So is anyone willing to give relationship advice?
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leave
seriously
leave
you are 18! You have WAY too much life ahead of you to be stuck in an abusive hellhole relationship. You stay in a relationship because you want to, or choose to, NOT because he says he needs you to.
you are not responsible for his feelings, his moods, his emotions, or his pot habit.
seriously, pull up your big girl panties and walk away... never look back.
LOVE: doesn't insult, demean, use, treat like crap0 -
Okay well .. me and my boyfriend have been together a year now. I'm 18 and he just turned 20 in November. I feel as if I do a lot for him, pretty much anything he wants, but he just stopped putting in any effort at all. I mean I really don't ask for much. I bike to and from his house daily, he never comes over mine and I don't bother asking because everytime I have he says he's too lazy.. he smokes pot every 20 minutes of the day. I'm not sure if pot is a truly addictive drug but he definitely can't stop it. It's to the point that he can't be sober for more then 10 minutes.. not over-exaggerating. It's difficult for me to want to be with him because even though he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke. It's made me so upset that sometimes I can't help but cry, and when he notices, he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke" .. he's constantly telling me how much he needs me and how he loves me more than anything, but his actions are showing almost the complete opposite. he keeps on calling me crazy for trying to tell him what's wrong but whenever I try to talk, he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish. I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point and I'm not sure if I should end it or just wait it out to see if he if just going through an *kitten*, video games 24/7, lazy phase. I'm just so confused and really don't have anyone else to talk to about this.
A relationship is worth fighting for when it is a two-way street of respect, love, and friendship. From what you have described, this one is most certainly not.
You have taught him that his rude and lazy behavior is something that you will tolerate. He has no motivation to change.
You should never have to wait it out to see if a person is going to stop being a pothead, insulting, lazy *kitten*. Every relationship has rough spots, but this is a potentially dangerous and almost certainly disastrous situation. Is this truly the way you want to spend even one more minute of your life?
I vote for leaving. Now.0 -
You're young..you deserve better and I think you know it. Move on..why would you even want a relationship with him. Get someone who respects you.0
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Wow.. Don't wait it out. I know 30 year olds that act the same way. The video games never stop, the drugs never stop. If you are questioning it, then dump him. Life is too short for BS and there's certainly someone better for you. Get out before he knocks you up.... Sorry to be so harsh but there are a million things about my teens and 20's I'd love to go back and change, and wasting too much time with horrible boyfriends is on the top of that list.0
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I'm 18
he's 20, all he does is sit inside and play video games / smoke
he says "wtf is wrong with you?" "you're so stupid" "you're a joke"
he says I'm dumb or retarded and stops me before I even get to finish
I feel like this relationship is going nowhere but downhill at this point
I highlighted the main points of your post. Decision made my dear.
Hey man you say some dumb **** when you're high.
Just give him a choice, a hot, underage teen girl or pot and plenty of tube porn (dont tell him the tube porn part because that might sell it). You can always change him, and he could always change. But losing you may do that..
Even though I have choked a few chicks in my time (thats another story
its never right to feel abused. You can definitely become addicted to it without even realizing it. Sucks 0 -
I think a good question to ask yourself is - what is it you dislike about yourself so much that you really believe you don't deserve anything better than this?0
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Wow.. Don't wait it out. I know 30 year olds that act the same way. The video games never stop, the drugs never stop. If you are questioning it, then dump him. Life is too short for BS and there's certainly someone better for you. Get out before he knocks you up.... Sorry to be so harsh but there are a million things about my teens and 20's I'd love to go back and change, and wasting too much time with horrible boyfriends is on the top of that list.
If you never went through them then you wouldnt be as strong as you are now!0 -
My friend dated a guy like this. She moved halfway across the country with him and was with him for five years. He was high ALL the time, and every time I talked to her she was more unhappy than last time. Then her dad committed suicide, completely unexpectedly. Her boyfriend wasn't there for her at all and got mad at her for being so emotional over it. He kicked her out without letting her take half her belongings, and she moved back home. In those five years she spent with him, she didn't go to college and barely saw her father, who's now gone forever.
People like your boyfriend will demand everything from you and give nothing in return. Get out now.0 -
I've been you.
At least you can see things aren't working... it took me looking back years later to realize what a messed up relationship it really was!!
