My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

Every now and then, we all say things thats not good, however, we all know that once said, its done, and you can never take it back. With that being said I just want to encourage you to not let this destroy your beauty on the outside and well as in. You are a beauiful person you have to be ok with you, then have an honest conversation with your husband about what he said, this next part is easier said than done, forgive and move on. You need to do whats in your power to gain strength from this and let it be a motivator for you to excel in whatever it is you want to do.
Blessings Carla

I would say it is time to have a heart to heart with him. Sit down and tell him how it made you feel when he spoke that way. Is this a new development or has he always calle names when a fight occurs? I'm not saying divorce him because obviously couple will fight and that shouldn't be your first solution to the problem but you definitly need to speak to him about it.

Either way I agree with the other posters. You can't lose weight for someone else. I'm not saying it isn't possible because it is- but you won't get the same satisfaction that you would otherwise and the odd's of you being able to maintain may be lower. You can do it! And for yourself, not anyone else. :happy:

28 or 8?

Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.

Ah yes the armchair psychoanalysis begins. We do not know what was said by her, what caused the fight, etc., but clearly he is "abusive & manipulative". And of course it has nothing to do with weight loss, because nothing men say ever have to do with what we say, right? Men should accept their wives no matter what the wives do to their bodies, right? And the women should manipulate and push their husbands to lose weight, right? There's two sides to every coin but the advice on here to women by other women about men, never fails to amaze me.

Two words: Grow Up. If the OP is hurt then she needs to talk to her husband about it. The marriage is between the two of them. Period. If that doesn't work then she should seek counseling where both of them can be heard and they can work through their issues. Otherwise, break up and move on.

Actually, calling your spouse names is verbal and emotional abuse, and it is them being manipulative. Doesn't matter if they are a man or a woman. No, we don't know if she called him names back, but she asked for our thoughts based on the information she gave us.

And there are better ways to tell your wife you are unhappy with her weight and appearance that are not abusive.

My husband and I have been in several arguments over the past 10 years, and NOT ONCE has the thought ever crossed my mind to insult him, nor has he ever insulted me. I have had hurtful things said about me by other people in past relationships, and let me tell you, those words still haunt me to this day. Words cannot be taken back, and you will always remember what he said to you, and it will never be the same between you and him. It's disgusting and nobody should put up with insults, especially by their spouse, who is supposed to love you, and be supportive. I agree with a previous poster that you may want to reevaluate the relationship you are in. If he treats you that way, he will probably treat your children the same eventually. As far as losing weight, you will never succeed until you decide to do it for yourself, and yourself ONLY! You can use his words as fuel for your fire, but make sure you are doing it for yourself. He definitely does not deserve you, skinny or not.

Let me explain, children are from a previous marriage and my "new" 4 month husband is with us now. I haven't updated my profile in a while.

Ah, I see. Maybe this is how he really is? Now that he's 'got' you he thinks it's safe to show his behind. I would not suggest divorce at this point, but you MUST nip this in the bud now. Verbal abuse is a terrible thing to endure...if he's willing to call you this now it's only going to get worse unless he knows up front you will not tolerate it.

I think everyone has probably said things they don't mean but that doesn't make it o.k. for any of us. My Ex used to say the nastiest stuff to me when she was mad. No, I'm not perfect and treated her badly at times but she always took things to a much higher (and more personal) level. There are certain things you can't take back or just apologize for especially if you keep saying them over and over again. Ya'll need to establish some guidelines for arguing or it's not going to work.

Also super well said. There are lots of types of abuse and this is one of them!!!!
A (a therapist - not your therapist but a therapist nonetheless!!)

My ex-husband used to call me a b!tch, tell me how awful I was...etc. After 10 years of that, I believed him.

If you allow him to talk to you like that without addressing it with him, you will believe it in yourself. Speak to him about what he said, how you feel about it and how it has affected you.

Don't allow him to talk to you that way again. This comes from over 12 years of trying to prove to myself that I am not a horrible person.

Starving yourself is not a good thing to do. Standing up for yourself is

This. I believed every bully in HS and now am a lot heavier than when I was in HS. I used to think I was horribly fat than and would kill for my HS weight now. He is being a bully. Get to marriage counseling. This is not one of those "we can compromise" behaviors. Either he stops or you leave. Abuse can be emotional not just physical.

28 or 8?

Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.

I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.

^this^ I was going to put that I could not comment anything more to this then... "You don't talk to anyone this way let alone your significant other....."

He needs to learn to control his tongue. Proverbs has a lot to say about the dangers of the tongue. In my case, my husband never called me fat, but I could see him "thinking" it. Of course, I was thinking it about myself, too. I lost the weight, and we're both happy. Marriage can be tough. I wish you well. If you're going to fast, I suggest you use it as a time to pray.