What to tell your kids when you buy Christmas?
I meant to say, "when you can't buy Christmas".
I need some suggestions please: So, just what do you tell your kids, when they are getting nothing for Christmas? This is a first for me, so I have no idea what or how to tell them.
I have a 14 year old and an 8 year old. They are not used to this. This is the first time ever that I am unable to buy them anything they want for Christmas.
I need some suggestions please: So, just what do you tell your kids, when they are getting nothing for Christmas? This is a first for me, so I have no idea what or how to tell them.
I have a 14 year old and an 8 year old. They are not used to this. This is the first time ever that I am unable to buy them anything they want for Christmas.
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Replies
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I really need some suggestions here.0
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They aren't getting ANYTHING or they aren't getting what you think they want?0
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They are only getting one gift each from my older daughter.0
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Your financial situation can't be that big of a shock to them since I'm assuming they must see you struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis if you can't afford Christmas for them. I'd probably just be honest with them. Does the younger one believe in Santa still? Is there anyway you can maybe call your park district, or local charity/church/ect for some type of assistance?0
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Not to be rude but i wouldnt of let it happen. When we use to celebrate Christmas (we do Hanukkah now) there were many holidays we had no money due to unemployment and there ARE many resources for help. Toys 4 Tots, Food Pantries, Churches, Salvation Army, etc. One year they brought us a tree even!
Youre too late now for help (unless you get lucky posting on Craigslist) but id go to the Goodwill if you can get any money together and maybe buy an outfit or small toy.0 -
Not to be rude but i wouldnt of let it happen. When we use to celebrate Christmas (we do Hanukkah now) there were many holidays we had no money due to unemployment and there ARE many resources for help. Toys 4 Tots, Food Pantries, Churches, Salvation Army, etc. One year they brought us a tree even!
Youre too late now for help (unless you get lucky posting on Craigslist) but id go to the Goodwill if you can get any money together and maybe buy an outfit or small toy.
It's not like I let it happen. We are what I call "The working class poor" and only have money to pay our bills and at times they are paid late. Those resources will only help you if you are already on public assistance, and we do not qualify for public assistance. I will try going to goodwill or will maybe hit the dollar stores to try to find something.
Thanks for your suggestions!0 -
Your financial situation can't be that big of a shock to them since I'm assuming they must see you struggling to make ends meet on a daily basis if you can't afford Christmas for them. I'd probably just be honest with them. Does the younger one believe in Santa still? Is there anyway you can maybe call your park district, or local charity/church/ect for some type of assistance?
Yes the little one still believes in Santa. We make too much money to get any kind of assistance. The working class poor: as in we are only able to pay our day to day bills and pay some of them late as well.
Thanks for your time to reply.0 -
I really don't know how to reply to this
I feel for you, this must be very stressful!! But the only alternative would be if you did actually buy them gifts and then you spend the next couple months even more stressed trying to catch up on bills etc so no need to feel bad or anything 
My only advice to you is to remind yourself that Christmas isn't about the gifts, Plan your Christmas day with lots of family activities that you know your children love, Play board games with them, Go to park for a game of soccer, include them when you do some baking,
Present's or not, there's no reason why this can't be the best Christmas ever!!
xx0 -
Oh and maybe let your 14yr know what's going on, you don't want him/her waking up on christmas expecting present's and being disapointed.0
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Maybe you can write each of them a nice letter telling how much you love them, make some cookies in a box or write a coupon for a visit to the park or for some other activity together? Even a small Christmas chocolate would probably do. Dollar store crafts or toys are great. Go to the good will stores too, I always find stuff for less than a dollar, they have books, toys, clothes, etc. If you want to get more time to look for more options, you can maybe tell them that this year the gifts are coming on January 1rst because the North Pole has not finished wrapping gifts on time.0
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When my birthday or Christmas rolled around when I was younger, this tended to happen a lot. Most of my presents would come from my extended family, which I am fortunate enough to be very close with but my mom would always be very sad and hard on herself that she couldn't get me all that much. Having raised me as a single parent, finances would go up and down, but mostly stay on the 'down' side of things, especially when I grew to develop clinical major depression and needed more and more of her time, leading her to quit her job and go on welfare.
I remember one year she comes downstairs with this sad look in her eyes and passes me a fake, perfumed rose she'd bought at a drugstore, I think. It was probably one of the best presents I'd ever gotten. It assured me I'd never be forgotten and it only cost her a buck.
Christmas is about family and I appreciated the time spent with her more than anything.
Unless your kids are spoiled rotten beasts, which I doubt, they'll understand. You have to make do with your financial situation and sometimes, gifts just aren't in the repertoire. Maybe make an extra special breakfast if you can and then sit them down at the table and talk to them about it? "It's been a pretty rough year and we've been struggling" sort of thing. Maybe do a family craft day instead and give each other what you make!
