Nervous about going to the gym...

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  • joleciamichelle
    joleciamichelle Posts: 139 Member
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    The first time I went to a gym I was 17 and ~330lbs. Most people were doing their own thing but a lot of people were very kind and even encouraging. Try out a gym before you join if you can, the atmosphere and people definitely matter. I can't promise you won't encounter any dummies but just know that you're doing what's best for you and they can suck it! That feeling you will have when you are stronger and leaner, will be more than enough to shrug off any rudeness you may encounter (but hopefully you won't!).
  • tameko2
    tameko2 Posts: 31,634 Member
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    If you do run into people that are judging you, let them judge. For every person that you think is judging you, there are many others thinking this: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

    ^^ I think this is the most common thing really, when I see someone very overweight go to the gym, I am actually really excited for them.

    But it does sound like going with your friends is part of the anxiety, and honestly for me I do best if I go alone. I don't feel pressured to do any particular exercises or amounts and I don't end up waiting around for people or making them wait around for me (or worse, skipping what I want to do because they are waiting). Its very relaxing to just put on your music, follow your training program, and then go home without having to worry about anyone else.

    The only time friends help is if you need the encouragement to actually GO to the gym.
  • nturner612
    nturner612 Posts: 710 Member
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    eveyone that goes to the gym (except for goddesses) are tehre because they are either overweight or are not comfortable with the weight that they are at. So with that being said they are not going to judge you. and even if for whatever reason someone might and i say MIGHT try to judge you... keep ur headphones on and dont forget what YOU are there for. you are young now, and dont realizee that in real life, it really does not matter what anyone else thinks. Best of luck to u !!!! :)
  • gauchogirl
    gauchogirl Posts: 467 Member
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    I know what you're saying, they may or may not be judging you (probably not), but YOU FEEL LIKE THEY ARE, so it's the same as if they are, in your opinion. It's going to be OK, pretend you are a race horse with BLINDERS on. You can only see one direction, FORWARD, and ignore the rest. I know it's easy to say, but with a little practice you can do it. Focus on the direction you are moving only, remembering that YOU are the only one that can prove them wrong (assuming you are thinking they are judging you about not being able to do it.) You prove them wrong by going, day after day, putting in honest effort and making progress. Repeat it to yourself when you are having a hard time. "I am focusing on moving forward. I am only accountable to myself. I make progress every day." Repeat as necessary.
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,148 Member
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    My experience in gyms is people pretty much don't notice you. They are too busy working out. Most who may notice you, would be happy to see you are doing something to get healthy. Are there a small number of jerks? Sure, but that is try anywhere.
  • lizzynewm
    lizzynewm Posts: 199 Member
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    it's not stupid to feel self conscious about this kind of thing - as a matter of fact, remember this feeling! because once you start going to the gym and working out like a beast and gaining confidence, you're gonna feel so silly that you were ever nervous, and so proud of yourself for overcoming it.

    i remember being at 225-ish pounds and totally out of shape, i got a gym membership with my best guy friend, who i was totally infatuated with no less :noway: so needless to say, i definitely know that feeling of self-consciousness! but then i realized that if you're at the gym, no matter what skill level you're at or how in shape you are, if you're working your *kitten* off, the only thing anybody is going to feel about you is impressed. when i'm at the gym and see someone overweight (or not overweight!) working out crazily like a boss with sweat dripping out of every pore, i feel so proud and happy for them. if anyone feels differently, then *kitten* 'em. just give it your all and hold your head high and you'll feel all the more accomplished for it! :smile:
  • stephdeeable
    stephdeeable Posts: 1,407 Member
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    If you do run into people that are judging you, let them judge. For every person that you think is judging you, there are many others thinking this: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html

    I just read that and am not ashamed to admit I teared up a little.

    I'm joining the gym today, been working on losing weight for a few months but I'm still extremely intimidated of the gym. Time to take the plunge.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    Personally, when I see an heavy person at the gym, I only think that I respect them for making this effort and I hope they're successful.
  • emorym
    emorym Posts: 344
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    LISTEN TO ME
    first of all
    NO ONE IS GOING TO JUDGE YOU! I went to gyms when I was 300lbs. Trst me when I say everyone is worried about their own self. I have gone to gyms at all sizes. No one will judge!!!! DO not let that stop you from being fit. You deserve to be there like anyone else.
    If anyone did judge you, which I doubt they would, assume they are no one who is worthy of your attention anyway..

