i need some boy advice!

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245

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  • KeriD
    KeriD Posts: 324
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    PLEASE don't let life pass you by......it is YOUR TURN! Go for it!!!!
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    History with friends is a non-issue. They did what they did, and they're not doing it any more. You ride roller coasters other people have ridden,,,

    My question is - what's wrong with Justin? 2 friends have had relationships with him, and in both cases they didn't work out. How come?

    I've had one serious relationship in my life - my 23 year marriage to my other half, so maybe I'm not a good example.

    I agree! I mean...he's dated 2 girls that are friends...about to be 3 because your going on a date with him..I don't know. Was he aware of how you felt while he was with the other girls..because if he was...then that was kind of insensitve of him..just something to consider.

    im pretty sure he knew how i felt. deena wasnt in the picture from the beginning. she's a newly acquired best friend. and katie and deena dont know eachother. they just both happen to be friends of MINE. lol.

    im not quite sure why him and i never dated before. probably because i was too shy to make the first move like my friends did. but now we've been talking for a while, and its like he's realizing ive been there all along (referring to my romantic comedy movie analogy, lol)
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
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    PLEASE don't let life pass you by......it is YOUR TURN! Go for it!!!!

    THANK YOU! :drinker:
  • Mande_G
    Mande_G Posts: 599 Member
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    <snip>
    I've had one serious relationship in my life - my 23 year marriage to my other half, so maybe I'm not a good example.

    I'm the same way -- the hubby and I have been married for 6 years, but have been together for 10 1/2 years. He's my one and only -- and I'm his -- it's kinda neat. :heart:

    As for the OP -- give it a shot, girl! Third time's the charm, as they say. :wink:
  • stacyoct19
    stacyoct19 Posts: 187 Member
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    Okay. This is just my opinion. Ya know in the beginning when you kind of have a crush on someone, but nothing has really developed??? Unless you just say, hey, I'm really wanting to pursue this, then it could just be a crush. So when your friend asked if you would mind, and you said no, she probably thought that's all it was. And 5 years later, the other friend may have thought you were over that already. And maybe not. Only you know the communication that took place.

    However, as one who tends to avoid conflict. Friends are important, and guys can come and go. I wouldn't just say run after him only because if your friends can do it to you, then you shouldn't feel bad about doing that back. That's not being a true friend either. I would just have a girls night. Sit down, have dinner, and discuss it. The whole story. Not just hey, I want to date him. I would say ya know, 10 years ago I made a mistake. I really like Justin and I told you I wouldn't mind if you guys dated. I should have said something back then. And not that your angry with her for dating him. But that you should have said something back then. Let them know that you have an opportunity about dating him. And ask their advice. You may not like what they have to say. And you might walk away and decide to do the complete opposite. It's ulitmately your choice. But if you really care about how your friends will feel, and that seems to be your biggest concern here, then I wouldn't do anything without discussing the ENTIRE situation with them.

    Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • SugarHi
    SugarHi Posts: 452
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    My only advice is this: You didn't step up to the plate and let your firends know it would bother you if you did something. If you wonder if it will hurt them, then say something. You don't have to ask their permission, but being honest and up front is important with friends, period. Just state the fact and let them swallow the news. Drama is not good for any relationship.
  • bbblue92
    bbblue92 Posts: 108 Member
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    OMG - You have to go for it!
  • haleysman
    haleysman Posts: 48
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    i say tread lightly, as an ex man *kitten*, i can say you might just be another notch in his belt, the 'trifecta girl' if you will...then again it all depends on how serious he was with other 2 girls. many good points made already re: what's wrong with him that 2 of your friends left him...if your friends share alot of your values as friends tend to do, there might be common issues that will also cause you to leave him...although maybe he left your friends cuz he had his eye on you all along and they didn't measure up...i would talk to friends get their 411, then make a decision that ultimately makes you happy, after all it is your life
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Honey - this isn't "boy advice" - this is friend advice. I think it's time that you stopped letting your friends walk all over you... and while you're at it... look at other aspects of your friendship... is this the only time that they've been insensitive to your feelings?

    If you want to date Justin - then go for it. If your friends have their feelings hurt, then tell them you're sorry, but it hurt your feelings when they went after the guy you were interested in.

    Enjoy your date and have a great time! 10 years is a long time to wait!

    EXACTLY ! GO GET HIM! AND RETHINK UR FRIENDSHIPS WITH THESE GIRLS WHO DIDN'T CARE ABOUT UR FEELINGS BEFORE.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
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    GO FOR HIM GIRL!
  • Oompa_Loompa
    Oompa_Loompa Posts: 1,099 Member
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    History with friends is a non-issue. They did what they did, and they're not doing it any more. You ride roller coasters other people have ridden,,,

    My question is - what's wrong with Justin? 2 friends have had relationships with him, and in both cases they didn't work out. How come?

