I don't know if my boyfriend is 'the one'?

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  • matchbox_girl
    matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
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    Here's the thing: only months into our relationship my man and I had no doubt whatsoever that we were destined to be together. We've been a couple for over a year and best friends for two. We're engaged and will soon be married. When you know, you know.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    both of u are to young. If I could go back in time, I never would have married my first husband-we are divorced now. The man I am married to now I married when I was 32. WAY better choice. I chose a douche the first time hun.......

    I married my husband when I was 19.

    How's that for young?

    Not every young couple are the annoying, crazy, roller coasters that you see on tv. When you know, YOU KNOW. And we are quite happy and still in love. :3

    If you were 52 your statement might've held water, I have socks older than your marriage. You might not think it but you are still very young, and real relationships tend to get tested around the 7 years mark.
  • plynn54
    plynn54 Posts: 912 Member
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    If you have to ask if he is the right one, he's not
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    Any time you say, "I think we're destined to be together," and all the guy says is, "I like spending time with you too," is an indication that he's not as in to you. Divorce!
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    If I was in any hurry to marry anyone at all, I would have left a long time ago or at least pushed the issue and made him choose.

    However, to answer the OP, not everyone is particularly expressive or comfortable about coming out and saying certain things. Actions are more important than words.

    And "soul mates"? Eh.

    Actions only went so far with me, stayed with him for almost 10 years.... did not do it, happen. I need romance in my life and affection and so on...he'd be perfect if he hadn't grown up without it. It's just not in him to appreciate words or physical affection.
  • melsmith612
    melsmith612 Posts: 727 Member
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    The topic of your post says it all... if you have to ask the question, you probably already know the answer.
  • Yaya1976
    Yaya1976 Posts: 357 Member
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    If you have to ask, then he probably isn't. Of course every single relationship is different. I knew from our first date and so did he. We met at his house, he cooked me dinner. I left 3 days later, only to go get more clothes...LOL....On our 2nd date, he asked me to be his girlfriend- We're in our 30's and I thought that was super cute :) On our 3rd date, he told me he loved me. On our 4th date he said "when we get married". About 30 days later we moved in together. On Dec 20th we will have been together 1 yr and 8 months. Last month we started looking for rings. So far so good.

    I know my case isn't normal. We just knew and still know :)

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  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
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    Just break up..
    dis is sooo funny -_-

    It's overused. And therefore only funny in my book when one of the originals says it. Just sayin.
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
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    Just break up..

    This got old months ago

    WIN
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    both of u are to young. If I could go back in time, I never would have married my first husband-we are divorced now. The man I am married to now I married when I was 32. WAY better choice. I chose a douche the first time hun.......

    I married my husband when I was 19.

    How's that for young?

    Not every young couple are the annoying, crazy, roller coasters that you see on tv. When you know, YOU KNOW. And we are quite happy and still in love. :3

    Aw hun, you're only 22 and of course you're still in love after only three years. Bless!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    If I was in any hurry to marry anyone at all, I would have left a long time ago or at least pushed the issue and made him choose.

    However, to answer the OP, not everyone is particularly expressive or comfortable about coming out and saying certain things. Actions are more important than words.

    And "soul mates"? Eh.

    Actions only went so far with me, stayed with him for almost 10 years.... did not do it, happen. I need romance in my life and affection and so on...he'd be perfect if he hadn't grown up without it. It's just not in him to appreciate words or physical affection.
    In other words, he told you by his actions that he wasn't the man for you, which proves my point.
  • grawrrrr
    grawrrrr Posts: 336
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    both of u are to young. If I could go back in time, I never would have married my first husband-we are divorced now. The man I am married to now I married when I was 32. WAY better choice. I chose a douche the first time hun.......

    I married my husband when I was 19.

    How's that for young?

    Not every young couple are the annoying, crazy, roller coasters that you see on tv. When you know, YOU KNOW. And we are quite happy and still in love. :3

    If you were 52 your statement might've held water, I have socks older than your marriage. You might not think it but you are still very young, and real relationships tend to get tested around the 7 years mark.

    lol. I never told you how long my relationship has been nor do you know what sort of "trying" things we've been through. That's quite presumptuous of you!!

    We're about to hit the 5 year mark. I'll let y'all know in 2 years how it's going.
  • onepillarofsalt
    onepillarofsalt Posts: 37 Member
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    I disagree with the "when you know, you know" mentality. I've "known" about a guy who turned out to not be worth "know"ing. The film/media/romantic comedy industry has led us all to have skewed views on relationships. They are no longer partnerships, they're drama-filled-circle-jerks.

    My partner and I have been together for five years, living together for four. We had been living together for a year (together for two) before either one of us balled up and said "I love you." Even then, I think it was another few months before we started saying it with regularity.

    We're happy, we rock as a couple, we plan our future equally and debate kid names and dumb things. But do we "know" know? As two divorcees, we're pretty cynical about that whole notion. But we're happy, we're honest and we communicate to an almost disturbing degree. Neither of us are ever worried about saying something that will scare the other one off - we're certainly not going to censor ourselves for the sake of not being "scary". Even the "scary" conversations like marriage and kids and wills and how you want the other person to handle it if you get bitten during the zombie apocolypse (wait. What?) aren't scary if you approach the topic like adults instead of star-crossed teenagers with a death wish.

    We like to take the Dogma approach: I don't know, but I've got a pretty good idea.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Guys don't typically express that you are their "soul mate" or "the one" until they are ready. I'm sure you were expecting some amazingly romantic response to what you said but let's face it.. life isn't like the movies. Don't think too much about it.

    this, me and my husband have been married for 4 years and he still doesn't just say he loves me without me saying it first, But I learned that it's not because he doesn't its because he just doesn't think about it like we do. We are wired differently then men.
    Guys typically don't express their love thru words but by actions. You may see men saying those 3 magic words and sweet nothings in the movies but that's not how it works in real life.
  • CassieReannan
    CassieReannan Posts: 1,479 Member
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    Alright so... How long have you been dating firstly. If its not long then theres your answer. If it has been a long time and you dont feel like theres a future there probably isnt! Trust your gut.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
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    If you don't know if he's the one, he's not the one.

    Edit: Unless you've only been dating for a couple weeks or something. But seriously, my partner and I knew like a month in that we were perfect together. :smile:

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