    BUT SERIOUSLY- why would anyone judge you?: Do you go to a gym and sit around and judge others? No- you go to get YOURSELF in shape!

    Great answer!!! Go for yourself and don't worry what others are thinking.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
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    Just avoid the threads on MFP that talk about how the OP is annoyed with certain people at the gym for incorrect form or how the person they're judging but "not judging" isn't working as hard as the OP thinks they should be....(it will just make you more self conscience)


    On a side note: I had the same fears but its not as bad once you're there...and yes, it gets better :)

    Good luck ma
  • Smorsb
    Smorsb Posts: 104 Member
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    No one at the gym cares what anyone looks like. Everyone at the gym is there for the same reason, either to lose weight or stay in shape.
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
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    keep in mind you have already beat every other person who won't even try

    Great job that you accomplished some goals for yourself in the gym... but the above attitude sucks, quite frankly, and is at the root of the problem that the OP has brought up here... judgment of others.

    If I also took this one statement out of context and ignored the rest I would agree with you. Thankfully I didn't, nor did others who also replied
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
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    I have just stared the 5x5 lifting program which has you start with and empty olympic bar (45lbs) and then add 5lbs every workout. I am sure it looks very funny to see a guy my size doing squats with 2-2.5lb weights on the bar. If other dudes wanna judge...whatever.

    I'm starting up the SL5x5 soon, and my biggest fear is dropping the bar on my face when I attempt overhead presses. Also afraid that I'll have bad form and hurt myself. Luckily I'm a girl, so I'm allowed to look week with an empty bar or tiny weights (fractionals shipped today!).

    But I agree, I think a lot of people won't even be looking at you. However, your bigger fear sounds like it might be that you can't keep up with your friends. I know a lot of people use a workout buddy to motivate them, but personally, I can get depressed when I can't do something they can't (my personal workout buddy is very encouraging even when she does something much better than me). Don't be afraid of what you don't know. You are your own worst enemy in that situation. I feel bad, but my friend always is excited and encouraging. I took a step back from the gym for a month and worked out at my house. I'm headed back to the gym this month, and I'm doing my own thing (mostly because I want to lift heavy and she's a cardio bunny). Find what works for you whether it's with your friends or not. No one else matters.
  • WrenStory
    WrenStory Posts: 103
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    keep in mind you have already beat every other person who won't even try

    Great job that you accomplished some goals for yourself in the gym... but the above attitude sucks, quite frankly, and is at the root of the problem that the OP has brought up here... judgment of others.

    If I also took this one statement out of context and ignored the rest I would agree with you. Thankfully I didn't, nor did others who also replied

    I stand by what I said... that's the exact attitude the OP was concerned about. Cloak it in whatever psycho babble positive talk that you must... comparing yourself to others who don't have the guts to do what you did doesn't make you seem any better or glorify your own actions.
  • suzyroon
    suzyroon Posts: 4 Member
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    It took me a year to pluck up the courage and the first class i went to was SPIN!!!! everyone around me knowing what they were doing and slimmer than me and comfortable in their skin!!!!!!! NOT FUN........

    I told myself it was too hard BLAH BLAH BLAH - even ate chocolate ........ ETC ETC!!!! BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I WENT BACK!!!!!! Same time week later really scared.......

    I COULD DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    The first week i couldnt even stand up on the bike, i was totally shot after 10 mins!! THE SECOND I KNEW WHAT TO EXPECT AND I COULD STAND UP FOR MOST OF THE EXCERCISES AND FELT TOTALLY GREAT!!!!!!!

    NEXT DAY - i did a gym session and i was just fine!

    GO FOR IT!!!! DO NOT BE AFRAID -!!!!
  • WhoTheHellIsBen
    WhoTheHellIsBen Posts: 1,238 Member
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    keep in mind you have already beat every other person who won't even try

    Great job that you accomplished some goals for yourself in the gym... but the above attitude sucks, quite frankly, and is at the root of the problem that the OP has brought up here... judgment of others.