Being single can be harder, but its always better than staying with the wrong person just because its easier.0 -
Get out now. Waste of time and why be miserable at 18? Only way he will change is if wants and clearly it sounds like he doesn't. You don't need to make this relationship work. Leave him.0
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all aboard the just break up train.......
seriously....you should \m/0 -
Leave him.0
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You have to run from this man/boy. HE will use you and abuse you. He will never work or put anything into anything worth having. You will be stuck supporting him and his habit. You will be mentally and maybe physically abused. You are young and you are not tied to him at this moment. You are the master of your own life. If you want to stay "comfortable" then stay, but if you wanna have anything in life flee!!!0
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I am hoping by now that one of two things have happened. 1. You dumped his butt. or 2. He smartened up and is treating you the way you deserve to be treated. Think of what's best for you and your future.0
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The verbal abuse and blackmailing sound pretty bad. So I would break up.
On a note for a future relationship, I read somewhere that often men don't see that there is anything wrong in a relationship if the woman continues to do the things she normally does (come over, cook, care, be affectionate), even if she is complaining about something in the relationship. They only realise something is wrong when she stops. It's because actions speak louder than words, kind of an extension of "if it ain't broke don't fix it". They will only be motivated to change if normal service stops (and then only maybe, if they miss normal service). I realise that this a a vast over generalisation and not all men are the same etc, etc, but it could be a helpful start to understanding some of the situation.
However, I think your current relationship has other problems with it (the name calling and pot smoking) that wouldn't be solved by the above.0 -
You're both young. He and you are going through a phase. Some never get out of it. Some you can help get out of it, but its all really just dependent on the person. Unless you really and truly love the guy and intend to try to subject yourself to both the good and the bad for an extended duration, there's no harm in moving on. Perhaps the idea of you leaving would change things. And maybe it won't. And I'll close with my first line: you're young. Enjoy life.0
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you're young, move on0
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Welcome to growing up and bad relationships.
Your growing up because you can admit what is wrong and how you feel, by the way this huge and postive for you.
I say cut the loss and move on with your life, this relationship is giving you mental abuse and you sure do not need that.
Keep us posted, we have been where you currently are.
It will some day get easier, be thankful that he has not been to home and will not come over, it makes the break up that
much easier!
Now go buy some awesome ice cream, bottle of asprin and a HUGE box of Kleenex.
The pain will go way some day. It is just a storm and they do pass.
Big Hugs.0 -
Just break up.
No seriously do it. If you are unhappy there is no point in staying. Is this something new he is doing or has he always done it? If its new I would ask what changed...if hes always been this way you wont change him0 -
How do I say this.. You're 18 getting fit. Why are you wasting your time. If this is the guy meant for you it would not be so hard. Cut your losses, dump the d-bag and keep it moving. Have you ever tried to force the wrong piece of a puzzle into a spot it did not fit into? I mean, you can try as much as you want but in the end it will never work. Save your self the drama.0
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Well most women will tell you that you're a fool to think you can change a man, but those women are quitters.
Im a quitter in my marriage then- thanks for the boost of ego.
to OP- I agree with everyone else, he brings nothing to the table and you making him choices and promises wont change him (despite what i quoted above).0 -
You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.
This x234238947350 -
You're hot and young... Just break up!
Stay single until like 25 plus. Trust me that's what I would have done given the chance to go back and change something.0 -
Sounds like husband material.0
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Just say no!0
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He's not going to change. Why would he? What he's been doing has been working for him.
You haven't left. He does need you. He needs you to do all that *kitten* for him so he can smoke pot and play video games.
Plus, be able to have you as a girl friend, and all the benefits that come with that.
He doesn't expect you to leave him. If he did, he would have made some kind of effort. But he hasn't, has he?
I think you know what to do.0 -
This about sums it up...You're being taken advantage of. You're being a doormat. Pick yourself up and dump him. You're young. Don't waste your best years being walked on.
You are WAY too young to waste any more of your time on a loser like that....get out now before you end up pregnant and stuck dealing with him for the next 18 years....0 -
He'll keep doing this as long as it works. It isn't going to get any better.0
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I'm jazzed about the opportunity to work and pay more and more taxes to support you two!
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Run...now, go!0
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