Gym fail blog

I was jogging around the track for a warm up watching the people down below. When I don't pay attention to myself when I run I'm not always graceful. Ever walk next to someone and kick their foot behind the other one as they walk? (No? maybe I'm just an *kitten*) Yep I did that to myself. Lunge and near-faceplant. Nice little tuck and roll and popped back up still in stride. I was the only one up there and no one below happened to notice.

I once belonged to a small gym associated with a hospital. It was an old converted house (A large house). The treadmill room was just that a room in a house. So there wasn't much space from the back of the treadmill to the wall. Well I of course missed a step and went flying backwards. Well the wall was right there and I ended up *kitten* up, head down, feet over the head, in a pretzel position. Mind you I am 5 feet tall. I was literally stuck between the wall and the treadmill. My neck/head was bent and I just keep saying "help me please". There was only 2 other people in the room THANK GOD. A guy on another treadmill came to get me out (we were at the gym the same time every night so we knew of each other). I had a stiff neck and back but ended up dating him for a while so it was worth the embarrassment. This was 1998 and I'll never ever forget it.

My wife and I went to the Y so she could work out and I could get set up with the FitLinxx system. While waiting for the gym attendant to do his computer thing and get me set up, I was checking out butts in the gym. I fixated on one in the corner on an elliptical machine. Then I realized that I was ogling my own wife.

I remember about a year ago I got on an exercise bike and did like 7 minutes of cardio.

Been busted checking myself out in the mirrors (and they are not shy about pointing out my doing this nor do I care anymore)

I've had my behind saved while benching thinking I can do it alone!

Yesterday, took a 30lbs dumbbell to the jaw while trying to do decline presses. My arms were DONE.

Once knocked the bar off the safety guides in the squat rack while doing hanging leg raises. Could of sworn the bar was in the little v cradle things. OOps.

A friend talked me into doing a yoga class. I get there and it's me and 20 women who are all around my age. I'm thinking this could be a great opportunity. About 30 minutes in we do about the hundredth downward dog and I ripped a fart that seemed loud enough to shake the building. On top of that, it lasted what had to be 5-10 minutes. First and last time I've done yoga.

See and this is why i wont do Yoga.. ive heard this a lot .. and im scared .. I wont do it... im already gassy :blushing:

One time I was wearing a really short skirt and my tampon string was hanging out. A guy came up and asked me about it, because he didn't know what a tampon was.

OMG WHATEVER U DO DONT GOOGLE IT OMG

Yea but people definitely saw. I walked up to a group of young women at the squat racks not too long ago. There were about 5 of them and they were taking up both racks and circuit training on top of it. I asked if I could cut in on one of the racks. They immediately moved. Very quickly. There I am thinking "very polite young ladies".

So I walked up to the bar, looked in the mirror . . . and noticed my fly was all the way down.

:blushing:

Ok I've got two.

First one happened about 2 years ago. I was running on the treadmill wearing stretchy Lululemon capris that had belt holes on the waist, and they kept sliding down a bit. I didn't want to stop running so I just kept yanking the waist back up by the holes as I ran. Somehow i got my finger hooked in them, took them down to my knees as my arm swung backwards, which then tripped me up so I shot off the back of the treadmill and fell. I also wasn't wearing underwear underneath, so until I could get up properly and pull my pants up, everyone in the gym (women's only luckily) got quite the view.

Second one happened about 3 weeks ago. I was learning how to do hack squats, where you place the barbell behind your legs and lift from there. I did it without any weight, just the 45 pound barbell and got the technique down. I then tried to add weight, thinking I was grabbing 10 pounds per side, but accidentally grabbed the 25's. I normally use the 25's for back squats, and obviously wasn't paying attention. I went to lift the bar, got it off the floor about an inch, realized my mistake, and as I was setting it down, lost my balance and fell on my *kitten* on the bar. Embarrassing newbie mistake that left a nice bruise.

Hmmm I have a few.

