"Fluffy" Ladies: Does your man...

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  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    I don't understand how you could manage to stay hidden from his sight. It sounds like a lot of work.

    Living in the same house, we see each other getting into or out of the shower, changing clothes, during sex, on the toilet, etc. We are well aware of each others zits, farts, ear hair, nose hair, chin hair, flab, blubber, bad breath, pit stains, skid marks, body odor, and snot. The only thing I won't let him do is watch me change a tampon (and he doesn't really want to see that anyway!!).
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
    It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.

    Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm

    What does that have to do with anything? lol Weve been together 8 and been married 4. I'm not worried about forever right now (:

    Your ability to predict what your partner wants/ needs/ desires/ thinks about you, and his ability to see you and form opinions about one another and yourself (body image), is woefully underdeveloped. When you are older, you'll likely look back and think of decisions you made at this age related to your husband and other relationships as less than flawless. This question that you posed seems like one of those things that one could put in this category. Unfortunately, it's more challenging to notice this in the moment. Why is that? Because your frontal lobe isn't fully developed until you're about 25 years old. Do I know you personally? No. Could you be an outlier, or an exception to the rule? Sure. I'm just offering my opinion, which you solicited on an open, public forum in the hopes of giving you something to think about that could help you.
    I'm 36, the mother of an 18-year-old, far from fat but far from perfect and I know the man I've been with for the last eight years loves my body just the way it is, but I'm still incredibly self-conscious about it because I am not happy with it.

    What you are saying is completely irrelevant to the subject. I think maybe your frontal lobe has some maturing to do.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    Not sure what is so surprising about people revealing that they feel insecure, considering a lot of people are here trying to lose weight and look better, so obviously they are not satisfied with where they are.

    That being said, own your body and know that every minute of every hour you invest in it, you're making yourself that much sexier. You won't just magically love yourself at a certain weight, so I recommend practicing now. Especially don't hide from the man who loves you. He's there for a reason.
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    My story:

    I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).

    We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.

    Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.


    I love you. That was lovely.

    My husband and I have been together for 23 years also. Our favorite thing to talk about is getting old together.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I am currently between men, but I have never hidden myself from anyone I was sleeping with.
  • MadameLAL
    MadameLAL Posts: 108
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    For a robust, fully vital partner, I would say 'get naked.' For a man who has problems responding to you sexually, take care because he may externalize the reason for his lack of response.
  • NaomiJFoster
    NaomiJFoster Posts: 1,450 Member
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    My husband and I have been together for 23 years. We've both gained weight over time, it happens. We're both trying to get healthier, that happens too. Neither of us is 'walk around the house naked' types of people. But nudity happens and we don't hide it. Now, during intimate moments, the parts of my body that he is most attracted to are the parts that I am the most horrified by! He loves my belly! My belly that looks like a Buddha-belly, my belly that hangs down and flops over, my belly that wiggles and jiggles, my belly that I think is my absolute worst body-part...that's the thing he can't keep his hands (etc) off of. Not only does he not care that I have a huge gut, he actually likes it! I don't understand it, but hey I'll go along with it!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    Of course he does. He'd be pretty grumpy if he didn't see me naked as often as possible. He loves me no matter what. Most likely your issues are your own, and not his. (If not you've got bigger problems than the nakedness.) When I got to my highest weight I was very insecure, and avoided sex. All's it did was created unnecessary stress on the both of us. As soon as I pulled my head out of my *kitten*, I realized all the issues I thought "we" were having, were all my own.
  • KrazyAsianNic
    KrazyAsianNic Posts: 1,227 Member
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    I am personally very insecure with my body. 90% of the time I feel like I'm not even in my own body. However, when I'm with my boyfriend (of 7 years), naked or clothed, I couldn't feel anymore perfect.
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
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    I am currently between men, but I have never hidden myself from anyone I was sleeping with.

    same..
  • rgohm
    rgohm Posts: 294 Member
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    My story:

    I've been married for 23 years. My wife has been though all sorts of physical problems. Auto accident. Difficult pregnancy with twins. Surgeries, literally from head to toe. Lumbar and cervical fusion. Going from age 24 to 47. All these things radically changed her body. She went from being 5'10"/155lbs to 5'8" and 240lbs. Stretch marks. Scars. TMJ problems so she can't open her mouth much (figure out why that's important to me).

