My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

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  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    I am cleansing/detoxing today is my first day. You will lose a pound of fat a day with the Master Cleanse. It has never failed me and if you get on Youtube you will see countless testimonials and support/advice. You can read the book free online. If you want the link, email me. I can do this with you and support you if you wish. I am an experienced cleanser.

    Seriously? Do you have a Medical Degree from Google University or what? that is such utter tripe...you do not lose a pound of fat...sheez. how gullable.

    haha. Agreed. Unless "fat" is a euphamism for poo, retained water, and farts!
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    He was wrong, but 50 pounds is nothing to ignore. Have you ever discussed weight gain with him before?
  • gokmb
    gokmb Posts: 1 Member
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    Quick question... if you dumped him, how much weight would that mean you lost? Sorry for being glib about what is obvioulsy a painful subject - I was shocked by your post.

    Honestly don't know how I would handle that as your husband should be supporting your quest for health and wellness. Not shredding your self-esteem so you don't want to eat. "Detoxing" or starving yourself is NOT the answer - maybe there are more aspects to wellness that could be helpful, like finding a real support system and someone to talk to about your relationship. His youth is not the issue, perhaps his maturity is....

    I am so sorry for what you went through - stay the strong, beautiful, talent, capable woman you are.
  • forest0spirit555
    forest0spirit555 Posts: 164 Member
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    I'm sorry for the hurt he has caused you. That isn't fair at all.
  • Pamcakes70
    Pamcakes70 Posts: 7
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    Sounds like he is insecure himself and in turn wants you to feel same way. Thats the way it was in my case. My EX husband wanted me to feel bad and insecure that why it insured that I would never leave him. Well it worked for 22 years then I had enough.
    I grew some balls and got out.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for everyone to see however I am so hurt by this I don’t know how to handle it all. We got into an argument and it escalated fast where he told me to "waddle your fat @zz in the bedroom" and "You're so fat how can you see your feet?" and a few other hurtful things.:brokenheart: (I have gained 40lbs since him and I met.) I know he said this out of anger and we all say things that hurt, (I'm no saint) but it has completely changed me over night.

    I haven't eaten anything in over 24 hours but it's okay because I have decided to fast and detox my body. :drinker: Anyone experience this with positive results?

    Anyhow, my self-esteem is completely out the window, I don't want him to see me naked or even touch me anymore. I have always been a strong woman, but I am 36 and he is only 28 so he can get any young girl he wants so this also puts more pressure on me. I don't want to bash my husband, I just want some encouraging advice. I feel horrible!:sad:

    Thank you guys for listening.
    I am cleansing/detoxing today is my first day. You will lose a pound of fat a day with the Master Cleanse. It has never failed me and if you get on Youtube you will see countless testimonials and support/advice. You can read the book free online. If you want the link, email me. I can do this with you and support you if you wish. I am an experienced cleanser.

    Yes, because everything on youtube is right.

    This reminds me of that commercial with that blonde chick who tells the guy that the internet doesn't lie and she's dating a french model...Bonjour :P

    ETA a link that I think people should read:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/821828-detoxes-and-cleanses

    ^This. Now this is good information!
  • dianuhmonkey
    dianuhmonkey Posts: 28 Member
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    Sounds to me like you need to lose the weight to prove to him that you can always lose weight but he can never take back such hurtful words. I know you said you don't want to husband bash so you can look at it this way....when we are angry we tend to speak the truth before we can stop ourselves, so if you look at it that way, then you know he thinks you need to lose weight. But what do you think? While you can use other's views of you as a catalyst to lose weight, you should realize you won't ever achieve it unless you are doing it for you. I say just use his words as ammunition to become a hotter woman than he deserves.

    Oh and starving yourself will do nothing but hurt your weight loss goals, it kills your metabolism! If it is an emotional response then try to steer your emotional response to choosing healthier foods instead of no food at all.


    I totally agree with this for you!!!!!
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    he is a douche magnifico. Call him short **** or something and lose the weight FOR U! not him.......
  • cherubcrnp
    cherubcrnp Posts: 733 Member
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    I so agree with this. It is never acceptable to do this. By destroying your self-esteem and confidence, it makes you feel worthless....and isn't that what all abusive and manipulative men want...to make their women feel low and worthless and that you should be grateful that they chose you?? Well, you are neither of those....you are a valuable, strong, confident woman. We are all here for you!!!!!!!

    Pam
  • Neconilis
    Neconilis Posts: 19 Member
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    You are absolutely beautiful just as you are right now and I'm sorry that you had to go through that. I wish you a lot of luck in your weight loss journey, but never think that you have to lose weight to be 'pretty' again, because from what I can see that never stopped.
  • Macipryor
    Macipryor Posts: 1
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    I wouldnt suggest not eating to detox. Try taking a shot of apple vinegar everyday (my friend does it before every meal but thats crazy).

    As far as your husband, you said he can have any young women BUT HE HAS YOU. Even though you know he can have someone else, so can you... BUT YOUR MARRIED, TO DEATH DO YOU PART. Yes, the things he said are hurtful and cant be taken back but you can move on. When everything is settled down talk to him... COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY

    Loose weight because your not happy about yourself not because of someone else. I did that and lost a lot of weight but gained it all back and some once he was happy, now im doing this for me.

