Men's views on women's bodies

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  • Weebs628
    Weebs628 Posts: 574 Member
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    Do you really think men judge women's bodies more than other women do.....really? :huh:

    ^^ Haha! This! I'm always sizing up other women and comparing myself to them.
  • Bobby__Clerici
    Bobby__Clerici Posts: 741 Member
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    As for body types...
    All any of us can be is our own best, so forget any other standard of beauty but your full potential.
    The path to misery is when we compare ourselves to others.
    Don't do it.
    There is no winning in that game.
    :flowerforyou:
  • peggysue218
    peggysue218 Posts: 126 Member
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    I can almost tell you 99% sure, men don't like women who are insecure.

    I know. In day-to-day life I disguise my self-doubt well. I'm fortunate that, even at my current weight, many men find me to be confident and appealing. I just get fixated on this negativity sometimes when I'm alone. Anyway - Looks like I'll have to sort through this with the therapist.
  • Raythomas1
    Raythomas1 Posts: 68
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    ^
  • sm1zzle
    sm1zzle Posts: 920 Member
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    In my opinion a lot women think they're "fat" when to me they look ideal. I think a person who is 5-10 pounds over weight looks better than someone who is 5-10 under weight.
  • Christy175
    Christy175 Posts: 60 Member
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    I have the opposite problem, I don't really give a *kitten* what anyone thinks about me. I wanted to lose weight because I started to wheeze when I went up stairs, and it was becoming a stretch reaching around to wipe my *kitten*. LOL

    Try not to worry about not being attractive, you're lovely, find satisfaction that you can make it up a flight of stairs and wipe your *kitten*. You are doing fine!
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
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    As for body types...
    All any of us can be is our own best, so forget any other standard of beauty but your full potential.
    The path to misery is when we compare ourselves to others.
    Don't do it.
    There is no winning in that game.
    :flowerforyou:

    he speaks the truth i/m guilty of this and not feeling wanted by women, there not nocking on my door. they seem to want someone with cash, muscles,looks and a brain. so i wouldn't say guys are guilty look at the mag out there geared towards young women they breed you must be thin to be happy when it faulse and so unhealthy for the mind
  • hendinerik
    hendinerik Posts: 287 Member
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    The men posting those comments may well be alone themselves... Some men are extremely juvenile as well and have never held a relationship in their life, and turn their feelings outward and project all kinds of weird things on women. Or they think that somehow if they "have" or "own" someone who looks like their idealized image that that will make them happy.

    Do your health for you first and foremost... to live longer, be healthier, feel better... Obviously we all want to feel attractive but there are very attractive people in all sizes, and everyone is at their own pace and also everyone is different in what they find attractive. I had a trainer last year who is a bodybuilder and he said he never understood how people would find a women who was rail thin attractive.

    I am a guy, and sometimes I have gotten very insecure looking at some of the men who were crazy ripped and the women even here on mfp posting to them as though they were the ultimate standard of desirability. But I mainly like to exercise because I feel better and it gives me a sense of accomplishment and control over my life... and it's a great outlet.

    We are all here for various reasons, but bottom line is you deserve to be happy -- it's more than losing weight, "spot reducing" etc.. There will always be the "haters" out there... Just focus on what's right for you, and what will give you the best chance at a long healthy life or whatever you see fit.
  • Medic911ETH
    Medic911ETH Posts: 31 Member
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    Perhaps "most" men are attracted to a woman solely based upon her body. These men aren't who you want in your life, anyway, and you needn't worry about their baseless and emptily ignorant words.

    Other men may overlook your body somewhat because they're attracted to your attitude, your self-confidence: which is largely affected by how you feel about yourself, your sense of self-worth.

    The rare few, the men who actually want to be with you, no matter what you look like, and have no desire to be with anyone else: may not actually care for the shape of your body, but they recognize the "you" within, and your size becomes irrelevant.

    Ignore the ignorant.
  • tomservo
    tomservo Posts: 16
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    If men's opinions of women are putting any kind of pressure on you, then you're asking the wrong men. Try asking some who aren't moronic imbeciles.
  • Christy175
    Christy175 Posts: 60 Member
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    @tomservo, your googly eyes are quite stunning. Plus you have a great point.
  • jazyjen
    jazyjen Posts: 20 Member
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    Good point!
  • naominicolw
    naominicolw Posts: 8
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    I know that people might reply with "this is exactly why you should be losing weight and getting healthy for YOURSELF and no one else" but that logic just doesn't work for me. I have no idea how that works for other people. The only way I can motivate myself to eat less and exercise more is by thinking of how much better I'll look and how much more desirable I'll be to other people. Maybe this is something I should talk about with my therapist, but I refuse to believe that there aren't others out there who share this struggle.

    I totally understand this! I don't think there is anything wrong with using your desire to be found more desirable as motivation. It's what gets me to the gym all the time. You just have to use it as a positive way to get yourself in shape and be careful not to turn it into a way to beat yourself down. :)
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
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    The men posting those comments may well be alone themselves... Some men are extremely juvenile as well and have never held a relationship in their life, and turn their feelings outward and project all kinds of weird things on women. Or they think that somehow if they "have" or "own" someone who looks like their idealized image that that will make them happy.

