picture of 4 yr old of what the school calls "Obese"

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  • sahm23ladies
    sahm23ladies Posts: 91 Member
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    My pediatrician told me that as long as my daughter maintained a consistant height to weight ratio over the course of her young years everything would eventually pan out. My last 2 daughters were born weighing over 9 lbs. They maintained the 99%tile in the height & weight categories 'til elementary school where the weight finally started to taper. She looks great. My 7 yr old was sent home with a note that at their health screening at school she was considered overweight @ just under 60 lbs. Your g'daughter is 4... she's got plenty of time to grow. It always seems like my girls get chubby, then get tall, then get chubby again right before another growth spurt.

    I wouldn't let it affect her if possible.

    Good luck!
  • fleur_de_lis19
    fleur_de_lis19 Posts: 926 Member
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    I would tell them to go F**K themselves... next topic!
  • LethainIowa
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    She looks perfectly fine IMO. I wouldn't pay much attention to what a school nurse has to say. If your GD's doctor says she's fine, she's fine. I'm sure she's measured and weighed on a regular basis at her check-ups.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
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    this angers me so much! that child is beautiful and perfectly normal healthy weight range! she might be taller than most and built differently, but totally healthy. I looked exactly like her as a child. I was perfectly fine weight range, just bigger for a girl(i am now 5'8', with a large frame, and child bearing hips as they call them!). when my mom died when I was nine and my dad remarried a yr later the stepmom always said I was a big girl too big. we always ate healthy before, never chips soda, etc. she is who i learned from how to hate my body, to have a constant battle with food, to be a size 20 at age 18.mind you the stepmother was not a healthy example at 250. I still constantly struggle with emotional eating, binging, restricting calories, yo yo dieting, trying to keep away from diet pills. thankfully I have taught my children better. they are all healthy boys. please please please dont listen to them, feed her healthy food, dont restrict her food intake, dont force her to finish her meals when she clearly can tell for herself when her stomach is full, dont give her junk food to replace a painful day, and get her outdoors to exercise! teach her that we can enjoy food and use it as fuel, tell her to be strong, not skinny!
  • _happycats_
    _happycats_ Posts: 105 Member
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    I find it completely ridiculous that people are name-calling the school nurse for sending home what is most likely a standardized letter, based on the results of a recognized set of standards (BMI) which take into account age, height and weight (linked many times on this thread so I don't need to do it again). It's not her opinion. It's not personal. And it's not like they're going to arrest anyone if you don't take the home visits. They classified her as she is supposed to be and informed you of it.

    Many parents aren't aware of the BMI system (and how it changes for children) and don't recognize when their child is a bit bigger than the other children (and I'm not looking at that picture and saying she is or isn't, just making a general statement). Everyone gets offended at this, but it's only in the child's best interest and in an effort to avoid future health problems. There are many more overweight children in the schools now than there were 15-20 years ago and this is simply the system trying to find ways to fix that.

    Please don't take this letter personally, it wasn't an attack on your granddaughter, it's nothing to raise a big fuss over, it's just to let you know that she isn't falling within the standard "healthy" range for children who are her age, height and weight. If you aren't interested, don't take the home visits. If you're concerned about what they said and why they may have said it, take her to see a pediatrician and get a professional opinion, face-to-face.

    Also: Yes, she is cute as a button :)
  • leeann0517
    leeann0517 Posts: 74 Member
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    I find it completely ridiculous that people are name-calling the school nurse for sending home what is most likely a standardized letter, based on the results of a recognized set of standards (BMI) which take into account age, height and weight (linked many times on this thread so I don't need to do it again). It's not her opinion. It's not personal. And it's not like they're going to arrest anyone if you don't take the home visits. They classified her as she is supposed to be and informed you of it.

    Many parents aren't aware of the BMI system (and how it changes for children) and don't recognize when their child is a bit bigger than the other children (and I'm not looking at that picture and saying she is or isn't, just making a general statement). Everyone gets offended at this, but it's only in the child's best interest and in an effort to avoid future health problems. There are many more overweight children in the schools now than there were 15-20 years ago and this is simply the system trying to find ways to fix that.

    Please don't take this letter personally, it wasn't an attack on your granddaughter, it's nothing to raise a big fuss over, it's just to let you know that she isn't falling within the standard "healthy" range for children who are her age, height and weight. If you aren't interested, don't take the home visits. If you're concerned about what they said and why they may have said it, take her to see a pediatrician and get a professional opinion, face-to-face.

    Also: Yes, she is cute as a button :)

    I totally agree with everything you've said and don't understand all the posts that are saying pull her out of school, tell the school to F*&K off, etc.....clearly reading comprehension is a major problem on this thread.
  • handydani
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    I haven't read through all of the comments, so please forgive me if someone has brought this up...

    I recently watched "The Weight of the Nation" series and there was an hour long show dedicated to obesity in children. After watching the show, I learned some interesting facts:

    1) With 2/3rds of Americans being either overweight or obese, it is hard for us to accurately gauge what "skinny," "normal," "overweight," or "obese" is (in ourselves or others) because or society's view of what is considered overweight has changed. That is why we use a BMI scale is used (even with its inaccuracies), because it gives us a universal standard to start with.