Good luck, I hope things are better next year. c:0 -
Buy them a 2nd hand something from a charity shop or school fayre etc - my local ones have toys starting from about 10p (12 cents?) Which pretty much anyone can find just once a year! Or make something if you're talented that way. Even if you just revamp an old dress and wrap it up, put SOME kind of present in their hands on xmas day...0
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you tell them the truth. but make the day extra special. like something they will remember for the rest of their lives. so someday Gaylynn, they can be sitting around saying.... remember the time at christmas mom and dad made it so wonderful by ....... that was the best. and they will. i grew up in a house that couldnt afford gifts at christmas... but what made it so special was the and now i am dating myself.... my dad would take out the home movies and we would watch them listening to christmas music on the records... oh my goodness im old. just make it special is what im trying to say!!!!! they are good kids...they will understand!!!!! Merry Christmas to you and yours!!!0
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Just spend the day with them and make it about family. Make cookies, or have them do crafts. Construction paper and crayons can't be that expensive. Like a lot of people here mentioned go to the dollar store and buy some small things or get them some kind of candy. And be honest with them about it as well. Kids will surprise you at how understanding they can be in difficult situations.0
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Whatever you decide to do, please include an explanation appropriate for their ages. My parents were often in that situation when I was young. An explanation would have been much nicer than the things I was imagening in my young head. There are many suggestions above. Next thing to do is set aside just $2 per month for the year. That's a bit less than 50 cents a week. That will give you $24 to spend next year. If you can manage $1 per week, you will have $52 in a year.0
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Like everyone else is saying, do things together that day. Take them out to the park, or out on a hike, or cook a meal and treats together. Make it a day about being together instead of a day about getting presents. If you have a park with a lake or a river get some bread and feed the ducks, i'm sure your 8 year old would love that!0
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My husband works crazy hours and I have two jobs. We don't have cable, fancy things, and barely scrape by each month. I know how stressful it is. We sometimes eat ramen noodles the whole week that rent is due. My husband and I started budgeting money away 3 months ago in anticipation for Christmas. I mean, 5 bucks here and there adds up. We also both picked up extra shifts for the last two weeks. My second job sucks and pays mInimum wage but whatever, do what you have to. I just have a hard time believing you couldn't have planned a little better.0
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Do you belong to a church? If so, let someone there know you're struggling and cannot provide even one gift for your kids. You'd be shocked at what a church will do to help. Even if you don't belong, maybe call a local church and tell them anyway. Ask for help. There are always people willing to help, you just have to let them know you need it.
When I was a kid, one year we didn't have any money. There were 4 of us kids, ages 11-16 or so. Someone from our church put an envelope in our mailbox with cash in it. We each got a gift from that, and we bought gifts for another family that needed help too. That year showed me what Christmas is about - helping your neighbors, sharing gifts, love, and kindness.
Good luck to you and your family.0 -
http://www.gpuc.org
http://www.gptx.org/index.aspx?page=609
http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/cgi-bin/id/city.cgi?city=Grand Prairie&state=TX (these are organizations that help the poor, not just the homeless)
If you belong to a church, approach them for help as well.
If you had prepared them for this ahead of time, I'd say just try to make the best of it, but you haven't said anything and it's 3 days before they wake up to nothing without any warning. I think you should suck it up, and ask for help from anyone who's willing to listen to your story. This is the time of year when people actually want to help, and they want to help people they can tell really need it.0 -
One year, I was so broke. My kids Father and I split and so I was expected to do it all alone. I never had any financial help from my kids Father and so I was depressed. I felt so guilty. I literally managed to buy my kids 2 or 3 gifts (cheap ones) and I tried to get together a decent Christmas dinner. It (in my opinion) was a poor excuse for a Christmas (excuse the pun). That year we spent a lot of time playing old games, exploring their old toys and watching TV. We watched a lot of different versions of 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles ****ens. Scrooged, Muppets, Christmas Carol and a few more. That night I was quiet and sombre and my kids came and sat on my lap and asked what was wrong. I explained that I didn't have a lot of money, that their father didn't too and so I felt bad that their Christmas was not that great and I got the biggest surprise of my life! My son who was seven at the time hugged me and smiled. He stated that he had the best Christmas ever as we played and had a good dinner and my daugter who was nine agreed eagerly and finished with saying, "anyway Christmas is not about presents, it's about being with Family and feeling grateful for what we have, there are worse off people than us and we are lucky to have you." I had never felt so proud, humbled or honoured to have been their Mother and even now the Christmas message is still held in their hearts.0
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I wish you had posted earlier, I would have sent you something for your 8 year old.0
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Make them something. Get them to make each other something. One year I did baking and fudge for christmas presents for the extended family. Another year I did a large bowl filled with baking essential and herbs and spices. I made sure that my MIL got all sorts of nuts as she loves to bake but is on a fixed income.
