Need help from sarcastic people!

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  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    Happy Birthday!! If the Maya are correct, we have 18 days left to live...if i were you, i would spend those days drunk.

    ETA: I just read your post about the canceled trip. I wouldn't even get her a card. TBH, I wouldn't be in contact with her at all anymore.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    Ah, OK. I was wondering what you meant by typing "friend" in quotes, preceded by "quasi" in your original post.

    Now I see that you simply misspelled "lying *kitten*" - sometimes autocorrect can be tricky on smart phones.
  • dsmpunk
    dsmpunk Posts: 262 Member
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    Good luck getting help from us.
  • BlackStarDeceiver
    BlackStarDeceiver Posts: 590 Member
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    datable-beard-man-meme-generator-i-m-gonna-cut-you-up-a-piece-of-delicious-birthday-cake-911b7a.jpg
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    Happy Birthday, or did you lie about that too *****? oh BTW....Continental called, they want their mile high club card back since you didn't actually go.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    On her birthday tell her you forgot her card and you'll bring it the next day. The next day, hand her a piece of notebook paper with "Happy Birthday" scribbled on it.

    Inside it says: I looked at some really nice cards for you at the store, but all my money is tied up in a trip I couldn't take so here's something special and hand made.

    PS: You look old.

    Then sign it and use glitter and hearts.
  • Skittlez_
    Skittlez_ Posts: 95
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.


    "Since you lied and basically screwed me out of a grand, all I got you for your birthday was this lousy card. Have a great birthday"
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    I bought these really nice boots for you, for your birthday, then I realized that they looked better on me. ( But I guess you would need to buy some nice boots).
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    photocopy your receipts from airline, etc., write "Happy Birthday" on them.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I have to write a birthday note to a quasi "friend" of mine that needs to sound somewhat meaningful, but not too much. Something more than "Happy Birthday", but not a bunch of sappy crap.

    Ideas please, and don't hold back....this is a no-present bd too. Not a lot of $$ to spare.
    You're giving a b-day card to someone you don't like and can't even suck it up enough to say something nice?

    Don't give her a card. Or just buy something generic and sign your name and be done with it. If I were this friend. I would prefer you didn't bother.
  • samigirl25
    samigirl25 Posts: 18
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    How about...

    "Happy Birthday, liar"

    HAHA. This one gets my vote.

    I also like something to the tune of...

    "I was going to get you a card, but all my money is gone bc of the trip." Write it with some crayons on a piece of printer paper.
  • reallymyBEST
    reallymyBEST Posts: 242 Member
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    Came across a bday card this wknd that my bro had sent me almost 30yrs ago. He was in HS and I in college. My 10yr old nephew thought it was hilarious and my bro even remembered giving it to me.

    Something like, "Helen Waite & I got you a bday present." *open card* "So if you want your gift from me, go to Helen Waite!"

    Oh, yeah!
  • MzMiller1215
    MzMiller1215 Posts: 633 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    Oh hell no!! She would be lucky if she even got a damn birthday card! Smh!!

    Send a text message wishing her a happy birthday. That is all.
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    Silly question.....Why didn't you go without her......
  • Shannon2714
    Shannon2714 Posts: 843 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    Ah, OK. I was wondering what you meant by typing "friend" in quotes, preceded by "quasi" in your original post.

    Now I see that you simply misspelled "lying *kitten*" - sometimes autocorrect can be tricky on smart phones.

    ^^^


    Yeah, I wouldn't get her *kitten*. She's not even worth the card.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
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    Congratulations on this anniversary of your vaginal breach. I'm glad you emerged the right way round and with the correct number of limbs.
  • bellygoaway
    bellygoaway Posts: 441 Member
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    Happy Birthday, I hope you enjoyed the gift I gave you. I thought it would come in really handy on the airplane coming back from Costa Rica.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Happy birthday, your not special but here is a card anyways.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    Happy Birthday, or did you lie about that too *****?

    YES
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    "Happy Birthday. You owe me a grand."

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