    2) Parents are always reluctant to admit their children are overweight (especially if they have issues overeating as well). Most parents feel that society is criticizing their parenting if someone suggests their child is not "perfect." Unfortunately, many professionals are unwilling to bring up the subject of weight with parents, as they do not want to cause offense. Because of this, many children do not get the information and interventions that they really need.

    3) Most adults feel that obesity is just a cosmetic issue (in children especially), however, there are serious developmental and health problems that occur due to obesity at a young age, including diabetes, fat in the liver and fat in the heart. It is not something to ignore.

    When my son was 4, we received the same letter from his Pre - K program. They did not offer to visit our home, but it suggested that we visit our pediatrician, and we did. We discussed his diet and his activity levels and it was suggested that he drank too much fruit juice, as it contained just as much sugar (and calories) as soda. We eliminated it from his diet and substituted water during snack times and his overall body shape improved. I never would have thought that my son was overweight, either (he was shaped like your granddaughter, a healthy pudgy). He is now 9 years old and is within a healthy BMI.

    I would sincerely have the professional come to the home and teach some healthy habits and recipes. The worst thing that happens is that your family learns something new....
  • Lipstickcherry
    Lipstickcherry Posts: 122 Member
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    Please tell me your called your news station? The school may have the best of intentions...but if they see how ridiculous this is, it is a good lesson for them. Nothing does that faster than 100K emails coming to you from all over the whole wide world. PLEASE take it to the news!
  • SparkleShine
    SparkleShine Posts: 2,001 Member
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    Oh NO! She is incredibly adorable and does not look obese in the slightest! Ridiculous!!!!!
  • kiachu
    kiachu Posts: 409 Member
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    Whoa! That is just wrong on so many levels that I'm flabbergasted!

    I really wish the government would get out of our personal lives and stop placing labels on our children. I mean, what kind of message does that send to a child? They should be having fun being a child - not obsessing about their looks.

    My heart goes out to you!

    Maybe if we were better able to provide proper nutrition for our children instead of creating environment where kids are obese and developing type 2 diabetes at alarming rate and suffering from diseases and physical limitation that should only affect aging adults (like wearing of the joints in the knees) then maybe the big evil government and the big evil school system wouldn't feel compelled to have programs like this and our healthcare cost wouldn't be skyrockting because we have adults that are taxing the system because they are falling ill to preventable diseases due to being extremely overweight.

    If my child's school sent home a letter home being concerned about her weight I'd have the emotional maturity to see that they weren't attacking my parenting skills but offering me help if I need it and suggesting their may be a problem. Instead I would clear it with her doctor just in case and take that to the school for the record.

    Not look at it as an easy way to get $$$ through frivolous lawsuits and ruin this poor nurses life, call her names, or threaten her physically or pull my daughter away from the school and all her friends. What would that be teaching her?
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    The bottomw line is that the state got no place intruding in private family life and parenting. Therefore regardless of a childs weight this is inappropriate and in my (generally very informed and accurate) opinion it is basically an itrusion on individuals' human rights (the section about private and family life). That sounds extreme, but putting school and other state authority over that of parents (excluding those who are abuse and neglect their children), is a dangerous road to go down if you care about liberty.

    i agree that parents should have access to free services to help manage the health and weight of their children and the family as a whole, but should only be through self referal, should the family decide they would benefit from it. I think I would thank the school for their concern but tell them that I tske responsibility and care for my child, not them, so I will be assessing and responding to the situation how i see fit. And I would make sure they never ever ever weigh my child again.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    I haven't read through all of the comments, so please forgive me if someone has brought this up...

    I recently watched "The Weight of the Nation" series and there was an hour long show dedicated to obesity in children. After watching the show, I learned some interesting facts:

    1) With 2/3rds of Americans being either overweight or obese, it is hard for us to accurately gauge what "skinny," "normal," "overweight," or "obese" is (in ourselves or others) because or society's view of what is considered overweight has changed. That is why we use a BMI scale is used (even with its inaccuracies), because it gives us a universal standard to start with.

    2) Parents are always reluctant to admit their children are overweight (especially if they have issues overeating as well). Most parents feel that society is criticizing their parenting if someone suggests their child is not "perfect." Unfortunately, many professionals are unwilling to bring up the subject of weight with parents, as they do not want to cause offense. Because of this, many children do not get the information and interventions that they really need.

    3) Most adults feel that obesity is just a cosmetic issue (in children especially), however, there are serious developmental and health problems that occur due to obesity at a young age, including diabetes, fat in the liver and fat in the heart. It is not something to ignore.

    When my son was 4, we received the same letter from his Pre - K program. They did not offer to visit our home, but it suggested that we visit our pediatrician, and we did. We discussed his diet and his activity levels and it was suggested that he drank too much fruit juice, as it contained just as much sugar (and calories) as soda. We eliminated it from his diet and substituted water during snack times and his overall body shape improved. I never would have thought that my son was overweight, either (he was shaped like your granddaughter, a healthy pudgy). He is now 9 years old and is within a healthy BMI.