It's not about what you can buy, it's about what you can give. And you time is one of the most precious you can give a child. I wish you well for christmas.0 -
Maybe there's something you already have that you can give them? You didn't say if they were boys or girls, but if they're girls, maybe there's a necklace or a scarf or something that you have that they like and you can give it to them, saying you want them to think of how much you love them whenever they wear it. Maybe a favorite photo of you together you could frame in a little frame from the dollar store. One of my favorite gifts ever was my grandmother's button box she gave me when she got too old to sew anymore.
But you should probably talk to them before Christmas morning. You could even ask them what they would like to do. Explain that there's not much money for gifts this year, but you want to give them the gift of time and what would they like to do that day? Decorate cookies? Build a snowman? You could even talk about helping people who can't be with their families and make cards from construction paper for servicemen (you can send them to the Red Cross http://www.redcross.org/ca/los-angeles/ways-to-donate/individual-gifts/holiday-mail-for-heroes).
God bless you, and wishes for a better year!0 -
Make them something. Get them to make each other something. One year I did baking and fudge for christmas presents for the extended family. Another year I did a large bowl filled with baking essential and herbs and spices. I made sure that my MIL got all sorts of nuts as she loves to bake but is on a fixed income.
It's not about what you can buy, it's about what you can give. And you time is one of the most precious you can give a child. I wish you well for christmas.
This reminds me of when we were kids and money was tight, my parents made owl and toadstool shaped candles and macrame hangers for everyone! Clearly, it was the 70's! I thought they were just cool because they were crafty and handmade (and I still make stuff!) but they were also inexpensive...0 -
Have you tried Toys for tots? You are the reason they exist. They can help you get something for the kids. My mother was a single parent with three kids who also had very little for holidays. Looking back I can see that the items that we did get were second hand. But what I remember most about those days are the traditions that we did. The happiness of the holiday was fighting with my sister to see who was going to make the dessert. Or waiting for my grandfather to show up to make sure Santa was no longer there. I remember the best present I got was this ugly green bike. It came from a junk yard and my grandfather helped fix it up but I rode that thing for hours on Christmas day and we are in PA so it was cold.
Christmas doesn't have to be expensive to be memorable. I would also explain to your kids the situation. The 14 year old will understand better than the 8 year old but you may be surprised what they say.0 -
This happened to us one year when I was younger. My mum lost her job 2 months before Christmas and was fighting for unfair dismissal. We decided to make presents for each other from things we found in the house. I remember making my mum a notepad holder by sanding a small piece of wood for hours, tying the paper in with string and attaching a pencil I had also sanded off to match. My mum still has it. My sister embroidered me a book mark because I love books, I still have it.
We were told that Christmas would be late and we were each given a small amount of money to spend in the sales which we loved. It could have been sd but was actually a lovely Christmas.0 -
First of all, let me say how sorry I am that you are in this situation. It is not as unusual as people think. My daughter is in the same situation. She is a single mom of two boys and works hard, but doesn't make enough to made ends meet. If it weren't for me and my husband, the kids probably wouldn't have much of a Christmas. I spoke to her today and she was going shopping to spend her entire paycheck on gifts. No bills are getting paid this week, which means everything will pile up even further. I tried to talk her out of it, but she wouldn't hear of it. In a few weeks, I'm sure we'll get a phone call for money so something doesn't get turned off. She was on welfare for a few years and got many presents from different organizations, but now that she is working, she doesn't qualify. This is what is wrong with society. Hang in there. I hope that next year will be a better year for all.0
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You do not have to be on public assistance to get help from the various agencies. There may be some that require that but it is definitely not all of them. We have one local agency that is helping all the way up to Christmas eve. You may try to ask around more in your community for what may be available.0
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This brought tears to my eyes. 2012 was a rough year for us as well, I was unemployed all year until a few weeks ago and,my husband was also unemployed for the first quarter of the year. Anyhow, I picked up a few things here and there on clearance toward the end of summer. Regardless, we've always only let my son ask Santa for 3 things and then he knows that mommy and daddy work hard so he can get more than that. So this year, he's 6 1/2 and a couple of months ago I let him know that there would just be less this year because mommy and daddy didn't work all year. I was shocked by how understanding he was with the situation. As far as your 8 year old goes, definitely try to get to Goodwill and get something. Do you have an Ollie's near you? For the 14 year old, maybe a promise of a special more grown up day.0
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I am so sorry you are having a sad Christmas. It is always such a hard time of year. We want to do so much for our families, like so many people around us, but when all the money you have goes to pay bills it is depressing.
It is such a cliche, but love and comfort really is the most important. The gifts are a real treat and so much fun. However, the love from a caring Mom cannot be equaled.
Think of a special day's worth of activities. Can you volunteer somewhere? That brings a good feeling inside of ourselves. I like someone's earlier suggestion of writing letters to your children to open on Christmas day. They will treasure these forever. Watch $1.00 redbox movies all day and stay in your pajamas. That is sweet and cozy.
I know these suggestions pale in comparison to being able to buy presents for your kids. Life can be too challenging sometimes.0
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