Breaking the "Fat Girl" Mentality

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  • hawaii86442
    hawaii86442 Posts: 167
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    That came to my mind today. I was at the bank and looked into their security mirror. I did not recognize the person in the mirror right away. It was me. I still think I am heavier and my hair is long and redder. So who is the person I have become??

    Thanks--and you are not alone.
  • amishabbie17
    amishabbie17 Posts: 69
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    I'm always amazed when people I know who have lost a lot of weight tell me that they still feel like a fat girl, even though it's been a few years for many of them. Basically, their mind doesn't "recognize" what their body now looks like and they still think they are fat (but not in an eating disordered way). I always assumed that when I got to my goal weight I would feel slim, strong, and fit, but now I'm wondering if getting to goal just brings a new set of challenges.

    Have any of you who have lost significant weight still felt fat? If you did but conquered it, how did you do it?


    I'm very much that way...At my heaviest i weighed 415 lbs that i'm aware of...I knew i was big...Was big before i got to that point..But didn't over-anaylis it, didn't even really think about to be honest that's why it got so bad...I now weigh 206 lbs. which is not skinny by far..but i'm out of obese and just overweight according to my bmi and feel fat more times now then i did 200 lbs ago when i was super super morbid-obese but that's because i'm more self'concious...It's kinda sad...when i was that big i knew people were staring at me because i was huge, it was normal...And now if i see people looking at me i feel like they are sizing me up...ALL the time...Always first to the negative thought. Hard to break but maybe someday.
  • laurie62ann
    laurie62ann Posts: 433 Member
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    bump - read later
  • NeverGivesUp
    NeverGivesUp Posts: 960 Member
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    I definitely still feel like I am fat. I cannot believe it when people call me petite. It is really hard for me to wrap my mind around it actually. I think 2013 will be the year I try to change how I see myself.
  • jacque1129
    jacque1129 Posts: 113 Member
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    I'm completely oblivious to how I look. When I was 195lbs I didn't think I was "that fat" and now that I'm 158 I feel fat! I have to look at fat pictures of myself to actually remember what I really did look like. Even at my lowest weight of 142 I thought I was fat. It's so freaking weird. But when I look at pictures of myself of when I was 142 I'm like jeez I was skinny.

    I don't understand it, and I'm hoping I can find my way out of this "fat tunnel vision" for the third time at trying to get down to my goal weight.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    That's totally me :-( I've lost 105 pounds. Went from 259 to 153 and I still feel disgusting. Hoping it passes. I accept compliments graciously, but part of me doesn't believe them.
  • SarahofTwins
    SarahofTwins Posts: 1,169 Member
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    Yes and no.

    Yes, because I was use to being big and sometimes I still see myself that way even though most say I'm skinny now. (Not sure why its hard to believe)

    No, because the smaller clothes I bought fit me really good and I'm able to do more things with my kiddos.
  • micheleld73
    micheleld73 Posts: 914 Member
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    I can see the transformation and I'm excited and pumped, but when I go shopping with friends who wear size 0 and 2 while I'm trying to fit into an 8 or 10 - yeah, I still feel EXTREMELY fat at that point.

    I thnk the best bet is to go about comparing to what YOU used to look like rather then how skinny someone else is - the latter is only depressing.
  • DefyGravity1977
    DefyGravity1977 Posts: 300 Member
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    I am afraid of the same thing, but with my therapy and the hard work I am putting in and it taking longer than normal that cycle is breaking down. I am no longer thinking of myself as the "fat girl" and am seeing myself for how strong I am.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I still see myself as big. I initially lost 35 lbs and although I went from a 14-10 I still felt big. I started strength training, added muscle (I took pics to see my progress) and look way more in shape than I did, and I still feel big. Right now I don't feel like a blimp, but I definitely don't think of myself as average size which I would consider a 10 to be.
    I actually feel worse about my body on some days than I used to and I think I look bigger.
  • karag413
    karag413 Posts: 32 Member
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    I know that I look better than I did, but I can't wrap my head around how much better I look.

    I see myself naked, I know how much further I have to go.

