People who are married and have lost weight...

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  • Luvr2502
    Luvr2502 Posts: 26
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    I was 122 lbs when my husband and I got together. We have been together four year and in the course of that time, I have had two children. During all the weight fluctuations he would still tell me that I looked sexy. I have to tell you though, when I do lose weight, it is very noticeable with him. He won't leave me alone... ever, lol. I think the sexiest you can be to your spouse, is the size you met them at.
  • 86rollyb
    86rollyb Posts: 72 Member
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    My husband doesn't care at all... I told him the other day that I only had 2 lbs to go until I am back at pre-pregnancy and his response was 'huh'. Or I told him that I ran 2.5 km without a break & I got the same. He complains about the food once in awhile but he's starting to enjoy the healthier food... Although he does keep a box of ice cream sandwiches in the freezer for himself, lol. He used to bring home things like egg mcmuffins for me when he worked nights but he stopped after he watched me put one in the fridge b/c I had oatmeal :p The most supportive thing he's said to me about weightloss (& this isn't the first time I've done this) about 2 months ago we saw a very overweight woman pushing a stroller & he said "I'm so glad you didn't let yourself go" :-/ i do wish he would be happier for me when I'm clearly excited about my progress but I'm doing this for me, not him :p
  • Luvr2502
    Luvr2502 Posts: 26
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    Let me preface this by saying my husband loves me very much, always has. He never once said an unkind word about my weight gain. I've lost 70 lbs and through strength training/heavy lifting, have completely transformed the shape of my body. Though the weight loss itself wasn't so hard at first...the emotional part of it has been the biggest struggle.

    As I've lost the weight and started rediscovering who I am, inside, caring for myself again and putting myself first, I've come to expect MORE from my marriage than I had before. I had become too complacent and agreeable to everything the past decade...and lost a part of me, due to lack of self-esteem and confidence. As those things continue to grow within me, I have more courage to stand up and tell him what I need and want in my marriage. THIS has led to some difficulties. Furthermore, my libido is off the charts and his is not...more disconnect. :/

    I wish I could say the weight loss has done incredible things for my marriage but the truth is, it has done incredible things for ME. I think I've become a bit more selfish than I was before...which some might say I NEEDED to be and others might say that I'm married, there's no room for selfishness. That's a tricky convo.

    He sees my drive and determination and that sparks an interest in him to persevere and get healthier (he's not unhealthy but he'd like to eventually have a six-pack that he's never had in his lifetime). But he's not always on board in terms of regimen and he eats a LOT of sugar and other crap....and when I see this, sometimes I allow myself the justification for me as well. So we kind of cycle off each other in terms of our eating habits and tightening things up.

    Anyway - all in all - I feel a million times better about myself...which means I actually enjoy going out again (so we now have date nights once a week) and I'm more agreeable to trying new things that I never would've even considered before when I was 220 lbs (i.e. rock climbing!). This isn't a "new" me....this is the same me that he fell in love with 14+ years ago...finally re-emerging. Overall, I think he's quite pleased...but now I want something more. Something I can't quite put my finger on...but we're working on it, and that's all that matters.

    Good for you!! It is good to have all that self confidence again. If he loves you he will understand or try to understand that this just means you have a healthy self image again. When it comes to eating, ignore what he eats. My husband is a toothpick and eats nothing but pizza, chicken tenders, sausage and any processed food you can think of. He weighs 145, less than me. I used to feel like if he could do it, I could do it, and that is how I gained my weight in the first place. That is my best advice... ignore what your husband and kids are eating, because it is trouble.
    Weight loss does make you a little more selfish and demanding, like you were before the weight gain. My husband loves my sassy attitude. He tells me, that's what he loved about me in the beginning. It varies from relationship to relationship.
  • kathyl05
    kathyl05 Posts: 67 Member
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    This topic really hit me. My husband is very supportive about many things and I think he is glad I have lost some weight. I have to admit, he is not the most supportive while I am attempting to lose weight. I think it may be that he is a creature of habit and enjoys our traditional fattening date nights over a bottle of wine. (OK..I do too!) I definitely do better with my diet and exercise while he is working.
  • kathyl05
    kathyl05 Posts: 67 Member
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    Ha! So true!
  • jrtcw
    jrtcw Posts: 128 Member
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    Hmmm. Lots of interesting stories. What a range of experiences. DH has always seemed to "find me attractive" but at 40 lbs heavier than when we got married and 30lbs heavier than when we met (yes, I lost 10lbs for our wedding) I wasn't feeling so attactive... He has been brilliant about buying healthier food in the supermarket (he does the food shop in this hosue) and he accepts that I eat smaller portions now and will eat the fish/protien but much less rice/potato/pasta than I used to. Has also accepted that I now usually don't have a cake with my coffee if we are out etc. He is 6ft tall and eats lots, he has a fast metabolism and seems to be naturally lean....He walks a lot as part of his journey to work so he is pretty fit too I think. He has been a massive support as I am working through C25k, though setting the alarm for 6 am so that I can 'run' three times a week before the children are up and we have to go to work has been a challenge.
    I think because I am now doing something about the weight gain rather than just moaning about being fat an unfit has meant lots of support. I have tried really hard not to bore on about calories etc but to quietly get on with things. He wants me to be healthy because he wants me to be around, and being more 'active' is a bonus...:wink:
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
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    My wife thinks i'm getting in shape to leave her.
    True story.


    very interesting...


    ...several weeks ago my husband said something to the effect of " I almost wouldn't mind if you stayed fat..." I asked him why, and he said "so I wouldn't have to worry about who you might be meeting up with". It kinda hurt. To me it said that he wants me fat so no one else will want me :( He's just going to have to trust me though. It isn't about him, it is about me. I want to be the best *I* can be.
  • Allfor3
    Allfor3 Posts: 18
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    I haven't lost much weight yet, as I just started. I am sad to say that my hubby of almost 10 years isn't very supportive. He is super thin, and athletic. He eats like crap though. He drinks a ton of sodas a day and doesn't care that is is hard for me to resist with them right in the fridge. He doesn't like to watch the kids so I can work out.. He is also very self concious of other non-weight related things so he is afraid that I will leave him when I am happier with myself..
  • Goal_Driven
    Goal_Driven Posts: 371 Member
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    I'm in a serious relationship of 2 years and 4 months :) lol, we have lived together for a year and half now and are completely comfortable with each other. He'll eat whatever I make for dinner, which is what I want to make that's delicious and healthy and he doesn't have a problem with it, however, he will eat multiple servings while I stick to my one serving which is fine since he is not on a "diet" and doesn't have any desire to be. I don't pressure him to eat healthier since that is a personal decision and you have to want to.

    It hasn't changed our relationship.. why should it? It's only food and I haven't changed my personality just because I've droped some lbs. I'm doing this for me so I can be healthy. My appearance doesn't change who I am so all is good.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
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    My husband always tells me he's proud of me on weigh in day. Tells me i'm insane with some of the dvd's I do. But nothing has changed. He loved me when I was huge. He loves me when I'm tiny. It's all the same to him. If I got huge again, still nothing would change.
  • LisabethG
    LisabethG Posts: 24 Member
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    Im down 40 lbs since Jan, and my husband is awesome about my weight loss! We went to a funeral recently and his
    friends told me he brags about my success all the time. He buys me all my new clothes, ( I only work part time so he
    doesn't seem to mind footing the bill for clothes that fit me now.) He encourages me and never
    fuss's when I leave for Zumba or to go for my walk. I am hoping he joins me some day, but suffers from severe leg pain
    most days. He is a keeper, that's for sure. :smooched:

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