So is anyone willing to give relationship advice?

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  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
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    That's a tough age for guys. Don't expect him to change.
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
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    No one should talk to you like that...ever. This relationship is going nowhere. Cut it off now.
  • kmorg22
    kmorg22 Posts: 180
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    I'd run from that ASAP...

    Sounds like you're getting nothing good from the relationship. Why stay?

    he says he's 'depressed' and is going through a rough time in his life. and not to leave him. then he treats me like this and wonders why i'm in his words, only happy w him when I'm asleep. lmao

    ^Total BS.... emotional blackmail. 1) he chooses pot over you. strike 2) verbally and emotionally abuses you strike 2 ... 3) lazy bum strike 3...... I believe thats game over.

    I dated a guy once in teen years his early 20s smoked pot all the time, partied, played videos games..... went to jail we broke up.... 10-15 years later ran into him... tried it again (he now in his 30s) he smokes pot constantly, plays video games, and like nothing ever changed. If a man has no better priorities don't waste ya time. and dont be a door mat. everyone deserves better.
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
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    ... or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.

    Nah, don't wait it out, even tho it's probably just a phase. I know many guys who are in that phase. Yep, it started in their teens and it's still going strong, with them being in their early 30s now. Just a phase. :wink:
  • cecyvaquero
    cecyvaquero Posts: 154 Member
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    Im sorry to tell you this hun but you should leave him. You are worth more than that. You will find a reall man that won't be high every minute of the day and will be at work instead of playing games all day. You are really young and there are lots of fish in the sea. You are not married so you can walk out of this relationship whenever you want. Put yourself first.
  • Masqueraded
    Masqueraded Posts: 91
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    I'm 18
    he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke
    he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke"
    he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish
    I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point

    I highlighted the main points of your post. Decision made my dear.
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
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    Three words: Just break up...

    I knew someone would say it!

    Seriously though OP-leave him. He's not worth it. Think of it this way, if you had a friend explain this same exact situation to you (them of course being in your shoes) what would you tell them? You'd say he's a piece of crap, get out now! You probably don't want to hear it but you're young-you'll definitely find someone else that will pay attention to you and will drive to your house AND even pick you up so you don't have to bike to his house all the time
  • Ge0rgiana
    Ge0rgiana Posts: 1,649 Member
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    Dump his *kitten*. :flowerforyou:
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    You're too young to 'wait around to see if he'll change"...........he won't

    Just break up.

    find someone worth your time.

    Think about it this way. Do you want to marry and have children with a stoner? I'm assuming not.

    Find someone you want a real future with.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    He's verbally abusive to you on top of being an addict. Run away as fast as you can and don't look back. You will find someone who will treat you better, I promise.
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    leave

    seriously

    leave

    you are 18! You have WAY too much life ahead of you to be stuck in an abusive hellhole relationship. You stay in a relationship because you want to, or choose to, NOT because he says he needs you to.

    you are not responsible for his feelings, his moods, his emotions, or his pot habit.

    seriously, pull up your big girl panties and walk away... never look back.

    LOVE: doesn't insult, demean, use, treat like crap
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    Okay well .. me and my boyfriend have been together a year now. I'm 18 and he just turned 20 in November. I feel as if I do a lot for him, pretty much anything he wants, but he just stopped putting in any effort at all. I mean I really don't ask for much. I bike to and from his house daily, he never comes over mine and I don't bother asking because everytime I have he says he's too lazy.. he smokes pot every 20 minutes of the day. I'm not sure if pot is a truly addictive drug but he definitely can't stop it. It's to the point that he can't be sober for more then 10 minutes.. not over-exaggerating. It's difficult for me to want to be with him because even though he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke. It's made me so upset that sometimes I can't help but cry, and when he notices, he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke" .. he's constantly telling me how much he needs me and how he loves me more than anything, but his actions are showing almost the complete opposite. he keeps on calling me crazy for trying to tell him what's wrong but whenever I try to talk, he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish. I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point and I'm not sure if I should end it or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.

    A relationship is worth fighting for when it is a two-way street of respect, love, and friendship. From what you have described, this one is most certainly not.

    You have taught him that his rude and lazy behavior is something that you will tolerate. He has no motivation to change.

    You should never have to wait it out to see if a person is going to stop being a pothead, insulting, lazy *kitten*. Every relationship has rough spots, but this is a potentially dangerous and almost certainly disastrous situation. Is this truly the way you want to spend even one more minute of your life?

    I vote for leaving. Now.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    You're young..you deserve better and I think you know it. Move on..why would you even want a relationship with him. Get someone who respects you.
  • AndreaGrace29
    AndreaGrace29 Posts: 51 Member
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    Wow.. Don't wait it out. I know 30 year olds that act the same way. The video games never stop, the drugs never stop. If you are questioning it, then dump him. Life is too short for BS and there's certainly someone better for you. Get out before he knocks you up.... Sorry to be so harsh but there are a million things about my teens and 20's I'd love to go back and change, and wasting too much time with horrible boyfriends is on the top of that list.
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    I'm 18
    he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke
    he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke"
    he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish
    I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point

    I highlighted the main points of your post. Decision made my dear.

    Hey man you say some dumb **** when you're high.

    Just give him a choice, a hot, underage teen girl or pot and plenty of tube porn (dont tell him the tube porn part because that might sell it). You can always change him, and he could always change. But losing you may do that..

    Even though I have choked a few chicks in my time (thats another story ;) its never right to feel abused. You can definitely become addicted to it without even realizing it. Sucks
  • kumitekg
    kumitekg Posts: 61
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    I think a good question to ask yourself is - what is it you dislike about yourself so much that you really believe you don't deserve anything better than this?
  • FitBeto
    FitBeto Posts: 2,121 Member
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    Wow.. Don't wait it out. I know 30 year olds that act the same way. The video games never stop, the drugs never stop. If you are questioning it, then dump him. Life is too short for BS and there's certainly someone better for you. Get out before he knocks you up.... Sorry to be so harsh but there are a million things about my teens and 20's I'd love to go back and change, and wasting too much time with horrible boyfriends is on the top of that list.

    If you never went through them then you wouldnt be as strong as you are now!
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    My friend dated a guy like this. She moved halfway across the country with him and was with him for five years. He was high ALL the time, and every time I talked to her she was more unhappy than last time. Then her dad committed suicide, completely unexpectedly. Her boyfriend wasn't there for her at all and got mad at her for being so emotional over it. He kicked her out without letting her take half her belongings, and she moved back home. In those five years she spent with him, she didn't go to college and barely saw her father, who's now gone forever.

    People like your boyfriend will demand everything from you and give nothing in return. Get out now.
  • hsacksy
    hsacksy Posts: 15 Member
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    I've been you.

    At least you can see things aren't working... it took me looking back years later to realize what a messed up relationship it really was!!

    Being single can be harder, but its always better than staying with the wrong person just because its easier.
  • vendygirl
    vendygirl Posts: 718 Member
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    Get out now. Waste of time and why be miserable at 18? Only way he will change is if wants and clearly it sounds like he doesn't. You don't need to make this relationship work. Leave him.

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