in need of some brutal, honest advice

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  • serena569
    serena569 Posts: 427 Member
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    believe me i eat very healthily, take a look at my diary if you want cos personally i think what I eat shouldn't constitute being underweight. But i realize i am so obviously i'm going wrong somewhere. Most likely the control i have of my diet

    I looked at your diary for today...and it stinks. Yes, you have healthy things listed, but REALLY, 1 spinich leaf? Your "salad"
    likely wouldn't fill 1/2 cup. You shoud be eating 2 cups. You were over your sugar limit, virtually no protein, carbs or fats. You aren't eating Dear, you are pretending and you live in fantasy land.

    You need help of a nutritionist, a decent doctor, and a shrink. Or, we are going to hear on MFP from someone, that you suddenly died.

    Is that honest enough???

    Exactly my thoughts after I looked at a week.

    This is your second topic about eating disorders. I'm no shrink but this is either a cry for attention or a cry for help. SEE SOMEONE.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    It really is OK to eat pizza sometimes (or other junk food). Pizza actually has a decent amount of nutrition to it, though it's high in calories, fat and sodium (unless you make it yourself). You're dangerously underweight. You can afford to splurge. It won't hurt you.

    Should your diet be mostly healthy? Of course. But let go a little, too.

    Good luck. I hope you can get this under control. Feeling the need to control your food the way you describe is a classic symptom of an eating disorder.
  • JustANumber85
    JustANumber85 Posts: 644 Member
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    it wasnt one spinach leaf haha thats an error i promise it was a good 2 handfuls!

    ok another example:
    Sourz - Cherry/Apple , 75 ml 309
    Corona - Original öl, 1 bottle 148
    Captain Morgan - Rum and Diet Coke, 5 drink 300

    thats 757 cals in alcohol that you could of used to eat with.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Well, still, a couple of handfuls of spinach is not very high in calories. It is good nutritionally, but not high enough in calories for your body to function properly. And you body is not functioning properly. So please..... you asked for honest advice and people are giving it..... that is get some help...... not nitpicking with people on the internet about whether you ate 2 leafs or 2 handfuls of leafs. Whatever you are doing it is not enough.
  • AnniePenny
    AnniePenny Posts: 62 Member
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    After reading all of this i'm sorry but i'm thinking you're on denial. If you didn't have an unhealthy relationship with food then you wouldn't even be on this site unless it was on a gain weight plan. I suggest you turn off the computer and run to a nutritionist. This is a big deal, losing your period is a giant sign that you're not healthy and you're not gonna get healthier by eating 900 calories a day.

    I understand the need of "control" but then maybe you can use that same need to gain. Try to eat portions doble in size of what you eat now. Scheduling 5 meals a day (as someone suggested) is also a good idea to feel in control but increase your calories. Use that to make sure you eat around 300 calories on every one of those 5 meals. Even if you're not used to. I'm pretty sure there was a point you were not used to eating so little, you got used to it eventually. This is the same but reversed. You'll feel like you ate too much but that's ok, it will pass. Just remember every time you eat more than before you're NOT getting fat. You wont become a fat person you simply will feel better, fatigue will go away, headaches will go away too, you'll be more focused and energized. So it's definitely worth it.

    That's the piece of advise i can give you, ultimately it is up to you to make the changes. If you wanna live a long, healthy life you gotta wake up and realise that eating this little wont get you there, quite the contrary.

    Try to get some support there either by family or just a really good friend, maybe someone close to you can go with you to the doctor.. All the best wishes from here, but really OPEN YOUR EYES!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    thankyou for all your caring responses. I think you've made it pretty clear to me that i'm not being normal i guess i'm just happy with having found something i can take control of and it's gone a little too far. My friends cooking fajitas tonight, so i guess i'm just going to try and test myself by eating without caring about the calories. thanks again everyone i promise to change my ways

