So is anyone willing to give relationship advice?

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skinnyitaliannn
skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
in Chit-Chat
Okay well .. me and my boyfriend have been together a year now. I'm 18 and he just turned 20 in November. I feel as if I do a lot for him, pretty much anything he wants, but he just stopped putting in any effort at all. I mean I really don't ask for much. I bike to and from his house daily, he never comes over mine and I don't bother asking because everytime I have he says he's too lazy.. he smokes pot every 20 minutes of the day. I'm not sure if pot is a truly addictive drug but he definitely can't stop it. It's to the point that he can't be sober for more then 10 minutes.. not over-exaggerating. It's difficult for me to want to be with him because even though he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke. It's made me so upset that sometimes I can't help but cry, and when he notices, he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke" .. he's constantly telling me how much he needs me and how he loves me more than anything, but his actions are showing almost the complete opposite. he keeps on calling me crazy for trying to tell him what's wrong but whenever I try to talk, he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish. I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point and I'm not sure if I should end it or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.
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  • 31993703
    31993703 Posts: 1,144
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    Thats a lot of reading.

    Tampa crew <3
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.
  • skinnyitaliannn
    skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
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    Thats a lot of reading.

    Tampa crew <3

    You have no idea, trust me -__-
  • skinnyitaliannn
    skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
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    You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.

    You're right. It's just so difficult, especially feeling like I've gotten so comfortable with him.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.
    ^
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
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    I'd run from that ASAP...

    Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?
  • nelz617
    nelz617 Posts: 6
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    The relationship is going nowhere.
  • skinnyitaliannn
    skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
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    I'd run from that ASAP...

    Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?

    he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao
  • missgaby7
    missgaby7 Posts: 19
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    Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.
  • skinnyitaliannn
    skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
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    Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.

    makes lots of sense! thank you!
  • AddieOverhaul
    AddieOverhaul Posts: 734 Member
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    Telling you not to leave him because he's depressed is emotional blackmail. My ex threatened to kill himself if I left. Guess what? I did and he didn't!

    Calling you stupid and retarded is verbally abusive.

    Putting in no effort and making you always come to him means he's probably with you because it's easy and convenient for him. If he really loved you he wouldn't treat you that way.

    Don't waste your time. Respect yourself and dump this guy. He needs to grow up.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
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    Sounds like a typical d-bag stoner.. leave his *kitten* and get yourself someone that will put in time in a relationship.. Things you should look for.. Not a druggie, Has a job, has a car, is nice. of course your 18, you won't learn until your 28
  • holeshottdr
    holeshottdr Posts: 364 Member
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    Three words: Just break up...
  • Erienneb
    Erienneb Posts: 592 Member
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    Sounds like a waste of time. If you're going to be in a relationship, make sure you are in one that lifts you up instead of bringing you down.

    makes lots of sense! thank you!

    Good point well made. Also, you're 18. It's going to hurt to leave any relationship. But it's ok. If you're that upset then leave. Easier said than done, I know. Respect *yourself* and you'll find a man who respects you.
  • skinnyitaliannn
    skinnyitaliannn Posts: 187
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    yep hate the d-bag stoners. -__-
  • Fit_NYC_
    Fit_NYC_ Posts: 1,389 Member
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    um... he sounds like a total tool. You're wasting your time with somebody that shows zero effort in making you happy and invalidates your feelings by calling you names. Not to mention that he seems like a waste of space. I play video games and have any number of "hobbies", but at the end of the day you have to be able to handle business... he's just taking up oxygen. RUN and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Comfortable is not enough; that's only for shoes and couches.
    I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but his in-action speaks volumes.
  • fcp1234
    fcp1234 Posts: 1,098 Member
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    Paragraphs..please !!! This is killing my pretty eyes.
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
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    I'd run from that ASAP...

    Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?

    he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao

    Being depressed doesn't mean you're allowed to treat someone you supposedly care about the way he's treating you. It's a lame excuse for him being immature, selfish, and abusive.

    I still don't understand why you would stay in the relationship. What do you get from the relationship that makes it hard for you to cut it off?
  • Itssojen
    Itssojen Posts: 73 Member
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    I was in a relationship for 5 1/2 years before the one I'm in now. We started dating when we were 16, moved in together at 19, and lived together for like 2 1/2 years. He treated me pretty bad before we ever moved in together, but I thought maybe that would help things. It was okay for a while, and then he started doing the exact same thing as your boyfriend is doing to you now...stomping all over me, taking advantage of me, etc. It was such a horrible feeling, and he really brought me down. I was so depressed, but we were comfortable, and this was going to be the man I was going to marry, and then it would get better.

    Fast forward to May 7 of this year, and after literally not giving a crap whether I was even in the same apartment as him for MONTHS, he told me he didn't want to be with me anymore. I left that day and that was it. A month later, he realized his mistake and wanted me back. I said no...I was the HAPPIEST I HAD EVER BEEN. I realized very very quickly how much his behavior brought me down and affected me, and I moved on. The comfort was not worth it at all.

    Now, I'm with the man I KNOW is meant for me to marry. He's my best friend, and it took 5 1/2 years of crap and then me finding myself and my own happiness in order to find the one TRULY for me.

    Moral of the story is, I encourage you to leave him. I would never have taken anybody's advice had they told me that when I was in your shoes, but after living it, you need to be done with him. You can do SO much better...believe me.
  • Nekhet
    Nekhet Posts: 380
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    um... he sounds like a total tool. You're wasting your time with somebody that shows zero effort in making you happy and invalidates your feelings by calling you names. Not to mention that he seems like a waste of space. I play video games and have any number of "hobbies", but at the end of the day you have to be able to handle business... he's just taking up oxygen. RUN and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Comfortable is not enough; that's only for shoes and couches.
    I'm sorry if I'm being harsh, but his in-action speaks volumes.

    ^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^

    There are many better men out there that would love to have a woman that is devoted and caring and they will do the same for you. This guy sounds like ti is all about him and if he loves to get stoned all the time and play video games then let him do that...alone. Find yourself someone that wants to be with you and spend their time with you. If you are at the point of crying over it and it bothers you...you need to face it and make the changes. You are young and have sooooo much life yet to live and experience. Don't let someone drag it away from you and you get caught in their BS. He does not respect and love you. He is just using you...sorry, that is harsh but it is the truth. Get out, pick yourself up and move on. You will be so much better off without him....you will see.

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