Embarrassed to get fit?
daniel7121
Posts: 166 Member
Not sure if I'm the only one with this problem so I thought I'd ask.. Long story short, I am sort of embarrassed for people to see me attempting to get fit. I live in a small town of 2,000 people, so everybody knows everybody. And everybody knows everybody's business. And for some reason, when I am out in public for a walk or a jog, I pray and hope that nobody I know will see me. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Anybody with similar feelings?
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Replies
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Do you exercise nakkid?
Otherwise, no.0 -
Not sure if I'm the only one with this problem so I thought I'd ask.. Long story short, I am sort of embarrassed for people to see me attempting to get fit. I live in a small town of 2,000 people, so everybody knows everybody. And everybody knows everybody's business. And for some reason, when I am out in public for a walk or a jog, I pray and hope that nobody I know will see me. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Anybody with similar feelings?
I live in a really big city so being unseen isn't actually a problem for me, however I do fully understand your situation. I've had friends offer to come the gym with me and always make my excuses. I get quite embarressed at my personal level of fitness so wouldn't want anyone to see me turning purple when I'm trying to catch my breath on the treadmill!!0 -
OK Daniel, I also live in a small town of 1800 people and everyone knows everyones business. But you know what I don't care because the bottom line is, I not only want to get fit bit I need to be fit for my health. And when it is all said and done there are more people who nneed to get fit in your town and mione so you go on and get out there and walk, you never know someone might join you or take a leaf out of your book and try to get fit and healthy too.0
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I feel the same too, but I cannot explain why. I push myself by thinking that I am doing something positive and that everyone should be inspired by what I'm doing.0
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I think it's because in a smaller community everyone starts making comments when they see you trying to change your habits. People say the dumbest things!! I got through all that then there are the ones who don't mind telling you that you've gotten too thin. It happens....and there's nothing you can do about it. I think once you've made up your mind to get healthy....NOTHING and NO ONE can undo your determination. All of the people who will see you working out will eventually make their way over to ask how you did it or if you can help them reach their goals. Keep going and be proud....you will be the talk of the town but believe me...it won't be a bad thing!!
Good luck!0 -
Stick with it, walk, jog, lose weight, get fit and just maybe you'll inspire some of those other 1,999 people in your town to do the same.0
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I relate ... I am paying a fortune for gym membership and besides having a hard time finding the time to get to gym, I don't like the thought of people seeing me on the treadmill or bicycle. But, I think its important to remember that we're trying to do this for 'us' and not 'them' and at the end of the day - why are we giving 'them' so much headroom :-)
Lets make a deal - you go for the walk today and I'll to gym and we'll put it down to simply knowing that we are worth it... and as Coffeholic8 we may just inspire someone else to get off the sofa.0 -
Dread seeing someone from church at the gym but it happens so rarely I just do it anyway!! Understand what you mean though!!0
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I had to join a gym, I was sick of ****heads making comments while I was out walking/running (mostly from moving cars, there's bravery) because I was both embarrassed and starting to feel unsafe. I've found a new place to jog though, well-lit and I'm dragging various friends along with me, so I can get fresh air with my cardio and keep the gym for strength work!
Go with a friend if you can, or borrow a dog so you have an 'excuse' if you need it, or throw on a hoodie and put your hood upm you'll get past it if you can push through it!0 -
I had the exact same problem ! I would never tell people I was trying to lose weight.
I think in my head, to actually vocalise my goals at the start of my weight loss, would have been admitting there was a problem, that there was something wrong me. It was also because I never really believed that I would accomplish any of my weight loss goals and to admit my intentions would bring scorn upon me.
I've realised since then, 99% of people will be positive, screw the other 1%, Go for a jog and wear the sweat proudly, suffer the small indignation now, then reap the rewards in the future.0 -
I'm frequently self-conscious in public/social settings, and especially so when it involves physical fitness. I once dropped a weight-training course because the football team shared the gym with us one day, and I felt really uncomfortable - mostly because I was watching them check out the 'cute' girls.
It can take effort to get into the right headspace for overcoming this particular obstacle. Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable with a workout buddy? A fitness pal, if you will.