    Do your health for you first and foremost... to live longer, be healthier, feel better... Obviously we all want to feel attractive but there are very attractive people in all sizes, and everyone is at their own pace and also everyone is different in what they find attractive. I had a trainer last year who is a bodybuilder and he said he never understood how people would find a women who was rail thin attractive.

    I am a guy, and sometimes I have gotten very insecure looking at some of the men who were crazy ripped and the women even here on mfp posting to them as though they were the ultimate standard of desirability. But I mainly like to exercise because I feel better and it gives me a sense of accomplishment and control over my life... and it's a great outlet.

    We are all here for various reasons, but bottom line is you deserve to be happy -- it's more than losing weight, "spot reducing" etc.. There will always be the "haters" out there... Just focus on what's right for you, and what will give you the best chance at a long healthy life or whatever you see fit.

    This post :flowerforyou:
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Sometimes I find pictures of slim celebrities to be motivating and I'll browse articles on the DailyMail or something. It kind of kills me when I get to the bottom and read comments written by men (usually) about their views on women's bodies. For instance... there is an article posted today about how plump people live longer than thin people (supposedly... I don't trust these claims). Some person commented something like "sure, they live longer, but die alone" implying that plump (let alone obese) people are so grotesque and undesirable that they're destined to be alone. People (mostly men) are always making comments like this about overweight people online. They even criticize bodies of women like Jennifer Aniston - a woman with an enviable figure. I just don't get it. I feel like my main goal in life should be getting thinner and fitter so that I am more attractive to people who have to look at me. I feel guilty for neglecting those duties sometimes when I am lazy or I overeat. Is this not how eating disorders develop? It makes me a little nervous.

    I know that people might reply with "this is exactly why you should be losing weight and getting healthy for YOURSELF and no one else" but that logic just doesn't work for me. I have no idea how that works for other people. The only way I can motivate myself to eat less and exercise more is by thinking of how much better I'll look and how much more desirable I'll be to other people. Maybe this is something I should talk about with my therapist, but I refuse to believe that there aren't others out there who share this struggle.
    First of all you need to change your attitude and overall perception of yourself. I'm sorry but with the way I see it, looks like you have major insecurity problems that you need to overcome before anything else. See a person with a healthy attitude won't even care what other people would think about them. So what if some ignorant jerks find you "undesirable"? Does that now make you believe that you're indeed undesirable? Men generally are drawn to confident women and that attitude of yours just shows the opposite. No wonder if men find you that way.

    Whether you lose weight or not but if you continue with that negative attitude on yourself then it doesn't matter if you shrink all the way to a size 00, you'll still end up lonely. Losing weight alone won't change everything.
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
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    I can almost tell you 99% sure, men don't like women who are insecure.

    Unless its last call :)
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
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    I wish there was an easy answer, but the best I can come up with is don't worry about what others think. You are right it's a slippery slope and you need to back away from the edge quickly. None of us no matter beauty queen, male cover model, plain Jane or Plain John or whatever the latest airbrushed media forced type we are supposed to desire is perfect. We all suffer from being human and the most important thing you can do for yourself is search for your happiness and the body will follow both in health and physical beauty. A confident, happy, funny, caring, smart & spiritual person is sexy and desirable. Be the best you can be for yourself and anyone who doesn't think that's enough is not wortth your time or energy. God made you to be you, don't let man or woman judge you by their standard, they are imperfect so why worry about their opnion? Good luck and there are a lot of good people out there.
  • naominicolw
    naominicolw Posts: 8
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    .
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    I can almost tell you 99% sure, men don't like women who are insecure.
    Same with women whether to a male partner or a female friend. No one likes to be around insecure people. It doesn't matter how good looking and fit they are but if they have that attitude then no amount of charm will make them desirable. Insecurity is totally unattractive to anyone.
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
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    The men posting those comments may well be alone themselves... Some men are extremely juvenile as well and have never held a relationship in their life, and turn their feelings outward and project all kinds of weird things on women. Or they think that somehow if they "have" or "own" someone who looks like their idealized image that that will make them happy.

    Do your health for you first and foremost... to live longer, be healthier, feel better... Obviously we all want to feel attractive but there are very attractive people in all sizes, and everyone is at their own pace and also everyone is different in what they find attractive. I had a trainer last year who is a bodybuilder and he said he never understood how people would find a women who was rail thin attractive.

    I am a guy, and sometimes I have gotten very insecure looking at some of the men who were crazy ripped and the women even here on mfp posting to them as though they were the ultimate standard of desirability. But I mainly like to exercise because I feel better and it gives me a sense of accomplishment and control over my life... and it's a great outlet.

    We are all here for various reasons, but bottom line is you deserve to be happy -- it's more than losing weight, "spot reducing" etc.. There will always be the "haters" out there... Just focus on what's right for you, and what will give you the best chance at a long healthy life or whatever you see fit.

    This post :flowerforyou:

    Agreed. One of the other reasons I can think of as to why one might not use appearance to stay motivated to be fit is when one actually has a health issue. When your health is at risk, you might be surprised how that becomes the focal point and looks don't take the front seat anymore.

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