Should I date a man with kids?

Slow down. You're not moving in with this guy...give it some time to see if you two are even compatible. You. Just. Met. Him.

I don't really understand this..if you like being with someone, be with them... shouldn't matter whether they have a house, kids, a car or two heads...

Also, they're not exactly kids, they'll be grown soon and sounds like they have a mum of their own so I don't think they are gonna weigh too heavy on you responsibilty wise... yeah they will be part of your life but if you wanna be part of his then you will have to deal with that gladly

This isn't really a question you are gonna find the answer to on here... you need to look into your own self and decide what's important to you

Hi. I wasn't sure if this was the right category to put this in, but oh well. I'm currently just starting to see a guy I met on POF. He's a sweet guy, treats me like a queen, a teacher, has a house, all put together, very opposite of my last ex who was still married and didn't have time for me. I see MAJOR potential, and being 33 Im looking to settle down soon. However.....he has 2 kids. One is 12, he lives with his ex wife, and the other is a teenage girl, 14, and lives with him. I love children, I want to be a teacher myself. however, I am scared to take on that much responsiblity. Luckily, his ex wife is responsible and has a well-paying job, but still......what about our privacy? Also, I require a lot of attention, and will I grow angry if he doesn't give me enough?

But thing is, now days if I want to meet a man in his 30's or 40's without kids it's nearly impossible. I don't have kids, and I am a very rare breed. Any advice? Should I still give this guy a chance because he seems like a real good catch??

Thank you.

Sure...you just have to realize that there are certain things that come with that. If you can't handle those things, you should bale. Regardless, his kids are going to take priority...they do in every relationship, even if you're married...the kids are a priority and everything else is secondary. If you're going to get angry with him because he needs to do x, y, & z with the kids and your not getting enough "me" time, then you should probably bail. It's definitely a whole different ball game where kids are concerned.

Hi. I wasn't sure if this was the right category to put this in, but oh well. I'm currently just starting to see a guy I met on POF. He's a sweet guy, treats me like a queen, a teacher, has a house, all put together, very opposite of my last ex who was still married and didn't have time for me. I see MAJOR potential, and being 33 Im looking to settle down soon. However.....he has 2 kids. One is 12, he lives with his ex wife, and the other is a teenage girl, 14, and lives with him. I love children, I want to be a teacher myself. however, I am scared to take on that much responsiblity. Luckily, his ex wife is responsible and has a well-paying job, but still......what about our privacy? Also, I require a lot of attention, and will I grow angry if he doesn't give me enough?

But thing is, now days if I want to meet a man in his 30's or 40's without kids it's nearly impossible. I don't have kids, and I am a very rare breed. Any advice? Should I still give this guy a chance because he seems like a real good catch??

Thank you.

Sure...you just have to realize that there are certain things that come with that. If you can't handle those things, you should bale. Regardless, his kids are going to take priority...they do in every relationship, even if you're married...the kids are a priority and everything else is secondary. If you're going to get angry with him because he needs to do x, y, & z with the kids and your not getting enough "me" time, then you should probably bail. It's definitely a whole different ball game where kids are concerned.

This. I married a man with two kids that he has custody of. Kids come first, your marriage second. If you can't understand that, then bail before the kids get used to you. A father will always put his kids first, just like a mom should too.

First, don't settle or don't rush things. I married someone with a child (now my ex) and you have to understand if you end up living together that child living with you (girls that age are in a hormne raging drama filled life ) is a full time responsibiity part of your family. You will be responsible for driving them everywhere, acting like their parent, actively involved in all aspects of their lives. It sounds like you eventually want to be together (married?) so you have be be prepared to accept that responsibility. If you're not....honestly it sounds doubtful that you are.......keep looking & don't be desparate. Fifty percent + end in divorce and believe me that isn't pretty. It really sounds like you are wanting a more one on one relationship and don't want to share your man. Privacy is an issue. Your special moments are limited to behind those closed doors at night and you still will be concerned that there is a child in the house if you get what I mean.

