One innocent Kiss and my whole day is ruined...
Replies
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I usually tell them "No thank you" with a smile.
If they push I tell them "I'm working really hard to lose weight, they look good but I'd rather be happy later for longer"
If they go for the "Oh one won't hurt you" I honestly get a little pissed off but hold my cool and even try to add a laugh it off kinda feel "One probably won't but if I ate something everytime I heard that I would be right back to where I started. I really don't want to be there again. Thanks for the offer though"
I have only had ONE person go father than that. Most seem to understand, laugh with me. The one person who went father I turned into a ***** with them. At this point the person said that I was being offensive by not accepting their homemade treat. She brought them in as a goodbye before leaving work and tried guiltiing me into eating them. I said something along then lines of "If you are forcing food that I don't Want, Nor do I need down my throat them obviously I don't mean that much to you and therefore I frankly don't care what you think of me. You are being offensive not me." Their face turned to a look of shock and then what happened sunk in. She apologized and said I was right and it was wrong of her.
I have another co worker who thought it was funny leaving snacks at my desk to tempt me. I told him repeatly to stop and One day he left a donut... so wrong....
I told him (nicely) to go get it off my desk and please not to do it again. I said if he ever does i again it will go in the garbage. He said "But what about starving children in Africa!"to which I responded "They will still be starving whether or not I eat it" He never did it again.
A few other things to keep in mind:
1) Most people will respect you for having the strength to say no, if they don't then they usually at least understand to some point and if they still don't then their feelings are not worth worrying about. Saying No is not a weakness, it is strength!
2) Are you eating something just so you don't have to throw it out? Guess what you just admitted your body is a garbage can, start treating it better.
3) Do you want to be happy now for a little bit, or happy for longer later?0 -
Once you get use to saying NO then you can be completely truthful. It's all a mindset.0
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You do need to change your thinking a bit! If people are hurt, because you say no, due to trying to lose weight, then THEY have the problem, NOT you!!! Most people won't be hurt by it though! If you explain it to them & they understand how important it is to you, then they will stop offering! It will then get easier to say no more often, once you start doing it. But, if you do except the treat, just count the calories & continue your day like normal & if needed, cut the caloric intake elsewhere! DO NOT blow the rest of your day just due to a small piece of candy or whatever it might be! Kick yourself right back in gear! I know it sounds easier said then done, but when you start doing it, it'll become easier...I promise!!! Good luck with your goals
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There is no logical reason why one or two chocolates should allow you to totally ruin your day. Enjoy them, and immediately get back on track. Take control of yourself.0
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Why do you feel bad turning down M&Ms? It's not like someone slaved for hours in the kitchen to make you specifically those M&Ms. Evaluate why you feel so bad turning down food. Most people won't take offense I promise.
Even if someone did spend a ton of time making something special, you can still enjoy a small piece of it. At get togethers I'll often cut myself small pieces or halve normal serving sizes. That way I get a taste without overeating.0 -
I just say no and remind myself that more snacks=bigger slacks.So I need some advice (would appreciate no sarcastic comments, but this is MFP so I'm sure there will be a few)...
I am the worst when it comes saying No to offered food. Especially now that its the holiday and everyone wants to share their treats. I can usually not turn down offers and feel guilty. I mean I'm still the fat girl. I was handed M&M's today, and of course out of obligation and "appreciation" I ate them. I didn't need them. I wasn't hungry, but I ate them despite my internal voice saying NO. I also sometimes use these offer as an excuse to binge because "I'm going to blow it anyways." When it isn't part of my plan it really throws me off track, and I usually feel like I've F'ed up the whole day.
How do you cope with these offers?
How do you keep from letting these unexpected offers, these treasures, these treats from taking you off plan?
Do you accept the offers and limit yourself to a few, or do you completely deny them?
I know this is a just say "NO" type question. But with me this is literally an internal battle and struggle and one stupid M&M or a chocolate hershey's Kiss placed innocently on my desk can set me up for a night of binging and self sabotage. It's like leaving a little crack nugget on a crack addicts desk.
Thanks to all you lovely MFP'ers for your help.0 -
Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time.
Really? Ever had anything made with real butter? Skinny is for meth addicts!0 -
My trick for the holiday season is to limit myself to one sweet thing per day. So, if I have 2-3 hershey's kisses in the morning, that is it for the day. Most of the time what I'm being offered isn't something I really want anyway. So, I politely decline so that I can save my "treat" for something I really want. For example. I love donuts but I didn't have one at work on Friday because I knew I'd be going to dinner at a great restaurant and I wanted to make sure I could have dessert. If its something that I don't LOVE, I just tell myself not to eat it because I might have the opportunity to have something that I absolutely adore later on, and wouldn't it stink if I'd wasted my treat on a twix?0
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Op I know the feeling. I have the same problem.
