i need some boy advice!

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Replies

  • Kristen81
    Kristen81 Posts: 342 Member
    SO HOW WAS IT?
    Yes....how was it?!?
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
    I'm curious too!!
  • paige2010
    paige2010 Posts: 29 Member
    just a thought - find out why the relationships with your friends didn't work out! Best way to predict how he's gona treat you is to find out how he treated his exes. Why did things fall apart, anything you should know about?!
  • natspoiledbrat
    natspoiledbrat Posts: 133
    I'm dying to know how it went??????? Good I hope!
  • rjadams
    rjadams Posts: 4,029 Member
    I hope you report in soon. I know we are all dying to know how the dinner and movie at your place went. :bigsmile:
  • haleysman
    haleysman Posts: 48
    lol everyone wants to know how it went...maybe we should be asking how it's going??? lol did it turn into a long weekend...lol
  • Evasher
    Evasher Posts: 20
    Your first love will always be your first love, but not your last love. Letting Go and allowing the beauty of other relationships come into your life and LIVING rather than participating in a hold pattern will bring you GREAT joy, beyond your imagination. Be gentle to yourself and see the beauty is in you!
  • kwardklinck
    kwardklinck Posts: 1,601
    Go for it. They shouldn't have gone after him when they knew you liked him anyway. I wouldn't worry about it unless he was engaged to one of them or something.
  • jlkopf
    jlkopf Posts: 1
    It's good that you are going for it. The only concern I have is that he picked those other women before. Why not you? These other posts seem to forget that he has free will. If a man is really into a woman he will pursue her. Is he just settling or has he changed? You don't want to be the woman he settles for. You need to find a man that will love you fervently and unconditionally. YOU deserve it!
  • cbnorris
    cbnorris Posts: 204 Member
    what happened to this girl? I wanna know how things went! Don't leave us hanging like that!
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    This whole situation sends up red flags in my mind.

    I peeked at your profile. You are 24, and if you've liked Justin for 10 years, the crush started at 14, meaning Katie dated him from age 14 - 18, then Deena dated him from ??? maybe 18 - 24?

    He's never been into you, but suddenly seeing you as (like in the movies) the girl that was there all along. But going with your profile pics....
    122042_8760.jpg?2043
    .... you've lost a lot of weight.

    Are you sure this guy isn't just up on a pedestal where you've placed him? Are you sure he isn't a good looking a-hole who only noticed you now because you are thin? Are you sure YOU can handle dating someone your friends dated? (I know it would bother me, but other posters have said they did it and it didn't bother them.... to each their own.... but make sure you are okay with it yourself.) I know I could NEVER have bridesmaids who had slept with my husband-to-be, especially two of them!

    Again, I hope the date went great for you.... but I just have reservations about the situation.
  • Kristen81
    Kristen81 Posts: 342 Member
    This whole situation sends up red flags in my mind.

    I peeked at your profile. You are 24, and if you've liked Justin for 10 years, the crush started at 14, meaning Katie dated him from age 14 - 18, then Deena dated him from ??? maybe 18 - 24?

    He's never been into you, but suddenly seeing you as (like in the movies) the girl that was there all along. But going with your profile pics....
    122042_8760.jpg?2043
    .... you've lost a lot of weight.

    Are you sure this guy isn't just up on a pedestal where you've placed him? Are you sure he isn't a good looking a-hole who only noticed you now because you are thin? Are you sure YOU can handle dating someone your friends dated? (I know it would bother me, but other posters have said they did it and it didn't bother them.... to each their own.... but make sure you are okay with it yourself.) I know I could NEVER have bridesmaids who had slept with my husband-to-be, especially two of them!

    Again, I hope the date went great for you.... but I just have reservations about the situation.
    AGREE'D!!!! All I know is there is a difference between infatuation and REALLY liking someone. I went though the same thing. I liked (was infatuated) with this boy from 13-19 years old. My friend started dating him and I got really upset. I'm glad I realized he was a weirdo during this period or I too may have dated him later. Would have been a complete waste of time and a total dissapointment.
    I just think you have become infatuated...I could be completely wrong though. Either way, I hope all went well with your date!
  • Vallandingham
    Vallandingham Posts: 2,177
    No show for 6 days! Since the date! Don't like it. I hope someone in here is friends beyond this room and knows how she is doing.