If that's not an option, I've had some luck setting goals beyond the exercise - for example, walking around the block once on my way to shop for groceries - as a way to help shift my focus away from awkward concerns about how I look to others. Headphones are also an effective way to get in the zone and block out distractions.
With a little experimentation, I'm sure you can find the inspiration that works best for you. And don't forget you've got a fan club rooting for you on MFP!0 -
I felt exactly the same as you, Daniel, when I started back in September. I live in a very small village, in a close-knit community, but only told a couple of friends who I knew would be supportive what I was doing. Fortunately, there are footpaths round the fields around the village, so I'd take the dog for a walk/run there, but even then I was very nervous about seeing people. The good thing is that if you stick with it, your fitness will improve quicker than you think. Three months ago, I could barely run for 60 seconds; now I can do 30 mins. Back then I felt almost like a fraud - pretending to be a runner, when I knew inside I really wasn't one. Now I can hold my head up high, knowing that I'm doing this for me, and it's working. And you know what, quite a few people have said that they've seen me out running - and although it was embarrassing for me at first when they said it, not one person has said anything negative or teasing, but everyone has been positive, encouraging, and even (occasionally) admiring!
So, go for it. Hold your head up high. You can do this.0 -
I live in a pretty small village - everyone is not only known by everybody else, but half of them are related to each other :laugh:
When I started trying to get fit, i went out on my bike, rode maybe 10 miles and came back a 390+lb fat, sweaty, red faced mess. I could see people looking and saying to themselves "look at him - what's he playing at... he should know better at his age" But, I felt better for doing it, so carried on. Nearly 8 months later, and 156lbs down, I still go out on the bike, though now for 40-80miles at a time, I'm still overweight, but a lot better, and I'm now pretty much unable to walk to the local shop without someone stopping me and either congratulating me on how well I've done, or asking how I've managed it - and even, in the case of a couple of "old dears" telling me I need to stop dieting because i've lost too much....
In short, it was worth all the negatives, to see how it's turned around to positives... Go for it!0 -
When trying to get fit you deserve nothing but the utmost respect. Anybody who doesn't give that to you doesn't matter. In my experience, people are EXTREMELY supportive. Maybe you'll inspire somebody else who feels just like you?0
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I take a bag with me and walk to the shops and back, then I sometimes 'forget' to buy something and have to walk back again... its silly but I'm not yet comfortable with joining a gym and putting myself out there.
This is my journey and I'll complete it my way and at my own pace, I ain't doing so bad and I know I'll get there which is the most important thing.
Every day I feel a little more confident and one day soon I'll get to the gym and show them all!!
Never give up, never surrender!! :happy:0 -
Well if it really bothers you, get up early to exercise when nobody's out or later at night. Is it because you are scared you try but don't succeed? You just need a little more confidence in yourself.
Just get out there and do it, really. You are setting a good example that way too. Nobody is going to judge, and if they do, stuff them.0 -
I understand that, I really do. It's like that at first, but once you start realizing (truly realizing) that you're going to succeed at weight loss, then you won't care who sees you. You can tell me I'm 100% wrong, but when I first started, I didn't want anyone looking at me either. I felt like, if they say me today, and then next month and I hadn't lost weight, then they had the right to talk bad about my attempts. Meh, I could be totally off base here, but good luck on your weight loss!0
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in the case of a couple of "old dears" telling me I need to stop dieting because i've lost too much....
I get that at work... "Don't lose any more weight or you'll look gaunt!"
My reply is "Well, there's a first time for everything!" :laugh:0 -
I used to feel that way in the beginning of my journey there are two things that I would say to that....first, we think that people are paying more attention to us than they really are and two keep at it and you will soon develop an attitude of "who cares what they think-I'm going to do what I need to do." Good luck!0
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Do you exercise nakkid?
Otherwise, no.
My laugh for the day......tks0 -
Every morning I see a REALLY overwieght man walking slowly when I am on my way to work. I don't think, "wow that guy is really fat" I think "Good for him, he is concerned about his health and he is doing something about it" Don't worry if someone would think you look heavy, those people aren't worthy of your concern. Do this for you and when you are fit, those that would have giggled or thought you were heavy, will wish they had been excercising with you.0
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I know exactly where you're coming from.