However, if people hand you food you have a right to turn it down. If you simply can't turn down the food (it's hard I know.) You have a choice not to eat it. Take it home and enjoy it later.
However, if you can't turn down the food do more at the gym. Get more calories.0 -
My coworkers bring me that stuff all the time, despite my telling them that I really don't want it and am trying to live healthier. M&Ms here and there won't hurt. But they bring it at least once a week (brownies, milkshakes, tacos…). It really hurts their feelings when I decline, so I take it then I flush it down the toilet when they aren't looking. I used to do the same thing when my boss would buy me shots- I'd toss them into the potted plant at my desk
Works great- I don't end up eating out of obligation and they don't get sad puppy faces.0 -
dont punish your self and just count them in your calories, i love M&M and almost eat them 2-3 times a week and still losing weight0
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I lnow how you feel..its called food addiction. Once the bad stuff gets in its like opening the flood gates. The only real solution is to try to find your own inner strength and kick those binges in the *kitten*. If you do go crazy and binge just log it and forget about it! Start fresh the next day and get that *kitten* to the gym. Lol I have lost 104 so far and i've had plenty of those kinda days. I use to get down on my self about it but I realized this is life and its never gonna be easy or perfect just try to have more good and healthy days than bad ones.
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just say NO.. its that simple.. who cares if you offend the other person.. just say NO..0
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i really identify with your feelings OP and i didn't find very many of these comments helpful.
i am the exact same way. it's a mental thing and i do believe it is a kind of eating disorder that has to do with a lifetime of weight issues. you eat one 'indulgent' thing and you feel like you must keep going you blew it anyway.
best thing to do is say no thank you. or accept and throw it away immediately. don't even eat one.
don't let others dictate where when and how you reward yourself. you will feel a loss of control which will lead to a downward spiral.
from what you described i think you might have to tell your coworkers you are dieting even though that may be the most difficult thing to do and kind of embarrassing. i had to break down and tell my friends eventually that i was monitoring my diet and not eating sugar because i could not keep making up excuses as to why i couldn't go out to dinner.
now they don't bring me candy or make a fuss when i don't want a bite or sip of something.
just say 'no' it's the only way if you have these type of self sabotage issues0 -
"YOUR WHOLE DAY IS RUINED?" :sad: .....AW Geez cut the drama you big sissie. Eat the damn things, log it in your diary, and plan out the rest of your daily meal plan. Aint no big deal unless you make it one.
I eat a Butterfinger (fun size, 85 cal) every day and I enjoy the hell out of it.....In fact, I just might eat another one now cuz Im irritated. :laugh:
I dont restrict myself from too much. Check out my diary - Im losing weight with one hand tied behind my back...just dont get on my bad side, I have a big bag of Butterfingers and I wouldnt hesitate to eat a few of em in front of you :drinker: .....0 -
look back over your diary. one little kiss isn't what's sabotaging your plan. beer battered fish and chips is what's sabotaging you. delicious, creamy dressings are what's sabotaging you. wine is what's sabotaging you. you are sabotaging you!
you need to start holding other people less accountable for what goes in your mouth, and start looking at number one. barring life or death type scenarios, nobody can make you eat anything you don't want to.
i've looked at your profile, you've lost over 50lb, so i can only assume that you know the things you need to do to make the scales drop. do them! and do them consistently! if you're doing the right thing 90% of the time, a little (LITTLE) slip here and there won't matter, and you won't be wracked with guilt because you'll be able to think 'oh well, that's one mouthful out of many', rather than 'oh shoot, another bad day. pass the salt'.
sorry if i sound mean. i don't mean to be. i have off days too, but i pick myself up and get back on track. someone before me said 'if you mess up, the most important meal is your next one'. if you let these things snowball, you'll look like a snowman 0 -
The real question is this...do you love that type of chocolate? Is it a favorite or just ok? If you love it, one chocolate kiss won't kill you. Indulge and log the calories. You can spread it out over the day. There's no reason not to enjoy if they are a favorite. If they are not, I'd just say "No thanks" and tell yourself they really aren't that great OR offer yourself an alternative treat when you get home that would make it worthwhile.0
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Unless someone has baked you a super special cake with your name frosted on to the top of it.. I don't really think that you friends, family or co workers will be offended by you saying NO THANK YOU to a treat.
Good luck!!0 -
The real question is this...do you love that type of chocolate? Is it a favorite or just ok? If you love it, one chocolate kiss won't kill you. Indulge and log the calories. You can spread it out over the day. There's no reason not to enjoy if they are a favorite. If they are not, I'd just say "No thanks" and tell yourself they really aren't that great OR offer yourself an alternative treat when you get home that would make it worthwhile.
good point. i meant to include something like this in my post, but got a'ramblin and forgot.
don't waste your treat budget on crap chocolate. if i'm going to go nuts on a block of choc, it's gonna be lindt.0 -
"YOUR WHOLE DAY IS RUINED?" :sad: .....AW Geez cut the drama you big sissie. Eat the damn things, log it in your diary, and plan out the rest of your daily meal plan. Aint no big deal unless you make it one.