    I would sincerely have the professional come to the home and teach some healthy habits and recipes. The worst thing that happens is that your family learns something new....

    I posted before but this is spot on. Put your children before your hurt ego.
  • joselo2
    joselo2 Posts: 461
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    I posted before but this is spot on. Put your children before your hurt ego.

    i always would put my child first... first before the schools power trippin!
  • HSingMomto7Kids
    HSingMomto7Kids Posts: 345 Member
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    She is fine!! Trust me I have seen some BIG kids, and your grand-daughter is not that at all!! My 6 yr. old is solid as well. Your grand-daughter is probably less solid than my daughter meaning that my daughter is bigger. My daughter has big thighs and butt, but she is not "obese" at all, or your grand-daughter. Just because there are "obese kids" they seem to categorize all kids unhealthy. Soo sad. The thing is if she is in a school that thinks she "obese" it may get worse for her there. Could schools be switched or questions asked for the school etc.. ? That is absolutely crazy!!! Soo sorry for this!! Also, if you were concerned I would go to the doctor, but I think she is adorable and just fine.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    They sent home a note saying she was" obese" and they wanted a home visit (not my home, her moms home) to disscuss nutrition to control her weight.

    Your granddaughter is beautiful. From the picture, she looks very healthy. The school has no business doing any home visit. If it were me, I'd be finding a lawyer.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    I'm really surprised by all of the defensiveness in these posts.

    Fact: You can not determine whether someone is obese, overweight, underweight etc just by "looking at them". People over and under estimate the weight of people all the time. And if you are using the barometer of other kids you've seen to determine this, good luck with that. Kids don't have to look like mini-sumo wrestlers to actually be overweight or obese.

    I think that people have issues with the term "obese" as it applies to kids, but this child's BMI is > 99% for age and by definition that is "obese". The word itself is so emotionally charged but the definition as used by the school is the correct definition.

    I seriously doubt that the school or nurse told this child she was obese or fat and I don't see the harm in informing the parents about where she falls for her height and weight for her age. Her weight may not be a major issue right now but it could become an issue later if noone is paying attention. So all involved should take this as an FYI and make sure the kid is getting appropriate nutrition and exercise. That's all.

    Perhaps I'm in the minority here, but I really don't get all the outrage.

    ^This. I think there is a huge misunderstanding here with the use of the term "obese" for children. The point of the note is not to call your GD fat, but to let you know that there is a large difference between her weight and height for her age. Personally, I would be thankful that the school brought it to my attention. It might be nothing to worry about, but it may also be something that you need to keep an eye on. I'd discuss this with the pediatrician and measure her again in 6 months. And I'd thank the school! I can't believe some of the comments in this thread!

    yeah that!!

    some of the comments are just ridiculous. You would think that the nurse sat the girl down and said 'guess what, you're obese' when I think we all know that didn't happen. It sounds like the parents and grandmother would prefer to be in denial and get everyone all worked up over the big bad school rather than just take the child to the pediatrician and see if there's really a problem. If there isn't, just send a note back to the school saying you followed up with the pediatrician, thank you for your concern. End of story.

    In denial of what? The child is *NOT* obese. Her BMI is 20.3!!!!!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    <snip>You should be able to clearly see her ribs, can you?

    What a ridiculous assumption. If a small child's ribs are showing, then they are probably underweight.
  • DesireeLovesOrganic
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    Schools have gotten ridiculous! I send my child to school for reading, math, English, science, social studies.....SCHOOL! They shouldn't even be weighing our children. At our school we had to sign a waiver if we DID NOT want our kids to have dental treatment on some nasty dentist bus, are you kidding me?! I looked up the dentist and he had lots of negative reviews and they send this joker to school to treat kids without their parents present? The world has gone insane. Granted I do think making your child obese is child abuse, this little girl is NOT obese. Come to our school if you want to see obese....and those kids are obese because they eat breakfast, lunch, and snacks at the school which is PURE TRASH, think pop tarts and nitrate dogs.
  • wjewell
    wjewell Posts: 282 Member
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    According to what is "normal" for her age, she should be between 40-45 inches and 32-40 lbs..So because she is 44 lbs she's considered "obese"? Sounds stupid. Sounds like these people need to better educate themselves. You know why there aren't calorie content labels on baby food and such? Because they're scared parents will want to put their children on diets. Kids at this age need a little "fat" on them because it's how their body processes and gives them all the endless amounts of energy that they have. Many children actually consume 1800 calories a day, but because of how much energy they have and how much energy they use, it is a healthy amount. I'm just astonished at these people. On a side note, beautiful granddaughter you have <3
  • helyg
    helyg Posts: 675 Member
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    <snip>You should be able to clearly see her ribs, can you?

    What a ridiculous assumption. If a small child's ribs are showing, then they are probably underweight.

    No, the poster that said that a healthy child's ribs show was correct (according to my son's paediatrician anyway).

    All three of my children's ribs show clearly, and they are not underweight.