Anyone elses SO less then supportive?

I've been there in EVERY way you described.... was there for more years than I care for even after trying for years on end to make it all work.....

If you want it to work counseling may help if he's not willing to communicate and listen on his own and learning how to take care of the kids when its needed and support you when its needed.

I ended my marriage 3 years ago for every reason you specified. My girls were in their teenage years, we had been married 20 years and I was a single parent for 20 years.

Ignore him and his immature behavior. This is about you so don't let him bring you down. He can get on board or get off but don't let it effect you. I know that easier said then done but ignore it if you can. You'll feel better about you if you can. If you focus on his negativity it will become yours and you don't deserve it. You're on the right path, stick to it, if for no other reason than to piss him off for being a big baby about this

I think this is very common. I don't have a spouse but I have friends and family that run into the same issue. I think the key, like a few others have stated is to keep the focus on YOU. You have a right to be angry, especially at a man that balks about "watching his own children" but there is little you can do to change him. Try having a heart to heart with him and tell him how you feel. There is not much else you can do.

Just DON'T GIVE UP! You might have to do this without his support and that's okay. Maybe it will help you overcome some of the resentment and anger you feel if you think about the situation from his point of view.

He probably feels threatened because you are making a big change in your life, not just talking about it but doing it. He (based on your comments) isn't doing anything constructive or anything to better himself. Maybe he feels "left behind". Doesn't make sense, as you would think he'd be proud of you. I once had a friend that lost 55 pounds and her husband made the comment "I liked her better when she was fat". Yes, true story!!

Anyway, good luck and remember...don't give up! It would be easier with his support but you can do it without him!! You have us, so look to MFP for support if you have rough days!!

I went through this with my husband also. It just takes time. I used to go to Weight Watchers and I would go in every week to the meetings and vent about my husband. Ha ha! He is the cook in the family and is also from the South. He would cook fattening meals and when I would complain that I really can't eat steak and mashed potatoes with butter, he would say. Just eat less honey. UGH! It's hard to eat less when its delicious and your hungry!! However, as I continued to work on my weight loss and quite complaining and just did what I needed to for me, he started to change his meals. He is over weight and I think he was afraid that I would start to push it on him. He is not ready to make changes yet. Ignore the comments and complaints - and be okay with him being inconvenienced. It won't kill him.

My wife just told me she had an affair that lasted 6 weeks, does that count as unsupportive?

My wife just told me she had an affair that lasted 6 weeks, does that count as unsupportive?

^ Wow..THAT sucks...

I would say keep doing what you are doing and try to deal with your marital problems if it be counseling or something but do not make any half hazard decision from a weight loss forum discussion post .people are saying leave him and all sorts of things but that is not what marriage is about at least try to fix the problems first. yes he could be a better spouse and supporter but we dont know the whole story we dont know if it has always been like this or if he is going through something that he needs help with come on people dont be so fast to give the verdict without knowing the whole matter

I was going to reply that yeah, my boyfriend won't work out with me because he's too tired and that tends to make me not want to either...plus he will buy unhealthy snack food to eat right in front of me which makes it harder!

But not quite the same as your situation...he's working 12 hours a day to my 8 hours so I suck it up and work out when he's not around.

In your case it sounds like the problems run much deeper and if he acts like this all the time, at minimum maybe some couples therapy is in order?

I can't say mine is completely unsupportive... however he does poke fun at me sometimes and tells me I am overly obsessed with tracking my calories.. he makes fun when I am cooking in the kitchen and have my laptop on the counter so i can log each and every ingredient calorie on MFP... I am a tad obsessed with being as accurate as possible with it all, but I dont think its a bad thing. he will also sometimes try to offer me something not very good for me (piece of candy, chips, etc) and when I decline he says stuff like "one piece of candy is not going to make you fat!"... it bothers me... but it not all the time he does it, for the most part he seems supportive.

* this-although he swears now that he is going to get serious....he also states he isnt going to watch the calories just cut back on serving size.....mmmmm ya don know.....
your SO ....boy I feel bad for him...NOT....tell him to get up off his lazy a** and help with the kids and household chores....thats his responsibility too not just yours....especially if you are working and he is not but irregardless he can be a parent/spouse....if he thinks its just too much then maybe he would be happier being alone ....good luck

Find a new husband.

Sounds like there are a lot more issues in your relationship than just weight loss.

I keep seeing the divorce word being tossed around. Has anyone even listened to vows " for better or worse" jeez at least suggest therapy or something first. I think he is being lazy by not going to the store himself and sleeping in so late, and he is being an irresponsible parent by sleeping instead of watching his kids but obviously this isn't a new situation she has allowed him to continue this for a while so he is not completely to blame. Also even if she talks to him he wont change overnight it may take some time.

I suggest talking to him alone without the kids around (in case of a fight and also so there are not any distractions from the conversation) and explain to him that you would like him to make an effort to change (ex: helping more with the kids, shopping) and you will make an effort to not expect a 180 overnight, that you will try to be patient . Good luck I hope everything works out.

My spouse (prematuremango on MFP) is supportive, and is taking this 'journey' with me. The only think that irks her a little is that I'm the obsessive type that tries to learn everything there is to know about a new subject, and I love to try to teach her too. I think if I try to teach her the difference between BMR, RMR and TDEE one more time, she may divorce me, weight loss be damned.

So sorry you are going through this. I kind of have the same sort of situation. My SO drinks and binges and doesn't have the best temper. And the longer I do this, the more he is mad at me for not failing and not joining him in his bad behavior. We are growing into 2 different people. Probably more accurately I am growing (or shrinking) into my full potential. He wants me to be a drunken drug addict.

Makes me so sad to think about it.. But, I don't think we will make it together anymore.

Well, I can say that my SO is only not on board in one way. She likes to buy/eat crap I do not want in the house. She is more than willing to hide it from me though. ;-)

Your SO on the other hand sounds like a total selfish *kitten*. He should be pulling his own weight watching the kids when he is awake. Oh and sleeping 12 hours a day? WTF is up with that? People only need 8 hours of sleep, period. Hell I do just fine on 6. So tell him we all said it is time for him to grow up or get out! You can find MUCH better than this loser.

Don't ask his permission to get to the gym. Just tell him you will be back in a couple of hours and leave his *kitten* there to watch the kids. You do not need his permission. I hope this means more coming from a guy. We are not all douches, sadly it seems like yours is and will need to be forced to step up. He will not likely do so on his own. Make him step up and take on some responsibility!

He sounds like my dad. My mom goes for runs and sometimes the gym, and everytime he argues about it. I dont even think he knows why he argues about it. He just does. I believe that he is so used to my mom slaving away doing everything, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc, that he just dislikes this sudden change. Hes now out of his comfort zone and im sure he has bigger responsibility to take care of while your gone. Bottom line though, you need to take care of yourself. My mom still goes for her daily runs and goes to the gym once a week after dinner .. You need to make time for yourself. He may not understand that or like it, but if you really want to be fit and healthy, DO IT!

There is no greater feeling than being determined, working HARD, being and staying motivated, feeling like youve accomplished something, feeling proud of yourself, and being successful. You can do this!!!