Is my hubby a saboteur or am I weak?

I don't agree with the advice to ask him to hold you responsible by asking about your calories and whether you really want to eat that. As you are already sensitive (not a judgment) to his role in your weight loss, having him police your food choices isn't going to be good for either one of you. It will just build resentment and insecurity as well as place the responsibility for your choices on him. He can't control what you eat. (I know you didn't suggest that, just responding to some other advice.)

I was staying to included him the the weight loss, having another person hold you accountable can really help keep you on track. For me feeling like I'm letting someone else down is a bigger reason to continue than if I'm just letting myself down. I am not saying have him police her, I saying have him raise the questions for it becomes a conscious decision instead of an unconscious one.

I wouldn't say that your husband isn't purposely sabotaging you as he went and got it after you went to bed. Nor would I say you are weak, you just need to think about it before you eat.

That said you may want to discuss it with him. Tell him he doesn't have to stop, but if you want to eat what he got that he should hold you responsible. You said unconsciously so you need to make a conscious choice. Tell him to make you think about it. Get him to ask you "Do you want to feel happy for a little bit now? Or do you want to be happy later for longer?" "Do you have that calories" "Are you sure you want it" or something to that effect.

Then if you make that choice you must hold yourself responsible for it. Don't blame him and don't say it wasn't a conscious effort.

OMG! I swear I would punch my husband right in the face if he said any of that to me. :laugh:

To the OP, if you eat the right foods and fuel your body with enough calories it makes it a whole lot easier to eat junk food because you choose to and not uncontrollably just because it's around.

I was staying to included him the the weight loss, having another person hold you accountable can really help keep you on track. For me feeling like I'm letting someone else down is a bigger reason to continue than if I'm just letting myself down. I am not saying have him police her, I saying have him raise the questions for it becomes a conscious decision instead of an unconscious one.

I know you didn't mean for her to police her, sorry if my post came off that way. I just think it would be potentially disastrous for their relationship. OP is asking if her hubby is sabotaging her based on something he did after she went to bed. I'm not sure that she'd be able to take him bringing her attention to what she's eating. (Not a judgment either--I couldn't. My husband is included in my health and fitness, but if he ever tried to raise my awareness about my choices as an adult, even if I asked him to, I think I'd feel childish and embarrassed.) Plus, like someone else pointed out, OP will be exposed to temptation and her husband's not going to be there to help her.

I have strong feelings about the food police! I agree that, for me anyway, it would be awkward if someone asked me those kind of questions concerning my food. My boyfriend is completely supportive of me but will offer me treats now and then. He says nothing one way or the other if I eat the treat or not (more often not). But his daughter on the other hand, is a team eater. She always needs a buddy and likes their food to match. So she wants me to eat ramen (a real weakness), cookies, cakes, pies, etc just because that is what she wants. Then when I don't eat unhealthy to match she will sometimes ask me "Are you SURE you can have that on your diet??" Or she will question my calories, etc. It really makes me mad. I try not to judge others food habits or eating and I don't like to feel scrutinized over my eating. I am FAR too sensitive for that!

As for the OP, I don't think it is either. Your husband more than likely waited for you to go to bed to eat something he might have thought you would try to avoid with your new health-focus. And you said yourself you ate basically out of habit. Habits can be broken. I have done that on occasion while cooking. Just without even thinking take a big bite out of something and start chewing on it, then whoops. I forgot I am creating a new habit for myself where I do not chew mindlessly while cooking!

If you went to bed with enough calories left over for a slice of pizza, you are not eating enough.

Eating a slice of pizza is not a bad thing if it fits in your calorie goals and your macros.

Eat your exercise calories. MFP is designed for you to eat them. It's not going over or cheating to eat them.

I've lost 28 pounds since the beginning of September by eating almost every exercise calorie and eating pizza every so often.

+1!

when in doubt spray it all with Windex.

Often when you keep mindlessly eating it means something is on your mind also. If your doing it regularly think about it and see if there's anything you need to work on. An issue that's bothering you etc..

Zara x

dont allow his food habits to take you down...Hubby is probably not watching what he is eating or may not notice the temptations it puts o you... why not train your mind to say I can have that slice of pizza in the am..at least its not sitting in your belly that late at night. Its up to you to control what you want in regards to healthy eating.

I don't see how he did anything wrong. Getting it AFTER you've gone to bed seems to be more considerate than beforehand, imo.

Nobody can sabotage you but yourself.

So, I have dealt with this myself. About a month after I started losing weight my husband came home with a huge pack of candy bars. Not miniatures, full size ones and like 20 of them... I was having a bad day and he told me "I need chocolate to feel better". He was just trying to make me feel better and food is how he always did it in the past., so why not then? After we talked about it he admitted he was wrong and apologized (yes I have a great husband who will do that when he is) and right then and there we decided that if we are going to have junk food, chips, sweets, candy, etc it will be something we buy ONE of them and we will not buy it during our regular grocery trips. Once in a while I cave and he gets a pack of cookies or something. I try to find something that replicates the taste but is lower cal. Like he had cheesecake ice cream and I made sugar free cheesecake pudding with graham cracker sprinkled on the top. You have to get creative.

With your situation, take out can be more difficult because just as you have the right to not have it in the house he deserves to have it around when he feel like it. My husband and I have agreed to go out to eat once a week and have w/e we want to eat. I think that's fair. If he wants to eat that stuff, he does it on his lunch breaks at work and doesn't bring it home. Instead of getting 2 large pizzas and a appetizer, we get one medium pizza and a salad. Its all about compromise.