    If I also took this one statement out of context and ignored the rest I would agree with you. Thankfully I didn't, nor did others who also replied

    I stand by what I said... that's the exact attitude the OP was concerned about. Cloak it in whatever psycho babble positive talk that you must... comparing yourself to others who don't have the guts to do what you did doesn't make you seem any better or glorify your own actions.


    ummmmmmmmmmm what?!?! Guts has nothing to do with trying, this isn't running into a war zone. If you want to say the drive to try and make an effort is the exact same as sitting around and not even bothering than I believe you may be the one rambling the psycho babble. She is making that effort and making an effort to meet some new goals, she is in fact better than the person sitting on the couch scoffing at the idea of ever trying to better themselves. Being that this was meant to motivate and not to turn into a crazy argument thread please direct your next dozen or so witty comebacks towards your dozen or so cats, I have signed off from your nonsense.
  • amcmullan
    amcmullan Posts: 148 Member
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    I use the other people around as motivation...Like Ill show them how long I can last on this eliptical!! lol You will get used to it and will be addicted!! Do it for you eff everyone else! If someone judges you for trying to be healthier and get in shape then they are a douche and they suck and their opinion doesnt even matter! :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    keep in mind you have already beat every other person who won't even try

    Great job that you accomplished some goals for yourself in the gym... but the above attitude sucks, quite frankly, and is at the root of the problem that the OP has brought up here... judgment of others.

    If I also took this one statement out of context and ignored the rest I would agree with you. Thankfully I didn't, nor did others who also replied

    I stand by what I said... that's the exact attitude the OP was concerned about. Cloak it in whatever psycho babble positive talk that you must... comparing yourself to others who don't have the guts to do what you did doesn't make you seem any better or glorify your own actions.

    OP....best of luck. Some people can be so bitter...and I'm all for giving the truth straight but....yeah...that Wren lady whatever is just plain negative...

    So many people complain about NOT being able to change themselves, their lives suck, I am so unattractive..etc etc etc....

    but you decided to do something about your life. To change and to take on challenges that are scary. I get that completely. You aren't someone that is sitting around complaining and whining..you are are someone who is taking a step to actually do something about what you are unhappy about. You are actually trying to change by changing your attitude and conquering your self-consciousness. Kudos to you.

    and THAT is how you are better. Because you are taking action rather than wallowing in self pity and negativity.


    ETA: And if what I say is positive psycho-babble..I'll stick with it. I spent too many years being negative and going nowhere. I prefer to look forward now and in a positive way. I'm not saying I'll sugar coat my answers or the truth..not at all..but I'm not going to give advice or rain on someone's efforts because I am taking things way too literal.
  • WrenStory
    WrenStory Posts: 103
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    ummmmmmmmmmm what?!?! Guts has nothing to do with trying, this isn't running into a war zone. If you want to say the drive to try and make an effort is the exact same as sitting around and not even bothering than I believe you may be the one rambling the psycho babble. She is making that effort and making an effort to meet some new goals, she is in fact better than the person sitting on the couch scoffing at the idea of ever trying to better themselves. Being that this was meant to motivate and not to turn into a crazy argument thread please direct your next dozen or so witty comebacks towards your dozen or so cats, I have signed off from your nonsense.

    Calling it like I see it... and your reasoning was a bit ironic given that you were attempting to motivate the OP.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    ummmmmmmmmmm what?!?! Guts has nothing to do with trying, this isn't running into a war zone. If you want to say the drive to try and make an effort is the exact same as sitting around and not even bothering than I believe you may be the one rambling the psycho babble. She is making that effort and making an effort to meet some new goals, she is in fact better than the person sitting on the couch scoffing at the idea of ever trying to better themselves. Being that this was meant to motivate and not to turn into a crazy argument thread please direct your next dozen or so witty comebacks towards your dozen or so cats, I have signed off from your nonsense.

    Calling it like I see it... and your motivations were ironic given that you were attempting to motivate the OP.

    I don't see where it is wrong. As I said in my own post, I think that people who actually take responsibility for their choices and take action to change their lives are better than those that do nothing but whine about how they can't change for the better.

    In my opinion, that does make someone the better person. Someone who is willing to brave the unknown and go for their goals. Someone who positively tries to better themselves rather than the person who just tries to bring others down with them because they are too lazy, too unmotivated, or just not committed to change.

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