Need help from sarcastic people!

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  • _Bob_
    _Bob_ Posts: 1,487 Member
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    I've got the perfect gift for an girl

    QgJUL.gif
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
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    My standard birthday greeting goes something like this:

    Please send my thanks to your mother and congratulate her on the no-doubt challenging task of expelling you from her body. I hope you have an excellent time celebrating the anniversary of your successfully working your way through the birth canal and out of her vagina.

    If I happen to know the mother's name, I'll address portions of it specifically to her.
  • Dsmcgrail
    Dsmcgrail Posts: 75
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    Money's tight, times are hard, so here's your f-ing birthday card!
    Happy Birthday!
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.

    Dear XXXXXX

    You would be getting an awesome gift right now but I decided I'm still going to Costa Rica!!

    I'll send you a post card!

    Happy Birthday!
  • nbhobbes
    nbhobbes Posts: 284
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    My standard birthday greeting goes something like this:

    Please send my thanks to your mother and congratulate her on the no-doubt challenging task of expelling you from her body. I hope you have an excellent time celebrating the anniversary of your successfully working your way through the birth canal and out of her vagina.

    If I happen to know the mother's name, I'll address portions of it specifically to her.

    Thats great!
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    That makes it easy. "Since I blew all my money on my non-vacation, all I could afford for your birthday was this crappy card. Happy Birthday!"
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Happy Birthday -- cause for celebration somewhere.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    Let me give you a background. We were supposed to take a trip to Costa Rica (girls only vacation), after purchasing the airline tix, splitting the hotel costs, bus fares, ect...I spent almost $1K on my part, she emails me and tells me she can't go (b/c she suddenly could not afford it). I found out later that she never bought the airline ticket in the first place...lied the ENTIRE time.

    I didn't get my money back on anything (airline..thanks Continental) and hotels.. So it's safe to say that I'm still a little miffed at her.
    That makes it easy. "Since I blew all my money on my non-vacation, all I could afford for your birthday was this crappy card. Happy Birthday!"

    Send a post card:

    Happy Birthday -- Don't wish you were here, or anywhere.

    (I personally would let it go.)
  • gailmelanie
    gailmelanie Posts: 210 Member
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    "You didn't die for a year, congratulations on your amazing accomplishment."
    Hey, I say this quite seriously to a lot of people on their birthday! Not sarcastic at all!
  • wheldar
    wheldar Posts: 42
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    My take: I would have bought you a present, but since I lost $1000.00 on the lost trip, I cant afford you at this time...
  • wheldar
    wheldar Posts: 42
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    Money's tight, times are hard, so here's your f-ing birthday card!
    Happy Birthday!

    I'm gonna use this in the future...GREAT!!!

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