    This ^^
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    As you can see from my badge, I've lost a lot of weight. I still have 94 to go. My goal is to be at a healthy weight, so if I get to 160 great. If not, but I am below 200 I will be content. I look at myself now and I no longer see that "fat girl". I am no longer "morbidly obese", just obese, and like I said I do have 94 more pounds to go to "ideal weight" for my age and height, but I look and feel so much better and I can shop in "regular" stores now (I may still need the plus sizes in some things but it's not just Lane Bryant anymore!), However, I don't think I want to totally lose the "fat girl mentality" because I don't ever want to forget what it felt like when I was 386 pounds. Remembering what it felt like and looked like is going to help me keep it off when it's all said and done. You know?
  • vypeters
    vypeters Posts: 475 Member
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    It's still an adjustment.

    Examples:

    I still turn sideways to fit through spaces I can now walk through perfectly easily without turning.

    If a car is parked near mine, I am always suprised I can squeeze in without opening the door wide open.

    I'm still afraid to sit places that might not "take my weight" even though at 136 I can sit most places any adult can

    When I'm in a store trying on clothes I'll grab two sizes and often both are too big. My clothes still look way to small to fit me.

    I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Consciously I know that at BMI just under 21 I'm slim, but I've been very obese my entire adult life and those subconscious thought habits are hard to break.
  • betancourta229
    betancourta229 Posts: 171 Member
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    Bump
  • woodsygirl
    woodsygirl Posts: 354 Member
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    I felt fat even when I wore a size S. What changed my mentality was seeing photos of myself and strength training. Strength training was killing me with the scale, so I forced myself to just look hard at my body every morning naked in the mirror. When I started to develop muscles, my mind started to recognize that my body was changing and now I see myself differently. I had to change the shape of my body, not just the size in order to have it register ;)
  • GettinMyLifeBck
    GettinMyLifeBck Posts: 201 Member
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    Well Ive really enjoyed reading everyone else responses...When I started this journey a 1 1/2 ago I was 428 now 290 the size 28 was too tight for me in shirts and pants but I refused to go into a 30 because LB didn't sell that size. I am now in a 18 top and bottom... I thought I looked so good I would dress super fly and had jewelry for every outfit. I always looked so put together.. Now I feel like my self esteem is lower than ever how could this be??? The last I weighed 290 was when I was in junior high. In the summer of 2012 I got down to 275lb but became scared and started eating and stopped going to gym and making excuses.. I o longer worry about bangles and big rings and purses.. I still shop in plus but Im use to 28 and I still find myself asking for 26 at times...Its def a life time change and I hope my brain catches up so I feel confident to take and pose for pictures. When I was 428 I never hid from the camera...YIKES
  • mikeswife04
    mikeswife04 Posts: 130 Member
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    I am that way for sure..... I'm down around 90 pounds.... 220 to 134 and yeah I am trying to let that part go but It isn't easy..... When I go shopping I still walk straight to the size 12's... even though I know I wear a size 4 (ms) and 5 (jr).... I hope to overcome it one day but for now...yeah I still feel like the chubby one lol
  • awesome_inferno
    awesome_inferno Posts: 58 Member
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    Hun, I wish you would have a serious talk with your family about their "joking". It is not healthy or nice for them to say those things to you even if they are just "joking". :cry:
  • LoveMyLife_NYC
    LoveMyLife_NYC Posts: 230 Member
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    I still haven't conquered this mentality, so I'm curious to continue reading responses. When I think about my body, I still think of myself as 40 pounds heavier. I never thought I would wear the size clothes I'm in now. Sometimes I go to the store and pick out clothes in my biggest size to remind myself how far I've come, and I still can't believe I was ever that heavy. I see the new, skinny me when I look in the mirror, but she's not in my head yet.
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    Like others have stated, I did not see myself as morbidly obese as I was before I lost weight. I think it was a coping mechanism because had I truly realized how huge I was at 340 pounds, I would heve never left the house. It did take a while to get used to my new look. I've been at goal over 3 years and do see the "thin" me now.

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