strong' kid and I harbored a LOT of secret hurt. I guess because I pulled the wool over adult eyes I know how easy it is to do! 0 -
Just because you are letting your kids be social outcasts and behind the times doesn't mean it's for all parents. My daughter has, in fact, created her own forums before. She doesn't let random strangers hurt her feelings.
*BECAUSE* we have taught our kids how to use the internet and *about* the internet at such a young age, they are *very* savvy. My daughter is a straight A student who knows how to create her own webpage. In fact, when some "mean girls" were saying mean things to her on one of her forums, she created a brand new forum and brought her friends with her. She is above all the petty drama of a typical kid because we have raised her that way.
Putting your kids in a bubble will not protect them. Giving them tools and knowledge is what keeps kids safe.
We talk about *everything*
Yes, and being dismissive of your child's pain (whether physical or emotional) is hardly a good thing. Like I said. I really hope they are never, ever bullied online. I really do.
You need to have a conversation with my daughter. She will straighten you out! :laugh:
I'm guessing that your kids are still small, so you still have a LONG way to go to make them strong and emotionally healthy. Here's a hint: learn a little bit about the psychology of a bully and teach that to your kids.
HAH! I totally read that as: Teach your kid to be a bully and they'll be fine!!!
I just don't think kids are ever as strong as we think. I was a 'strong' kid and I harbored a LOT of secret hurt. I guess because I pulled the wool over adult eyes I know how easy it is to do!
You need to adjust your reading glasses then.
Here's an article to get you started: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200910/big-bad-bully
Once your kids are old enough to grasp this concept, then they will be able to handle any bully, whether in real life, or in cyberspace. Seriously, I advocate ALL parents to learn a little bit of psychology. I've taken abnormal psychology as well as child psychology. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way.0 -
kids will find a way....
i should know, i was once one....
for instance....
the 12 year old goes to their friends house (parents at the friends house don't care if they go on the net)... your 12 yr old kid makes up a facebook account.. voila..
This is why I have all of her friends as friends on my page (I know more about them than she does lol), and occasionally search all of their pages for anything that resembles her (just in case she uses a fake name).............. My poor kid. I was such a wild child..... she will never slide one past me. You cant out fox the fox.
I don't know, I just don't think it's that easy, especially when some kids have 500 friends, as when I first started facebook I had 600 friends.. friends of friends of friends... hard to keep track at that point. Gotta give your kid some credit when it comes to being smart, I know I was pretty smart in outsmarting my parents.. haha.
I just find it being almost impossible with cell phones, computers, fake email addresses being acquired in a snap. Don't get me wrong, if I have kids, I'd try my hardest to monitor as well, but those who say they don't allow their kid to have one til this age, that which what kids can't have, they try their darndest to get.
Well..... in my situation..... my daughter does not have internet on her phone, nor does she have picture messaging. She does not have regular access to a comuter (password protected plus internet nanny), and when she is using the computer I am in the room. As we live in a small town, her friends do not have that many friends..... Again- its a small town and there isnt much going on that I dont know about. Now, that may sound ignorant, but its true. (I have connections lol) I feel fairly confident, that in MY situation, she does not have the opportunity to start a fb page without my knowledge. I would bet money on it. And if she ever did the itch to do so, I trust that the fear of God thats been instilled in her from a young age would suffice.0 -
You need to adjust your reading glasses then.
Here's an article to get you started: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200910/big-bad-bully
Once your kids are old enough to grasp this concept, then they will be able to handle any bully, whether in real life, or in cyberspace. Seriously, I advocate ALL parents to learn a little bit of psychology. I've taken abnormal psychology as well as child psychology. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way.
I've taken courses in psychology as well. I don't presume it makes me an expert.
Anyway. Thanks for the chat. I figure we've probably derailed this enough.0 -
My daughter is 7 when she gets a facebook page.....When and if she gets a facebook page I feel like I know the tricks of the trade so it is more like me being prepared and her knowing that I will punish her for any misbehavior. I can get a fake facebook account just as easily as she can.
Bullying is a whole other subject. If we had facebook when I was in highschool I might have been suicidal so I will just have to see what kind of kid my kid turns out to be. No set age on this question.0 -
My son was allowed to activate a FB account when he went to middle school, but mom knows all his info, reviews his page regularly and reserves absolute control over the account, including instant friend deletion, such as the 12 year old who posted videos of herself twerking this past summer.....0
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You need to adjust your reading glasses then.
Here's an article to get you started: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200910/big-bad-bully
Once your kids are old enough to grasp this concept, then they will be able to handle any bully, whether in real life, or in cyberspace. Seriously, I advocate ALL parents to learn a little bit of psychology. I've taken abnormal psychology as well as child psychology. A little bit of knowledge goes a long way.
I've taken courses in psychology as well. I don't presume it makes me an expert.
Anyway. Thanks for the chat. I figure we've probably derailed this enough.
:laugh:
I taught my kids at a VERY early age how to deal with real life bullies. Internet bullies are just random bits of data in cyberspace.
