wedding/ engagement rings...
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I know it's a different generation, but I am shocked by the extravagant diamond rings I see on most of these young brides. They love to flash their rings, and I honestly think they feel entitled to a big fancy ring. They are going into debt for a ring. A boyfriend won't propose because he can't afford a fancy enough ring.
I don't know -- I remember the saying that he should spend 2 months salary. I never paid any attention, and neither did my husband. I still love my ring, and the man that gave it to me, almost 25 years later. It's a nice ring. About half a caret.
I have friends and family who had a tiny chip of a diamond and were thrilled to get it. I just don't think that my generation cared as much. I think there is pressure on these young people, and I'm not sure when it all started.
I don't know what brought this little rant on, but I am kind of tired of listening to people whine about bills, and talk about their past due notices, and going on government aid, while sporting some big extravagant ring. And no, they aren't fake diamonds. It's just that when they get married, it's all about the ring and the wedding. People go into debt. Then the reality sets in, and the bills just keep coming. Want to start a family? Great -- but more expenses.
I guess I wish people might have a little more common sense. If you don't have, or don't expect to ever have, a higher income, maybe you should think about your lifestyle a little bit before you jump in and buy a $10,000 rings, or spend $30,000 on a wedding.
I hope that this trend subsides, and people come back to reality a little bit. Not everyone needs to be dripping in diamonds, and it doesn't prove he loves you more, if he buys you a bigger diamond. The man is way more important than the ring.
Ok -- I'm done now. Thanks for this outlet to let off a little steam!
I don't know -- I remember the saying that he should spend 2 months salary. I never paid any attention, and neither did my husband. I still love my ring, and the man that gave it to me, almost 25 years later. It's a nice ring. About half a caret.
I have friends and family who had a tiny chip of a diamond and were thrilled to get it. I just don't think that my generation cared as much. I think there is pressure on these young people, and I'm not sure when it all started.
I don't know what brought this little rant on, but I am kind of tired of listening to people whine about bills, and talk about their past due notices, and going on government aid, while sporting some big extravagant ring. And no, they aren't fake diamonds. It's just that when they get married, it's all about the ring and the wedding. People go into debt. Then the reality sets in, and the bills just keep coming. Want to start a family? Great -- but more expenses.
I guess I wish people might have a little more common sense. If you don't have, or don't expect to ever have, a higher income, maybe you should think about your lifestyle a little bit before you jump in and buy a $10,000 rings, or spend $30,000 on a wedding.
I hope that this trend subsides, and people come back to reality a little bit. Not everyone needs to be dripping in diamonds, and it doesn't prove he loves you more, if he buys you a bigger diamond. The man is way more important than the ring.
Ok -- I'm done now. Thanks for this outlet to let off a little steam!
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Replies
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If my husband were to have spent 2 months salary on my ring, he would have had $10-15k to work with. I don't know how much he spent, but I do know I have what most would consider a flashy ring ( I know my ex husband's new wife thinks I'm pretentious ). I love the ring, and he picked it out for me because he knew that #1 I had a small chip the first time and I was embarassed by it. #2 I don't wear jewelry other than my wedding set. #3 I liked the style/setting... the karat weight wasn't the important factor. #4 he didn't go into debt to get it. He could afford it, and it made me happy. I think people who complain about the size of other people's rings are jealous.0
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My husband didnt buy our rings, I did. $80 at walmart for mine and $20 at Kmart for his.0
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I don't spend a lot of time worrying about what others spent on their rings.
I love my ring and wouldn't ever compare it to another.
One might say "sour grapes said the fox"0 -
I still love my ring, and the man that gave it to me, almost 25 years later. It's a nice ring.
I so agree
September will be 25 years for me as well. My engagement ring is .75 carats. For me it is perfect. Perfect for what it represents. Perfect because it was picked out by the man who to this day loves me, and I love him. Though my weight struggles. Our financial struggles. Life's struggles. I was blessed. The ring? It's just jewelry. 0 -
My rings are modest, I think. Less than a ct for the engagement (solitaire) and a beautiful band purchased on Etsy. It was far less than 1 month's salary. I wanted to be married and the ring expense was the least of my concern. I chose the engagement ring below the budget given to me because I wanted something practical for me. I would have said yes if he gave me a plastic child's ring. I used to think that the ring meant something beyond the promises made in marriage, but in reality it was me wanting to show the world that I was above average. I am happy with my not too flashy but definitely 'me' wedding set and my way above average husband
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My husband proposed in Bermuda with a plain silver band. I LOVED IT! When we got home he brought out the real ring. He didn't want to take it overseas. I was shocked because I am not a jewelry person and did love the simple band. My ring is probably what you would consider flashy. However, it reminds me of my mom's ring (who has been married for 40 years and it is her original ring I guess you would probably consider it flashy also) and I thought it was beautiful. He didn't buy something he couldn't afford and I agree you shouldn't go into debt. However, other people's finances are not of my concern. Also.. I never felt entitled or flash it around. My ring finger is a size 2 so really it can only support so much ring. hahah To each their own!0
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While I agree, many younger women are very obnoxious with their rings, and I personally get tired of hearing how much their fiances/husbands spent on their ring. I really don't care, although I could see better uses for that kind of money. But I'd like to point out that not all younger women are like that. My engagement ring is a small sapphire set in white gold with some tiny diamonds around it, it cost about a weeks worth of my husband's salary at the time--if he had spent more on it I would have been really annoyed with him. My wedding band is titanium, and was even less expensive than my engagement ring. And our entire wedding cost about $500, we could have afforded (paying cash upfront) a far more expensive wedding, but we decided we would rather have money in the bank than a large, stressful wedding. Other people make different decisions, and that is their prerogative.