    As a father of 3 girls, I am very concerned.
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    hahah! you guys are too funny! i completely forgot to check in with everyone. and i apologize for the delay!!

    the date went well. we went to olive garden. then walked around the mall. and watched a movie at my place. NO FUNNY BUSINESS went down for those of you wondering. :)

    then we hung out saturday too. went to a club. that was definitely a good time! i love dancing! and i'm seeing him on friday again. he's been texting me all day everyday. he writes me first.

    AND to answer the questions of "is he noticing you now because you're thin" or whatev.. absolutely not! we've stayed great friends even while he was dating my friends. he is a great person. i'm not just putting him on a pedastal, and i dont think he's just "settling" for me. we're taking things super slow anyway. we're not even technically dating. we're both fresh outta relationships. SO... i've decided that i'm not just gonna sit around and see what happens with him, i'm still gonna go out and meet people (boys.. :) ) and if justin happens to come around in the time being, then great. :)

    i'm glad you guys are all so interested ! :)
  • crashed98
    crashed98 Posts: 5
    History with friends is a non-issue. They did what they did, and they're not doing it any more. You ride roller coasters other people have ridden,,,

    My question is - what's wrong with Justin? 2 friends have had relationships with him, and in both cases they didn't work out. How come?

    I've had one serious relationship in my life - my 23 year marriage to my other half, so maybe I'm not a good example.

    That was the first thing that crossed my mind too....Maybe its because of some of the crazy relationships I've been through...But I'd try and find out why it didn't work with either of your "friends"
    There is obviously a common thread between you and your girls....we generally look for some of the same characteristics that our friends would....so if it didn't work for them.....WhY????
    I still say go for it and date him if you want to...but instead of considering how they feel about it consider why it didn't work for them. Nobody will know more about him and his "secret ways" (everyone has secret ways) than his ex's you have the bennefit of knowing them.
  • rosemary10
    rosemary10 Posts: 253
    How about some grammie advice? Of course we're all interested - this is a real life soap opera.

    Here goes. When your "friends" dated him they were basically teenagers or just exiting teenageness, you on the other hand are at a more mature place in life than they were. This should work to your advantage. And I think it might, seeing as how you aren't calling him a crush now and are willing to meet other people (boys).
    Going slow is a great method because it will help you be smart about this. You've known him only casually whereas your "friends" have known him more in depth. Maybe their relationships didn't work out because of their immaturity or his. He's probably more mature now also. Why all the talk about maturity, because you both are at a point in life where relationships often end in marriage. I'm assuming he is close to your age and was probably not set in a career and ready to support a wife when your first "friend" had him. I think life gets serious here because you're not just deciding things for yourself and your personal happiness. When you marry someone you bring your future children into this relationship. They will be affected by the type of people you guys are. Will he be a good father? No, that's not the right question. Is he THE person you want to be the father of your children? It's not just about you. ( Yes, we want you to be happy- but you won't be if you choose poorly) And it's easy to choose poorly, especially if you don't go slow enough. So be careful.
    About your "friends", don't give up on them. But don't expect much out of them. What they did was not right and it may take some hard knocks before they get it and realize that friendships are important, not to be abused but to be nurtured and guarded. A bit along that line was your comment to them that you didn't mind when if fact you did. You were not honest about your feelings. I hope that tendency is leaving you because friendships are built on a balance between honesty and consideration.
  • rosemary10
    rosemary10 Posts: 253
    Oh yeah, Leah, way to go on the weight loss.:flowerforyou: You're shown that you can put your wants aside to accomplish an important worthy goal. Apply the same tenacity to the boy issue. You and yours are worth it.:flowerforyou:
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Pardon my french, but screw your friends. If they're going to jump in and date someone you just TOLD them you liked, then their feelings shouldnt be taken into consideration because they never took YOUR feelings into consideration. Some friends.
    Couldn't have said it better myself. lol
  • sgilmartin0619
    sgilmartin0619 Posts: 2
    First of all, you need to be happy with YOU ! Don't count on another person (male boyfriend or female friend) to make you happy! Be happy in YOUR own skin!!! Learn to be the woman yuo were created to be! Cute, successful, intelligent, assertive...etc. THEN, ask yourself this, "Why is this guy no longer dating these friends of mine?" Might be that he didn't like them alot, and has liked yuo for along time, too. So, quit trying to be "nice" to everyone else, and letting yourself get walked on. Go for it with this guy, see what happens and then you will know if this is meant to be. Don't put your life on hold while all the while worrying ab ut everyone else. You dont have to be "mean", just be assertive. Your friends had their chance with Justin...now it's your turn!!!
  • cbnorris
    cbnorris Posts: 204 Member
    Oh yeah, Leah, way to go on the weight loss.:flowerforyou: You're shown that you can put your wants aside to accomplish an important worthy goal. Apply the same tenacity to the boy issue. You and yours are worth it.:flowerforyou:

    Ditto. Oh and the person above me has THE FUNNIEST profile picture ever! :laugh:

    Glad to hear things went well. Make sure to keep us updated on the progress!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    How about some grammie advice? Of course we're all interested - this is a real life soap opera.

    Here goes. When your "friends" dated him they were basically teenagers or just exiting teenageness, you on the other hand are at a more mature place in life than they were. This should work to your advantage. And I think it might, seeing as how you aren't calling him a crush now and are willing to meet other people (boys).
    Going slow is a great method because it will help you be smart about this. You've known him only casually whereas your "friends" have known him more in depth. Maybe their relationships didn't work out because of their immaturity or his. He's probably more mature now also. Why all the talk about maturity, because you both are at a point in life where relationships often end in marriage. I'm assuming he is close to your age and was probably not set in a career and ready to support a wife when your first "friend" had him. I think life gets serious here because you're not just deciding things for yourself and your personal happiness. When you marry someone you bring your future children into this relationship. They will be affected by the type of people you guys are. Will he be a good father? No, that's not the right question. Is he THE person you want to be the father of your children? It's not just about you. ( Yes, we want you to be happy- but you won't be if you choose poorly) And it's easy to choose poorly, especially if you don't go slow enough. So be careful.
    About your "friends", don't give up on them. But don't expect much out of them. What they did was not right and it may take some hard knocks before they get it and realize that friendships are important, not to be abused but to be nurtured and guarded. A bit along that line was your comment to them that you didn't mind when if fact you did. You were not honest about your feelings. I hope that tendency is leaving you because friendships are built on a balance between honesty and consideration.

    great advice.

    and to leah, glad the date went well and that u are taking it slow and not putting all your eggs in one basket. great mentality :smile:
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    update for everyone!!

    justin and i have been seeing eachother for a few weeks now. and things are AMAZING!! :heart: we're blocking out all the stupid drama and just being happy together. i can express how excited i am for whats to come. thanks for all the advice everyone!! :bigsmile:
  • Voncreepy2
    Voncreepy2 Posts: 1,450 Member
    If you are worried about hurting your friends , tell them the truth. Tell them how you have had feelings for him for so long. And you did step back already ,girlfriend. Go get your man!!!!
  • DG82
    DG82 Posts: 105
    Aww YAY!! That's great news! Glad to hear you two hit it off :-) You are doing SUCH a great job girl!! Wish you the best to you and your new man! :-)
  • Lil_Leah
    Lil_Leah Posts: 376 Member
    tomorrow marks our three month anniversary! :happy: :heart: i'm such a cheeseball when it comes to this kinda stuff.. but things have been simply fabulous, and i cant wait for what's to come. yaaaay!
  • RedneckWmn
    RedneckWmn Posts: 3,202 Member
    tomorrow marks our three month anniversary! :happy: :heart: i'm such a cheeseball when it comes to this kinda stuff.. but things have been simply fabulous, and i cant wait for what's to come. yaaaay!

    awww that's great!! So glad to hear that it's worked out in your favor so far!
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
    tomorrow marks our three month anniversary! :happy: :heart: i'm such a cheeseball when it comes to this kinda stuff.. but things have been simply fabulous, and i cant wait for what's to come. yaaaay!

    thats great to hear! enjoy it!
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