    I've had one serious relationship in my life - my 23 year marriage to my other half, so maybe I'm not a good example.

    I agree! I mean...he's dated 2 girls that are friends...about to be 3 because your going on a date with him..I don't know. Was he aware of how you felt while he was with the other girls..because if he was...then that was kind of insensitve of him..just something to consider.

    im pretty sure he knew how i felt. deena wasnt in the picture from the beginning. she's a newly acquired best friend. and katie and deena dont know eachother. they just both happen to be friends of MINE. lol.

    im not quite sure why him and i never dated before. probably because i was too shy to make the first move like my friends did. but now we've been talking for a while, and its like he's realizing ive been there all along (referring to my romantic comedy movie analogy, lol)

    well just be carefull
  • LCreutz
    LCreutz Posts: 17 Member
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    Bump....I want to know how this turns out!
  • LCreutz
    LCreutz Posts: 17 Member
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    Bump....I want to know how this turns out!
  • KeriD
    KeriD Posts: 324
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    You are soooo WELCOME!
    You are adorable and you should be sooooo PROUD of your fantastic weight loss!!! YOU deserve to be happy! So go tell this guy how you feel and don't worry about your friends, it will all work out!
  • Oompa_Loompa
    Oompa_Loompa Posts: 1,099 Member
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    Okay. This is just my opinion. Ya know in the beginning when you kind of have a crush on someone, but nothing has really developed??? Unless you just say, hey, I'm really wanting to pursue this, then it could just be a crush. So when your friend asked if you would mind, and you said no, she probably thought that's all it was. And 5 years later, the other friend may have thought you were over that already. And maybe not. Only you know the communication that took place.

    However, as one who tends to avoid conflict. Friends are important, and guys can come and go. I wouldn't just say run after him only because if your friends can do it to you, then you shouldn't feel bad about doing that back. That's not being a true friend either. I would just have a girls night. Sit down, have dinner, and discuss it. The whole story. Not just hey, I want to date him. I would say ya know, 10 years ago I made a mistake. I really like Justin and I told you I wouldn't mind if you guys dated. I should have said something back then. And not that your angry with her for dating him. But that you should have said something back then. Let them know that you have an opportunity about dating him. And ask their advice. You may not like what they have to say. And you might walk away and decide to do the complete opposite. It's ulitmately your choice. But if you really care about how your friends will feel, and that seems to be your biggest concern here, then I wouldn't do anything without discussing the ENTIRE situation with them.

    Good Luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    OOO I completley agree with this! 2 wrongs do not make a right.
  • Oompa_Loompa
    Oompa_Loompa Posts: 1,099 Member
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    i say tread lightly, as an ex man *kitten*, i can say you might just be another notch in his belt, the 'trifecta girl' if you will...then again it all depends on how serious he was with other 2 girls. many good points made already re: what's wrong with him that 2 of your friends left him...if your friends share alot of your values as friends tend to do, there might be common issues that will also cause you to leave him...although maybe he left your friends cuz he had his eye on you all along and they didn't measure up...i would talk to friends get their 411, then make a decision that ultimately makes you happy, after all it is your life


    lol ex man *kitten*! well congratulations to YOU for not being one anymore YAY lol
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    update us on this plz~! lol

    I say go for it and also be careful not to have high expectations and then have them crushed on the first date.

    take it easy :)
  • Rev_no_Boosh
    Rev_no_Boosh Posts: 239
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    Go for it! You've already missed two chances. A third chance very rarely comes along.

    I'd also just let your friends know that you're going to do it. While I don't think they should have veto power they probably deserve to know since they were with this guy for extended periods of time.
  • rmccully
    rmccully Posts: 319
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    go for it .
    be honest and be careful
  • jojo2003
    jojo2003 Posts: 2
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    hi little lea, in response to your boy advice, i say if you think you can trust this guy then go for it, but if he knew that you liked him before your frenenemy stepped in and knicked him , then sorry its a no, cos if he knew that you liked him and he decided to go out with your frenenemy regardless, then ask yourself is he worth it. As for your frenenemy, if you still see her as a friend you are good, because she's shown that she's not a friend, she's stabbed you in the back, who's to say she wont do it again, its a case of i dont want him now, but you cant have him either. If you are still not sure, then f--k it, life is too short , give him a go and see if he was worth waiting for, if not bin him at least you wont spend another 5 - 10 years wondering if only!. GET RID OF YOUR FRENENEMY OR KEEP HER AT ARM'S LENGTH.

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