I eat a Butterfinger (fun size, 85 cal) every day and I enjoy the hell out of it.....In fact, I just might eat another one now cuz Im irritated. :laugh:
I dont restrict myself from too much. Check out my diary - Im losing weight with one hand tied behind my back...just dont get on my bad side, I have a big bag of Butterfingers and I wouldnt hesitate to eat a few of em in front of you :drinker: .....
I just check out your diary and I have to say someone giving you a few M&Ms is not your problem; please disregard the previous post. I just cant think of anything to say that you dont already know. Hope you can get a handle on things. Good luck.0 -
Accept it gracefully and then re-gift it! Someone will appreciate it. Or ... put it in the lunch room for the taking.
You're brilliant.0 -
Accept it gracefully and then re-gift it! Someone will appreciate it. Or ... put it in the lunch room for the taking.
That's what I do in the teacher's lounge! In five seconds food will be gone. I call it the piranha pond.
Ugh... to think I used to binge in there all the time.0 -
I have no problem turning down an innocent Kiss. It's the not-so-innocent ones I have a hard time turning down.0
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I've begun to enjoy the look on people's faces when I says no to offers of extra snacks. It takes them a moment to realize that I said no because they so expect the fat girl to say yes! Then I mentally pat myself on the back and smile because I had the strength to say no. Each time I am able to resist temptation, I stop and take notice of how I feel. It feels GOOD, and I let myself feel that. It creates a positive feedback loop that makes it easier to say no the next time too. It's now become habit to say no, unless its something really special.
Then there's the saying "what you're looking for isn't in there". The first Kiss is about how delicious chocolate is, but by the 5th or 10th or 25th Kiss, its not about how good it is, its about something else and even 100 chocolate kisses isn't going to help.
Having said that, I refuse to give up chocolate. I average 50-100 calories worth of chocolate almost every day. I keep my favorite basic chocolate in the freezer, so its always something i LOVE, and it helps me from feeling deprived. However, if I couldn't stop at a small portion, I wouldn't keep it in the house.0 -
When someone offers me food, I quickly calculate in my head if I can "afford" it or not...how many calories? Is it homemade or packaged? If it is homemade, I will probably turn it down because it is harder to log accurately. If it is packaged, I consider it. Once you get the hang of that decision, it takes less than 2 seconds to make up your mind.
Once my mind is made up, I say yes or no. The yes is obvious. The no can be more difficult. I try not to let people guilt me into food. If they push the subject, my favorite line is "sorry, I'm allergic to _____". They don't need to know it's my thighs and not my throat that swells!
Keep in mind, sometimes people push food on others to make themselves feel better about their choice. They probably KNOW there are better choices than candy, but it's easier to do something you really shouldn't be if you drag someone else along. You refusing makes them look at it and say "hey, maybe I shouldn't eat this either". A lot of people don't like that. But, that is THEIR issue, not yours. You continue to do what's right for you.0 -
Just tell yourself. Nothing tastes as good as skinny will feel !! Helps me most of the time.
Lies.0 -
I think you answered the question yourself. Normally, I would say, have a little. There's nothing wrong with having a small taste. It eliminates the whole 'I'll never get to eat these again!', and encourages a strong lesson in portion control. But how you worded your post? It's as if those sweets are your crack. And in those cases, I would never tell a recovering addict to try a taste. They'll plunge right back.
So there you have it. Take the offer, (if it makes you feel bad for saying no), then, turn right around and give it to the closest skinny person, or someone that isn't in your situation. Spread the cheer!0 -
But back to the one little treat causing a whole day to derail, look at this way. If you ran a stop sign on the way to work would you think to yourself, "Aw, screw it, I already ran one, I may as well just run every stop sign or red light come on for the rest of the day."
If not, why would you do exactly that to yourself after eating a piece of chocolate?
I like this!! I tend to be all or nothing, so this is a great way to keep things in perspective.0 -
You've already lost 51 lbs, which is FANTASTIC. Every time you feel tempted, think about how you're going to feel another 50 lbs from now and whether or not that binge is worth it or not.
I also think developing a healthier relationship with food is a necessity for you. One piece of chocolate should not send you into a binge. If you struggle to get control, it might be a good idea to seek counseling to work on that behavior and to help you cope with those feelings.
Best of luck to you!0 -
I usually just say no, but like a PP said, eating a handfull will not ruin the day and you should not feel like you've blown it...I always have healthy snacks in my desk and fridge at work, too!0
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