    AT THE END OF THE DAY ALL IS WELL BOO AND THIS TO SHALL PASS :smile:
  • UKMarjie
    UKMarjie Posts: 257 Member
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    Anyhow, my self-esteem is completely out the window, I don't want him to see me naked or even touch me anymore. I have always been a strong woman, but I am 36 and he is only 28 so he can get any young girl he wants so this also puts more pressure on me. I don't want to bash my husband, I just want some encouraging advice. I feel horrible!:sad:

    He can't get any woman he wants - especially if he speaks to them that way.

    Oh honey, this really sucks.

    I hope by now you have eaten something. Starvation and fasting are not a long term solution. And when you do eat you will not be in control.

    I hope you have told him what he said - while it was during a fight - was not ok and that it should never ever be repeated.

    Good luck on your journey.
  • _gwen
    _gwen Posts: 501 Member
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    I wonder what got his goat yesterday. Does he really believe that saying something mean is motivating? I consider this 'kick the dog' syndrome. Someone has a bad day and responds by attacking someone close to them, like kicking the dog, or calling you names.

    What is coming out of his mouth is about him, not about you.

    I don't want to dismiss your hurt feelings, but what if you responded as if he gave you a compliment? Might make him realize what actually came out of his mouth, and even ease the tension. Plus you end up visualizing what you'd really like, positive encouragement.
  • theedge56
    theedge56 Posts: 64 Member
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    A person wiser than me once said "Whan someone shows you who they are, believe them."
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
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    A person wiser than me once said "Whan someone shows you who they are, believe them."
    hmm..never heard this, makes so much sense!!
  • kevinbbrown2012
    kevinbbrown2012 Posts: 3
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    After only four months ? Dump his butt, that treatment should never happen and certainly not after four months !! So sorry.
  • Dargealing
    Dargealing Posts: 58 Member
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    love and marriage is not aout weight and what you are on theoutside. Yes, it can affect you but if he loves you it is becasue of who you are on the inside. I have sturggled with my weight all my life and am now doing this weight loss for me. If you make the choice to lose weight, DON'T DO IT FOR ANYONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF, and the rest will follow. Once you do, you will like what you see on the outside and should boost your confidence you will have aobut yourself on the inside. I agree with the other posts, get help for yourself. Do the weight loss for yourself, and he needs to show you respect. I would not put up with that kind of thing, but starving is not the way to go. You have children from a previous relationship and if he is saying those things and your children are hearing it, what is that teaching them?Nothing good comes to mind. We will all be here to support you. go in and change your profile. Some on here are confused as they missed the post when ou said you were recently posted that you have been married for 4 monthes.
    there has to be consecuences for his words and actions towards you. Not a good sign at only 4 moths, but This needs to be dealt with before it becomes a regualr feature in your marriage.There had to be a reson he wa attracted to you and married you. . that is just my take on it. Friend me if you want some support. I am happy to do that.
  • RonnieLodge
    RonnieLodge Posts: 665 Member
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    I don't want to bash my husband, I just want some encouraging advice. I feel horrible!:sad:

    Thank you guys for listening.

    He is well out of order saying such a mean and unwarranted thing! But people say stupid and mean things in the heat of the moment.

    When you have both had some time to calm down, make sure you tell him just how him saying that makes you feel, how you will be wary about being intimate with him because of such a statement and after he has apologized profusely perhaps make an agreement that sort of plain mean comment is to be off limits in future.

    When my husband and I argue, if it ever descends into name calling one of us will usually call time out by saying ''Too mean'' before we go our separate ways for a while to cool off.
  • Dontneed60
    Dontneed60 Posts: 18 Member
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    HUSBANDS WHO ARE NOT SURE OF THEM SELFS DO THAT THEY USE THE THING THAT MOST HURT YOU AND USE IT TO HURT YOU,, HE KHOWS YOUR HOT AND HE DOES NOT WANT YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT AND HE THINKS BY HIM TELLING YOU THING LIKE THIS YOU WILL EAT AND EAT AND YOU WILL NOT LOSE WEIGHT,,SHOW HIM AND MAKE HIM EAT HIS WORDS LOSE THAT WEIGHT GIRL,,, AND YOUL SEE YOU WILL BE THE ONE LOOKING 28 AND HIM 36, DETOX YOUR BODY EAT RIGHT AND DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO BUT HEALTHY! AND WHEN HE TELLS YOU THING LIKE THAT ACT LIKE YOU DONT CARE ,,,, AND USE IT AS MOTIVATION TO LOSE THE WEIGHT!!!!!!
  • CatAriSal
    CatAriSal Posts: 18 Member
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    You should really sit down and think about the fact that he said something so entirely disrespectful to you. Will this become a common occurrence? If so, will you do something about this? Talk to your husband about this behavior and make sure that he knows that it is in no way acceptable. You two are adults and adults do not speak to each other like that, especially if they love and respect each other. Personally, I would have punched my husband if he ever treated me like that. If he doesn't respect me enough to not say such things, I don't have enough respect to not wreck his pretty face.

    Adults don't usually have to resort to violence either, but I make my own rules as I go.

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