Has anyone else dealt with the unsupportive husband/wife?

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  • martintanz
    martintanz Posts: 280
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    I was that unsupportive spouse last year. This year, I am down over 30 lbs, and my wife is the one baking holiday cookies, making popcorn when we watch movies, and eating God knows what when I am not looking.

    Just because you are married doesn't mean you are joined at the hip. Sometimes your motivation may be high while his may be low. Just stick to your program.
  • ColleenHollis
    ColleenHollis Posts: 53
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    If your husband wants to play that game I have a game you can play too.

    Whatever offending food choice it is, take a serving, hell take two servings, you deserve it, portion it out on a plate, lick your lips and then throw it in the trash, it's your food, you can do what you want with it and they will stop playing that game fairly quickly.


    Ha Ha! That'll get the message through. You might want to warn him first though. "Listen, you know how hard I've been working at this but if you insist on tempting me here is what I will do in response...just letting you know."
  • DuhhMuffin
    DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
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    My boyfriend isn't exactly "unsupportive" but he is rather indifferent. When I ask him if I look any different (just started talking progress pics) he just says "I dunno." When he says "yes" he refuses to say how I look different.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    Focus on your own diet and what you are eating. Oh, and learn to say no. You are the one trying to change and if you want it bad enough you will. And if you stick with it, he may follow.
  • Pamwells
    Pamwells Posts: 8
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    All I can say is you are telling my story. We can do it for ourselfs and become stronger in the end. Don't give up. You are worth it!!!
  • Danni3ll3
    Danni3ll3 Posts: 365 Member
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    If your husband wants to play that game I have a game you can play too.

    Whatever offending food choice it is, take a serving, hell take two servings, you deserve it, portion it out on a plate, lick your lips and then throw it in the trash, it's your food, you can do what you want with it and they will stop playing that game fairly quickly.

    Ohhhh, I LIKE this idea!!!!
  • nosillanosilla
    nosillanosilla Posts: 42
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    My fiance was kind of like this in the beginning. I just kept going and now he's enjoying the results of my hard work so he's more supportive :)
  • Brown_Eyed_Beauty
    Brown_Eyed_Beauty Posts: 109 Member
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    Oh, my husband does this as well... he often says he wants to be healthy and do what it takes, but then when I offer to help or suggest we go to the gym together, etc. he either says no, or does it and hates it.

    Guess what, though? We're two individual people. And does it mean he's not supportive of me and my goals? No, in fact, he is very supportive. Do I tell him he's lazy and worthless and unsupportive because he won't do it with me? Heck no. How many times did I have friends or relatives who asked me to get on board with them after complaining about it, and I still never did?

    You have to realize a couple of things:

    1) You have to do this for YOU. Not for somebody else. The same way he has to decide to do it for himself, and not for you, if he's going to do it.

    2) Your husband isn't always going to be on board with or have the same goals or hobbies as you, and vice versa. Be your own person, get some girl friends.

    3) You're just going to make it worse for both of you if you harp on this and don't just let it go.

    4) If what you're really upset about is that you'd like to spend more time with him or have something you both can get into together, and it is NOT fitness and/or health..... well, find something else to do together. Relationships take work, trial and error... and you're part of the equation.

    Thank you. Makes perfect sense.
  • xxvogue
    xxvogue Posts: 172 Member
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    This isn't a matter of him simply not wanting to join the OP, this is downright mean. Period.

    There's a difference between "being supportive" but separate, and being downright unsupportive.

    You need to do you own thing OP, and no worry about what he says, but I'd certainly be angry if my significant other did this to me and I'd make that very clear. You can buy the sweets, but you wave them in my face? Unacceptable.

    I'd make it very clear that it's not okay (in whatever way you feel is best), but if things didn't shape up, I'd be walking away.

    But that's just my two (rather angry) cents.
  • Lisamb757
    Lisamb757 Posts: 35 Member
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    My husband is the same as the OPs husband.

    He will bring me home chips, candy, fast food, and I have said no I do not want that etc. gets angry when I go to the gym, accuses me of things when I go actually! He gets mad when we go grocery shopping and i keep my food separate from his.

    Eats junk, sits on his *kitten* all day and complains his pants don't fit lol.

    I try to not let it get to me, but really the person I'm supposed to "be with the rest of my life" should probably not be so judging.

    :explode:
  • clareBrewster80
    clareBrewster80 Posts: 42 Member
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    My partner is very supportive, he bought me a new gym kit and everything, but as a skinny person who has spent his life with the opersite problem (putting on weight and keeping it on) he ha no idea about how hard it is to lose the weight and what a diet consists of. He will often bring home a bottle of wine or a couple of candy bars and we need to have healthy but highly calorific food in the house for him and my daughter to keep the weight on!.. I to be an overweight person in a skinny house is very infair. DIeting was so much simpler when I was young, free and single! Not that I would give up my family for anything.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Have you flat-out told him: cut it out!

    You have to be very direct with men. They aren't good with hints.

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