    Look at the Fajita this way:
    If theres a wheat tortilla, use that instead if not limit yourself to 1-2 tortillas. Add more veggies than meat. Hold on any sauces (put them on the side if youll have any) and ENJOY !
    again, WHY? She needs to GAIN weight. Not LOSE weight. Why do people keep pointing out calories to her in a way that suggests she should be counting them right now?? She shouldn't be....
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    thankyou for all your caring responses. I think you've made it pretty clear to me that i'm not being normal i guess i'm just happy with having found something i can take control of and it's gone a little too far. My friends cooking fajitas tonight, so i guess i'm just going to try and test myself by eating without caring about the calories. thanks again everyone i promise to change my ways

    Look at the Fajita this way:
    If theres a wheat tortilla, use that instead if not limit yourself to 1-2 tortillas. Add more veggies than meat. Hold on any sauces (put them on the side if youll have any) and ENJOY !
    again, WHY? She needs to GAIN weight. Not LOSE weight. Why do people keep pointing out calories to her in a way that suggests she should be counting them right now?? She shouldn't be....

    This.
  • jlohcook
    jlohcook Posts: 228 Member
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    thankyou for all your caring responses. I think you've made it pretty clear to me that i'm not being normal i guess i'm just happy with having found something i can take control of and it's gone a little too far. My friends cooking fajitas tonight, so i guess i'm just going to try and test myself by eating without caring about the calories. thanks again everyone i promise to change my ways

    At that weight and age, honestly, why are you even controlling your intake? I'm 5 ft 3. Was 100 pounds in my teenage years, and very much my adult years and I was having a great time enjoying my food, not an ounce of fat spilling on my sides, cos when young, metabolism is great. Wait till you reach an age where metabolism slow down, well, thats when great control is required just to keep those fats off.

    Go....enjoy life, enjoy food..........

    By the way, .I know a friend who is hospitalized for the past few weeks missing from holiday cheers, family, her 4 kids, because she is not eating enough, very much laking in iron, body simply refuse to work, she was in denial for a long time, I still remember the first time she was hospitalized, she was worried about her abs! .its more important to eat a balanced diet, for long term health benefits. The body needs all the good nutrients to work properly. You are young, enjoy.....
  • fope5
    fope5 Posts: 20
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    Okay so i went out tonight I had 2 fajitas with salsa salad and chicken,then rum and diet cokes. After everyone went takeaway, i didn't get anything but when i got back in just now i had 2 weetabix and a handful of muesli. Is it bad that i felt guilty after that?

    I realise i'm being paranoid. This is ridiculous that after a night out i'm coming back and typing on this. I really dont want to admit to anyone of my family and friends that i'm being so obsessive, i used to have OCD and i managed to overcome that on my own. I sound really attention seeking on this but it's just because i don't want to turn to anyone else i like the comfort of being anonymous.

    So sorry, last question: If i up my calorie intake to 1,600 a day and did like 100 push ups a day would i put back on some weight i needed but ensure i maintained some muscle and didn't just become flabby, or do i need to join the gym
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    People die from what you're doing to yourself. Your major calorie intake is alcohol and you're not getting any nutrition. Go eat a hamburger! Then go see a new doctor.
  • cparkburke
    cparkburke Posts: 27 Member
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    Please go to a new doctor and say this: I am 5'3" and I only eat 900 calories a day (but sometimes I drink 600 calories of booze). I only weigh 6 stone 11 pounds. My periods have stopped. I have a hard time "loosening control" of my eating.

    Please.

    This is the best advice I saw posted. Please see a doctor and just tell them the facts. You can also tell them that you used to be OCD and you worked through it on your own. This way, you won't have to guess what's wrong or try to fix it all by yourself.

    I don't know any doctors who would try to diagnose you through an online forum post. It's typical for low calories to cause fatigue and menses problems, BUT you might be missing other issues that may be revealed in a physical.

    Please make an appointment as soon as you can.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    Okay so i went out tonight I had 2 fajitas with salsa salad and chicken,then rum and diet cokes. After everyone went takeaway, i didn't get anything but when i got back in just now i had 2 weetabix and a handful of muesli. Is it bad that i felt guilty after that?

    I realise i'm being paranoid. This is ridiculous that after a night out i'm coming back and typing on this. I really dont want to admit to anyone of my family and friends that i'm being so obsessive, i used to have OCD and i managed to overcome that on my own. I sound really attention seeking on this but it's just because i don't want to turn to anyone else i like the comfort of being anonymous.

