Men and their weight room

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veggiehottie
veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
I am so tired of men who think they own the weight room! Ugh.

I have been lifting for years, and am proud to say that I know my $&it! Today I went to a new gym and attempted to show my 9 year old son how to lift for his first time (I am a single mom, and unfortunately do not know any guys who can show him this).

The men in this room were soooooooo rude. Basically crowding us out, not caring where we were standing, etc. etc. No smiles were to be found and some of them even looked annoyed. (This was not all the guys in the room, some of them were doing their own thing too, and left us alone.)

I have experienced this before when I was solo, but never to the extent as today when I was with my kiddo. I mean, what is that? Because I was the only woman in the room? Because I was attempting to show my son how to do it? Because we were new faces?
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Replies

  • Arleigh7
    Arleigh7 Posts: 150 Member
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    sorry to hear that the folks in the gym were so rude! But one comment I have is a 9 year old is way to young to be in a gym let alone the weight lifting area. I'm actually very surprised the gym let you bring him in.

    I know at my gym the age limit is 16 years old and I can't think of when I've seen anyone that young in the lifting area.

    I really don't think it's appropriate to bring someone that young into an area where if they are not paying attention (and what 9 year old pays attention?) they could get seriously hurt.

    I think doing basketball or tennis or racquetball even would be great and maybe some group classes where they allow 9 year olds to attend would be good. But not the weight lifting area of a gym.
  • docktorfokse
    docktorfokse Posts: 473 Member
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    I don't like to jump to the conclusion that someone's an *kitten* because you're a certain race, sex, etc. I think the guys at your gym just didn't pass sandbox 101 and learn to share.
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    @Arleigh - I know of an 8 year old boy who deadlifts over 100lbs. So long as it's done safely, there is no problem with children resistance training - most issues are related to attention span.

    I think the guys in this gym are just rude; nothing to do with much else - that's probably just what the culture is in that gym.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    I know. Everyone treats me like a beginner. Or that I'm invisible.
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    Actually, my gym DOES allow 9 year olds in (it is the minimum age). They even have intro strength training classes for them!

    The attention was a bit of a problem, but he did relatively well. :)

    I did some research on it before taking him in, and read that weight lifting with light weights would be appropriate for his age level. I did not have him lifting heavy or anything, just little dumbbells.

    He is a big, strong kid (4''11, 110 pounds, looks like he is 13). He can reach all of the machines, there is no way they thought he was too little. He can physically handle it, in my opinion.
  • KatieJane83
    KatieJane83 Posts: 2,002 Member
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    I have to agree with Arleigh7, I think it might be more of an age thing. As far as I know a lot of gyms have age limits and I have a feeling 9 is probably beneath most of those limits. You might have actually been breaking a gym rule by bringing him with you, I'd check with a manager there.

    Edit: never mind, I just saw your response, lol.
  • apexgtp
    apexgtp Posts: 64 Member
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    When I'm in the weight room I dont smile at anyone, I dont talk to anyone, I'm focused. In my opinion maybe they were just trying to get their workout in. My son is 9 years old and I would NEVER let him in the weight room. Our free weights start at 20 lbs and there is no way he could lift that or reach any of the machines. They were probably wondering what he was doing there.
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    I've got a 10 year old son, and as much as I approve of kiddo's learning to exercise wisely, I have to say I'd find it really weird to see a mother in the gym with a child that age as well. I wouldn't stare or be funny about it, would just think, hmmm kinda strange and carry on with my workout though lol.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
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    There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.

    Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym. Not because I don't think they should work out or learn, just that I go to the gym to get away from kids.
  • jesz124
    jesz124 Posts: 1,004 Member
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    There are a few posts of this kind, not re your son, but the way women perceive they are treated, and I always scratch my head as I have never encountered any rudeness or special attention (unless I am doing barbell hip thrusts or pull through's possibly) because I am female. Maybe I am just oblivious but I have been to a few gyms and nothing has stood out to me as being treated differently than a guy.

    Exactly the same here. I have used several different gyms, several being military gyms, very macho and male dominated. Never ever had any hassle, strange behaviour, unfriendly attitudes whatsoever. Well not to my face anyway..... Maybe I've just been lucky though?
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    Just hold your own. I consider it the opposite of sexist when the men don't give me special treatment.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    You posted the question, so I presume you want honest answers and opinions. . . A commercial weightlifting gym is not a place for (most) 9 year olds. Many people feel that the gym is their respite and escape from children for a little while. That does NOT excuse overtly rude behavior though. Remember, the gym is not normally a bastion of polite behavior and social grace. But if you believe you're being treated badly, man up (pun intended) and SAY SO!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Most women, in their life time, are not subjected to equal treatment. In the weight room, is one place where a woman might feel more of what it's like when men are neutral towards you.

    They aren't smiling, kissing your *kitten*, holding the door for you, or trying to make you laugh. At that moment, they don't even care that you exist.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    ^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.
  • MeDoula
    MeDoula Posts: 233 Member
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    I kind of feel the same way but today, we had several other women there and I was able to compare. They acted just like the guys do. I think what we perceive as serious, unfriendly, rude, etc. is just FOCUS. I also checked my attitude and I noticed that I'm very serious myself when I lift. I probably even look annoyed. lol
  • flechero
    flechero Posts: 260 Member
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    Me, either. Not so sure I'd be happy about a 9 year old in the gym........ I go to the gym to get away from kids.

    The OP checked and the son is in the age allowed... sounds like you should review your gym's policy on age limits. I see a father and son in my gym about 3 days a week- the son is one of the most considerate and polite people I ever see there. Not to mention, he's a hard worker- I like seeing him there, it helps me stay motivated.


    anyone who doesn't want to see younger people at the gym should seek out an adults only gym.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    OP, I don't want to bust your bubble, but the way you were treated at the new gym is the same way I'm treated at my gym. No one smiles at me. No one cares where I am working out. They will take my weights and my station if I step away for a moment. This IS normal treatment at the gym.

    Is there some possibility that you are used to the courtesies usually afforded to women IRL, and are shocked and appalled when we treat you like one of the guys?

    ^ This. There is a little chit chat at my gym but its minimal and people are focused on what they're doing. People go to the weight room to work out, not baby sit. I'll add that the title of this thread "Men and their weight room" already puts me on edge as to your attitude around men. I may be over reacting but my first impression was, you're raising a son - cool it.

    ^ What they both said
  • veggiehottie
    veggiehottie Posts: 590 Member
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    Maybe they were treating me as one of the guys. Who knows? Maybe next time I will go in there with a different mindset.

    I CAN tell you that I am not the only woman who is put off and intimidated by men in weight rooms. Men do treat women differently in the weight room then they do their buddies.

    I see nothing wrong with taking my son into the gym. Exercise, including but not limited to weight lifting, is a huge priority in my life. I am happy to include him in it and know enough about physiology to know it will not hurt him.

    The gym I go to is a YMCA. I would hope people do not go there to get away from kids.

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