Teach what you know to your kids, and don't be afraid of technology. :flowerforyou:0 -
kids will find a way....
i should know, i was once one....
for instance....
the 12 year old goes to their friends house (parents at the friends house don't care if they go on the net)... your 12 yr old kid makes up a facebook account.. voila..
This is why I have all of her friends as friends on my page (I know more about them than she does lol), and occasionally search all of their pages for anything that resembles her (just in case she uses a fake name).............. My poor kid. I was such a wild child..... she will never slide one past me. You cant out fox the fox.
I don't know, I just don't think it's that easy, especially when some kids have 500 friends, as when I first started facebook I had 600 friends.. friends of friends of friends... hard to keep track at that point. Gotta give your kid some credit when it comes to being smart, I know I was pretty smart in outsmarting my parents.. haha.
I just find it being almost impossible with cell phones, computers, fake email addresses being acquired in a snap. Don't get me wrong, if I have kids, I'd try my hardest to monitor as well, but those who say they don't allow their kid to have one til this age, that which what kids can't have, they try their darndest to get.
Well..... in my situation..... my daughter does not have internet on her phone, nor does she have picture messaging. She does not have regular access to a comuter (password protected plus internet nanny), and when she is using the computer I am in the room. As we live in a small town, her friends do not have that many friends..... Again- its a small town and there isnt much going on that I dont know about. Now, that may sound ignorant, but its true. (I have connections lol) I feel fairly confident, that in MY situation, she does not have the opportunity to start a fb page without my knowledge. I would bet money on it. And if she ever did the itch to do so, I trust that the fear of God thats been instilled in her from a young age would suffice.
yeah i could see parents having an easier time when living in a smaller town, but as for me living in a city of more than 180,000 population, with a school of only 4 grades at 2500 students... the parents would have a bit of a harder time monitoring such things you discussed above...0 -
Maybe high school. Although, I rather my kid be out and about.0
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Around 12/13, but I would have to have their password until they were about 15. I wouldn't go on it, but the idea that I could might stop them from doing something wrong aha
But then again, I don't have kids yet so I may change my mind :-)0 -
Agree! People who think they are going too set an age and monitor everything are delusional.
Please. Technology is one of the easier things to monitor. Just because they might find a way to sneak around you does not absolve you of your responsibility as a parent.
This. Its much harder to track down a keg party.......................
Really?! When all of their friends have their own computers and cell phones and email addresses and fake names on their facebook accounts and God knows what else? Um okay. Probably I'm just clueless
Most people have no idea how easy it is to evade all the traps. Unless your're an IT expert, working in the field, you probably don't really know. Your kid already knows how to erase their history and all that stuff. they know more than you think, they talk to eachother at school, they tell each other how to do things. Geez, you guys are really super naive. But, it's OK. It's just better if you face that fact and understand that it's likely going to happen. they are better with this stuff than we are. they are growing up with technology being ingrained with their lives. I'm pretty good at IT, I work in it, but, I think my kids are inching ahead of me. For them, technology isn't an addition to life, it is part of life. There's a huge difference. I grew up when all this stuff was being created. But, they are gorwing up with it already existing, and they ask interesting questions about why can't "this kind of thing" just happen. I tell them that it probably will one day. They don't care about how difficult it was to get everything to where it is now, they only look at it now and see it as archaic.
it's amazing. Your kids are going to blow your minds, to be honest. If you think you're going to stay on top of it by monitoring them and restricting them, all I can say, is you should probably face the fact that there will be things you will never know that they are doing. It's just the way it is.0 -
Most people have no idea how easy it is to evade all the traps. Unless your're an IT expert, working in the field, you probably don't really know. Your kid already knows how to erase their history and all that stuff. they know more than you think, they talk to eachother at school, they tell each other how to do things. Geez, you guys are really super naive. But, it's OK. It's just better if you face that fact and understand that it's likely going to happen. they are better with this stuff than we are. they are growing up with technology being ingrained with their lives. I'm pretty good at IT, I work in it, but, I think my kids are inching ahead of me. For them, technology isn't an addition to life, it is part of life. There's a huge difference. I grew up when all this stuff was being created. But, they are gorwing up with it already existing, and they ask interesting questions about why can't "this kind of thing" just happen. I tell them that it probably will one day. They don't care about how difficult it was to get everything to where it is now, they only look at it now and see it as archaic.
it's amazing. Your kids are going to blow your minds, to be honest. If you think you're going to stay on top of it by monitoring them and restricting them, all I can say, is you should probably face the fact that there will be things you will never know that they are doing. It's just the way it is.
I agree with this actually. Anyone who thinks they can 'monitor' or 'restrict' their child's internet interactions is being naive. Your kid knows how to get around your monitors. Your kid knows how to cover their tracks. Heck, your kid probably knows how to hack into NASA's computers.
The sooner you realize this, the more horrified you'll be by their behavior online. :P
*speaking as a former online terror and parents worst nightmare on the internet*0
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