    So sorry, last question: If i up my calorie intake to 1,600 a day and did like 100 push ups a day would i put back on some weight i needed but ensure i maintained some muscle and didn't just become flabby, or do i need to join the gym

    Honeybear, you have an eating disorder and you are committing suicide. Stop asking about gyms and calories and weight loss and GO GET F*CKING HELP FROM A DOCTOR BEFORE YOU DIE.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    I'm signing off of this thread. I've said what I believe to be important.

    Best of luck with your eating/self esteem/health journey.
  • eatathome
    eatathome Posts: 81 Member
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    You don't need to just go to your friend's and try to eat a fajilta. Or just try to go to a new doctor. You need to get thee to a program that specializes in eating disorders. You already meet the diagnostic criteria for Anorexia Nervosa (yes, I have a graduate degree in psychology).

    You need to do this as soon as possible.

    I've been going through this crap since I was a child. I've recovered, relapsed, recovered, relapsed, recovered, relapsed. One of the best friends I ever made was in treatment: she died 2 years ago. She was bigger than you.

    This stuff's no joke, and it's not something you can figure out by yourself.
  • lizzyholiman
    lizzyholiman Posts: 15 Member
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    I am struggling through the same stuff here. Think of your body as like a car (dont' drive so this'll be interesting): Your tank needs to enough "feul" to last you at through the day while also having enough energy to keep your body functioning healthily and such. Your body burns through about 1400 cals a day or more depending on your bmi just to keep you alive. If you go to the gym or go out for a walk you're gonna need even more calories to make sure that you're body has enough fuel to keep it running.
    You missing your period is the first major sign that something is WRONG. Your body is saying that it is starving so much that it could not carry a baby if needed. I was shocked when I first missed my period last febuary and I still have not gotten it back. It only gets worse and worse. Your hair will become brittle and fall out in giant fluffballs like you're some sort of cat and your kidneys will begin to shut down because you are starving yourself so badly that your body will literally be eating itself to keep you alive. You become depressed and confused and have no idea what is real and what is in your head.
    Do not just find a doctor. Honestly when I went they just told me "yeah you're body's screwed up." and gave me some recommandations for ED clinics. Find some sort of ED clinic (I've gone to the Emily Program).
    Prevent the monster from consuming you. It makes you forget who you really are anymore.
    There are days that my mom and I will just sit on the couch and cry. We will just sit there and cry because my Mom hates seeing me do this to myself and I am so scared that I feel like I have no control. It is a lot of work to climb out of this hole but i know it can be done.

    my rant is done. I can understand your reluctance to tell your fam and friends: No one really does completely understand but since they love you they will always be there to support you.
  • jlohcook
    jlohcook Posts: 228 Member
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    Okay so i went out tonight I had 2 fajitas with salsa salad and chicken,then rum and diet cokes. After everyone went takeaway, i didn't get anything but when i got back in just now i had 2 weetabix and a handful of muesli. Is it bad that i felt guilty after that?

    I realise i'm being paranoid. This is ridiculous that after a night out i'm coming back and typing on this. I really dont want to admit to anyone of my family and friends that i'm being so obsessive, i used to have OCD and i managed to overcome that on my own. I sound really attention seeking on this but it's just because i don't want to turn to anyone else i like the comfort of being anonymous.

    So sorry, last question: If i up my calorie intake to 1,600 a day and did like 100 push ups a day would i put back on some weight i needed but ensure i maintained some muscle and didn't just become flabby, or do i need to join the gym

    Good start on the eating, enjoying food. As said metabolism at your age is high, not likely that you become fat or flabby, if you are just eating enough. And exercise does not mean u gotta to join a gym. I didn't and no need to, even tho I can easily afford. I just exercise as and when I want to, where I like, at home, by the river. At your age, you probably do some activities like dancing, play some sports with friends, swimming? That's more than enough exercises. 100 push up? Really, if u can do that, u must be really muscular if u can do that.

    Anyway, Don't let all these counting of calories and trying to be model skinny become an obsession. There's more than life than this.

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