Mixed Signals!

So I've had this friend & he goes 2 a different uni than me. we've known eachother for about a yr and a half and we got really close over the summr and shiz and we started skyping/ txting all the time.

Around mid Nov. he started getting rlly busy with finals and he stopped sending me good morning/ good night texts/ stopped txting me first 4 the most part. We still talk-- we've skyped maybe three times between then and now. And still all the time he says he loves talking to me and he *hugs* me in our conversations all the time, but I've noticed a change....

I mean, okay, I know this all sounds kinda weird and all but I really have noticed that we don't talk as much. What I don't want to happen is for me 2 keep contacting him more than he wants me 2 or something 'cause i don't want him 2 think i'm clingy.

I rlly want 2 start the new year off fresh and on a good foot but i don't know if I should talk to him about why he hasn't been contacting me as much? Would that seem intrusive/ give him 2nd thoughts if he didn't already have them? I mean, he's still really nice when we do talk and he flirts w/ me a bit i think but I'm getting so many mixed signals & I rlly don't know what to do!
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Replies

  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Please tell me you don't text talk to him in real life as well.

    Is it that hard to complete a word?
  • Only sometimes. ;)
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    with grammar skills like that, he may not want to talk to you...the red pen would be in full force....yikes.
  • Well Happy New Year to you too. :/
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    Your typing makes my head hurt...


    You two should Just Break Up.
  • ...
    Thanks for the help u guys.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    ...
    Thanks for the help u guys.

    *you
  • Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    Go get the book "He is just not that into you" and read it.
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?
    Well I can't even tell what the heck you are trying to say. Type again in whole words and we'll see if we can help.
    I will say however that text talk usually means some kind of lack of maturity. Which, people don't like.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    I wouldn't crows him or ask him...just be yourself.
  • sillygoosie
    sillygoosie Posts: 1,109 Member
    He's busy, you're busy. You are both living your own lives. It's normal to grow apart.

    Everyone else railed on your writing so I'll just leave it alone. :grumble:
  • I know how you feel, I've been where you are now, and I've learned a lot about men. If you want real advice, private message me.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Simply asking him if there's been a change in the friendship (either way) seems a reasonable thing. You might not get a straight answer, but you at least would have done the adult thing and approached it well.
  • Please tell me you don't text talk to him in real life as well.

    Is it that hard to complete a word?

    lol I started spacing after I saw "shiz"
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I'm not trying to be mean, but writing so we can understand you would go along way..

    But from what I can understand:

    He's not talking to you as much as he was?
    You want to know why?

    Ask him.
    Talk to him.
    Be an adult
    If he won't answer you, then quit wasting your time
  • Ugh.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
  • rousehouse
    rousehouse Posts: 133 Member
    You're probably over-thinking this. I wouldn't worry about talking to him "too much". He's probably been busy during the holidays and I'm sure he'd like to hear from you.
  • he was keeping you "in the wings" for the ego strokes & has now found someone closer in whom he is more interested. sorry. move on.
  • ew513
    ew513 Posts: 35
    I won't be nasty about your post. I don't know how old you are but I think it is a good idea to tell him that you know he has been busy and you miss talking as much as you used to. But with the start of a new year, you just wanted to clear the air and be honest with each other. Knowing the truth, even if it hurts, is better than what your imagination will put you through imagining the worst. Good luck.
  • wareagle8706
    wareagle8706 Posts: 1,090 Member
    The way I see it is he's found someone in person to talk to and hang out with.

    Seems like you might have just been someone to pass the time until he found someone he could hang out with in person. Not to sound harsh, I've just seen that happen before.

    Maybe he wasn't using you on purpose, maybe it just happened by chance that he found someone in person to talk to/be friends with and therefore isn't texting you as much.
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
    with grammar skills like that, he may not want to talk to you...the red pen would be in full force....yikes.

    Goodness me, you're rude. With written skills like yours I would keep quiet. Ellipsis is THREE dots, not four and there would be a space when you've finished with them. You might also like to consider some capital letters and perhaps, an exclamation mark after the word, "Yikes".

    M'kay? :wink:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    You're probably over-thinking this. I wouldn't worry about talking to him "too much". He's probably been busy during the holidays and I'm sure he'd like to hear from you.

    :flowerforyou:
  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
    Ditch him. If you're having to start threads on forums for advice on what to do, that should be indication enough that whoever he is, he isn't worth your time. I still make the effort to talk to friends I knew in first/primarily school but who I rarely ever see these days - and they make the effort back, it's a mutual thing. Also, please update your profile, it doesn't look like you're taking much seriously.

    I read in your profile "to be beautiful for my bf". Do you have a bf AND a guy you get "really close" with, or are they the same guy? Maybe he knows your secret! lol

    I usually really hate it when people type like you just have, I grew out of it when I was about 15 I think, but I think it's too much trouble to go to, to make a post like this if you're not genuinely serious, so I'll spare you copious amounts of sarcasm :) Good luck with your weight loss, you'll find it easier to focus on if you tell him where to go.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
    he could have met someone new... Sorry to say. But if his attention has shifted off you, then someone else is getting his attention. I would distance yourself also. Start the New Year fresh.
  • __Jamie__
    __Jamie__ Posts: 109 Member
    Yes.
    You.
    I know how to write.
    I just don't care to write correctly at the moment.
    I'm upset, okay? You guys around here say you're nice but... I was just asking for some help, okay?

    if you really want advice...grow some balls and straight out ask him what is up....you seem to have a great friendship, and yes you two were busy at school, so since its the start to a new semester/new year be upfront with him.

    sorry linds...I disagree.

    Last thing guys like is why? why? why?
    This is true. Men HATE a ton of questions. Even if they love you...

    I must be an exception (: I do love a grilling... It's a prime opportunity to wind my girlfriend up lol
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    It doesn't sound like mixed signals to me, it sounds like you have a crush and you're trying to see behaviors in him that he's not actually showing.

    If he has sensed that you have romantic feelings for him and he does not return them, he's going to create distance instead of continuing a close relationship.

    Time to suck it up and decide what you want. You're not in a relationship with him and he has no obligation whatsoever to continue any pattern of behavior. He may have just transitioned past needing your constant attention.

    If you can't handle hearing the feedback that doesn't coddle your crush, I recommend seeking the sympathy of your RL friends, and not the advice of strangers.