    We're working on losing weight, not only for our health, but for each other. She made a difficult and brave decision to have lap band surgery, another saga in itself...and here I am at MFP.

    Throughout it all, I love her. She's my wife. We arrived here together. Our sex life is amazing, we really enjoy each other. We've *never* hidden our bodies in the dark (and yes, I've been as much as 40 pounds heavier than my wedding weight myself). We're going to be old, wrinkly and saggy together, God willing. As we've aged and had our problems, we've adapted, our lovemaking is different than when we were younger, but no less fulfilling. We're not going to be more attractive in the future, and we're the only partners we've got. We may not be attractive to anyone else in the world, and it doesn't matter. It's called love.

    Love this^^ :drinker:

    My husband and I got married at 16 and 18. This March it will be 19 yrs and we still love each other. I hate being naked around him because I was 145 lbs at 5'6" when we met I am now 268 lbs and I hate the way I look, however, he never makes me feel bad about it and for some odd reason he still likes to see me naked, I call him a sicko because of it, but in reality his love for ME shows through and it makes me fall in love with him all over again.
  • Pepper2185
    Pepper2185 Posts: 994 Member
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    As my husband says ... Men are visual creatures.

    Show him the goods :happy:
  • sweatybettyboop
    sweatybettyboop Posts: 22 Member
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    Heck yeah, in all of my glory. He loves me, fluffy and all. I am not offended by the term fluffy, nor I am offended by the term fat, obese or otherwise. It merely is the shell to my soul. My soul right now just happens to curvy, round, luscious & warm for my DH to cuddle and nuzzle with & in. Embrace who you are at the moment & love your body where you are at. Not when. Confidence goes a long way, that is for sure.
  • changingforthegood
    changingforthegood Posts: 127
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    Ya, but doesnt mean i am proud of what i look like standing up naked with the lights on. i would reather be clothed, and lights off lol
  • ThaRealNicki
    ThaRealNicki Posts: 328 Member
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    everyday haha
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    Life is too short to hide in the shadows.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    365lbs or heavier and has seen it all!!! Best time was having a litle fun out on the boat in the middlle of the lake completely naked....MMMMM sunshine nookie is the best.
  • MattTheWaterRat
    MattTheWaterRat Posts: 167 Member
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    Frontal lobes aren't fully formed in humans until around 25 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frontal_lobe).
    It's a pretty decent biological reason why one shouldn't make decisions about whom they think they should be partnered with forever before that age.

    Check out the correlation between age of marriage and divorce rates. See, e.g.: http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats38.htm

    What does this have to do with anything? My husband and I started dating at 15, we married at 21, and are currently 29, happily married, 1 child and have been told we still act like newly weds...

    The divorce statistics are describing divorces from the year 1990. Not really inferential there.
  • ifoundroadkill
    ifoundroadkill Posts: 96 Member
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    My husband hasn't seen me naked in the light since my boys were born either, don't let anyone on here judge ya. I know just how you feel. Especially since when my hubby and I started dating he swore he would never date a girl bigger then him and I am more like two of him now
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    My husband sees me standing up (or dancing) naked in the day light all the time. He also likes the lights on during intimate times. I've had 2 kids.

    I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sure you feel it more strongly than anything he would think. But, it's ok to feel the way you do. And I'm sure he respects you for having children. I can understand feeling less confident. That's why I work at my fitness because I am hard on myself that way.

    Edit: Oh, no, I'm sorry. I just realized this was addressed to women that are wanting to lose weight. I probably should not have responded.

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