Everyone here is so mean

MFP - the hungriest forum on the Internet.

"I'm not mean, you're just a sissy"

Stop making me laugh!

AND STOP SHOUTING

Grrrrr!!!

Hello new years resolvers of 2013.

You might notice that people here seem maybe mean sometimes, or snarky, or say things that make you sad.
Before you decide that these people are trying to make you sad, please consider that they may be trying to help you:

"TRY HARDER" is more motivating than "take it easy"
"YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT" is more motivating than "you already look great"
"STOP WHINING" is more more motivating than "there there, bubula, cry on my shoulder"
"GET STARTED NOW" is more motivating than "spend a week coming up with a plan and see if you lose weight planning."

The journey of 1,000 miles starts with but a single step . . . in the right direction . . . and you'll get there faster if you run.

NAW THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE GET DELETED FROM MY FRIENDS LIST FOR BEING NEGATIVE. i
'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THNKS THAT WAY!! I DO A HELL OF ALOT BETTER WITHOUT NEGATIVITY
[/quote

Stop Shouting - you are so MEAN!!!

I've only been here about a month and I have to say, I am a little leery of being honest with people (or making suggestions). I really don't know my "friends' at all here, and we try to encourage each other, but I don't feel I know them well enough to offer advice other than "Nice burn" or "Great effort". I know it seems lame, but that's pretty much the only kind of comments I see people giving/getting.

If you aren't mean then you aren't as awesome as the people on my Fl.. just saying.

I agree 100% with the original poster and have to point out that I have noticed a certain mathematical correlation:

legitimate question/comment = legitimate(ish) response (unless someone is trolling or attempting to be funny)

Otherwise it seems to be on an axis, the more ridiculous or whiny the post, the more sarcastic and snarky ("mean") the responses.



I think if I get too many snarky responses to my post I need to re-evaluate where I fell on the y axis

I have been told on numerous occasions I have no heart. So I tend to be known for my meanness. With some people the meaner I am the more they keep coming back. Brutal honesty tends to be my motto. It's cliche, but if you want to buy a dress, and the one you think you like makes you look fat... do you really want me to tell you its gorgeous, or do you want me to help you find the one that drops 10 lbs off you instantly, and actually does make you look gorgeous? This is not mean.

If you make a mistake I'll call you out, but if you've been wronged I'll call them out. Nasty is not productive, and putting them on the defense will only hurt the issue. Cursing is unnecessary and name-calling is cruel. Telling someone they won't loose weight sitting on the couch eating junk food is true. Calling them fat & lazy is mean.

It's true; there are a few meanies around here. I had an account from Sept to Nov but deleted it when somebody hurt my feelings (wah; boo-hoo). Then I started gaining weight and opened a n ew account. I feel rather foolish for letting one ill-chosen remark get me down. The poster may not have even meant it the way I took it.

My advice: take advantage of all the help and support you can get and let the rest evaporate. Chances are that the "mean" poster immediately forgot what he or she said, and you might as well do the same.

Same thing happened to me. I deleted when I got attacked on here. I do find this place to be rather "immature" compared to other weight loss/body building/health sites I've participated in. I have asked questions and tried to help on here and I have been attacked or worse they say really "foolish and childish things" which make no sense, just to be "funny". I honestly think it is a younger crowd here. I am in my upper forties and probably need to find a group closer to my age. I know when I was in my twenties my body was so different and responded so differently to things than now. It's a whole new world now with my body and it's confusing and frustrating. Such as, you can eat and drink stuff in your twenties and still lose weight, look great, feel great, survive on little sleep, with no affects. And then one day all that crap gets to its maxed out level in your body and you're loaded with toxins and bloat and health issues and you can't do any of the stuff you did when you were younger. As much as the younger crowd wants to help, they can't TRULY "get it" bc they aren't there yet. Been there and done that. It's so frustrating to eat the healthiest you ever have in your life, get more sleep than you ever have in your life, workout better, more intense and with the best of the best more than you ever have in your life and not see results. And then there is trying to fix the junk you did to yourself when younger (bc you got away with it when younger). Not to mention your metabolism slows down, you are losing muscle. Still, I can deal with some of the, "tough love" comments but not the "stupid comments" which are hurtful and pointless. The other day I posted about something I thought was helpful and some guy told me to "go eat a donut". Really? Why?

Only time I ever got called mean here was when a woman "pal" claimed to have lost 14 lbs in 5 days eating nothing but 300 calories a day of buscuits and tea. I told her (by a private message mind you, not in a public post) that she was either an anorexic in serious need of professional help or she was full of crap and what she was claiming was a game to get attention and was disrespectful to all the hard-working folks here who have real food and weight issues they are trying to overcome. She called me mean and unfriended me. If that was mean, so be it.
Newbie advice: This is a life changing decision. Do it with all your heart and dedication and you'll get the respect and attention you want. If you whine and complain, expect to be called to task for it.

BTW: I'm accepting serious friends, new or not.

I think it just depends on each individual.
I would never be mean & I hope I never post something that someone THINKS is mean.