If you can accept having the responsibility & sharing the attention of this guy it sounds great. Good Luck

Run for the hills, honey. I was in a similar situations several years ago, and unfortunately any man with kids will always put them first, irrespective of whether their needs are actually greater in the given situation, and who will always take their word over yours even if they're talking rubbish and you're the rational, reasonable one. If, at your own admission, you are someone who needs a lot of attention, choosing someone who is already destined to put you second (or third, as there are 2 kids!) is maybe not the best idea.

Sorry if this sounds negative - but I would have saved myself several years of heartache if someone had given me this advice a long time ago!

It reallllllly depends on the guy. I did and his daughter's mother died and I became a sudden FT Stepmom to a pre teen. She also is mentally ill. He did not know this before, though I saw signs of it when she was young. It has been 2 tough years since her mother died. My bf was in NO way ready to actually parent a child. That is why I say it depends on the guy. Some are great daddies but ineffective parents. Yes, there is a difference. One red flag that I will never ignore again is when the guy never seems irritated by his kids. Like he puts them on a pedestal and they can do no wrong. RED FLAG! I thought he was just a nice guy. For almost 2yrs I have been basically single with him. Every moment is dedicated to his child. As it should be. We cannot travel or make plans as she needs to be near a hospital. Of course this example is extreme. But then again, I never thought this would be my life.

Men who put their kids first = good.

Let me repeat that.

Men who put their kids first = good.

Thank You!

Men who put their kids first = good.

Let me repeat that.

Men who put their kids first = good.

Men who put their kids first = good.

Let me repeat that.

Men who put their kids first = good.

I second this

Not sure why you're asking us. You either like someone, and accept the whole package that is "them", or you don't. It shouldn't really be a question of 'date a guy with kids or not." That means all men are interchangeable to you, some just have kids, some don't. You either care enough about THIS GUY, as a unique person, or you don't. It's as ridiculous as my mom when she used to constantly tell me "you can fall in love with a rich man just as easily as a poor man." How about falling for (dating) the RIGHT guy. You'll know when you know and we have nothing to do with it.

I was a single father from when my daughter was a little over 1-year old until I met my wife, which is when my daughter was 2.5-years old (my daughter's Mom has never been in the picture). For most "broken family" type situations, you have to have a certain level of maturity and level headedness before you make a decision like this.
In my situation, my wife had to decide whether she wanted to hop into a "ready-made family"..........and with my daughter's bio-Mom not in the picture, my wife had to make that decision if she wanted to be recognized as "Mom" as my daughter grew up.
Even in homes where the parents are divorced, you still need a level of maturity and level headedness, as you might end up dealing with occassional inter-parental conflicts, rebellions against you by the children, and many other items that may arise.

If you don't feel that this is something you can endure, make the break now. Before meeting my wife, I dated several women who did not have the maturity or level headedness, and in the end, what was best for my daughter was paramount.

If you feel that this is something you are mentally ready to jump into, enjoy your time together.......you and him, and you with him and his family.

Look I lost my wife to cancer a couple years ago and have young kids. They come first. They always will. I am not goign to blow them off cause some woman wants to go to the movies or spend the day ****ing. You plan ahead though. I am very upfront. I got asked out by a woman a few weeks ago and it was on basketball practice night. It was the only night she was free. I told her I could no do then. ANy good woman will RESPECT that a dads first priority is his children. Women seem to gripe about good dads who nurture their kids as much as they gripe about dead beat dads! Its just crazy!

You are 33 and childless and now you are unsure about pursuing a relationship with a man who has children. Sound to me like you don't want children. They are older however and that makes a big difference. I don't think he would expect you to be a mother to his children. Why don't you talk to him about it instead?

Should he date somebody who doesn't have kids? Sorry but you sound a bit selfish and high maintenance, I suggest letting him find somebody who isn't so needy and selfish. Sorry but that's the way you made yourself out to be.