One funny thing I have noticed though is that many women are surprised, and even seem to feel sorry for me when they realize that the pretty but small ring on my hand is my engagement ring. They say nice things to try to sort of make it better, it almost makes me want to laugh, but their hearts are in the right place I guess.0 -
I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.
We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.
We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.0 -
My rings are modest, I think. Less than a ct for the engagement (solitaire) and a beautiful band purchased on Etsy. It was far less than 1 month's salary. I wanted to be married and the ring expense was the least of my concern. I chose the engagement ring below the budget given to me because I wanted something practical for me. I would have said yes if he gave me a plastic child's ring. I used to think that the ring meant something beyond the promises made in marriage, but in reality it was me wanting to show the world that I was above average. I am happy with my not too flashy but definitely 'me' wedding set and my way above average husband
At one point I actually told my husband to propose with one of those plastic rings, I even handed him a quarter. Apparently he thought that was going too far.0 -
I won't lie I have a really nice ring and band, but I never wear them. At this point I don't see the point of an engagement or a wedding ring at all. But whatever people want to do with their money and hands are fine with me.0
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I'm not engaged yet, but I asked my boyfriend of almost 5 years (and counting) to please NOT spend a lot or buy me something big and flashy. I'm a country girl. I work in a daycare center, have horses, shovel manure, haul hay, etc. Something big and flashy would get caught on the gloves I wear to change diapers at work, on the twine on my hay bales, and get dirty when I do my chores.
My mom got a beautiful folded gold rose with a small diamond chip as her engagement ring almost 30 years ago, and it's gorgeous. I'd love something simple like that, but in a silver/white gold, because I'm not a big yellow gold fan. However, no matter what my ring looks like, even if it cost a quarter out of the machine at walmart, I'll love it because it's from him.
I know so many girls that brag about their big flashy rings, and it bothers me honestly. It should be about love, not the cost and size of the ring.0 -
I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.
We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.
We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.
While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:
- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).0 -
Way to make sweeping generalizations.
I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.0 -
I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.
We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.
We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.
While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:
- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).
I agree with the above. For well under 10K my husband and I had a great wedding.. better than we could of imagined and our guests raved about it for months.. and that included everything (rings, dress, guest favours, food, open bar, ceremony, flowers, guys flowers, bridal party gifts etc). That money also included my engagement ring which is an amazing ring that I love. We decided to spend the money on our honeymoon and our house instead of the wedding as well as have some money put into savings.
Personally, I think 40K is better spent elsewhere but it's your money to do what you want with. If you would rather spend 40K on a wedding than a house, vehicle, emergency savings etc, that's your choice.
I dont agree with the OP... not every younger lady wants a huge, fancy and expensive ring. I absolutely love my small ring that was not very expensive at all. I would of been angry if my husband spent thousands on a ring for me.0 -
Not all young women that are married or complain about not having enough to get by on spent all of their money on stupid things. The only debt I have is student debt. But then again, I don't whine and complain about it because I know that there are people way worse off than I am.
But some women with the pretty and shiny big rings can afford such things. Not all, that's for sure, but try not to group them all into one category. I have a beautiful engagement ring and a simple wedding band. Neither cost a lot at all, because my husband and I married very young and were just starting out.0 -
Way to make sweeping generalizations.
I find patting yourself on the back for having the "sensibility" to get a smaller, more modest ring and holding yourself higher than those you choose to judge just as distasteful as those who insist they have the biggest/most expensive/flashiest ring they can find and brag about it.
^This.
shame, shame, shame.0 -
As a young woman myself, I completely agree with you. Spending a ton of money on a ring is such a useless way to waste it.
And, so many women get caught up in the wedding, rather than the marriage. The ring is a symbol, it could be made out of string or steel. It's not important. What's more important is the meaning behind the ring, but it seems as if a lot of my generation has forgotten that. It's quite sad. Maybe that's why divorce is skyrocketing.. because people don't realize it's not about the ring or the dress or the food. It's just about the unity.0 -
When my fiance proposed to me, he didn't even have a ring. He cannot afford a diamond but he's doing the best he can. But I know his love is true, and a ring doesn't mean much to me. (I'm 22) Not all of us in this generation are all about big, flashy rings. I love my fiance and I didn't need a ring to make me want to become his wife.0
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I'm honestly tired of people speaking positively or negatively about the size of any person's ring. I have a beautiful 1.4 carat solitaire set on a platinum band. My fiance and I got our wedding bands last week, and mine is a row of diamonds set in platinum. His is a white gold band. They were not cheap.
We both have good jobs, and my diamond is a family heirloom on his side. It's amazing, beautiful, and it's mine. Neither of us are in debt due to these rings, and I don't understand why I wouldn't "deserve" something beautiful just because I'm young.
We are spending 40K on a wedding (which, by the way, is not very high). Come to NY and see the 100-200K weddings happening every day.
While I realize that 40k is not a particularly expensive wedding as modern weddings go, and I also realize that it is your money and absolutely none of my business, I would like to point out that for many people, 40k is a lot of money. In concrete terms:
- 40k is a down payment on a house in many places in the U.S..
- 40k is two inexpensive new cars, or one fairly nice new car.
- 40k is more than my undergraduate education cost.
- 40k is nearly twice the poverty level income for a family of four (about 23k in the U.S.).
This is the truth and reality.
How wonderful for the person that thinks $40k is nothing. But it is all relative.0 -
I don't care what people do. If you don't know how to manage your finances or you live above your means, too bad for you.
If you can afford a big friggin ring and that's what you want, good for you. If you want a ring from Walmart, go on with your bad self.
I've got a sweet rock and if anyone has an opinion about it, they can bite me :happy:0
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