I am an enormous failure

BTW print off all these comments and post them ALL over your dark house. Print them off on bright colorful paper and hang them up everywhere! the bathroom, closet, mirror, everywhere

BTW print off all these comments and post them ALL over your dark house. Print them off on bright colorful paper and hang them up everywhere! the bathroom, closet, mirror, everywhere

That's a great idea!

Well, I will friend you and try to motivate. They way I look at weight is...you can either do something about it or not. It is up to you... Start today. Take a 15 minute walk and make a plan.

She is RIGHT!!...Make a plan, take small steps..one day at a time. Dont think back to your struggles,leave them behind you and try not to look too far ahead or your plan may seem out of reach. Remember ,one day at a time. I kept "falling off the wagon" and then giving up on myself. You cant punish yourself for it , you just find the strength to hop back on and move forward..Keep us posted, you will want and need support and friends...This isnt easy but it will be rewarding

Tough journey my friend. I hope that you find it in you to continue the fight. You can do it. Friend me if you like. So far you have lots of supporters in this thread and I would be glad to help out as possible.

Oh my goodness! Trust me, I know exactly how you feel and you are NOT a failure. There is a reason that God still has you here. Your mission on this earth is not complete yet. I've always told people that I can succeed at anything that you put before me EXCEPT for this doggon weight. It is my cross to bear! But after a while I realized that I wasn't truly serious about it and I was trying to lose the weight for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to look like others, I was competing with others, I was doing it because I wanted men to look at me the way they looked at some of my friends or I was doing it because someone told me to do it. But guess what? Not once was I doing it for ME! I never had self-motivation until now and I've been struggling with weight since elementary school. I'll be 30 next year.

What I'm saying is that you have to want this for YOU and nothing or nobody else! Trust me, love will come in due time. Things don't always go according to OUR plan. But before you can love anyone else, you have to love yourself. I made the decision in February of this year, that I was going to take my life back no matter how long it takes and I've lost almost 40 pounds now. I would've never in my wildest dreams thought that I could lose 40 lbs on my own because I've never done it before. But I decided to take it one day at a time and to do it for me. I didn't care if my husband got curious or my friends picked at me. This is about me. And eventually, everyone else started falling in line with me and saw that I was serious. PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP ON LIFE! I'm begging you. Trust me, you can do it. You are still young and you are very handsome. You just have to show yourself some love and most importantly get that self-motivation going. This journey WILL be our testimony one day. With love...

Oh--I so can relate to that feeling! But you are not a failure! Keep trying! This is your life! For me, deciding that I'm going to do it for me--and live my life today--even though I'm not at the weight I want to be! I'm working hard on -- doing me -- living my life, making choices my way, owning my mistakes--and living the next day! I'm so sorry that you are lonely! What can you do about it today??? I'll friend you here and you can decide. Hang in there friend! You can do this!!!!!

First of all, I want to say that I think you are incredibly brave to post something like this. Sure the internet is basically a place where you can be anonymous and not worry about having to deal directly with people's reactions but serious, I would've never been brave enough to put it all out there for everyone to see. So kudos for that. And I don't think it came of as whiny or in search of pity. More than anything, I think this was a cry for help - and obviously this has been heard from the tremendous response. I hope all the new found support from friends helps you! And if you want more, feel free to send me a friend request.

Second, I applaud you for getting out there and being social and hope you keep that up as well. Although we do tend to be a society of pretty trumps personality, truly good people will see you more for what's inside. It may take some time and effort but I don't believe you'll be alone forever as long as you keep putting yourself out there.

As others have said, you're not alone. Although I've never been as heavy as you, I had made several dieting attempts and although I'd have temporary success, none worked for me long term. Three years ago, something clicked and it all made sense all of a sudden. Here are a few things I realized I'd learned along the way and was ready to put in place:

1) I realized that deprivation was the source of my failure. With all the diets I was on, I tried to starve myself or go without certain foods and live on dumb things like salads (sorry, they just don't do it for me) so I was miserable and hungry the whole time. This time I would make better choices but still eat the foods I enjoy, keep the portions low and exercise to work off the difference. These foods include pizza, chocolate, chinese take-out, cookies, etc. These foods aren't healthy but they're not "bad" either IMO. Find a way to make them work and you'll be happier and stick with it longer.

2) I realized that skinny peple aren't just lucky. They may be in their teens and twenties because most of us have crazy high metabolisms at those ages but now I'm in my 30's and no one is lucky like that anymore. So I started observing friends, family and co-workers who I perceived as healthy and slim like I wanted to be and I learned something. They eat right and stay active 90% of the time so that they don't have to worry about the occassional treat, happy hour, party, holidays, etc. Special events are part of reality - you can't avoid them but you try to make good choices and not worry too much if you have a couple mini eclairs at the company luncheon because you'll work them off in the gym later (ior even tomorrow).

3) Find an exercise you enjoy and push yourself slowly. A lot of folks try to go gung-ho from day on and of course that will lead to burnout. They also force themselves to run every day even though they hate running so of course after a while they just give up. Even if it means that you do 10 minutes of 3 different things in the gym and maybe feel foolish - who cares?! You're moving and burning calories and that's all that matters. You don't have to be a pro athlete from day one just because you decide to hit the weight room. Take it slow and steady and enjoy the activity!

