Advice On Saying No?

Saying No gets a lot easier when you stop saying Never.

Have one cookie instead of one bag of cookies. Have a small slice of cake, not three giant slabs of cake. Have one small bag of chips, not a box of 50 small bags of chips.

Log it.

Fit it into your day.

Breathe.

Live.

This ^^ Makes perfect sense :flowerforyou:

Sounds like you use food as an emotional crutch, find a new crutch. I don't have "man it's been a crappy day" ice cream . . . I have "wow look at my macros, I can totally fit it in" ice cream. If you need to use food in a emotional way use it as a reward not as a way to lick your wounds.

As far as the office treats, that's the hardest for me, I'm good unless it's something with a wrapper. Someone else digging in the candy basket it like poop to flies . . . I just can't resist the sound. If it keeps going like this I'm going to start wearing ear phones so that I don't hear the tossing around of the candy in the basket.

Reality Therapy = "Are my actions helping or hurting the goal I set out to achieve?" Ask yourself that, each time you have a temptation and answer yourself honestly.

You don't necessarily have to say no. It's a question of "well, if I DO have this, what will the consequences be?" Either go over your daily calorie count (no bueno!), modify the rest of your meals that day (maybe skip the pasta with dinner), or be sure to stay at the gym a little longer.

For me, what I'm doing is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change. Yes, I measure out all of my portions for each meal I make myself (and sometimes get a funny look from a coworker in the kitchen pouring my cereal and milk into measuring cups). Yes, the actual foods I eat have changed vastly from where I was a few months ago. But yes, I still join my family in their "Friday is pizza night" ritual because I work damn hard to burn off the calories in said pizza so that I can enjoy it without guilt.

You have to allow yourself a treat once in a while. Otherwise, you will end up growing resentful of your plan, abandon it, and binge on crap that's unhealthy and gain all the weight back.

I know that it sounds cliche, but moderation is key. When possible, try to find lighter options, but in other cases, adapt. Birthday cupcakes for your coworker in the afternoon? Great, have half....or have a whole one and make sure you don't skip your Zumba class that day.

'you are not a dog, don't treat (or reward) yourself with food'

Exactly. Tell yourself this - it worked wonders for me. As someone who rewarded herself with food constantly, and as someone with a big yellow lab who laps up every food reward he can get his paws on, this really resonated.

I am not a dog. I do not reward myself with food.

At work, people announce if there is free stuff in the kitchen. I just don't go into the kitchen, or avert my eyes if I need water while there are free donuts or cookies or baked goods there. I also have 100-calorie snack packs at home (chocolate drizzled caramel popcorn? YUMMO!) and skinny cow ice cream cones. I keep accountable by knowing my boyfriend likes to come over and have one, so if I've had too many, someone knows! Everyone saying "try to find a way to fit a piece of chocolate (or whatever) into your day" is right. No need to deprive, fit it in, keep to your portion size.

Have you been making positive food choices that day? That week? Do you have the rest of your day planned out with nutritious food? Do you have room in your calorie count for the day? Are you actually hungry?

After answering all of these questions with "yes" I move on to the next question: Do I think this will be a 9/10 or 10/10 on the deliciousness scale?

If yes, enjoy a small piece! If no, move on. Not worth it!

No means no!

Just kidding. If you are refusing something someone is offering you, a polite no thanks should do. If you feel the need to quantify, you could always go the little white lie route, and add in a "I just ate and I am stuffed!" or a "not feeling so great" excuse. Or you could just be honest and tell them you're working really hard at being healthy and you're not doing treats.

The favorite in my house - 'I don't even LIKE Snickers" (or pizza, or anything else too tempting. We can talk ourselves into anything.

If you are saying no to yourself- go into the reasons why. You are worth more than momentary happiness. Your health is valuable to you. You have goals that you want to reach. You can do anything you set your mind to.

I understand. I have a hard time with "no" also because I always sincerely want to help people when they ask favors of me. I finally had to come to grips with my own limitations. I can't be babysitting AND making political calls on Saturday afternoon, for example. After being taken advantage of once too often and a lot of practice, I can now say "no" to both.

I think I've always been able to say "no" to food I don't want (for whatever reason). Actually "no thank you" with a possible "no is my final decision" if pressured, even "what part of 'no' do you not understand?"

Good luck!

This is so silly. I realize that not eating something I shouldn't should be as easy as "no thank you". But....apparently it's not.

For those of you that have struggled with saying no to the cookies at work, the candy dish, the french fries on your long commute home, the "I deserve this because I had a bad day" ice cream.....

What have you done to convince yourself to stop? I know, just do it.........but that's not working for me. I feel like I need someone following me around all the time to make my food choices for me.

This is so frustrating because I have watched my mom deal with this my entire life, and from the outside, it seems so simple.......help....be kind please, I know how silly this is.

I allow it to make me angry then I use the anger to be obstinate LOL. This probably isn't the healthiest way of dealing with it, I know. But especially when it's coming from a coworker who has been snarking at me (backhanded compliments on my weight loss), I turn it down just on principle, even if I really want it and could fit it in my day, and I think "YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO SABOTAGE ME." Not taking it becomes, in my head, payback for the sabotage attempt. When I'm all alone and no one would know but me, same thing. I get mad at that other me in there who thinks she needs to eat and eat and use food as a reward or a comfort or whatever. Then I take my anger-fueled adrenaline rush to the gym and work it out.

I think this works because I've always tried hard to be myself and do my thing - pressure from friends, or even salespeople, is the best way to get me to do the exact opposite just because they're pressuring me.

I just stop and think and that usually helps boost my will power -

1. What will make me happier? A minute of enjoyment while I eat that cookie? Or seeing the scale go DOWN the next time I weigh myself?

2. Do I have room in my calorie "budget" for the day? If I don't have room, do I really feel like working out again that night?

3. Is that treat something I really love? My work tends to order this chocolate cake w/mocha frosting for birthdays. I'm so so on chocolate cake and hate anything coffee flavored ~ I could eat the cake part while avoiding the frosting and kind of enjoy it, or I can just skip it and only indulge when it's a dessert I really love - like a nice, chewy chocolate chip cookie or some apple pie. If I'm going to go over on calories, it better be WORTH it, you know?

4. Food because I "deserve" it - over feeding yourself is not rewarding yourself. You need to change that mindset ASAP or else you'll be fighting this battle forever. My reward of choice is fancy camera equipment because that's my hobby and I love it - but I can't really afford that -- so instead, I'll take a nice hot bath, read a book or watch something totally mindless on TV to escape. I'm a full time working mom of 2 toddlers - so at this point in my life, time to take care of myself or pursue my interests without distractions is quite a treat.

Mostly, though, when faced with a giant box of delicious donuts at work, I just stop and think. Will eating a donut make me happy? No, not really ~ any happiness would be fleeting at best. Skip it! I do have treats from time to time, I just fit them in my calorie budget for the day.