I feel more comfortable at the gym where everyone is in the same situation and usually concentrating on their own workout rather than in a public situation where I'm running and other people are out with their friends etc.
I work out at home more than anything, especially at this time of year when it's dark and the weather is usually bad. I've bought a lot of workout DVDs from charity shops very cheaply (it's worth checking out freecycle etc. too), and I also do some good workouts on my Wii (I prefer EA Active because it's more intense than things like Wii Fit which are more of a game than a workout).0 -
Thanks, everybody, for your input. After reading some posts, I do feel like I have programmed myself to think that if I "fall off the wagon" or stop making visible progress, people would start to talk. But, I thank everybody for your encouragement and kind words!! Feel free to add me as well. I am looking for fellow fitness pals on here and am willing to support when needed!0
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Do you exercise nakkid?
Otherwise, no.
That would REALLY give the people something to talk about :laugh:0 -
Hi, I live in small rural town too in Texas And Lordy everyone know everything I do before I even do it! ha ha
And I was the same way at first. I was afraid if everyone (including my family) knew I was "trying" to get fit and then if I "failed" then they would see me fail. I wanted to keep it my secret! And I didn't want to have to answer all those questions and negative comments why you doing, how you doing,etc.
I had to get over that way of thinking and remember I am doing this FOR ME AND ME ONLY! At first I even tried to hide it from my husband (who works out of town) so on weekends I wouldn't workout, or even cook healthier meals and I would sneak away to track my meals! I was so afraid that I would give up again and I didn't want people to see me fail. But now that I am on my way, I don't care who knows. Because for me, I making a change for a healthier lifestyle and not just trying to lose weight fast, so I can't hide the fact that I'm a health nut again.
Have a wonderful day!0 -
People get it, your friends will always support you. Get fit and then give them something to talk about. Think about your health.0
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Do this for your own benefit! It is awesome, remember that! Getting fit is nothing to be ashamed of! When I was well over 220, I didn't want to go to my local gym, in front of all of those fit people myself, but i did it, and now I fit in! Add me for support if you like! You can do it!0
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That's a shame Dan...and I can definitely empathize with your slight feelings of insecurity. When I first started out in the gym I was a skinny 130lb runt and I was very self conscious. I couldn't chest press the weight women were curling beside me...I felt demoralized. But after awhile, and I know this sounds cliche, you just stop caring what about other people think and focus on improving yourself for yourself. You'll be motivated by your own progress...Just remember you get what you put in. When you've reached that point where you doubt you'll be able to complete that rep...It's those extra couple count the most.0
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Hi, I live in small rural town too in Texas And Lordy everyone know everything I do before I even do it! ha ha
And I was the same way at first. I was afraid if everyone (including my family) knew I was "trying" to get fit and then if I "failed" then they would see me fail. I wanted to keep it my secret! And I didn't want to have to answer all those questions and negative comments why you doing, how you doing,etc.
I had to get over that way of thinking and remember I am doing this FOR ME AND ME ONLY! At first I even tried to hide it from my husband (who works out of town) so on weekends I wouldn't workout, or even cook healthier meals and I would sneak away to track my meals! I was so afraid that I would give up again and I didn't want people to see me fail. But now that I am on my way, I don't care who knows. Because for me, I making a change for a healthier lifestyle and not just trying to lose weight fast, so I can't hide the fact that I'm a health nut again.
Have a wonderful day!
And God said "Let there be light..." haha. This is EXACTLY how things go for me in terms of the small town, everybody knows what I'm doing before I do it mentality.. Thanks for the advice0 -
Not sure if I'm the only one with this problem so I thought I'd ask.. Long story short, I am sort of embarrassed for people to see me attempting to get fit. I live in a small town of 2,000 people, so everybody knows everybody. And everybody knows everybody's business. And for some reason, when I am out in public for a walk or a jog, I pray and hope that nobody I know will see me. Why? I'm not exactly sure. Anybody with similar feelings?
You are your own worst enemy, you are so consumed in what others are thinking about you that you deprave yourself from enjoying life. Trust me a few years back I walked into the gym and I looked at the beasts working out and thought to myself soon enough I will be within their ranks, 3 years later I am proud to say I walk among them. It's time to make those dreams a reality buddy so go out and do it...0
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