Above all, think of every change you make in terms of whether you can do it long term or not. A few years ago, I witnessed a conversation between my friend and her mother. The mother was thinking about taking "Ally" to help her lose weight and my friend asked her a very important question "what are you going to do when you're done taking it?" While the point didn't hit me at the time, it popped back up in my head a year or so later and I thought - duh, that totally makes sense! That's why we talk about this is a "lifestyle change". You don't just eat right and exercise until you lose a certain amount of weight because it's likely to come back on. You need to figure out how to do this in a way that you're developing healthy lifelong habits.

Ok, that's all I got. Hope it helps a little and I really hope you're able to stick to your goals this time around.

P.S. I think you're adorable - love those dimples!

Hey there,
You are suffering from serious depression, and you need medical help. Today. Just like a person with diabetes, or near-sightedness, you are struggling with something that cannot be fixed without help. I know you feel hopeless, and you are trying to hang on. Please, please go see a doctor or psychiatrist today and tell them how you are feeling. There are medicines that can help, but be aware that they can take up to a month to take effect. Hang in there! Friend me if you want, I've been there and I've seen the other side. "It gets better"--- for real!

No lecture from me. Just my short story. Been overweight my whole life. I weighed 360 pounds in 2003. With the encouragement of my late husband, and some dedication I managed to lose 136 pounds. Husband passes in 2005. I manage to gain. Back up to 291 lbs by April 1, 2012. ( in between, while gaining, I met my new guy). Decided to try again. Have lost 73 pounds so far and right now I weigh the least I have weighed my entire adult life! Yes there is loose skin..but I'm twice your age! My fiance loves me for who I am, not how I look naked. (even though he does seem to not mind LOL). Anyway, just want to offer a little encouragement... If I can do this, anyone can...You have started..keep it up! I found two great partners and was very overweight when I did! Don't give up..I didn't find my first love til I was 47 years old! Keep on keepin' on!!!:happy:

Weight doesn't matter.
Size doesn't matter.
Loose skin doesn't matter.

If you are unhappy with you - it pours off of you - it surrounds you and sounds like you let it. Work on being happy with YOU. If that's working out, great. If that's painting massive artwork or being a mime, awesome too. Lose yourself in what makes you happy with you! Find yourself. Don't kill yourself with negativity. People who care - don't care about any of those things.

As for love advice - can't help you dude. I don't believe in it. Oh I know I love my family and my friends and I've loved some really awesome people out there who for whatever reason couldn't hack it and aren't here now. Maybe it was my negativity. Don't know. Don't care. Don't need em.

I know how you feel. I lost about 2 stone 2 years ago and now have put so much back on. I feel so depressed about it,
Therefore I will comfort eat to make myself feel better. After trying to struggle with this idea of being fat and feeling horrible for the past few months, I have decided that it is only me who can change the way im feeling, so I am going to try and give this dieting a good shot again.
I feel I owe it to myself not to feel so down and horrible about myself, but I also realise that if people look badly of me just because of my weight they are not worth it.
So remember we are not failures. We can do this for ourselves because we deserve to be happy and feel good.
I am going to add you , so we can support each other.

You are so not alone. This last year sucked, and I questioned my self worth and why I was here. I come home to an empty house too. But believe me when I tell you that God has a purpose for you or you would not be here. Lose the weight for yourself - no other reason. Sending a friend request.

Brian, you are NOT an enormous failure. I read your profile and looked at your pictures. You're a good looking guy, and smart, too. Let me tell you a bit of my story. I was diagnosed as diabetic a couple of years ago, so went to diabetes nutrition classes. My doctor wanted me to attend those classes and insurance paid for it. You might want to talk to your doctor about attending some nutrition classes and be sure you record everything you eat and exercise you do on MFP. It really does help you keep track, but a nutritionist can give you dietary guidelines which are very helpful.

Join a gym, and if you smoke, quit. I quit smoking after 35 years. So happy about that, but I absolutely had to because of the diabetes. I quit during Lent with Chantix. Speaking of Lent, I know it sounds corny, but a church community can offer encouragement and support. The peace and serenity in a church before mass or services begin imprints itself on you, I believe. It is very comforting.

I was doing the online dating thing for a while after my divorce, and got so discouraged, I quit looking for a while. I then resolved that God helps those who help themselves, so 11 years ago, I entered in the word "Catholic" into the search engine and found the most wonderful man. We have been married a little over 10 years and are so so happy and grateful to have each other.

You can do it. You've done it before. My husband and I joined a gym a few months ago, go every other day for about an hour, and have met some really nice people. We view it as a social activity as well as exercise, and only pay $30 a month for the both of us. That's works out to a dollar a day. We joined Planet Fitness under the no obligation plan, because we were not gym people at all, but we absolutely love it now. They have signs up that say "No judgement zone." It's so true.

You can do this, Brian! Go, go, go!

There is always hope. You are alive and capable. Do not stop fighting.

You are not a failure!! You are very brave for posting here.

I am amazed at the outpouring of support out here! I'm relatively new to MFP, but it's good to see so many who struggle like me, and have overcome the battle. Also good to see that we are never "cured". I had a friend tell me once that we can never stop fighting, never stop working at it. Some people may be 'lucky' about not having to watch their weight, I'm not one of them.

You can do it!! We can all do it!! I am so glad I found MPF.