This was my first visit to the local local kickboxing class. It was also Day 1 of my weight loss resolution, so I wasn't exactly what you call "in shape". Anyway our instructor paired us all up and of course I didn't think to go with a buddy so I was paired with a woman who had at least 5" on me, and she looked like she'd been coming for a while. It comes time to do some push-kick drills back and forth across the room. I do my thing and she's pretty silent the whole way through. 5 minutes later we switch positions, so now she's kicking me... She flung me across the entire room in 4 kicks. O_______O; The instructor had to step in and hold the kicking target for her... And I wasn't paired with an experienced boxer for several weeks after that heehee...

Next was one of my first return visits to an MRT class. The instructor had set up an obstacle course for our 5 minute warm-up jog. One section consisted of jumping onto boxes using both legs, then stepping down before jumping onto the next one. I hadn't been too comfortable with box jumps before, but I figured I could finally do it. I ran up the stretch to the boxes, determined to perform with gusto. I leaped up, realizing at the peak of my jump that I miscalculated the distance. I had a split second moment of "FML, why me?..." before I whacked both knees on the edge of the box. Ah crap... I was fine, but I didn't attempt any more box jumps that class lol.

This one happened more recently at my MRT classes. It was a new instructor and our next exercise was a grueling 50 assisted chin-ups. I. Hate. Chin-ups. I don't even like jumping chin-ups. But whatever, boss man says "go". So I strap myself up using an elastic resistance band as my assist. Note that I have NEVER used one for chin-ups before. I start lifting myself up, and I'm feeling pretty confident considering I didn't think I'd manage to do 1 chin-up. All of a sudden, at about rep 11 or 12, TWANG. The elastic slipped off my sneaker and nails me right where the sun don't shine. Oh it didn't hurt, but I'm sure I must have looked pretty stupid with a massive wedgie, dangling from the chin-up bar!

I leaped up, realizing at the peak of my jump that I miscalculated the distance. I had a split second moment of "FML, why me?..." before I whacked both knees on the edge of the box.

Lol I did this too, but I couldn't stop my forward momentum and took the box over with me. I landed on all fours, with the box behind me. Luckily, this was during a rugby training session, all of our first times with box jumps, and I wasn't the only one who did it.

i farted loud as hell while doing a deep squat

I was using a treadmill that had smallish cupholders. My water bottle was too big to fit but I squeezed that sucker in there. I started out with a walk when a gentleman started the machine next to me. After a few minutes, I decided to end my warm-up and start to run. As I did, the machine started to jolt around (it was an older machine) and my water bottle flew out and into the treadmill next to me being used by the gentleman. Luckily, he was only walking and saw the bottle as it flew onto his machine so he knew to jump over it.

I was so embarrassed that I turned off my machine, apologize profusely while I grabbed my bottle then left the gym.

They've since bought newer more stable machines with larger cupholders :blushing:

My friends and family can't quite figure out how I used to punch the treadmill when I ran on one. What can I say, I run with proper form but can't run in a straight line (even on a treadmill) and the side rails got too close a few times. It hasn't happened in a while so I guess I have adjusted to treadmill running.

I used to work at a gym but only the front desk. And so I would work out from time to time after my shift ended. One day, I decided not to hop on the treadmill but try the elliptical instead. I would get on one but not start pedaling and try to set up my time and all that and when it didn't work I switched to a different one. I probably jumped on and off 3 or 4 ellipticals before I gave up and got on a treadmill. I found out LATER that you have to start pedaling in order to get the screen up to set time and resistance. *palmface*

This fail happened outside the gym...but I'll blame it on a lack of fitness... I was a Cedar Point, an amusement park, and went to get in line for a ride. Since I would have had to walk some distance to the line entrance, I thought I would be smart and just jump the fence to save some time since the line wasn't that long. Turns out I'm not good at that, because my foot caught the railing and I did a Napoleon Dynamite face plant in front of the whole line of people. I then had to stand in line with these people...soo embarassing!!